A Merry Saturnalia Gift For: vvignettes - The Dating Game
The Dating Game
By: trippy41
For: vvignettes
!a very merry saturnalia
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3, 647
I hope you like it!
Tuesday
Sheldon
Sheldon generally wasn’t a pacer - unless he was teasing Leonard about how the Flash would - yet here he was - pacing. Sheldon also wasn’t generally the nervous sort. What would Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper have to be nervous about? Yet here he was - nervously chewing his upper lip. And pacing.
In front of his own front door - and willing the doorknob to turn of its own volition so that he’d go into the hallway without much thought. But Sheldon thought too much - and in this instance, it could be a hindrance.
Sheldon scoffed at himself and grabbed the doorknob and twisted - what was he afraid of? Oh yes, five feet and seven inches of blonde mayhem. He let go of the doorknob. This was a bad idea.
He was going to ask Penny out. On a date.
He felt a wave of the same feeling that he now associated with her. Sheldon first thought of this feeling one night while she was sitting thigh to thigh with him on the couch. He thought that it was food poisoning from his Mee Krob. Sheldon had since, through scientific investigation, discovered that it was desire. Drat!
Sheldon again recited the different scenarios in his head that were recently on his whiteboard of her possible reactions to his asking her out.
1. She would laugh and shut the door in his face. (Number one as he thought it most likely).
2. She would laugh awkwardly - believing him to be telling a joke and spoiling the punch line. (Which, had been pointed out to him on many occasions, he often did)
3. She would laugh - not understand him - but invite him in for tea. (Or cocoa, as this was a month with an ‘R’ in it.)
Sheldon had noted when he was writing these scenarios on his board, that Penny laughed at him in all of them. Then there was the one scenario that kept him wanting to turn that knob.
4. Penny says yes.
Penny
Penny put on the kettle to boil for some tea - strange, since a glass of wine was usually her evening drink of choice (unless it was a bad evening - then she’d make friends with the Captain). She must be channelling Sheldon, because she’d had the thought to finally take her clean clothes out of the basket and put them away. It was Tuesday after all - they’d sat in the basket since Saturday.
Usually, Sheldon makes her put her clothes away before putting on their movie. This past Saturday, he’d been distracted - even forgetting that it was his week to choose. She wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth as she put on Nanny Diaries and thought “screw the clothes.”
Now she had a basket of wrinkles.
The teapot sounded like it was just about to start to whistle, when, like he’d heard it from his apartment came Sheldon. There was no point to opening the door yet.
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
Now, she could open the door. “Hi Sheldon. C’mon in, I was just making some tea.” She went to the kitchen.
He stood by the door unmoving - eyes wide. What had she done wrong now? “It’s herbal tea, Sheldon - come in and close the door!”
He did, and went to go sit down on her couch. Penny came over with their tea and sat beside him. “What’s up Moonpie?”
“Up? - Oh yes, why I’m here. Penny, do you know what this Thursday is?” Sheldon was rubbing his knees, but looking pointedly at her.
Penny got away with “Moonpie?” That was a first. “Of course! - “Anything Can Happen Thursday!”
And of course, she knew what that meant - that the other guys would go do anything they wanted - mostly non-Sheldon approved things, like going to bars to pick up women (or try to). And Sheldon would be left to her - as he didn’t really crave the alone time he said he always wanted.
“I think - I mean - I want us to have dinner together this Thursday.” Sheldon’s knee was shaking.
“Sweetie, we have dinner every Thursday.” Penny was even fond of spaghetti with hotdogs now. As gross as it had originally sounded, maybe Mary Cooper was on to something.
“Um, no. I mean go out for dinner,” Sheldon said, “at a restaurant.” He put both hands on the shaking knee.
“Sure. I mean, it’s “Anything Can Happen Thursday” right?
“Right.” Sheldon sat back, grinning, and seemed to relax for the first time since entering her apartment.
Raj
Raj closed Eclipse and sighed. Oh Bella, you will make such a beautiful bride, he sniffed. He put the book down, and picked up Twilight to begin again. In Raj’s universe, Breaking Dawn didn’t exist - because what was up with that shit?
Raj’s phone beeped. A text from Howard: Sorry-B. says 12th base is a go 2night so no movies. Maybe 2morrow-H.
Raj threw his phone down to the end of the couch with a growl - like it was his iPhone’s fault that Howard was a douche. Anyway, tomorrow was Halo night.
It’s not like Raj didn’t like Bernadette - he did. She was strange, quirky and funny. A lot like Howard actually.
What Raj didn’t like was to be ignored. While he liked Leonard, and even Sheldon, Howard was his best friend. Leonard and Sheldon had their own dynamic. They were roommates as well as friends - there was always someone to play Jenga or chess with. Then there was Penny, who was her own entity. He couldn’t even communicate with her unless he had a Grasshopper in his hand, or Howard nearby to translate for him.
