Fic: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (6/6)
Aight. Here it is - the conclusion. Sorry it has taken so long but real life got in the way. Work has been tough and stressful and I’m losing my mind and Paradox helps me cling to my sanity. So thanks everyone - I Y you all. The latest photos are made of pure WIN! Hope you like this chapter and as always: comments mean you Y me too. And boy, do I need a little Y in my life right now. Great, eww, I’m starting to sound all whiny like Leonard. This chappy is a little more suggestive, so note the rating change. Enjoy!
Follow the link for the previous parts if you missed any:
http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/tag/.author:+qblackheart
Title: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (6/6)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,071
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine... I only stake my claim on the plot... and maybe Sheldon, if I can get him.
Part Six
Leonard threw open the door to his apartment and stood on the threshold for a second before stalking in to stare at his roommate and best friend.
Or former roommate and best friend, the way he was feeling.
Sheldon sat in his spot, ramrod straight, both hands on his knees as he looked up Leonard. Raj and Howard - who had found him pacing in the parking lot trying to make some sort of sense of what he had seen - Sheldon and Penny kissing? Good grief! - had dragged him back to the apartment. Now they stood in the open doorway, clearly not wanting to intrude, but ready to mediate if necessary.
Whether on his side or Sheldon’s, Leonard couldn’t speculate.
He paced agitatedly between the kitchen and the living room a couple of times, trying to gather his thoughts, before turning on Sheldon.
“How could you?” He asked in umbrage. “How could you do this to me? How could you do this period?” He raked a hand through his hair in frustration, and huffed out a breath as he ambled towards the kitchen and back again, getting angrier and more frustrated with every step. “You’re not even supposed to have feelings, dammit!”
“I refuse to dignify that with a response, other than to say that technically, Leonard - this is all your fault.”
“What?” He sputtered. It was a typically Sheldonesque response - except for once, it didn’t make any sense.
“You were the one who insisted on going over and saying hello when she moved in next door.”
“Are you kidding me?” His voice pitched high in outrage. He had never been so tempted to pummel Sheldon in all their years living together and now it was twice in one day.
And counting.
“I was perfectly content with my life, Leonard - until that day,” Sheldon stared into space but his mind was obviously traversing through time to the day Penny walked into their lives and changed everything.
He stood abruptly.
“I... I didn’t know...” he paused and drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t know what was happening to me at first. I mean, it was always there, like a seed in the back of my mind: embedded, germinating, roots spreading since that first day. Realization came when I went home last summer. Do you remember?” The question was directed at Leonard, but Sheldon didn’t wait for a response. “I missed her. I missed Penny. At first, I thought I was coming down with the swine flu - that was the summer of H1N1, you know - but then Mom explained it all to me... well, after my third visit to Galveston Memorial - nothing was physiologically wrong with me - it’s just that I was pining... for Penny,” Sheldon ended on a sigh, as Leonard listened in shock. “The confusion, the distress, the sheer... inconvenience of it all... it was... overwhelming.”
Sheldon clasped his hands behind his back and meandered towards the bookcase behind the couch, blinking distractedly as he obviously tried to sort out the words he wanted to say.
“It was a real blow, Leonard,” he said. “I refused to accept it. I refused to believe it!” He reached out with both hands and gripped the bookshelf. “But the more I tried not to think of her - the more I thought of her. I’m always thinking about her. There - at the back of my mind - in some small way. And you know what I discovered? You know that look of hers...” he turned to face Leonard, wide-eyed fascination on his face, “the one she gives you when she’s annoyed at something you did or said? It’s part snide, part sarcastic, where it seems she’ll resort to physical violence at any given moment?” He waited until Leonard nodded hesitantly. “That’s my favourite look. It’s nonsensical, isn’t it? Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t love her smiles and her laughter and her teasing... it’s not one thing - it’s everything about her. Happy, sad, high, low, good, bad - everything! I crave her company. It was absurd then - it’s still absurd sometimes. But this past year has been... a revelation.”
Sheldon’s look of wonderment, unbelievable as it was - shocking as it was - was something Leonard could relate to. Each word out of Sheldon’s mouth began to chisel away at his anger - and as Leonard tried desperately to hold onto his the last vestiges of his righteous indignation - Sheldon just kept talking.
“A revelation. She’s taught me how to be a better person. A better friend. Have you not commented on it yourself? She’s changed me... she’s made me... evolve.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you kissed her when you know she’s mine!” Leonard exclaimed, albeit irrationally, his tone whiny but he chose to ignore it. Sheldon, however, didn’t take too kindly to the comment.
“Yours?” He glared at Leonard. “Are you implying that she’s your chattel?”
“Well, no...”
“Good. Because I would take issue with that. Penny is the most free-spirited person I know. And she’s a human being... not property!”
“I didn’t mean it that way...” Leonard tried to interject but Sheldon silenced him with a raised hand and resolve etched into every facet of his face.
“To be fair, Leonard - you’ve had your chance. In fact, over the past four years, you’ve had multiple chances to win Penny’s heart. I never said, nor was I tempted to do, anything about my... my feelings for Penny - and contrary to popular belief, Leonard, I am capable of having feelings - but I never said anything because I knew it might cause a rift between us. And I value your friendship too much to jeopardize it. And frankly, I never thought Penny would reciprocate my feelings even one iota.” He ran a hand over his face as he sighed in frustration. “But then Cass said something to me while we were at the fundraiser last night. She likened garnering research funding to a battle - a war, if you will - and she said we need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to succeed. She made the comment about all being fair in love and war. She was trying to justify getting me to make small-talk with the mediocre minds at the party but all I could think about was in the context of winning over Penny - all really is fair in love and war. And you’ve had your chance. And Penny told me that this time it was over between the two of you for good. And so I thought that maybe now - this is my chance,” he paused to inhale deeply. “So I took it.”
“So you’re testing her out? Like a new car?” Leonard bristled, especially since he had seen the passionate results of Sheldon’s taking chances not too long ago. Had he and Penny ever shared that kind of passion? While sober? The thought helped him get a firmer grip on his anger. “May I remind you that you can’t drive. You can’t even get through a simulation without crashing and burning. What makes you think you can do this? And with Penny?”
