i was stupid to think that maybe i was important.....

[shellbellstc]

i hate that i went to soooo much troble for something that i knew in the back of my mind was goin to fucking go to hell........i hated walking into my room and seeing it pretty

Comments

I hate myself

[mehgasm]

I cant stop crying... Im so sorry to ave hurt you. Please sweetheart, be mad at me, hate me... just dont be sad sad anymore! God I hate myself so fucking much. I feel like Im a horrible person and all my priorities are just fucked. Please tell me you still love me... God, I cant even see the screen. How could I do this to you, I am so sorry sweetheart! I hate myself... I hate myself so fucking much. Im balling, Victor and Donavan are making fun of me... I just want you to hold me and I fucked that up because Im weak as hell. I just want to be with you, so you can make me stop, but that cant happen because this is all my fault.Its my fault, I knew how much you were looking forward to this, and I made the final decision. Its my fault... I hate me... please dont hate me sweetheart... God, please dont hate me, I love you so much and I dont want you to ever feel like this again. Im a horrible boyfriend... I need to go fall asleep so I'll stop hurting now. Please forgive me, I love you and need you more than you know

[mehgasm]

Im a little calmer now, but Im still crying. I just tried to climb onto a bike and ride to your house... it had two flat tires... I wasnt thinking rationally. I just need to see you... I need to see you really bad, and I wont be happy till I do. Im so sorry sweetheart, I just pray that you'll forgive me because you are important to me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, please know that. Im a bastard, and a horrible boyfriend, I should be more sensitive. I hate myself, and I love you... please forgive me.

[mehgasm]

I love you... I wanna stop writing, but I cant. I wanna talk to you but I cant... I wanna see you, hold you, but I blew that away because Im a fuck. I hate myself so fucking much tonight, and I dont blame you if you hate me too. I deserve it. I cant sleep... not until I see you, and I cant talk to you until morning... I guess I can wait it ou... please forgive me...