FIC: Sidelines

Oct 16, 2008 09:54

Title: Sidelines
Author: shelbecat
Rating: T
Spoilers: 3x02
Summary: Written for fnl_laundrylist challenge #28, prompt #10 Is Lyla seeing Tim for Tim? If she's trying to make him into something he's not, what sort of Frankenstein's monster of a boyfriend is she creating? A splash of Chris, a dash of Jason and a pinch of Jesus? Who is her perfect man?


Sidelines
It took a long time to realize that being happy didn’t make her a sinner. It wasn’t like she’d had a lot of experience with relationships, but the one constant was that every time she thought she found happiness, she also found a way to ruin it. Like she didn’t deserve the pleasure. Like there always had to be a dark side.

With Jason, things had been golden. He was her first true love; a perfect boyfriend (not to mention her best shot at Homecoming Queen). But it was easy to let the golden halo surrounding Jason’s football career mask the flaws in their relationship. Jason could be moody, and even though she knew he loved her, football had always come first. He would have taken care of her, she believed in that, but there would have always been another ‘woman’ in his life-the game.

Still, it didn’t excuse what she’d done. She’d made a mistake falling for Tim the first time around. He was wild and unfaithful and she should have pushed those desires down into her deepest depths. Instead, she let her heart lead her right out of two relationships until it was just Tim and Jay left to be friends while she watched from the sidelines.

Forever the cheerleader.

It took a year to forgive herself for hurting Jason and Tim the way she had, and by that time Chris was in her life and it was so much easier to find forgiveness when you were dishing it out for a living. Chris was a nice guy, ‘Jesus-approved’, and so what if Tim seemed to be asking for a second chance-she was a good Christian. You didn’t date the guy you’d already cheated with. There was no chapter on second chances in the good book.

Chris made her happy for a while. He accompanied her to church, and encouraged her quest to find salvation in religion. Eventually though, that’s all there was-philosophical discussions about the Lord’s teachings that made her head hurt when all she wanted was a night out at the movies. They’d parted amicably, but she still felt like she’d done something wrong. Like she should have tried harder to make it work with such a good catch.

Sometimes God made it really hard to be happy.

And then there’d been Tim, redux. She tried to do the right thing and avoid Tim at all costs-there was no good to be found in a relationship between them. It was just sex and lust and what kind of Christian would she be if she gave in to carnal desires?

A damn happy one, or so she found out come summer.

Tim’s body was harder than ever and for whatever those cheerleaders had been using him for, it had only made the sex better. She was done feeling guilty for being happy. For once, Tim only had eyes for one girl. A powerful feeling if you were her.

And a feeling she had to be careful not to abuse. She hadn’t wanted to push him into awkward dinners he didn’t want to go to. She didn’t like stuffing his arms into suit jackets from the second-hand shop (since he would never let her buy one out of her own money). But he was going nowhere, and fast, and if she didn’t set his life on a path with some idea of a future plan, where was he going to end up? And where would that leave her?

Standing in her driveway with leftover rare squab.

It didn’t take long to make up her mind. The cheeseburger was an easy decision, and she knew her way to his house like the back of her hand. She saw Tyra’s truck parked out front, but it was easy to hope that it was just Mindy inside with Billy. She almost forgot to be surprised when she saw Tim sprawled on the couch in his underwear and Tyra sitting beside him like she was exactly where she belonged.

She’d bet her bank account that Tim hadn’t thought twice about what it looked like to be sitting half-naked next to your ex-girlfriend. And explaining where his pants were came way too easily to someone who should have been trying to apologize.

But this was Tim.

He was never going to be the guy that owned a proper suit. He was never going to open a car door for her or take her hand just because they were walking down a flight of stairs. He was the guy that would take a punch in the face for her. He was the guy that would eat raw pigeon and not complain, even once, because he thought it was what she wanted.

This was the same Tim that she had known since grade school. The same Tim that knew beers with the boys beat out sex with your girlfriend when you lost a particularly tough game. The same Tim she had fallen for almost two years ago. The Tim she loved.

The cheeseburger was cold by the time he got around to eating it, but he didn’t seem to mind. Her dress was somewhere on the floor by his bed, or maybe even out in the hallway, but lying against his chest made her feel warm and safe. And happy.

/fin/
Authors' Note: Thanks to 1407graymalkin for not backing down and telling me that the first draft just did not work. It’s so much better because of that.

fic, fnl

Previous post Next post
Up