“Leonard - chill, dude,” Raj interjected, his voice harder than Leonard had ever heard it, but he ignored him.
“I got through today just fine,” Sheldon answered with quiet confidence, his fingers unconsciously skimming over his mouth. “I’ll cross each bridge as I come to it.”
“Screw your damn bridges! What about my feelings for Penny?”
“What about your feelings for Penny?” Sheldon raised his voice for the first time. “You’ve never really spoken of them. Do you like her a lot? Do you merely think she’s beautiful and will make you look good - is she “arm candy”? Are you just interested for the smart and beautiful children you were hoping to have? Or,” his voice lowered as his clear blue eyes trapped Leonard in his sight. “...do you love her?”
Leonard blustered, his face going red, as he tried to articulate an answer... only to find, that he couldn’t say it. So he took the coward’s way out.
“Do you?”
Sheldon took a deep breath. “I... I thought she may be amenable to embarking on a new relationship paradigm with me.”
Leonard breathed a sigh of relief that Sheldon couldn’t say the words either. It made him smug.
“And what made you think that, Sheldon? Your brilliant powers of observation of human behaviour or your in-depth knowledge of the psyche of women?”
“Penny,” Sheldon met his gaze with unwavering self-assurance. “Or rather her answer to the essay question on my friendship questionnaire.” He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out an oft-folded piece of paper. He looked at it for a second before walking around the couch and holding it out to Leonard. “Go ahead - read it.”
Leonard snatched it out of his hand, a scathing retort dying on his lips as he quickly scanned the contents of the page of tiny, messy writing that was distinctively Penny’s. Then he looked up at Sheldon in astonishment. He read the page again - this time carefully reading between the lines - his heart heavy, his mind reeling. Sheldon stuffed his hands into his pockets and waited.
“I wonder what it says?” Howard mused from the doorway just as Leonard stared at Sheldon, completely dumbfounded.
“Something epic from the look of it,” Raj hypothesized.
“You were not the only one affected by Penny that first day, Leonard,” Sheldon stated quietly. “From the first time she smiled at me, she tugged at my heart. I tried to ignore it. Then I tried to fight it. It’s been a losing battle,” he sighed and suddenly, in that moment, as Leonard looked into Sheldon’s eyes, he felt like he was seeing - for the first time - the heart of the man before him. “So the answer to your question is yes: I do love Penny. I always have.”
“Oh, Sheldon.”
Both Leonard and Sheldon spun towards the open doorway, startled to see Penny standing behind Howard and Raj - and judging by the looks on their faces, they looked just as surprised to see her standing there.
But none of that mattered apparently, Leonard thought as he watched Penny stare at Sheldon in wonder, tears pooling in her eyes. She moved slowly, but with single-minded purpose, passing in between Howard and Raj and right past him before coming to a stop less than a foot away from Sheldon. Her hand reached up to touch Sheldon’s face, as if in slow motion, as if she was afraid that if she moved too quickly - he might disappear, or run.
And Leonard was suddenly struck by the thought that was she had never looked at him that way.
Sheldon leaned into her touch on his cheek as his hand reached out to grasp her other hand, their fingers intertwining like it was the most natural thing in the world. Penny smiled up at him, and he smiled down at her.
As Howard and Raj came to stand on either side of Leonard, they realized as one that they were somehow witnessing what bordered on a truly magical moment.
“I don’t know how much you heard, Penny,” Sheldon whispered. “But I meant what I said. I love you.”
“That’s all I needed to hear, Sheldon. I love you too!” The words tumbled from her lips on a sob and a laugh. “I think I’ve loved you for a very long time. It’s just that I... I didn’t think you would... I mean, I never thought you would ever be interested. In me! Oh my God - I never thought you could ever feel the same - oh - I love you too!”
And then she kissed him.
Howard and Raj sighed, almost identical sappy smiles on both their faces. Leonard was hard-pressed not to follow suit. His anger effectively evaporated.
He had never stood a chance, he thought, completely deflated, as he watched the couple pull apart from each other for about a second - love and happiness shining in their faces - before Sheldon enveloped Penny in a hug that almost lifted her off the ground, his face buried in her hair, her arms tight around his neck.
They looked like they never wanted to let go of one another.
Leonard sighed; perhaps he had been the one fighting a losing battle all these years - trying to make something meaningful out of nothing consequential.
For deep in his heart, Leonard had always known that for Penny, Sheldon had always been the special one.
Sure, he had delighted in their fights and lamented when they made up, their relationship somehow strengthening with each discordant battle of wills. He had stood jealously by when Penny had increasingly sought out Sheldon’s help, or Sheldon’s advice, or Sheldon’s opinion and not his. He had fumed over the things they shared in common - like things common to their upbringing - that he could never share. And he had absolutely hated that their relationship was so seamless and effortless, whereas he had to work so hard for every little victory where she was concerned - unless of course, Sheldon’s voice echoed inside his head, alcohol and poor judgement were involved.
He smirked self-pityingly.
In all honesty, he had to admit, that he had also borne witness to their affection and respect and trust and admiration for one another growing and flourishing over the years. Could the same be said of his own relationship with Penny? Even though they had actually progressed beyond friendship and dated sporadically over the years? He thought not. And since he was being honest with himself, he realized that he didn’t want to expend an ounce more energy on being miserable over Penny any more.
Enough.
No emo music, no cats.
It was time to move on.
After all, who was he to stand in the way of true love?
He walked up to Sheldon and Penny and wrapped his arms around both of them. They cast startled glances at him but he smiled and shrugged haplessly.
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good romance,” he quipped.
Penny grinned at him and Sheldon - smiled. It was honest, it was grateful and it convinced Leonard that he was doing the right thing.
“I’m sorry, Sheldon - and you too, Penny. I guess... No, I know I’m happy for you guys... but it’s going to take some getting used to. So I might need some time.” Leonard shot them a sheepish look and Penny smiled at him.
“Thanks, Leonard. You’re a good friend,” she said as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Yes, thank you, Leonard,” Sheldon said quietly. And kissed his other cheek.
Leonard chuckled and hugged them again.
