mrsblakeshelton: MAN UP, BLAKE. DON'T BE A PUSSY. POST IT ALREADY.
Okay, y'all... People have their panties in their ass around here. I guess I'm supposed to be a Jonas Brother and not myself!! WHAT HAS THIS BECOME?!!! WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO DAMN STUPID!!! Let me make a fact list about myself. I WANT YOU TO SEE WHO I AM!! Honestly.... If you don't know who I am, it's called GOOGLE!!! AND IF YOU WANT TO DEFRIEND ME, I SAY... READY, SET, GO!!!!! LET THE HATE BEGIN!!!!!!!
CHECK PLEASE, ASSHOLE!!
- I've been with Luke Bryan once...
- I tend to hallucinate that my deer heads wink at me!!
- I think candy cigarettes led me to the crack habit that I have now!!
- I hate flying commercial!!
- I cuss!!
- I hate foreign cab drivers!!
- I've got Jerk Of The Year Award!!
- I have a crack pipe that doubles as a hand warmer!!
- I'm always wondering how drunk Martina McBride is!!
- Apparently, I'm a disgrace to country music with my stupid attitude, ha!!
- Monkeys are cute dressed as astronauts!!
- I have in-grown toe nails!!
- I'm self centered!!
- I love teaming up with Michelle Branch!!
- I admit to having a drinking addiction!!
- I hate when mother nature freezes my eyelids shut!!
- I love bi-sexual women!! I can't get enough!!
- Not flushing a toilet is a pet peeve!!
- I love having PETA wars!! This makes my day more than you'll ever know!!
- I am always thinking about sex, CONSTANTLY!!
- I watch manly shows such as GOLDEN GIRLS!!
- I love drinking. My favorite drink is a Blakearita (Bacaradi Silver O3 & Sprite Zero)!!
- I have a hooker!!
- I didn't make a resolution this year. I guess I will continue to be an idiot!!
- If you stare at me, I will flip you the bird!!
- I get my truck stuck!!
- I've had a blind date with Reba!!
- I have drinking marathons at my house!!
- I definitely don't like looking like Craig Morgan!!
- I really don't give a shit what people say or think about me!!
- I tend to flirt with all the girls on Twitter!!
- I tend to have a weird, but fucked up sense of humor. I blame it on being from Oklahoma!!
- I have a very dirty mouth!!
- I'm a redneck, southern, good ol' boy!!
- I love hunting just to make PETA mad!! I really do live for pissing PETA off!!
- I love Martina McBride. We love flirting through Twitter.
- Don't let Michelle Branch hear!! She's my music wife !!
- I want to write a book!!
- Miranda's TLC and WE shows make me sick!!
- I love Bomshel videos in more ways than one!!
- Sometimes, I make fun of my family!! They are drunks too!!
- I am always looking for an excuse to drink!!
- I support insect over beastiality!!
- I make fun of fat people!!
- I make fun of skinny people too!!
- I like to give advice!!
- I like to get high!! Don't you?!!
- I like to talk about drugs!!
- I just like to tweet random things!!
- I'm awesome!!
- High or not, I'd love to see Little Big Town dress up as KISS!!
- I really adore Kelly Clarkson!!
- I am obsessed with Katy Perry!!
- I love Lady Gaga even though I don't know what she sings!!
- Dickweed is another word that I love!!
- I'm up all hours!!
- I balls people!!
- I admit to having a slight gay side!!
- I can yell at my band, and be perverted all in one setting!!
- I don't think there is a time when I'm not saying something sexual!!
- I care about my fans!!
- I am completely obsessed with George Straight. He is one of my idols!!
- I am an Arizona Cardinals Fan!!
- I, sometimes, use Q-tips for stirring my drinks!!
- Fans love it when I pick on them!!
- I love playing naked Twister!!
- I love helping Miranda out with her music!!
- I make references about Rosie O'Donnell!!
- I love SHEDAISY...NAKED AND IN MY LAP!!
- I don't wear the pants in my relationship!!
- I talk about peeing the bed with Michelle Branch, then blaming it on Miranda!!
- I like borrowing Clay Walker's jeans!!
- I do have a period like women!!
