FIC: And It Feels Like Falling
Title: And It Feels Like Falling
Author: shelbecat
Rating: T (PG-13)
Pairing: Kris/Danny
Notes: Occurs before/during the Top 4 Performance show.
And It Feels Like Falling
Kris Allen has always known his place in the world. He isn’t the macho jock; he isn’t the hunky good-looking dude; and he isn’t tall…girls notice that a lot apparently. But he can play guitar, and sing, and so what if his mouth moves in funny ways when he is pouring lyrics into the microphone-it’s his trademark and he’s milking it for all it’s worth.
When the duets are announced, Kris prays he’ll be paired with Allison. He isn’t stupid. He knows he’s running third at best behind Adam and Danny and being paired with Allison means all he has to do is be better than her and he’ll be golden. He can even handle Adam. The rocker is so different than Kris that all he has to do is work in his guitar somehow and they’ll be judged on their own merits.
The only choice he can’t handle is Danny. And not because they are the most alike stylistically, and not because their voices compliment each other’s so perfectly that it’s going to be hard for viewers to decide who carried who, but because if Danny so much as looks in Kris’s direction, he doesn’t think he can control himself.
He’s going to forget not to kiss Danny right there on stage.
He’s going to forget that he has a wife.
And he’s going to lose all of it.
Danny doesn’t believe in bad rebound decisions. He’s the king of rebounds; had gotten his last girlfriend turned fiancé turned wife that way. And when his wife died, Idol was sitting right there on the table and all Danny had to do was line-up for 18 hours and he had a golden ticket. So maybe it was rash to quit your job and move across the country for 3 months when the memory of Sophia is still fresh and raw; but that was the beauty of rebounds-you got to forget what you were trying to forget and find happiness in whatever new came along.
And Danny has found a lot of happiness right here in California.
Sometimes he has to remind himself that it’s a competition. He’s having so much fun performing and learning and being friends with people who were thrown right into his life; that it’s easy to forget that there is an actual prize to be found at the end of this rainbow. Truthfully, he’d be content to go back to Milwaukee and carry the memories close to his heart, but the Idol title would change his life, and after the wild ride of the past few months, he needs another rebound to focus on.
Hell, right now, he’d take anything at all to break his focus away from Kris riffing into his mic and the way his lip curls like a blossoming flower, lyrics pouring forth like dripping nectar. They are supposed to be choosing a song and practicing it until it comes to them like second nature, but all Danny can think about is if Kris’s lips would flow so smoothly against his skin. If he could feel as comfortable in Kris’s grasp as the steel shaft of the microphone looks in Kris’s hand.
The song had to have a guitar. That had been his only request. Kris didn’t care if Danny wanted to sing a power ballad by some obscure country rocker that would highlight every tone of Gokey’s voice and leave Kris looking like a piano player in a biker bar; he had to have something to do with his hands beside hold on to the microphone or he was going to throw his whole body at his singing partner.
And yet, they’re singing Renegade.
The practice room is plenty big, with room for all 13 original Idol contestants to sit around and run through a song, and yet Danny drew his chair so close to Kris’s that their knees are almost touching. Kris pulls at a frayed piece of fabric running around a hole in his jeans and tries to keep his eyes on his hands.
“You know, if you wanted cut-offs, I’m sure there’s a pair of scissors around here somewhere,” Danny says.
Kris glances down at his jeans to see the hole split right across his thigh. Cursing, he stands quickly, his chair tipping over onto the floor.
“Easy man, you can rip ‘em yourself if you want.”
Danny’s voice is light, teasing, but that only makes Kris all the more guilty for the yearning it makes him feel. It’s easier to be angry at him; easier to think that Danny is holding him back in this performance. He runs his hands up in his hair and closes his eyes. He only has to hold it together for a few more hours. The live performances are tonight. He just needs to focus.
“Hey,” Danny’s voice is soft, and coming from right behind Kris’s shoulder. Then Danny’s hand is flitting against his wrist and it’s like a switch flipped in Kris’s stomach.