“Aww - group hug!” Howard yelled and he and Raj stepped into the circle.
“Howard - that better not be your hand on my behind,” Penny warned menacingly. Sheldon glared at him.
“What? It was an accident!”
“Raj - is that your hand on my behind?” Sheldon turned the death glare on Raj, who grinned and shrugged.
Leonard laughed. “Ah man - I love you guys!”
“Mazel tov!” Howard cried out, inordinately thrilled at the turn of events. He released his friends and stepped away from the group, silently beckoning to Raj as he went.
“You owe me a twenty.”
Raj huffed out a breath but gamely took out his wallet and handed Howard a twenty dollar bill.
“Say it.” Howard smiled slyly at him. “That’s part of the wager, my desi brotha from anotha motha.”
Raj sighed. “The UST between our OTP on the Sheldon and Penny Show became canon this week - like you said it would, and not next week, like I said it would. You were right, and I was wrong. Happy now?”
Howard looked back at Sheldon and Penny - still holding hands and talking to Leonard. He grinned.
“Actually, yeah, buddy. Real happy. You?” He looked over to see Raj watching the newly minted couple.
“Ecstatic, dude.” Raj beamed. “Ecstatic.” He looked back at his partner-in-crime. “Now when is it our turn?”
“I’ve got a little somethin’-somethin’ in the works,” Howard smirked. “You are on your own.”
***
Later that night...
“Well?” Penny huffed and tried not to tap her foot impatiently.
“I’m still thinking.”
“Sheldon, honey - this isn’t rocket, I mean stringy - science. Just do it.”
“I have to carefully analyse the pros and cons of this move, Penny. It’s a monumental decision and one not to be taken lightly. I can’t just re-organize my life on a whim.”
“Sheldon. It’s been a long day - it’s been emotional and uplifting and draining and wonderful and possibly the best day of my life so far - so please, don’t make me hurt you.”
Sheldon sputtered in indignation, but then he turned to look at the one and only love of his life. Her wry smirk took any sting out of her words. He couldn’t help but lean down and press a soft kiss on her lips.
But of course it didn’t stop there. Not with his big ol’ five. She grabbed his face and pressed three kisses on his lips in quick succession, each one a little longer, deeper, and more wondrous than the first.
They were both breathless by the time she was done.
“Plenty more where that came from, moonpie,” Penny murmured huskily.
“Fine,” he huffed in mock annoyance. “I’ll take the luminous fish side.”
“Excellent choice,” Penny congratulated him as she took his hand and dragged him further into his bedroom before coming to a stop by his bed, with him colliding into her.
His arms wound around her body from behind, his long, lean body pressing into hers, the motions natural, never forced any more. He buried his face in her hair - he loved doing that, she was learning.
“Actually - I find myself not caring about sides so much, as long as you are next to me,” he whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver. It may have just been the sexiest thing Sheldon Cooper could have told her at that moment. He trailed a series of soft kisses from her ear down the side of her jaw.
She turned into him, and he covered her mouth with his, the kiss languid as he explored her mouth with his tongue, causing her to moan and press her body impossibly closer to his. He pulled back, his mouth meandering off to explore her throat, and the side of her neck. Her arms curled around his shoulders, her fingers dragging through his perfectly combed hair, leaving it spiky - making him look sexy and tousled - like he had just gotten out of bed after a night with her in it. She smiled at the sight, her heart swelling with love and desire and the knowledge that this was her man.
“You know,” he murmured as his tongue flicked out to lick her earlobe, causing her to gasp uncontrollably. He did it again - momentarily distracted by her response - and it elicited the same reaction. She felt his smile as his lips skimmed over her ear; she could almost see her reaction being filed away somewhere in his head, ready to be used again if need be. “You know,” he started again, “I think I finally understand your shared bedroom corollary.”
“My... wait, what?” She asked breathlessly, his voice in her ear sending delicious little sparks of current down her spine. He pulled up to look at her.
“Your insistence on not having separate bedrooms after we’re married. I get it. I couldn’t not have you by my side - especially now that I know what having you in my arms feels like,” he gave her a small smile as his bright eyes honed in on hers. “Is it all right to feel as if I never want to let you go?”
Penny, who was still reeling from his first words - after we’re married - which seem to have been said without conscious thought, said: “It’s fine. In fact - it’s encouraged. I don’t ever want to let you go either.” She took a deep breath and took the plunge. “And after we’re married, I’ll make sure you still get a room all to yourself. It can be your personal little fortress of solitude. Even I won’t come in there.”
His eyes blazed into hers, and she suddenly remembered that nothing this man said or did was without thought. There was time for the words later, she realized. He was just putting out feelers - testing, assessing, observing. She had a sudden flashback to a certain proposal in the park that they had recently witnessed. She recalled his questions and interest at the time, and knew that her answers had been filed away somewhere in his memory banks.
And knowing Sheldon, his proposal would be perfect. And she could hardly wait.
“I would not bar you from my Superman ice thingie,” Sheldon quipped, his hand caressing her cheek, and Penny grinned up at him. “You would be welcome into every little corner of my life. Just don’t touch my mint-condition comics.”
“Deal. Can we get back to the making out part now?”
“Deals are traditionally sealed with handshakes,” his mouth dipped to hers. “Or kisses.”
“Kisses, definitely kisses.”
“Deal.” And so he kissed her - sealing their first of a long line of deals and compromises that they would make in their lives together - and slowly edged her closer to the bed, his hand reaching behind her until it found the zip to her dress.
She loved that he stopped and looked to her for permission. She nodded her consent before enveloping his lower lip in her mouth, nibbling, sucking, licking. His hand inched the zipper down, one of his fingers trailing along her spine as he went, and the soft caress was nearly her undoing. Suddenly, she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Sheldon?”
“Mmm?” He mumbled as he pushed the straps of her dress down her shoulders. The dress snagged on her breasts; not revealing them but the sight tempting him anyway, his gaze was riveted to her chest in fascination.
And then suddenly, she realized - maybe she could wait. There was something to be said about his unhurried exploration of her body. This slow burn of passion was something new for her too. It was heady and... addicitive.
