i'm almost 30, and I have been an enormous tool for most of my life. now i'm a chill bro.

I still have the dream at least once a week where I haven't shown up the entire semester and I have two essays due by tomorrow and I'm going to get kicked out of school.

It has been so long and I don't know why my brain can't just focus on dreams where I'm boning instead.

I could probably find entries wherein I write ( Read more... )

Maritza went through some photo albums on a rainy Sunday while visiting, and saw that I not only used to own a cabbage patch doll, but a female cabbage patch doll. Her name was Phoebe Noah, and I asked for her when I was 5. This caused a stir among my family - they thought I might be gay. (and I might be gay ( Read more... )

Amy Zimmerman fucking destroyed me at Dr. Mario. I won maybe one time for every 7 times she beat me. It wasn't even close. I really need to reevaluate things.

"I lost. I lost bad. I lost to a girl." - A.C. Slater

I'm done for now making fun of Adam and Radish's entries. Where is Alex when you need him to post?

one of my favorite things these days is telling people how awful they are, and how irritating their friends are

I also like calling people "fella"

that will be all

while others have been posting their camping updates and glowing experiences, I will keep it short - I have not pooped for 108 hours and I'm kind of cranky about it.

Next, Napa/Sonoma ideas. I don't do that shit, I need help for the best places to go and experience it. Anyway, sodas are on the line.

you have 10 hours to see San Francisco - where do you take someone. Museums, unless mindblowing, should not be a part of this list. Other boring shit should not be a part of this list. Places where you hang out and lie in the grass with friends on drugs should probably not be a part of this list, unless it's like "Get a burrito at Can-Cun, sit in ( Read more... )