Sherlock is a photographer for a fashion magazine famed for getting a rise out of his clients - ie. behind the camera he talks dirty to the models to get a reaction out of them, does all sort of provocative, near-illegal things to get the shot he wants (Lestrade, the art director, nearly fired him for bringing an actual human skull to the shoot, what the hell), but off-camera he's rude, arrogant and dismissive; etc. John is a male model past his peak who's recently been injured, leaving a horrible scar on his shoulder, and he's forced to work with Sherlock on an ad campaign or something. AND THERE IS A LOT OF SEXUAL TENSION AND SHERLOCK GETTING JOHN RILED UP WHILE HE'S BEING PHOTOGRAPHED AND EVENTUALLY LOTS OF DIRTY SEX ON SET ONCE EVERYONE'S GONE HOME.
But I have done you a mini-fill while you wait for a proper one...
“Wet Earth?” said Sherlock. “That’s its actual name?”
“Apparently,” said Sally reading through the copy. “Wet Earth for Men. A new cologne...the power of the earth...hard rain against soil...yadda yadda yadda...unleash the power that is Wet Earth.“So what they really mean,” said Sherlock. ”Is mud
( ... )
minifill part 3
anonymous
August 15 2011, 17:41:33 UTC
“Well?” said Lestrade.
“We light him from the right and below,” said Sherlock. “Up the contrast, bring out the wrinkles and pores and we get his kit off. Show off his best points. What have you got for me?”
“So far, said Lestrade. “Some fibreglass rocks. Probably wet.”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” said Sherlock. “Could you be more literal?”
“Have you got a better idea?” said Sally.
Sherlock paused at one of the pictures.
“Ah,” he said. “Yes.”
“Am I going to regret asking?” said Lestrade.
“John represents the damaged earth,” said Sherlock. “His scar is a crater, yes?”
“Er, ok,” said Lestrade.
“We submerge him in a glass tank, bound, maybe upside down, and we photograph close ups of his face and shoulder,” said Sherlock. “Wet Earth. The earth in agony. Ravaged.”
“What?” said John.
“Absolutely not,” said Lestrade.
“Not even if we warm the water?” said Sherlock.
“No,” said Sally.
“But it has relevance“Sherlock,” said Lestrade. “It’s a mid-range men’s cologne. They’re going to be selling it for £19.99 this Christmas with a
( ... )
Re: minifill part 3
anonymous
August 16 2011, 08:00:15 UTC
It's been a while since I giggled my way through a fic like I did just now! I love the rapid-fire, snarky dialogue. I particularly liked Sherlock checking John out, his absolutely outrageous idea, and the final two lines, just because I laughed again imagining John's expression. :P
I'd love to see (much, much) more of this, anon, if the inspiration hits again!
minifill part 5a
anonymous
August 19 2011, 15:14:29 UTC
Argh: posted 4 in the wrong place!“Right,” said Lestrade struggling under the weight of several large buckets. “Those are your dilutions and Sally’s bringing some of the rocks for the foreground
( ... )
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OP here, and I just wanna say that a fill could never be too Zoolander. I'd love to read this. :)
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CLEARLY IT IS MEANT TO BE.
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Please someone else come along with a fill that is entirely too Zoolander!
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“Wet Earth?” said Sherlock. “That’s its actual name?”
“Apparently,” said Sally reading through the copy. “Wet Earth for Men. A new cologne...the power of the earth...hard rain against soil...yadda yadda yadda...unleash the power that is Wet Earth.“So what they really mean,” said Sherlock. ”Is mud ( ... )
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Warning for some very bad taste ideas for advertising Wet Earth Cologne.Lestrade plastered on a smile ( ... )
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“We light him from the right and below,” said Sherlock. “Up the contrast, bring out the wrinkles and pores and we get his kit off. Show off his best points. What have you got for me?”
“So far, said Lestrade. “Some fibreglass rocks. Probably wet.”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” said Sherlock. “Could you be more literal?”
“Have you got a better idea?” said Sally.
Sherlock paused at one of the pictures.
“Ah,” he said. “Yes.”
“Am I going to regret asking?” said Lestrade.
“John represents the damaged earth,” said Sherlock. “His scar is a crater, yes?”
“Er, ok,” said Lestrade.
“We submerge him in a glass tank, bound, maybe upside down, and we photograph close ups of his face and shoulder,” said Sherlock. “Wet Earth. The earth in agony. Ravaged.”
“What?” said John.
“Absolutely not,” said Lestrade.
“Not even if we warm the water?” said Sherlock.
“No,” said Sally.
“But it has relevance“Sherlock,” said Lestrade. “It’s a mid-range men’s cologne. They’re going to be selling it for £19.99 this Christmas with a ( ... )
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I'd love to see (much, much) more of this, anon, if the inspiration hits again!
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