And as his head bent down and his warm mouth ghosted kisses over the tops of her breasts, she decided, she would let Sheldon have his way with her.
This time.
Next time - she would teach him a thing or two or ten.
And then they somehow tumbled onto the bed together, and - for the first time ever in Sheldon Cooper’s bedroom - all thinking was put aside, and feelings reigned supreme.
***
Much later that night, somewhere in a house in suburban Pasadena...
“Howard?” The current Mrs. Wolowitz yelled.
“Yeah, ma?” Howard yelled back.
“I’m going out to play canasta with Marge,” she informed him. “Are you coming with?”
“No, ma!”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. You know how much the girls like having you around.”
“I’ve got company, ma!”
“Oh,” came the response. Howard could almost hear the wheels turning in his mother’s head. “Is she Jewish?”
“Are you Jewish?” Howard enquired of his bed-mate. She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but grin at her. God - he was a lucky, lucky man.
“With a name like Cassandra Kildare? I think not,” she quipped, a saucy smile on her face.
“Yeah, she’s Jewish!” He yelled back at his mother.
“Okay - you kids have fun. And use protection! Bye!”
And that, kids, was the night Howard Wolowitz got his groove back.
***
Describe and discuss your current relationship paradigm with Sheldon Cooper, PhD. Explain, in point form, and using specific examples, why you should be allowed to remain in his social circle.
Additional pages may be used if required. Marks will be deducted for errors in spelling and syntax. And this is just for Penny: no emoticons or hearts. This question is worth 20% of the overall evaluation.
Dear Dr. Whack-a-Doodle,
I can’t believe you’re making me do this test again.
The first time was bad enough. Although you never did tell me why you chose me over Raj when I know he must have scored higher than me. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m bothering with this test in the first place coz I can’t help feeling that somehow - Cass is in and I’m out! I’m totally the weakest link in your social circle, right? It makes me nauseous.
I mean - nauseated.
And before you can have a coronary - I know how to spell ‘because’ - I just did that to annoy you ;o)
Also, the rest of this questionnaire is blank because:
1: I’ve been so busy and tired this week and I forgot to fill this out - all right, I didn’t forget - I was just trying to put this off for as long as I could.
2: I did not want to ask Leonard for help this time.
3: I’m just so mad that you would make me do this again!
Me!
I thought our friendship evolved beyond this, Sheldon.
To me (and I don’t know how or when or why - actually I used to wonder why multiple times on a daily basis - but now I’ve come to accept and appreciate it) - to me, Sheldon, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.
Yeah. I know right? Go figure, brainiac.
And I wasn’t kidding when I said I love you, moonpie. I love talking to you - and even though you were a lousy listener when I first met you, now you’re a sweetheart. An annoying sweetheart - but still a sweetheart.
I’d like to think I had something to do with that. Oh, who am I kidding? I had everything to do with the civilization of Sheldon Cooper. Go ahead - try and deny it. Can’t do it, can you? So yeah - I guess I’m responsible for fine-tuning your social skills - at least where I’m concerned. And really, who else matters, right? :o)
I also love listening to you (cue gasp of shock). Your words, your voice - it has a weird calming effect on me when you babble on about science, or the way the universe works, or whatever. I mean Schroedinger’s cat-in-a-box thingie? Did I spell Schroedinger right? I’m too tired to go turn on my laptop and google it - so just let it go this time, all right? And going to the museum or the planetarium or the aquarium or the zoo with you is awesome. I have a whole new appreciation for... knowledge.
But that’s not all. I mean, sometimes I hear your voice inside my head. Usually just before I’m about to do something not-so-smart. I used to hate that. Now - I find I don’t mind so much. You’re like my conscience or something. And you know what? I think that I listen to your voice in my head and it’s made me - especially over the past couple of years - make smarter choices.
So don’t think that you’re the only one who’s changed. I think I’ve grown and become a better person because of you. You’ve never made me feel like less of a person just because I’m not like you, you know? I mean, I know I’m not a brilliant scientist but I don’t think I’m stupid either. You used to point out my ignorance at every opportunity before but you also took the time to explain things to me. I don’t think you were ever intentionally rude but then again - I gave as good (or better) as I got, so in the long run, I guess that makes us even.
I was really hurt when you implied that I could lose your friendship if you decide you want Cass in your life. I hope that’s not the case, Sheldon, because:
1: I need you in my life.
2: I would really miss you.
3: It would break my heart.
I know Cass is everything I’m not. She’s beautiful, smart, a scientist - she’s pretty damn near perfect. And she even looks a little like me - have you noticed? Blonde hair, green eyes? Maybe, you’d never even notice my absence if you pick her over me. And to top it all off, she’s all sophisticated and elegant too. A real city girl - whereas I have the Midwest in my DNA.
Yeah, my DNA. I said it. See how much you’re rubbing off on me?
Oh yeah, and Cass makes you laugh.
I don’t know what else to say after that.
Just remember, Sheldon - we have history. You can’t just discount that. We know each other on so many levels, you know? You can’t get that with just anyone. You know my family, I know yours. I know your crazy ways, you know mine. You’ve put up with a lot of my crap over the years and I’ve put up with a lot of yours (panty piñata, anyone?). And may I ask you: would Cass ever give you Leonard Nimoy’s DNA?
All right, I didn’t know I was giving you his DNA at the time, but I got you his autograph, right?
So before you make your final decision, I want you to really, really think about this:
1: Don’t you need me in your life?
2: Wouldn’t you miss me?
3: Will it not break your heart to lose me?
You know me - I have my pride, and I not the kind of person who will beg for anything. I think I’m too stubborn to do that. But this is important, so here goes nothing.
I’m begging you, Sheldon. Please don’t throw our friendship away. What we have - friendship doesn’t even begin to describe it - but please, please cherish it the way I cherish it.
I can’t believe you would do something so cold-hearted but then again... I’ve seen you with Cass - and I will admit that it scares me.
I guess... I’m jealous of her.
I guess, I’m possessive of you.
Fight for us, Sheldon.
Fight all your insecurities and doubts and listen to your heart and not your head just this once.
Fight for me.
Because, all you have to do is say the word and... I’m yours.