- I do not support Miranda's mutts!!
- I can fit in with the younger generation!!
- I hate interviews from unauthorized people!!
- I talk openly about my sex life, and Miranda!!
- I love male hookers, secretly!!
- I love Jenna Jameson compared to my iPhone!!
- I work out while hungover!!
- I hate nasty bathrooms!!
- I, sometimes, wake up in my own vomit!!
- I've been prescribed a helmet from a doctor!!
- Ouch, I'm too dysfunctional for a girl to love!!
- I tend to piss myself, and play poker with vomit in my shirt pocket!!
- I tend to quote my own songs!!
- I'm not Mr. Rogers!!
- I'm a little sexist!!
- I'm an idiot!!
- I'm always in competition with Satan!!
- I love gifts from my fans!!
- My family and I do shit that is illegal in OKlahoma!!
- I admit to liking hookers, whores, strippers and sluts!!
- I watch my own music videos!!
- I'm always between pees!!
- Miranda and I like to prove people wrong!!
- I love taking over Miranda's Twitter account!!
- Miranda always gets paybacks!!
- Miranda and I make such the oddest, most competitive, daring, pushy couple ever!!
- Miranda makes sure that I get what I deserve in the end!!
- Twitter was Miranda and I's way of communicating last year!!
- I always step on the tacks that I lose!!
- I balls Adam Lambert for talking shit about Miranda's dress!!
- Beer is always included in our dates!!
- I've always wanted a Hummer!!
- I always own the stage when I'm on it!!
- I make a complete ass out of myself for the woman I married!!
- I even sing Miranda's songs, and I use her pink guitar!!
- I get drunk, high and stupid, but I have nothing on Miranda!! She takes the cake!!!
- I don't have violent tendancies like Miranda does!!
- I have no shame when it comes to sex with Miranda, whether my mom or the world is there!!
- I'm always right, not romantic or sensitive, and get what I want - Thanksgiving in Oklahoma!!
- I hate pop music, but love Blakearitas. I drink while I work, and have unusual dates with Miranda!!
- I'm one of Country's hottest stars, and Bellamy Brother's make me feel sexual!!
- I enjoy having "alone time" with Faith Hill!!
- I have no problem convincing people to buy my albums!!
- I love pushing friends down ramps!!
- I am not a modest person!!
- Bets and cussing is usually what happens when you're in the business with your other half!!
- Miranda apologizes before I hit on people, even if I just "tag along" with her!! I tend to voice my opinions when I shouldn't!!
- I love Trace Adkins' Hillbilly Bone!!
- I like hog hunting, horseback riding rarely, and I love my father-in-law!!
- I hate Al Gore!!
- I tend to make references about Miranda sexually without saying her name!!
- I've had blood in my urine before!!
- I don't even know how many albums I have!!
- I get the driving numbers off of vehicles!!
- I think a whole lot!!
- I like to promote my own albums!!
- Babies should have muzzles!!
- I admit to having regular bowel movements!!
- I want Scarlett Johansson!!
- I talk shit about my tour manager!!
- I love Redneck Thinking!!
- I piss my pants at times!!
- I don't understand NASCAR qualifying!!
- I love Kellie Pickler's new Twitter icon. PS Thanks, Miranda for letting me know!!
- I hate watching fashion shows!!
- I quote Miley Cyrus songs!!
- I'm a womanizer, love Neil McCoy, never had a job or went to college. To top it all off, I admit to being the one that damages my relationship with Miranda.
- I think pissing is kinky!!
- Did I mention that I don't give a FUCK about PETA?!! I guess I did. I just can't seem to STRESS it enough!!
- I love quoting Fergie!!
- I hate mother nature!!!
- We set cars on fire in Oklahoma!!
- I know more words than just FUCK!!
- Did I mention that I like it from behind with Elliott?!!!
- I 'd rather hook up with my step-sister than cousin!!
- Throwing up is a part of my fantasies!!
- I'm not into Golden Showers, sorry!!
- I don't think I'm funny.
- Kellie Pickler is hot!!
- I mix crack with meth!!
- Reba is always drunk around me, ha!!
- I'm all for legalizing pot!!
CHECK PLEASE, ASSHOLE!!