Howard. Raj felt frustrated. Who else could he go and see Love and Other Drugs with? It was Anne Hathaway! Agent 99! The Princess! She was even hot as Jane Austen. Raj sighed. He couldn’t go alone - that was just sad.
Raj put down Twilight - all of the sudden not in the mood for any more angst.
Howard
Howard enjoyed 12th base immeasurably - he was slightly concerned about what unlucky 13th base was - but he’d do it, because he loved Bernadette.
Loved her. That was new.
He sat up in bed. He’d actually used the word ”love” without the slightest hesitation. What could that mean? Were his feeling authentic? Nothing about Howard was authentic - right down to the height of five feet and six inches on his driver’s license.
He ran his hands over his black satin sheets. If he loved Bernadette, then the whole game changed. In fact, he couldn’t even call it a game anymore.
Droplets of sweat broke out under his arms. His whole life would have to change. He’d have to be committed to Bernadette and Bernadette only when there were so many luscious, voluptuous specimens of womanhood running, shopping, sunbathing their way through Pasadena.
And what about his carefree bachelor days? Comic book night? Halo? Howard would have to schedule time for Raj since he’d be busy with Bernadette, shopping for china patterns and new valances for the bathroom. He never had to do that before - there was always time for Raj - much like there was always room for Jell-o.
If Howard Wolowitz had to start living his life tied down to a schedule, then he might as well call himself Sheldon Cooper and take the gas pipe!
Wednesday
Penny/Sheldon -Leonard- Raj/Howard
‘Die!” Penny yelled, throwing a grenade at Raj’s tank. He exploded in a burst of red and yellow.
“Penny, use another grenade - quick!” Sheldon spoke in Penny’s ear.
“Thanks, sweetie - die!” She threw another grenade at Raj’s tank.
“No fair - you have to wait until he respawns!” Howard whined.
“There is no fair in Halo 3!” Sheldon triumphed as he found Howard hiding behind a rock and fired.
“Leonard - help!” Howard shouted.
Leonard took the controller.
“Oh sure - abandon me - like you always do.” Raj whispered into Howard’s ear. Penny shot at him relentlessly.
“Oh c’mon Raj, it was one lousy movie.” Howard pointed to the screen and watched as Raj died again.
“Hey, no dissension in the ranks - I’m getting slaughtered here!” Leonard said tersely. Sheldon was methodically and relentlessly hunting him down.
“It’s not just the movie! It’s all the time! You need to remember your friend too, Howard.” Raj whispered fiercely in his ear while trying to shoot at Penny - but she was too fast.
“I do! Here we are - hanging out - well, you’re getting slaughtered, but there’s no Bernadette here.” Howard said.
“Only because she’s working. How long will it be before you even give up Halo night?” Raj whispered so loudly, that even Penny overheard him.
“Raj - you and I will do something soon - just the two of us, ok? Now concentrate on the game!” Howard yelled, as Raj’s tank exploded once more.
“If you two need some BFF time, you can come with Sheldon and me out to dinner tomorrow night.” Penny said - feeling magnanimous after totally annihilating Raj.
Leonard paused the game. “You’re going out to dinner with Sheldon?
“Yes - it’s “Anything Can Happen Thursday” and Sheldon and I are having our BFF time too.” Penny said, motioning to Leonard to un-pause the game.
Satisfied with her answer, he did.
Only to have the game paused again by Sheldon. He turned to his team partner. “I’m sorry - what is a BFF?”
“A best friend forever!” Penny nudged his shoulder, then pointed at the television for now him to un-pause the game.
Sheldon felt his stomach take residence in the vicinity of his knees. She had accepted his invitation only as his friend. And now had invited along Wolowitz and Koothrapoli with them on their date. He distractedly un-paused the game.
Leonard threw a grenade at him and Sheldon exploded into pieces.
“Crap.”
Thursday
Penny/Sheldon - Raj/Howard
Raj was driving for the evening. Howard was sitting shotgun as they pulled up to in front of 2311 Los Robles.
Raj got out of the car. “I’ll go up and get them.”
“How are you going to tell Penny we’re here?” Howard grinned.
“I’ll get Sheldon first - he can tell her.” Raj grinned back. He practically danced up the stairs to 4A - happy with his BFF night.
He rapped on the door and Sheldon answered, in his shirt and tie, but rolling up another sleeve as he did.
“Raj” He greeted as he finished with his sleeve.
“Sheldon, c‘mon - get Penny and let’s go”
Sheldon left the door open and Raj wandered in while Sheldon was putting on his windbreaker. Leonard was sitting on the couch, remote in hand, with an episode of Babylon 5 on pause.
Sheldon, ready, jerked a thumb behind him, “On this, “Anything Can Happen Thursday,” Leonard is the one home alone. It make for a nice change of pace, doesn’t it?”