Actually, I’m yours already.
I love you, Sheldon.
Penny Y
P.S. If you decide to keep me and then later on if you ever make me fill out one of these forms again - screw junior rodeo - I’m gonna go senior circuit on your ass - spelling and syntax be damned.
***
Follow the link for the previous parts if you missed any:
http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/tag/.author:+qblackheart
Title: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (6/6)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,071
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine... I only stake my claim on the plot... and maybe Sheldon, if I can get him.
Part Six
Leonard threw open the door to his apartment and stood on the threshold for a second before stalking in to stare at his roommate and best friend.
Or former roommate and best friend, the way he was feeling.
Sheldon sat in his spot, ramrod straight, both hands on his knees as he looked up Leonard. Raj and Howard - who had found him pacing in the parking lot trying to make some sort of sense of what he had seen - Sheldon and Penny kissing? Good grief! - had dragged him back to the apartment. Now they stood in the open doorway, clearly not wanting to intrude, but ready to mediate if necessary.
Whether on his side or Sheldon’s, Leonard couldn’t speculate.
He paced agitatedly between the kitchen and the living room a couple of times, trying to gather his thoughts, before turning on Sheldon.
“How could you?” He asked in umbrage. “How could you do this to me? How could you do this period?” He raked a hand through his hair in frustration, and huffed out a breath as he ambled towards the kitchen and back again, getting angrier and more frustrated with every step. “You’re not even supposed to have feelings, dammit!”
“I refuse to dignify that with a response, other than to say that technically, Leonard - this is all your fault.”
“What?” He sputtered. It was a typically Sheldonesque response - except for once, it didn’t make any sense.
“You were the one who insisted on going over and saying hello when she moved in next door.”
“Are you kidding me?” His voice pitched high in outrage. He had never been so tempted to pummel Sheldon in all their years living together and now it was twice in one day.
And counting.
“I was perfectly content with my life, Leonard - until that day,” Sheldon stared into space but his mind was obviously traversing through time to the day Penny walked into their lives and changed everything.
He stood abruptly.
“I... I didn’t know...” he paused and drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t know what was happening to me at first. I mean, it was always there, like a seed in the back of my mind: embedded, germinating, roots spreading since that first day. Realization came when I went home last summer. Do you remember?” The question was directed at Leonard, but Sheldon didn’t wait for a response. “I missed her. I missed Penny. At first, I thought I was coming down with the swine flu - that was the summer of H1N1, you know - but then Mom explained it all to me... well, after my third visit to Galveston Memorial - nothing was physiologically wrong with me - it’s just that I was pining... for Penny,” Sheldon ended on a sigh, as Leonard listened in shock. “The confusion, the distress, the sheer... inconvenience of it all... it was... overwhelming.”
Sheldon clasped his hands behind his back and meandered towards the bookcase behind the couch, blinking distractedly as he obviously tried to sort out the words he wanted to say.
“It was a real blow, Leonard,” he said. “I refused to accept it. I refused to believe it!” He reached out with both hands and gripped the bookshelf. “But the more I tried not to think of her - the more I thought of her. I’m always thinking about her. There - at the back of my mind - in some small way. And you know what I discovered? You know that look of hers...” he turned to face Leonard, wide-eyed fascination on his face, “the one she gives you when she’s annoyed at something you did or said? It’s part snide, part sarcastic, where it seems she’ll resort to physical violence at any given moment?” He waited until Leonard nodded hesitantly. “That’s my favourite look. It’s nonsensical, isn’t it? Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t love her smiles and her laughter and her teasing... it’s not one thing - it’s everything about her. Happy, sad, high, low, good, bad - everything! I crave her company. It was absurd then - it’s still absurd sometimes. But this past year has been... a revelation.”
Sheldon’s look of wonderment, unbelievable as it was - shocking as it was - was something Leonard could relate to. Each word out of Sheldon’s mouth began to chisel away at his anger - and as Leonard tried desperately to hold onto his the last vestiges of his righteous indignation - Sheldon just kept talking.
“A revelation. She’s taught me how to be a better person. A better friend. Have you not commented on it yourself? She’s changed me... she’s made me... evolve.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you kissed her when you know she’s mine!” Leonard exclaimed, albeit irrationally, his tone whiny but he chose to ignore it. Sheldon, however, didn’t take too kindly to the comment.
“Yours?” He glared at Leonard. “Are you implying that she’s your chattel?”
“Well, no...”
“Good. Because I would take issue with that. Penny is the most free-spirited person I know. And she’s a human being... not property!”
“I didn’t mean it that way...” Leonard tried to interject but Sheldon silenced him with a raised hand and resolve etched into every facet of his face.
“To be fair, Leonard - you’ve had your chance. In fact, over the past four years, you’ve had multiple chances to win Penny’s heart. I never said, nor was I tempted to do, anything about my... my feelings for Penny - and contrary to popular belief, Leonard, I am capable of having feelings - but I never said anything because I knew it might cause a rift between us. And I value your friendship too much to jeopardize it. And frankly, I never thought Penny would reciprocate my feelings even one iota.” He ran a hand over his face as he sighed in frustration. “But then Cass said something to me while we were at the fundraiser last night. She likened garnering research funding to a battle - a war, if you will - and she said we need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to succeed. She made the comment about all being fair in love and war. She was trying to justify getting me to make small-talk with the mediocre minds at the party but all I could think about was in the context of winning over Penny - all really is fair in love and war. And you’ve had your chance. And Penny told me that this time it was over between the two of you for good. And so I thought that maybe now - this is my chance,” he paused to inhale deeply. “So I took it.”
“So you’re testing her out? Like a new car?” Leonard bristled, especially since he had seen the passionate results of Sheldon’s taking chances not too long ago. Had he and Penny ever shared that kind of passion? While sober? The thought helped him get a firmer grip on his anger. “May I remind you that you can’t drive. You can’t even get through a simulation without crashing and burning. What makes you think you can do this? And with Penny?”
“Leonard - chill, dude,” Raj interjected, his voice harder than Leonard had ever heard it, but he ignored him.
“I got through today just fine,” Sheldon answered with quiet confidence, his fingers unconsciously skimming over his mouth. “I’ll cross each bridge as I come to it.”