He whirls around, flipping his arm so that his hand is grabbing Danny’s wrist, while his other hand grips the back of Danny’s neck, and his lips crush down on Danny’s mouth.
Kris closes his eyes and thinks…it feels just like falling. But it’s over as fast as it begins and he wonders, for just a second, if it even happened at all. Then he opens his eyes and sees Danny’s mouth curved into the shock of an ‘O’-and he knows it’s true. The taste on his lips is Danny’s chapstick, the catch in his throat is his voice threatening to leave; and the stain on his heart is never going to fade.
Danny figures it was Kris’s way of getting the upper hand. Of course that is in between stomach-turning thoughts of ‘Oh my Jesus, does this mean I’m gay?’ and ‘What would Sophia say?’.
But he doesn’t know the answer to either of those questions except Sophia always wanted him to be happy and when he looks at Kris, waiting across the backstage area from him, he feels warmth in his heart for the first time in months. She would have liked that, he’s willing to bet. And Bible classes be damned, if it’s good enough for Sophia, it’s going to have to be good enough for Jesus too.
They haven’t been alone since ‘It’ happened. Maybe it’s all in Danny’s mind, but he’s pretty sure Kris found some hidden back staircase in the mansion to avoid their crossing paths today. In either case, their dress rehearsal is starting in a few minutes and then at least they’ll share the same space, breathe the same air, when suddenly there’s a flurry of activity and someone shouts ‘The sky is falling’.
Danny looks over and Kris, and he’s grinning, and for a moment all the awkwardness disappears.
“You think that makes Ryan Chicken Little?” Danny jokes.
But Kris’s smile vanishes like a whisper in the wind and Danny is left with the sinking feeling that Kris’s smile was one of relief.
His personality has fractured and created another person. That’s the only explanation Kris can come up with for his actions; that and the fact that inside of him is a boy crying out to be understood while the man everyone is watching on stage is calm and personable and laughing…somehow, incomprehensibly, laughing.
He did the best he could with Renegade but Simon pegged Danny as the better singer and Kris thinks he’s okay with that. Let’s face it-one of them has got to go home tomorrow or Kris is never going to make it another week. And at this point, he’s actually praying that it’ll be him.
They are standing on the stage with Ryan and the weight of his conscious is smothering him. He guesses that means his psyche is still intact or else he wouldn’t be fazed by Danny’s hand caressing (it’s just touching!) his back. He reciprocates, awkward and clumsy, and immediately plasters his hand to his leg again. Safe.
Ryan reminds him that his solo is up next and that familiar swirl of nerves flutters in his stomach. Will he be good enough to stay? Does he want to be? He needs off this stage and without waiting for a cue that they are gone to commercial, Kris walks away.
There’s a black curtain hiding the stage from the bright lights of the backstage area, and beyond that another curtain to make certain not a strip of light snakes its way onto live television. In that space in between is where Danny tackles him.
Well maybe tackles is not the most accurate description for what happens but one second Kris has his hand on the second curtain and the next he’s being wheeled around by his shoulders and slammed against the side wall. Then Danny’s mouth doesn’t waste a moment explaining how or what he’s feeling, it just pours forth emotion directly into Kris’s body and his brain can’t even tell his hands that he should be gripping Danny’s neck too.
And then the kiss is over and there’s a breathy sigh against his cheek, Danny’s forehead mashed against his, and words hanging in the blackness, “Don’t give up.”
On him, or the show, Kris doesn’t know. But Danny is gone through the curtain and someone is screaming ‘Two minutes to curtain’. Kris sets a new record for fastest costume change and is waiting at the curtain to walk back onstage when he turns and sees Danny leaning against the wall across the room.
There’s a grin on his face, like he knows the answer to a secret question, and Kris thinks, for just a second, that maybe he’ll get to find out too.
/fin/
Author's Note: Thanks muchly to rachel_wilder and devilc for the speedy betas (even though they don't watch). I've never written in this fandom before and I realize now this is probably not the most popular pairing, but I saw something during the Top 4 Performance show that inspired this...and hey, when you get inspiration around here, you write.