Leonard stuck a finger in the air behind him, but Raj and Sheldon had already closed the door.
Raj leaned against the elevator doors, as Sheldon approached Penny’s door.
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
Penny opened the door, and Sheldon’s breath actually stuck in his throat for a second. “Penny. You look--” His mind quickly went through a list of adjectives. Pretty. Beautiful. Amazing. Breathtaking. Choose one Shelly!
But the moment was lost as Penny patted his cheek, “Wack-a-doodle.” She sighed. Brilliant as he was, he couldn’t tell a girl he thought she looked pretty - which he did by the look in his eyes as he took in her silver dress and heels.
She walked over to Raj, who nervously waved at her, and took his arm, and they started down the stairs, with Sheldon following, shooting arrows in his mind at the back of Raj’s head.
Once down to the car, Sheldon had the urge to tell Wolowitz that he was in his spot - but thought better of it. Sitting next to Penny in the back seat might be the only time alone with her he had this evening. He folded himself behind Howard, where there would be the most space with Penny beside him, bringing with her the scent of strawberries and a smile. A wave of the feeling he had for her hit him, and Sheldon had to recite the decimals of pi in his head several times on the way to the restaurant.
+++++
The foursome arrived, and after checking their jackets, they were brought to their table right away. Sheldon, of course, had made a reservation, but it had been for two, and the hostess was scrambling for more chairs and silverware for the table. Sheldon had also requested a romantic atmosphere, appropriate according to the Cosmo he’d read, so their table was in a small alcove, away from the kitchen.
Sheldon could feel the cutaneous blood flow in his cheeks heightening as he pulled out Penny’s chair for her and sat down next to her. Howard noted Sheldon’s reaction, so he thought he’d have some fun, and pulled out the chair for Raj, who sat in it with a squeaky giggle - due to Penny’s proximity.
Raj whispered in Howard’s ear “Why do you think Sheldon brought us to such a nice, quiet restaurant?”
Howard rolled his eyes and hissed, “Have a drink and ask him yourself!” The waiter brought the cocktail menus, “I’ll drive back.”
Sheldon handed the menu to Penny to choose her drink. “Look at these cocktails.” Penny pointed to the listed ingredients to the Grasshopper. Sheldon draped his arm across the back of her chair to look. “I haven’t bartended often, but even I know not to use milk in a Grasshopper - it’s supposed to be cream. Raj, I wouldn’t order that if I were you.”
Raj shook his head, then gave a questioning shrug. Howard rolled his eyes again - the man had to learn sign language.
“Well, the Cosmopolitan looks good.” Penny held up the menu and pointed to the picture.”
Raj nodded and gave his double “thumbs up” sign.
When the waiter returned, Howard ordered a “sparkling water and a Cosmo” for himself and Raj.
“A glass of white wine please,” Penny ordered, and Sheldon gathered the menus to hand to the waiter, “and a Cuba Libre.” The waiter left.
Penny eyed Sheldon next to her, “Didn’t you mean a Virgin Cuba Libre?”
“No - I’m not driving.”
“God forbid!” Howard quipped.
Raj was practically vibrating next to him waiting for his drink to say something. Just as he was going to whisper in Howard’s ear again, their drinks arrived, with more menus for their dinner choices.
Raj gulped half of his Cosmo, “So, what is everyone ordering for dinner?”
“Yes, what does the great Sheldon Cooper eat on Thursdays?” Howard said, looking through the menu and eyeing the very un-Kosher steak.
“Well, I always have spaghetti at Penny’s” Sheldon said, closing the menu, “So I guess I’ll have that here - although it won’t be as good as hers.”
Penny grinned wide, and shut her menu as well, “I’ll have the same.”
Howard nodded, “Pasta does sound good.” and closed his.
Raj nodded, closing his menu, “As long as they have meatballs - I’m feeling naughty!”
+++++
With their dinners consumed, the drinks keep coming - for everyone but Howard.
Raj giggled, sipping his Cosmo, “Did you know Howard kissed me?”
Penny and Sheldon’s heads snapped to him in tandem, while Howard spat out his sparkling water. “No! It wasn’t like that! It was an accident!”
“How does one “accidentally” - Sheldon used finger quotes, “kiss one’s best friend?”
“Oh, I dunno” Penny poked Sheldon’s shoulder, “How does one “accidentally” - Penny used finger quotes too, “grope one’s best friend’s boob?”
Raj and Howard’s heads now snapped in tandem. Sheldon sputtered, “My eyes were closed! I had to get your top on!”
“Dude!” Raj nodded appreciatively.
“Wait, wait - you, Sheldon Cooper, felt up Penny?” Howard was stunned. “Naked?”!
“And, wait - you, Howard Wolowitz, kissed your male best friend!” Sheldon wanted to change the topic.