“Screw your damn bridges! What about my feelings for Penny?”
“What about your feelings for Penny?” Sheldon raised his voice for the first time. “You’ve never really spoken of them. Do you like her a lot? Do you merely think she’s beautiful and will make you look good - is she “arm candy”? Are you just interested for the smart and beautiful children you were hoping to have? Or,” his voice lowered as his clear blue eyes trapped Leonard in his sight. “...do you love her?”
Leonard blustered, his face going red, as he tried to articulate an answer... only to find, that he couldn’t say it. So he took the coward’s way out.
“Do you?”
Sheldon took a deep breath. “I... I thought she may be amenable to embarking on a new relationship paradigm with me.”
Leonard breathed a sigh of relief that Sheldon couldn’t say the words either. It made him smug.
“And what made you think that, Sheldon? Your brilliant powers of observation of human behaviour or your in-depth knowledge of the psyche of women?”
“Penny,” Sheldon met his gaze with unwavering self-assurance. “Or rather her answer to the essay question on my friendship questionnaire.” He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out an oft-folded piece of paper. He looked at it for a second before walking around the couch and holding it out to Leonard. “Go ahead - read it.”
Leonard snatched it out of his hand, a scathing retort dying on his lips as he quickly scanned the contents of the page of tiny, messy writing that was distinctively Penny’s. Then he looked up at Sheldon in astonishment. He read the page again - this time carefully reading between the lines - his heart heavy, his mind reeling. Sheldon stuffed his hands into his pockets and waited.
“I wonder what it says?” Howard mused from the doorway just as Leonard stared at Sheldon, completely dumbfounded.
“Something epic from the look of it,” Raj hypothesized.
“You were not the only one affected by Penny that first day, Leonard,” Sheldon stated quietly. “From the first time she smiled at me, she tugged at my heart. I tried to ignore it. Then I tried to fight it. It’s been a losing battle,” he sighed and suddenly, in that moment, as Leonard looked into Sheldon’s eyes, he felt like he was seeing - for the first time - the heart of the man before him. “So the answer to your question is yes: I do love Penny. I always have.”
“Oh, Sheldon.”
Both Leonard and Sheldon spun towards the open doorway, startled to see Penny standing behind Howard and Raj - and judging by the looks on their faces, they looked just as surprised to see her standing there.
But none of that mattered apparently, Leonard thought as he watched Penny stare at Sheldon in wonder, tears pooling in her eyes. She moved slowly, but with single-minded purpose, passing in between Howard and Raj and right past him before coming to a stop less than a foot away from Sheldon. Her hand reached up to touch Sheldon’s face, as if in slow motion, as if she was afraid that if she moved too quickly - he might disappear, or run.
And Leonard was suddenly struck by the thought that was she had never looked at him that way.
Sheldon leaned into her touch on his cheek as his hand reached out to grasp her other hand, their fingers intertwining like it was the most natural thing in the world. Penny smiled up at him, and he smiled down at her.
As Howard and Raj came to stand on either side of Leonard, they realized as one that they were somehow witnessing what bordered on a truly magical moment.
“I don’t know how much you heard, Penny,” Sheldon whispered. “But I meant what I said. I love you.”
“That’s all I needed to hear, Sheldon. I love you too!” The words tumbled from her lips on a sob and a laugh. “I think I’ve loved you for a very long time. It’s just that I... I didn’t think you would... I mean, I never thought you would ever be interested. In me! Oh my God - I never thought you could ever feel the same - oh - I love you too!”
And then she kissed him.
Howard and Raj sighed, almost identical sappy smiles on both their faces. Leonard was hard-pressed not to follow suit. His anger effectively evaporated.
He had never stood a chance, he thought, completely deflated, as he watched the couple pull apart from each other for about a second - love and happiness shining in their faces - before Sheldon enveloped Penny in a hug that almost lifted her off the ground, his face buried in her hair, her arms tight around his neck.
They looked like they never wanted to let go of one another.
Leonard sighed; perhaps he had been the one fighting a losing battle all these years - trying to make something meaningful out of nothing consequential.
For deep in his heart, Leonard had always known that for Penny, Sheldon had always been the special one.
Sure, he had delighted in their fights and lamented when they made up, their relationship somehow strengthening with each discordant battle of wills. He had stood jealously by when Penny had increasingly sought out Sheldon’s help, or Sheldon’s advice, or Sheldon’s opinion and not his. He had fumed over the things they shared in common - like things common to their upbringing - that he could never share. And he had absolutely hated that their relationship was so seamless and effortless, whereas he had to work so hard for every little victory where she was concerned - unless of course, Sheldon’s voice echoed inside his head, alcohol and poor judgement were involved.
He smirked self-pityingly.
In all honesty, he had to admit, that he had also borne witness to their affection and respect and trust and admiration for one another growing and flourishing over the years. Could the same be said of his own relationship with Penny? Even though they had actually progressed beyond friendship and dated sporadically over the years? He thought not. And since he was being honest with himself, he realized that he didn’t want to expend an ounce more energy on being miserable over Penny any more.
Enough.
No emo music, no cats.
It was time to move on.
After all, who was he to stand in the way of true love?
He walked up to Sheldon and Penny and wrapped his arms around both of them. They cast startled glances at him but he smiled and shrugged haplessly.
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good romance,” he quipped.
Penny grinned at him and Sheldon - smiled. It was honest, it was grateful and it convinced Leonard that he was doing the right thing.
“I’m sorry, Sheldon - and you too, Penny. I guess... No, I know I’m happy for you guys... but it’s going to take some getting used to. So I might need some time.” Leonard shot them a sheepish look and Penny smiled at him.
“Thanks, Leonard. You’re a good friend,” she said as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Yes, thank you, Leonard,” Sheldon said quietly. And kissed his other cheek.
Leonard chuckled and hugged them again.
“Aww - group hug!” Howard yelled and he and Raj stepped into the circle.
“Howard - that better not be your hand on my behind,” Penny warned menacingly. Sheldon glared at him.
“What? It was an accident!”