Author: shelbecat
Rating: T (PG-13)
Pairing: Kris/Danny
Notes: Occurs before/during the Top 4 Performance show.
And It Feels Like Falling
Kris Allen has always known his place in the world. He isn’t the macho jock; he isn’t the hunky good-looking dude; and he isn’t tall…girls notice that a lot apparently. But he can play guitar, and sing, and so what if his mouth moves in funny ways when he is pouring lyrics into the microphone-it’s his trademark and he’s milking it for all it’s worth.
When the duets are announced, Kris prays he’ll be paired with Allison. He isn’t stupid. He knows he’s running third at best behind Adam and Danny and being paired with Allison means all he has to do is be better than her and he’ll be golden. He can even handle Adam. The rocker is so different than Kris that all he has to do is work in his guitar somehow and they’ll be judged on their own merits.
The only choice he can’t handle is Danny. And not because they are the most alike stylistically, and not because their voices compliment each other’s so perfectly that it’s going to be hard for viewers to decide who carried who, but because if Danny so much as looks in Kris’s direction, he doesn’t think he can control himself.
He’s going to forget not to kiss Danny right there on stage.
He’s going to forget that he has a wife.
And he’s going to lose all of it.
Danny doesn’t believe in bad rebound decisions. He’s the king of rebounds; had gotten his last girlfriend turned fiancé turned wife that way. And when his wife died, Idol was sitting right there on the table and all Danny had to do was line-up for 18 hours and he had a golden ticket. So maybe it was rash to quit your job and move across the country for 3 months when the memory of Sophia is still fresh and raw; but that was the beauty of rebounds-you got to forget what you were trying to forget and find happiness in whatever new came along.
And Danny has found a lot of happiness right here in California.
Sometimes he has to remind himself that it’s a competition. He’s having so much fun performing and learning and being friends with people who were thrown right into his life; that it’s easy to forget that there is an actual prize to be found at the end of this rainbow. Truthfully, he’d be content to go back to Milwaukee and carry the memories close to his heart, but the Idol title would change his life, and after the wild ride of the past few months, he needs another rebound to focus on.
Hell, right now, he’d take anything at all to break his focus away from Kris riffing into his mic and the way his lip curls like a blossoming flower, lyrics pouring forth like dripping nectar. They are supposed to be choosing a song and practicing it until it comes to them like second nature, but all Danny can think about is if Kris’s lips would flow so smoothly against his skin. If he could feel as comfortable in Kris’s grasp as the steel shaft of the microphone looks in Kris’s hand.
The song had to have a guitar. That had been his only request. Kris didn’t care if Danny wanted to sing a power ballad by some obscure country rocker that would highlight every tone of Gokey’s voice and leave Kris looking like a piano player in a biker bar; he had to have something to do with his hands beside hold on to the microphone or he was going to throw his whole body at his singing partner.
And yet, they’re singing Renegade.
The practice room is plenty big, with room for all 13 original Idol contestants to sit around and run through a song, and yet Danny drew his chair so close to Kris’s that their knees are almost touching. Kris pulls at a frayed piece of fabric running around a hole in his jeans and tries to keep his eyes on his hands.
“You know, if you wanted cut-offs, I’m sure there’s a pair of scissors around here somewhere,” Danny says.
Kris glances down at his jeans to see the hole split right across his thigh. Cursing, he stands quickly, his chair tipping over onto the floor.
“Easy man, you can rip ‘em yourself if you want.”
Danny’s voice is light, teasing, but that only makes Kris all the more guilty for the yearning it makes him feel. It’s easier to be angry at him; easier to think that Danny is holding him back in this performance. He runs his hands up in his hair and closes his eyes. He only has to hold it together for a few more hours. The live performances are tonight. He just needs to focus.
“Hey,” Danny’s voice is soft, and coming from right behind Kris’s shoulder. Then Danny’s hand is flitting against his wrist and it’s like a switch flipped in Kris’s stomach.