“It was kinda nice.” Raj said, downing the rest of his Cosmo.
Howard shot daggers at his friend, and he was using that term loosely about now, beside him.
Penny giggled. This was fun! She was only two glasses of wine in, and Sheldon was still nursing his second Cuba Libre (defiantly unVirgin, by his reddened cheeks), but she’d lost count of Raj’s Cosmos. “Well, if those were “accidents” - more finger quotes, “what about on purpose, Sheldon?”
Sheldon sipped more of his drink and looked away, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh don’t play coy, you know exactly what I mean - when you peeked at my naked ass and saw my tattoo!”
Howard and Raj snapped their necks again, glad for the focus off them.
“Dude you saw her ass?” Raj’s eyes were wide.
“Penny, you have a tattoo on your ass?” Howard’s eyes were wide too.
Sheldon didn’t think his face could feel any hotter, “It was when Penny fell in the shower and I took her to the hospital. And, in my defence--” He looked sideways at Penny, “the hero always peeks.”
Penny laughed and put her arm around his shoulders, “Well, the next time you need help, sweetie, I’m going to demand heroine‘s rights.” Sheldon ducked his head down, but grinned.
Howard shook his head, “Who would have thought that Sheldon Cooper was an ass man?”
Sheldon looked up, put up his fingers to his temples and tried to blow up Howard with his mind.
+++++
The restaurant’s photographer was making his rounds at the tables, and came to theirs.
“Oh, what an attractive couple,” he said to Penny and Sheldon, “a picture to remember this evening?”
“They aren’t--” Raj began.
But Sheldon only nodded. He put his arm on the back of Penny’s chair again and looked down at her, “You look stunning.” Sheldon said in her ear, finally finding an adjective worthy of her.
Penny’s eyes were wide, but smiling, when the photographer took their picture.
“And now for the other couple at the table.” The photographer turned to Raj and Howard.
“We most definitely aren’t--” Howard sputtered.
“Oh c’mon Howard,” Raj practically bounced in his seat, “one little picture.”
Howard sighed the sigh of the put-upon, but put his arm on the back of Raj’s chair.
Raj grinned widely for their picture.
“You can pick up your photos at the hostess’s table on your way out.” The photographer said, moving on to the next table.
+++++
Raj was practically dancing out of the restaurant, with Howard on his heels. “Thank Ganesh for Cosmos! I feel wonderful!”
“Well, at least you are a happy drunk on them.” Penny laughed. Her hand was on Sheldon’s elbow as they walked back to the car.
Howard herded Raj into the passenger seat, while Sheldon opened the backseat door for Penny.
Once they were on their way, Raj turned to Penny and Sheldon in the backseat, waving his picture, “Look! Aren’t Howard and I resplendent?”
They both nodded, to get Raj to turn around back in his seat. Penny touched her purse, where the picture of her and Sheldon was safe.
+++++
Penny waved as Howard and Raj drove off, and she and Sheldon went in their building and began their ascent up the stairs.
“That was an interesting evening.” Penny grinned.
“Indeed. I am beginning to think Dr. Hofstadter is correct about the nature of Howard and Raj’s relationship.”
Penny laughed, but stopped once she felt Sheldon’s hand at the small of her back as they climbed the remaining steps.
He only dropped it once they were at her door.
“Sheldon,” Penny said softly as she turned to him, “was this supposed to be a - date?’
Sheldon sighed, “Yes Penny - apparently I had not accounted for a fifth scenario.”
“A fifth scenario?’ Penny was almost afraid to ask.
“Yes. Prior to my coming to see you on Tuesday, I was working out possible reactions from you to my asking you for a date. I got to four, but hadn’t considered “accepts out of friendship and offers tea.””
Penny shook her head a bit, and smiled, “But Sheldon, you never said the word “date” when you asked me to dinner.”
Sheldon scanned Tuesday evening’s conversation in his mind. “You are correct. An oversight. Would it have made a difference in your answer?”
“Well it definitely would have made a difference in my expectations for the night - I sure as hell wouldn’t have invited Howard and Raj!” Penny laughed.
“You would have said yes?” Sheldon looked at her pointedly under his brows. He wanted to be sure.
“Yes, I would have said yes.” Penny patted his striped tie, and ran her fingers down the silk.
“That was scenario number four,” Sheldon breathed out, suddenly overwhelmed by that “Penny” feeling, as he was beginning to name it.
“What were scenarios one to three?”
“It doesn’t matter - they didn’t happen.”
“Sheldon, this was our first date then,” She stepped closer to him, “so you need to kiss me.”
Sheldon nodded, barely breathing, “It - is the social custom.” He took a step closer as well.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick?”
His hand began an upward climb to her hair, “At this juncture, Penny, I don’t care if I do.”
The End.
Prompt: S/P in a double date with Raj and Howard - except not everybody realizes that it is a date (you can choose who!)