“Raj - is that your hand on my behind?” Sheldon turned the death glare on Raj, who grinned and shrugged.
Leonard laughed. “Ah man - I love you guys!”
“Mazel tov!” Howard cried out, inordinately thrilled at the turn of events. He released his friends and stepped away from the group, silently beckoning to Raj as he went.
“You owe me a twenty.”
Raj huffed out a breath but gamely took out his wallet and handed Howard a twenty dollar bill.
“Say it.” Howard smiled slyly at him. “That’s part of the wager, my desi brotha from anotha motha.”
Raj sighed. “The UST between our OTP on the Sheldon and Penny Show became canon this week - like you said it would, and not next week, like I said it would. You were right, and I was wrong. Happy now?”
Howard looked back at Sheldon and Penny - still holding hands and talking to Leonard. He grinned.
“Actually, yeah, buddy. Real happy. You?” He looked over to see Raj watching the newly minted couple.
“Ecstatic, dude.” Raj beamed. “Ecstatic.” He looked back at his partner-in-crime. “Now when is it our turn?”
“I’ve got a little somethin’-somethin’ in the works,” Howard smirked. “You are on your own.”
***
Later that night...
“Well?” Penny huffed and tried not to tap her foot impatiently.
“I’m still thinking.”
“Sheldon, honey - this isn’t rocket, I mean stringy - science. Just do it.”
“I have to carefully analyse the pros and cons of this move, Penny. It’s a monumental decision and one not to be taken lightly. I can’t just re-organize my life on a whim.”
“Sheldon. It’s been a long day - it’s been emotional and uplifting and draining and wonderful and possibly the best day of my life so far - so please, don’t make me hurt you.”
Sheldon sputtered in indignation, but then he turned to look at the one and only love of his life. Her wry smirk took any sting out of her words. He couldn’t help but lean down and press a soft kiss on her lips.
But of course it didn’t stop there. Not with his big ol’ five. She grabbed his face and pressed three kisses on his lips in quick succession, each one a little longer, deeper, and more wondrous than the first.
They were both breathless by the time she was done.
“Plenty more where that came from, moonpie,” Penny murmured huskily.
“Fine,” he huffed in mock annoyance. “I’ll take the luminous fish side.”
“Excellent choice,” Penny congratulated him as she took his hand and dragged him further into his bedroom before coming to a stop by his bed, with him colliding into her.
His arms wound around her body from behind, his long, lean body pressing into hers, the motions natural, never forced any more. He buried his face in her hair - he loved doing that, she was learning.
“Actually - I find myself not caring about sides so much, as long as you are next to me,” he whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver. It may have just been the sexiest thing Sheldon Cooper could have told her at that moment. He trailed a series of soft kisses from her ear down the side of her jaw.
She turned into him, and he covered her mouth with his, the kiss languid as he explored her mouth with his tongue, causing her to moan and press her body impossibly closer to his. He pulled back, his mouth meandering off to explore her throat, and the side of her neck. Her arms curled around his shoulders, her fingers dragging through his perfectly combed hair, leaving it spiky - making him look sexy and tousled - like he had just gotten out of bed after a night with her in it. She smiled at the sight, her heart swelling with love and desire and the knowledge that this was her man.
“You know,” he murmured as his tongue flicked out to lick her earlobe, causing her to gasp uncontrollably. He did it again - momentarily distracted by her response - and it elicited the same reaction. She felt his smile as his lips skimmed over her ear; she could almost see her reaction being filed away somewhere in his head, ready to be used again if need be. “You know,” he started again, “I think I finally understand your shared bedroom corollary.”
“My... wait, what?” She asked breathlessly, his voice in her ear sending delicious little sparks of current down her spine. He pulled up to look at her.
“Your insistence on not having separate bedrooms after we’re married. I get it. I couldn’t not have you by my side - especially now that I know what having you in my arms feels like,” he gave her a small smile as his bright eyes honed in on hers. “Is it all right to feel as if I never want to let you go?”
Penny, who was still reeling from his first words - after we’re married - which seem to have been said without conscious thought, said: “It’s fine. In fact - it’s encouraged. I don’t ever want to let you go either.” She took a deep breath and took the plunge. “And after we’re married, I’ll make sure you still get a room all to yourself. It can be your personal little fortress of solitude. Even I won’t come in there.”
His eyes blazed into hers, and she suddenly remembered that nothing this man said or did was without thought. There was time for the words later, she realized. He was just putting out feelers - testing, assessing, observing. She had a sudden flashback to a certain proposal in the park that they had recently witnessed. She recalled his questions and interest at the time, and knew that her answers had been filed away somewhere in his memory banks.
And knowing Sheldon, his proposal would be perfect. And she could hardly wait.
“I would not bar you from my Superman ice thingie,” Sheldon quipped, his hand caressing her cheek, and Penny grinned up at him. “You would be welcome into every little corner of my life. Just don’t touch my mint-condition comics.”
“Deal. Can we get back to the making out part now?”
“Deals are traditionally sealed with handshakes,” his mouth dipped to hers. “Or kisses.”
“Kisses, definitely kisses.”
“Deal.” And so he kissed her - sealing their first of a long line of deals and compromises that they would make in their lives together - and slowly edged her closer to the bed, his hand reaching behind her until it found the zip to her dress.
She loved that he stopped and looked to her for permission. She nodded her consent before enveloping his lower lip in her mouth, nibbling, sucking, licking. His hand inched the zipper down, one of his fingers trailing along her spine as he went, and the soft caress was nearly her undoing. Suddenly, she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Sheldon?”
“Mmm?” He mumbled as he pushed the straps of her dress down her shoulders. The dress snagged on her breasts; not revealing them but the sight tempting him anyway, his gaze was riveted to her chest in fascination.
And then suddenly, she realized - maybe she could wait. There was something to be said about his unhurried exploration of her body. This slow burn of passion was something new for her too. It was heady and... addicitive.
And as his head bent down and his warm mouth ghosted kisses over the tops of her breasts, she decided, she would let Sheldon have his way with her.
This time.
Next time - she would teach him a thing or two or ten.
And then they somehow tumbled onto the bed together, and - for the first time ever in Sheldon Cooper’s bedroom - all thinking was put aside, and feelings reigned supreme.
