They Joy of Interesting People
First of all, Zack made a dessert for thorne_scratch. Now for today's ramble!
I spent lunch today with our student worker. We went out for sushi (there's a couple of good sushi places in Junon), and on the walk there we talked.
The conversation started out with Batman, for some reason, zipping rapidly past Adam West (Oh, that's right, I was carrying an umbrella and I did a Penguin laugh that he recognized) and rambling over the movies (numbers 3 and 4 did suck). The talk skimmed Frank Miller's contribution to the Batman franchise, over Frank Miller's other work, and down across superhero movies overall (It seems I should go see Wolverine's flick some time).
Somehow we slid into the nature of God, belief and faith, moving through Zen Buddhism (which isn't about God at all). By the time we got our sushi, we were exploring environmentalism, responsible use of the planet and compassionate/responsible eating (note to self: find The Omnivore's Dillemma and read it). We talked about overfishing (I'm ordering tuna less and less these days) and the fact that some of our favorite and most overfished treats (sea bass, orange roughy) were junkfish that got renamed in recent years and caught on like wildfire.
After lunch on the walk back, we talked about the superiority of hemp to cotton (superior strength, wear, comfort and breathability) and what a shame that a bit of hype keeps such a wonderful product from being farmed in the USA. (There's almost NO THC in commercial hemp; I contributed that the plant is one of those that "renews" the soil, so it's great in rotational planting; he contributed that up through WWII the Navy recommended hemp for ropes!) We left each other with two interesting tidbits.
He told me that the Coca-Cola company's last purchase of coca leaves was in 1995. Holy moley! I told him that until recent years, you could still get dried opium poppy pods -- in craft stores, where they were sold for dried flower arrangements.
Now Student Intern is into law with a focus on drugs, so his data is good. And me? Crafter, artist, plant geek. What a combination! I came back to work happy and with my mind awake and buzzing.
I have found a few secrets to an interesting conversation. One is to be interested in the person you're talking to. If you monopolize the talk, you'll never hear any of what they have to contribute. And if your conversational partner is interested in what you have to say right back at you, it's pure gold.
Secret two is -- Don't be afraid. To be interested, to have an opinion, to speak your mind respectfully, to differ in opinion. You don't have to be a rubber stamp. You don't have to be a carbon copy. You don't have to be perfect. You can be yourself.
Secret three is Respect all around. Launching into "oh, but..." makes your conversation into a debate -- something that can also be fun and illuminating, but it's not the same as a conversation, because it brings the element of competition into it. Disdaining someone's commentary can shut them down and stop the conversation, or make things awkward. On the other hand, be aware that hearing an opinion that differs from yours does not necessarily mean the speaker is disregarding you.
Secret four is minimize complaining. Complaining is the universal constant, the quick and easy way to make a connection with another. Everyone has something to complain about. but if the conversation turns into a cat session, sooner or later people will start worrying about when they're the ones being complained about. It's not as easy to connect with likes and simple conversation, but those connections are much stronger and last longer.
Do you have any secrets for a good talk?
I spent lunch today with our student worker. We went out for sushi (there's a couple of good sushi places in Junon), and on the walk there we talked.
The conversation started out with Batman, for some reason, zipping rapidly past Adam West (Oh, that's right, I was carrying an umbrella and I did a Penguin laugh that he recognized) and rambling over the movies (numbers 3 and 4 did suck). The talk skimmed Frank Miller's contribution to the Batman franchise, over Frank Miller's other work, and down across superhero movies overall (It seems I should go see Wolverine's flick some time).
Somehow we slid into the nature of God, belief and faith, moving through Zen Buddhism (which isn't about God at all). By the time we got our sushi, we were exploring environmentalism, responsible use of the planet and compassionate/responsible eating (note to self: find The Omnivore's Dillemma and read it). We talked about overfishing (I'm ordering tuna less and less these days) and the fact that some of our favorite and most overfished treats (sea bass, orange roughy) were junkfish that got renamed in recent years and caught on like wildfire.
After lunch on the walk back, we talked about the superiority of hemp to cotton (superior strength, wear, comfort and breathability) and what a shame that a bit of hype keeps such a wonderful product from being farmed in the USA. (There's almost NO THC in commercial hemp; I contributed that the plant is one of those that "renews" the soil, so it's great in rotational planting; he contributed that up through WWII the Navy recommended hemp for ropes!) We left each other with two interesting tidbits.
He told me that the Coca-Cola company's last purchase of coca leaves was in 1995. Holy moley! I told him that until recent years, you could still get dried opium poppy pods -- in craft stores, where they were sold for dried flower arrangements.
Now Student Intern is into law with a focus on drugs, so his data is good. And me? Crafter, artist, plant geek. What a combination! I came back to work happy and with my mind awake and buzzing.
I have found a few secrets to an interesting conversation. One is to be interested in the person you're talking to. If you monopolize the talk, you'll never hear any of what they have to contribute. And if your conversational partner is interested in what you have to say right back at you, it's pure gold.
Secret two is -- Don't be afraid. To be interested, to have an opinion, to speak your mind respectfully, to differ in opinion. You don't have to be a rubber stamp. You don't have to be a carbon copy. You don't have to be perfect. You can be yourself.
Secret three is Respect all around. Launching into "oh, but..." makes your conversation into a debate -- something that can also be fun and illuminating, but it's not the same as a conversation, because it brings the element of competition into it. Disdaining someone's commentary can shut them down and stop the conversation, or make things awkward. On the other hand, be aware that hearing an opinion that differs from yours does not necessarily mean the speaker is disregarding you.
Secret four is minimize complaining. Complaining is the universal constant, the quick and easy way to make a connection with another. Everyone has something to complain about. but if the conversation turns into a cat session, sooner or later people will start worrying about when they're the ones being complained about. It's not as easy to connect with likes and simple conversation, but those connections are much stronger and last longer.
Do you have any secrets for a good talk?