By: trippy41
For: vvignettes
!a very merry saturnalia
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3, 647
I hope you like it!
Tuesday
Sheldon
Sheldon generally wasn’t a pacer - unless he was teasing Leonard about how the Flash would - yet here he was - pacing. Sheldon also wasn’t generally the nervous sort. What would Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper have to be nervous about? Yet here he was - nervously chewing his upper lip. And pacing.
In front of his own front door - and willing the doorknob to turn of its own volition so that he’d go into the hallway without much thought. But Sheldon thought too much - and in this instance, it could be a hindrance.
Sheldon scoffed at himself and grabbed the doorknob and twisted - what was he afraid of? Oh yes, five feet and seven inches of blonde mayhem. He let go of the doorknob. This was a bad idea.
He was going to ask Penny out. On a date.
He felt a wave of the same feeling that he now associated with her. Sheldon first thought of this feeling one night while she was sitting thigh to thigh with him on the couch. He thought that it was food poisoning from his Mee Krob. Sheldon had since, through scientific investigation, discovered that it was desire. Drat!
Sheldon again recited the different scenarios in his head that were recently on his whiteboard of her possible reactions to his asking her out.
1. She would laugh and shut the door in his face. (Number one as he thought it most likely).
2. She would laugh awkwardly - believing him to be telling a joke and spoiling the punch line. (Which, had been pointed out to him on many occasions, he often did)
3. She would laugh - not understand him - but invite him in for tea. (Or cocoa, as this was a month with an ‘R’ in it.)
Sheldon had noted when he was writing these scenarios on his board, that Penny laughed at him in all of them. Then there was the one scenario that kept him wanting to turn that knob.
4. Penny says yes.
Penny
Penny put on the kettle to boil for some tea - strange, since a glass of wine was usually her evening drink of choice (unless it was a bad evening - then she’d make friends with the Captain). She must be channelling Sheldon, because she’d had the thought to finally take her clean clothes out of the basket and put them away. It was Tuesday after all - they’d sat in the basket since Saturday.
Usually, Sheldon makes her put her clothes away before putting on their movie. This past Saturday, he’d been distracted - even forgetting that it was his week to choose. She wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth as she put on Nanny Diaries and thought “screw the clothes.”
Now she had a basket of wrinkles.
The teapot sounded like it was just about to start to whistle, when, like he’d heard it from his apartment came Sheldon. There was no point to opening the door yet.
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
Now, she could open the door. “Hi Sheldon. C’mon in, I was just making some tea.” She went to the kitchen.
He stood by the door unmoving - eyes wide. What had she done wrong now? “It’s herbal tea, Sheldon - come in and close the door!”
He did, and went to go sit down on her couch. Penny came over with their tea and sat beside him. “What’s up Moonpie?”
“Up? - Oh yes, why I’m here. Penny, do you know what this Thursday is?” Sheldon was rubbing his knees, but looking pointedly at her.
Penny got away with “Moonpie?” That was a first. “Of course! - “Anything Can Happen Thursday!”
And of course, she knew what that meant - that the other guys would go do anything they wanted - mostly non-Sheldon approved things, like going to bars to pick up women (or try to). And Sheldon would be left to her - as he didn’t really crave the alone time he said he always wanted.
“I think - I mean - I want us to have dinner together this Thursday.” Sheldon’s knee was shaking.
“Sweetie, we have dinner every Thursday.” Penny was even fond of spaghetti with hotdogs now. As gross as it had originally sounded, maybe Mary Cooper was on to something.
“Um, no. I mean go out for dinner,” Sheldon said, “at a restaurant.” He put both hands on the shaking knee.
“Sure. I mean, it’s “Anything Can Happen Thursday” right?
“Right.” Sheldon sat back, grinning, and seemed to relax for the first time since entering her apartment.
Raj
Raj closed Eclipse and sighed. Oh Bella, you will make such a beautiful bride, he sniffed. He put the book down, and picked up Twilight to begin again. In Raj’s universe, Breaking Dawn didn’t exist - because what was up with that shit?
Raj’s phone beeped. A text from Howard: Sorry-B. says 12th base is a go 2night so no movies. Maybe 2morrow-H.
Raj threw his phone down to the end of the couch with a growl - like it was his iPhone’s fault that Howard was a douche. Anyway, tomorrow was Halo night.
It’s not like Raj didn’t like Bernadette - he did. She was strange, quirky and funny. A lot like Howard actually.
What Raj didn’t like was to be ignored. While he liked Leonard, and even Sheldon, Howard was his best friend. Leonard and Sheldon had their own dynamic. They were roommates as well as friends - there was always someone to play Jenga or chess with. Then there was Penny, who was her own entity. He couldn’t even communicate with her unless he had a Grasshopper in his hand, or Howard nearby to translate for him.
