Title: Graceless
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: 5x21 'Two Minutes to Midnight'
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine. If it was, the homoerotisicim would be more than subtext.
Summary: Castiel is frustrated with his new state of being. Dean's just glad he's alright.
A/N: This is a coda to 'Two Minutes to Midnight'. Oh my god, I think this is the first time I've written slash!
Dean heard glass break as he approached the room Castiel was staying in. Castiel was standing in the middle of the room staring angrily at the wall. Water was dripping down it and there were the remains of a glass on the floor. Dean looked at Castiel knowingly. “Feel better?” he asked.
Castiel looked at him, slight shame on his face. “No.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Dean stepping into the room.
“My chest itches. Badly.”
“That happens when you’re healing,” replied Dean. “You can’t scratch it, though.”
“I know,” said Cas. “That’s why I threw the glass. I used to be able to heal my vessel in a matter of minutes.” He looked at Dean. “ How do you deal with it? Being human, I mean.”
“It’s all I’ve ever known,” said Dean. “You just deal with the shit and try to survive.”
Castiel rubbed absentmindedly at his chest. “Let me take a look,” said Dean.
“What?”
“Your wounds,” he clarified, “Let me see them.”
“They’ve been bandaged by doctors, Dean. I doubt there’s much more you can do for me,” said Castiel, but he was already divesting himself of his coat and jacket. When he removed his shirt, Dean saw that he was bleeding a little through the bandages where the sigil was carved on his chest.
“You have been scratching haven’t you?” Dean accused.
“I can’t help it,” said Cas. “It’s maddening.”
Dean smiled. “I’ll get you something for it.” He left the room and returned a few moments later with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He tossed it to Cas.
“Liquor?” said Cas dubiously. “Will that really help the itching?”
“Works for everything else,” said Dean.
Castiel opened it and took a swig.
“You’ll need a lot less of that to get drunk now that your human,” said Dean. Castiel winced slightly at the word ‘human’. “Sorry,” said Dean.
“I’m useless to you now,” said Castiel sadly.
“Oh, don’t you dare,” warned Dean. “Now that Bobby’s on his feet again, you’re gonna start? You are not useless. Bobby was never useless either. We’re a team, and I need you to function as what you are, not whine about what you were.”
Castiel glared at him.
“Look, Cas, I get it, how much you’ve lost, and it’s my fault.”
“It is not your fault, Dean!” Castiel said quickly.
“You gave up your connection to Heaven to follow me. You used up the last of your grace to help me.”
“Those were my choices,” said Castiel earnestly. “If it weren’t for you I’d have never even learned to make my own choices.”
“Look,” said Dean, stopping what he was sure would be a circular argument. “I’m just saying. Don’t be upset that you’re only a man now, because you’re still one hell of a man.”
That made Castiel smile. “Thank you,” he said humbly. “So are you.”
The look in Castiel’s eyes when he said that made something in Dean’s heart swell. “Thanks.”
“Dean,” said Castiel. “I did a lot of thinking in that hospital bed. I told myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d tell you this. It looks like we might not have long anyway, so--”
“Cas.” Dean thought he knew where this was going. “I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” Dean stepped closer to him, until they were mere inches apart. “Hell, Sam’s been teasing me about it. Cas,” he looked the other man in the eyes and tried to think of what to say. “You’ve come to mean so much to me. When you were gone I thought about just how much, but I’m not sure… I mean it’s confusing. I’ve definitely had some thoughts about you that freaked me out. What I feel -- You know what? Before I say anything else, why don’t you just say what you were going to say.”
Castiel smiled at Dean affectionately. “I love you Dean,” he said.
A warm smile spread over Dean’s face and he closed the distance between them and kissed Castiel. Castiel was shocked, but very pleasantly so. His lips parted and felt Dean’s tongue slip gently into his mouth. Castiel’s heart sped up and he wrapped his arms around Dean’s back. This was his first kiss and he’d never, not even nestled in God’s grace, felt so loved.