***
Much later that night, somewhere in a house in suburban Pasadena...
“Howard?” The current Mrs. Wolowitz yelled.
“Yeah, ma?” Howard yelled back.
“I’m going out to play canasta with Marge,” she informed him. “Are you coming with?”
“No, ma!”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. You know how much the girls like having you around.”
“I’ve got company, ma!”
“Oh,” came the response. Howard could almost hear the wheels turning in his mother’s head. “Is she Jewish?”
“Are you Jewish?” Howard enquired of his bed-mate. She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but grin at her. God - he was a lucky, lucky man.
“With a name like Cassandra Kildare? I think not,” she quipped, a saucy smile on her face.
“Yeah, she’s Jewish!” He yelled back at his mother.
“Okay - you kids have fun. And use protection! Bye!”
And that, kids, was the night Howard Wolowitz got his groove back.
***
Describe and discuss your current relationship paradigm with Sheldon Cooper, PhD. Explain, in point form, and using specific examples, why you should be allowed to remain in his social circle.
Additional pages may be used if required. Marks will be deducted for errors in spelling and syntax. And this is just for Penny: no emoticons or hearts. This question is worth 20% of the overall evaluation.
Dear Dr. Whack-a-Doodle,
I can’t believe you’re making me do this test again.
The first time was bad enough. Although you never did tell me why you chose me over Raj when I know he must have scored higher than me. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m bothering with this test in the first place coz I can’t help feeling that somehow - Cass is in and I’m out! I’m totally the weakest link in your social circle, right? It makes me nauseous.
I mean - nauseated.
And before you can have a coronary - I know how to spell ‘because’ - I just did that to annoy you ;o)
Also, the rest of this questionnaire is blank because:
1: I’ve been so busy and tired this week and I forgot to fill this out - all right, I didn’t forget - I was just trying to put this off for as long as I could.
2: I did not want to ask Leonard for help this time.
3: I’m just so mad that you would make me do this again!
Me!
I thought our friendship evolved beyond this, Sheldon.
To me (and I don’t know how or when or why - actually I used to wonder why multiple times on a daily basis - but now I’ve come to accept and appreciate it) - to me, Sheldon, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.
Yeah. I know right? Go figure, brainiac.
And I wasn’t kidding when I said I love you, moonpie. I love talking to you - and even though you were a lousy listener when I first met you, now you’re a sweetheart. An annoying sweetheart - but still a sweetheart.
I’d like to think I had something to do with that. Oh, who am I kidding? I had everything to do with the civilization of Sheldon Cooper. Go ahead - try and deny it. Can’t do it, can you? So yeah - I guess I’m responsible for fine-tuning your social skills - at least where I’m concerned. And really, who else matters, right? :o)
I also love listening to you (cue gasp of shock). Your words, your voice - it has a weird calming effect on me when you babble on about science, or the way the universe works, or whatever. I mean Schroedinger’s cat-in-a-box thingie? Did I spell Schroedinger right? I’m too tired to go turn on my laptop and google it - so just let it go this time, all right? And going to the museum or the planetarium or the aquarium or the zoo with you is awesome. I have a whole new appreciation for... knowledge.
But that’s not all. I mean, sometimes I hear your voice inside my head. Usually just before I’m about to do something not-so-smart. I used to hate that. Now - I find I don’t mind so much. You’re like my conscience or something. And you know what? I think that I listen to your voice in my head and it’s made me - especially over the past couple of years - make smarter choices.
So don’t think that you’re the only one who’s changed. I think I’ve grown and become a better person because of you. You’ve never made me feel like less of a person just because I’m not like you, you know? I mean, I know I’m not a brilliant scientist but I don’t think I’m stupid either. You used to point out my ignorance at every opportunity before but you also took the time to explain things to me. I don’t think you were ever intentionally rude but then again - I gave as good (or better) as I got, so in the long run, I guess that makes us even.
I was really hurt when you implied that I could lose your friendship if you decide you want Cass in your life. I hope that’s not the case, Sheldon, because:
1: I need you in my life.
2: I would really miss you.
3: It would break my heart.
I know Cass is everything I’m not. She’s beautiful, smart, a scientist - she’s pretty damn near perfect. And she even looks a little like me - have you noticed? Blonde hair, green eyes? Maybe, you’d never even notice my absence if you pick her over me. And to top it all off, she’s all sophisticated and elegant too. A real city girl - whereas I have the Midwest in my DNA.
Yeah, my DNA. I said it. See how much you’re rubbing off on me?
Oh yeah, and Cass makes you laugh.
I don’t know what else to say after that.
Just remember, Sheldon - we have history. You can’t just discount that. We know each other on so many levels, you know? You can’t get that with just anyone. You know my family, I know yours. I know your crazy ways, you know mine. You’ve put up with a lot of my crap over the years and I’ve put up with a lot of yours (panty piñata, anyone?). And may I ask you: would Cass ever give you Leonard Nimoy’s DNA?
All right, I didn’t know I was giving you his DNA at the time, but I got you his autograph, right?
So before you make your final decision, I want you to really, really think about this:
1: Don’t you need me in your life?
2: Wouldn’t you miss me?
3: Will it not break your heart to lose me?
You know me - I have my pride, and I not the kind of person who will beg for anything. I think I’m too stubborn to do that. But this is important, so here goes nothing.
I’m begging you, Sheldon. Please don’t throw our friendship away. What we have - friendship doesn’t even begin to describe it - but please, please cherish it the way I cherish it.
I can’t believe you would do something so cold-hearted but then again... I’ve seen you with Cass - and I will admit that it scares me.
I guess... I’m jealous of her.
I guess, I’m possessive of you.
Fight for us, Sheldon.
Fight all your insecurities and doubts and listen to your heart and not your head just this once.
Fight for me.
Because, all you have to do is say the word and... I’m yours.
Actually, I’m yours already.
I love you, Sheldon.
Penny Y
P.S. If you decide to keep me and then later on if you ever make me fill out one of these forms again - screw junior rodeo - I’m gonna go senior circuit on your ass - spelling and syntax be damned.
***