Howard. Raj felt frustrated. Who else could he go and see Love and Other Drugs with? It was Anne Hathaway! Agent 99! The Princess! She was even hot as Jane Austen. Raj sighed. He couldn’t go alone - that was just sad.
Raj put down Twilight - all of the sudden not in the mood for any more angst.
Howard
Howard enjoyed 12th base immeasurably - he was slightly concerned about what unlucky 13th base was - but he’d do it, because he loved Bernadette.
Loved her. That was new.
He sat up in bed. He’d actually used the word ”love” without the slightest hesitation. What could that mean? Were his feeling authentic? Nothing about Howard was authentic - right down to the height of five feet and six inches on his driver’s license.
He ran his hands over his black satin sheets. If he loved Bernadette, then the whole game changed. In fact, he couldn’t even call it a game anymore.
Droplets of sweat broke out under his arms. His whole life would have to change. He’d have to be committed to Bernadette and Bernadette only when there were so many luscious, voluptuous specimens of womanhood running, shopping, sunbathing their way through Pasadena.
And what about his carefree bachelor days? Comic book night? Halo? Howard would have to schedule time for Raj since he’d be busy with Bernadette, shopping for china patterns and new valances for the bathroom. He never had to do that before - there was always time for Raj - much like there was always room for Jell-o.
If Howard Wolowitz had to start living his life tied down to a schedule, then he might as well call himself Sheldon Cooper and take the gas pipe!
Wednesday
Penny/Sheldon -Leonard- Raj/Howard
‘Die!” Penny yelled, throwing a grenade at Raj’s tank. He exploded in a burst of red and yellow.
“Penny, use another grenade - quick!” Sheldon spoke in Penny’s ear.
“Thanks, sweetie - die!” She threw another grenade at Raj’s tank.
“No fair - you have to wait until he respawns!” Howard whined.
“There is no fair in Halo 3!” Sheldon triumphed as he found Howard hiding behind a rock and fired.
“Leonard - help!” Howard shouted.
Leonard took the controller.
“Oh sure - abandon me - like you always do.” Raj whispered into Howard’s ear. Penny shot at him relentlessly.
“Oh c’mon Raj, it was one lousy movie.” Howard pointed to the screen and watched as Raj died again.
“Hey, no dissension in the ranks - I’m getting slaughtered here!” Leonard said tersely. Sheldon was methodically and relentlessly hunting him down.
“It’s not just the movie! It’s all the time! You need to remember your friend too, Howard.” Raj whispered fiercely in his ear while trying to shoot at Penny - but she was too fast.
“I do! Here we are - hanging out - well, you’re getting slaughtered, but there’s no Bernadette here.” Howard said.
“Only because she’s working. How long will it be before you even give up Halo night?” Raj whispered so loudly, that even Penny overheard him.
“Raj - you and I will do something soon - just the two of us, ok? Now concentrate on the game!” Howard yelled, as Raj’s tank exploded once more.
“If you two need some BFF time, you can come with Sheldon and me out to dinner tomorrow night.” Penny said - feeling magnanimous after totally annihilating Raj.
Leonard paused the game. “You’re going out to dinner with Sheldon?
“Yes - it’s “Anything Can Happen Thursday” and Sheldon and I are having our BFF time too.” Penny said, motioning to Leonard to un-pause the game.
Satisfied with her answer, he did.
Only to have the game paused again by Sheldon. He turned to his team partner. “I’m sorry - what is a BFF?”
“A best friend forever!” Penny nudged his shoulder, then pointed at the television for now him to un-pause the game.
Sheldon felt his stomach take residence in the vicinity of his knees. She had accepted his invitation only as his friend. And now had invited along Wolowitz and Koothrapoli with them on their date. He distractedly un-paused the game.
Leonard threw a grenade at him and Sheldon exploded into pieces.
“Crap.”
Thursday
Penny/Sheldon - Raj/Howard
Raj was driving for the evening. Howard was sitting shotgun as they pulled up to in front of 2311 Los Robles.
Raj got out of the car. “I’ll go up and get them.”
“How are you going to tell Penny we’re here?” Howard grinned.
“I’ll get Sheldon first - he can tell her.” Raj grinned back. He practically danced up the stairs to 4A - happy with his BFF night.
He rapped on the door and Sheldon answered, in his shirt and tie, but rolling up another sleeve as he did.
“Raj” He greeted as he finished with his sleeve.
“Sheldon, c‘mon - get Penny and let’s go”
Sheldon left the door open and Raj wandered in while Sheldon was putting on his windbreaker. Leonard was sitting on the couch, remote in hand, with an episode of Babylon 5 on pause.
Sheldon, ready, jerked a thumb behind him, “On this, “Anything Can Happen Thursday,” Leonard is the one home alone. It make for a nice change of pace, doesn’t it?”