He whirls around, flipping his arm so that his hand is grabbing Danny’s wrist, while his other hand grips the back of Danny’s neck, and his lips crush down on Danny’s mouth.
Kris closes his eyes and thinks…it feels just like falling. But it’s over as fast as it begins and he wonders, for just a second, if it even happened at all. Then he opens his eyes and sees Danny’s mouth curved into the shock of an ‘O’-and he knows it’s true. The taste on his lips is Danny’s chapstick, the catch in his throat is his voice threatening to leave; and the stain on his heart is never going to fade.
Danny figures it was Kris’s way of getting the upper hand. Of course that is in between stomach-turning thoughts of ‘Oh my Jesus, does this mean I’m gay?’ and ‘What would Sophia say?’.
But he doesn’t know the answer to either of those questions except Sophia always wanted him to be happy and when he looks at Kris, waiting across the backstage area from him, he feels warmth in his heart for the first time in months. She would have liked that, he’s willing to bet. And Bible classes be damned, if it’s good enough for Sophia, it’s going to have to be good enough for Jesus too.
They haven’t been alone since ‘It’ happened. Maybe it’s all in Danny’s mind, but he’s pretty sure Kris found some hidden back staircase in the mansion to avoid their crossing paths today. In either case, their dress rehearsal is starting in a few minutes and then at least they’ll share the same space, breathe the same air, when suddenly there’s a flurry of activity and someone shouts ‘The sky is falling’.
Danny looks over and Kris, and he’s grinning, and for a moment all the awkwardness disappears.
“You think that makes Ryan Chicken Little?” Danny jokes.
But Kris’s smile vanishes like a whisper in the wind and Danny is left with the sinking feeling that Kris’s smile was one of relief.
His personality has fractured and created another person. That’s the only explanation Kris can come up with for his actions; that and the fact that inside of him is a boy crying out to be understood while the man everyone is watching on stage is calm and personable and laughing…somehow, incomprehensibly, laughing.
He did the best he could with Renegade but Simon pegged Danny as the better singer and Kris thinks he’s okay with that. Let’s face it-one of them has got to go home tomorrow or Kris is never going to make it another week. And at this point, he’s actually praying that it’ll be him.
They are standing on the stage with Ryan and the weight of his conscious is smothering him. He guesses that means his psyche is still intact or else he wouldn’t be fazed by Danny’s hand caressing (it’s just touching!) his back. He reciprocates, awkward and clumsy, and immediately plasters his hand to his leg again. Safe.
Ryan reminds him that his solo is up next and that familiar swirl of nerves flutters in his stomach. Will he be good enough to stay? Does he want to be? He needs off this stage and without waiting for a cue that they are gone to commercial, Kris walks away.
There’s a black curtain hiding the stage from the bright lights of the backstage area, and beyond that another curtain to make certain not a strip of light snakes its way onto live television. In that space in between is where Danny tackles him.
Well maybe tackles is not the most accurate description for what happens but one second Kris has his hand on the second curtain and the next he’s being wheeled around by his shoulders and slammed against the side wall. Then Danny’s mouth doesn’t waste a moment explaining how or what he’s feeling, it just pours forth emotion directly into Kris’s body and his brain can’t even tell his hands that he should be gripping Danny’s neck too.
And then the kiss is over and there’s a breathy sigh against his cheek, Danny’s forehead mashed against his, and words hanging in the blackness, “Don’t give up.”
On him, or the show, Kris doesn’t know. But Danny is gone through the curtain and someone is screaming ‘Two minutes to curtain’. Kris sets a new record for fastest costume change and is waiting at the curtain to walk back onstage when he turns and sees Danny leaning against the wall across the room.
There’s a grin on his face, like he knows the answer to a secret question, and Kris thinks, for just a second, that maybe he’ll get to find out too.
/fin/
Author's Note: Thanks muchly to rachel_wilder and devilc for the speedy betas (even though they don't watch). I've never written in this fandom before and I realize now this is probably not the most popular pairing, but I saw something during the Top 4 Performance show that inspired this...and hey, when you get inspiration around here, you write.