Leonard stuck a finger in the air behind him, but Raj and Sheldon had already closed the door.
Raj leaned against the elevator doors, as Sheldon approached Penny’s door.
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
knock, knock, knock. “Penny”
Penny opened the door, and Sheldon’s breath actually stuck in his throat for a second. “Penny. You look--” His mind quickly went through a list of adjectives. Pretty. Beautiful. Amazing. Breathtaking. Choose one Shelly!
But the moment was lost as Penny patted his cheek, “Wack-a-doodle.” She sighed. Brilliant as he was, he couldn’t tell a girl he thought she looked pretty - which he did by the look in his eyes as he took in her silver dress and heels.
She walked over to Raj, who nervously waved at her, and took his arm, and they started down the stairs, with Sheldon following, shooting arrows in his mind at the back of Raj’s head.
Once down to the car, Sheldon had the urge to tell Wolowitz that he was in his spot - but thought better of it. Sitting next to Penny in the back seat might be the only time alone with her he had this evening. He folded himself behind Howard, where there would be the most space with Penny beside him, bringing with her the scent of strawberries and a smile. A wave of the feeling he had for her hit him, and Sheldon had to recite the decimals of pi in his head several times on the way to the restaurant.
+++++
The foursome arrived, and after checking their jackets, they were brought to their table right away. Sheldon, of course, had made a reservation, but it had been for two, and the hostess was scrambling for more chairs and silverware for the table. Sheldon had also requested a romantic atmosphere, appropriate according to the Cosmo he’d read, so their table was in a small alcove, away from the kitchen.
Sheldon could feel the cutaneous blood flow in his cheeks heightening as he pulled out Penny’s chair for her and sat down next to her. Howard noted Sheldon’s reaction, so he thought he’d have some fun, and pulled out the chair for Raj, who sat in it with a squeaky giggle - due to Penny’s proximity.
Raj whispered in Howard’s ear “Why do you think Sheldon brought us to such a nice, quiet restaurant?”
Howard rolled his eyes and hissed, “Have a drink and ask him yourself!” The waiter brought the cocktail menus, “I’ll drive back.”
Sheldon handed the menu to Penny to choose her drink. “Look at these cocktails.” Penny pointed to the listed ingredients to the Grasshopper. Sheldon draped his arm across the back of her chair to look. “I haven’t bartended often, but even I know not to use milk in a Grasshopper - it’s supposed to be cream. Raj, I wouldn’t order that if I were you.”
Raj shook his head, then gave a questioning shrug. Howard rolled his eyes again - the man had to learn sign language.
“Well, the Cosmopolitan looks good.” Penny held up the menu and pointed to the picture.”
Raj nodded and gave his double “thumbs up” sign.
When the waiter returned, Howard ordered a “sparkling water and a Cosmo” for himself and Raj.
“A glass of white wine please,” Penny ordered, and Sheldon gathered the menus to hand to the waiter, “and a Cuba Libre.” The waiter left.
Penny eyed Sheldon next to her, “Didn’t you mean a Virgin Cuba Libre?”
“No - I’m not driving.”
“God forbid!” Howard quipped.
Raj was practically vibrating next to him waiting for his drink to say something. Just as he was going to whisper in Howard’s ear again, their drinks arrived, with more menus for their dinner choices.
Raj gulped half of his Cosmo, “So, what is everyone ordering for dinner?”
“Yes, what does the great Sheldon Cooper eat on Thursdays?” Howard said, looking through the menu and eyeing the very un-Kosher steak.
“Well, I always have spaghetti at Penny’s” Sheldon said, closing the menu, “So I guess I’ll have that here - although it won’t be as good as hers.”
Penny grinned wide, and shut her menu as well, “I’ll have the same.”
Howard nodded, “Pasta does sound good.” and closed his.
Raj nodded, closing his menu, “As long as they have meatballs - I’m feeling naughty!”
+++++
With their dinners consumed, the drinks keep coming - for everyone but Howard.
Raj giggled, sipping his Cosmo, “Did you know Howard kissed me?”
Penny and Sheldon’s heads snapped to him in tandem, while Howard spat out his sparkling water. “No! It wasn’t like that! It was an accident!”
“How does one “accidentally” - Sheldon used finger quotes, “kiss one’s best friend?”
“Oh, I dunno” Penny poked Sheldon’s shoulder, “How does one “accidentally” - Penny used finger quotes too, “grope one’s best friend’s boob?”
Raj and Howard’s heads now snapped in tandem. Sheldon sputtered, “My eyes were closed! I had to get your top on!”
“Dude!” Raj nodded appreciatively.
“Wait, wait - you, Sheldon Cooper, felt up Penny?” Howard was stunned. “Naked?”!
“And, wait - you, Howard Wolowitz, kissed your male best friend!” Sheldon wanted to change the topic.
“It was kinda nice.” Raj said, downing the rest of his Cosmo.
Howard shot daggers at his friend, and he was using that term loosely about now, beside him.
Penny giggled. This was fun! She was only two glasses of wine in, and Sheldon was still nursing his second Cuba Libre (defiantly unVirgin, by his reddened cheeks), but she’d lost count of Raj’s Cosmos. “Well, if those were “accidents” - more finger quotes, “what about on purpose, Sheldon?”
Sheldon sipped more of his drink and looked away, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh don’t play coy, you know exactly what I mean - when you peeked at my naked ass and saw my tattoo!”
Howard and Raj snapped their necks again, glad for the focus off them.
“Dude you saw her ass?” Raj’s eyes were wide.
“Penny, you have a tattoo on your ass?” Howard’s eyes were wide too.
Sheldon didn’t think his face could feel any hotter, “It was when Penny fell in the shower and I took her to the hospital. And, in my defence--” He looked sideways at Penny, “the hero always peeks.”
Penny laughed and put her arm around his shoulders, “Well, the next time you need help, sweetie, I’m going to demand heroine‘s rights.” Sheldon ducked his head down, but grinned.
Howard shook his head, “Who would have thought that Sheldon Cooper was an ass man?”
Sheldon looked up, put up his fingers to his temples and tried to blow up Howard with his mind.
+++++
The restaurant’s photographer was making his rounds at the tables, and came to theirs.
“Oh, what an attractive couple,” he said to Penny and Sheldon, “a picture to remember this evening?”
“They aren’t--” Raj began.
But Sheldon only nodded. He put his arm on the back of Penny’s chair again and looked down at her, “You look stunning.” Sheldon said in her ear, finally finding an adjective worthy of her.
Penny’s eyes were wide, but smiling, when the photographer took their picture.
“And now for the other couple at the table.” The photographer turned to Raj and Howard.
“We most definitely aren’t--” Howard sputtered.
“Oh c’mon Howard,” Raj practically bounced in his seat, “one little picture.”
Howard sighed the sigh of the put-upon, but put his arm on the back of Raj’s chair.
Raj grinned widely for their picture.
“You can pick up your photos at the hostess’s table on your way out.” The photographer said, moving on to the next table.
+++++
Raj was practically dancing out of the restaurant, with Howard on his heels. “Thank Ganesh for Cosmos! I feel wonderful!”
“Well, at least you are a happy drunk on them.” Penny laughed. Her hand was on Sheldon’s elbow as they walked back to the car.
Howard herded Raj into the passenger seat, while Sheldon opened the backseat door for Penny.
Once they were on their way, Raj turned to Penny and Sheldon in the backseat, waving his picture, “Look! Aren’t Howard and I resplendent?”
They both nodded, to get Raj to turn around back in his seat. Penny touched her purse, where the picture of her and Sheldon was safe.
+++++
Penny waved as Howard and Raj drove off, and she and Sheldon went in their building and began their ascent up the stairs.
“That was an interesting evening.” Penny grinned.
“Indeed. I am beginning to think Dr. Hofstadter is correct about the nature of Howard and Raj’s relationship.”
Penny laughed, but stopped once she felt Sheldon’s hand at the small of her back as they climbed the remaining steps.
He only dropped it once they were at her door.
“Sheldon,” Penny said softly as she turned to him, “was this supposed to be a - date?’
Sheldon sighed, “Yes Penny - apparently I had not accounted for a fifth scenario.”
“A fifth scenario?’ Penny was almost afraid to ask.
“Yes. Prior to my coming to see you on Tuesday, I was working out possible reactions from you to my asking you for a date. I got to four, but hadn’t considered “accepts out of friendship and offers tea.””
Penny shook her head a bit, and smiled, “But Sheldon, you never said the word “date” when you asked me to dinner.”
Sheldon scanned Tuesday evening’s conversation in his mind. “You are correct. An oversight. Would it have made a difference in your answer?”
“Well it definitely would have made a difference in my expectations for the night - I sure as hell wouldn’t have invited Howard and Raj!” Penny laughed.
“You would have said yes?” Sheldon looked at her pointedly under his brows. He wanted to be sure.
“Yes, I would have said yes.” Penny patted his striped tie, and ran her fingers down the silk.
“That was scenario number four,” Sheldon breathed out, suddenly overwhelmed by that “Penny” feeling, as he was beginning to name it.
“What were scenarios one to three?”
“It doesn’t matter - they didn’t happen.”
“Sheldon, this was our first date then,” She stepped closer to him, “so you need to kiss me.”
Sheldon nodded, barely breathing, “It - is the social custom.” He took a step closer as well.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick?”
His hand began an upward climb to her hair, “At this juncture, Penny, I don’t care if I do.”
The End.
Prompt: S/P in a double date with Raj and Howard - except not everybody realizes that it is a date (you can choose who!)