(no subject)
Title: Step
Author: akimi_hime
Characters/Pairings: McCadman, Shweir, Teyla/Ronon
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: “Dance Dance what?”
Notes: Crackity crack crack. Not to mention one of the few het-oriented fics I’ve written. Which just adds to the total and complete crackness. Which isn’t a word.
Wordcount: 1896
It started out innocently enough. Most fiascoes do. Rodney was fooling around with his woefully outdated chemistry set when the phone rang.
“What?” he snapped into the receiver.
“Good morning, Rodney.” The voice on the other end was inordinately cheerful. It had to be John Sheppard.
“If my parents had bothered to buy me a proper chemistry set instead of this idiocy involving a potato, we’d all be blown sky-high because you couldn’t wait five minutes to call,” he complained.
“Good thing all you’ve got is a potato, then. Listen, are you busy?”
“Yes, I - “
“Good. I need you to come over,” John interrupted. Rodney opened and closed his mouth uselessly.
“Why?”
“You need to see something. And call Carson, would you? I haven’t got his number.”
“Lucky him,” Rodney spat. “I haven’t got time to - “
“Thanks, Rodney!” And with that the line went dead. Rodney looked at his cat, who had enough sense to be hiding under the nearest table.
“The term railroaded comes to mind,” he said bitterly. Hubbell just meowed at him.
Because the chemistry set really was lousy, and Rodney figured he couldn’t afford to tick off one of the few actual friends he had, he and Carson Beckett found themselves on the Sheppard’s front porch.
“Why am I here?” Carson complained in his distinctive brogue.
“Because John said so.”
“And since when do you take orders from John?”
“Look, we both know whatever half-baked plan he’s got will probably end up with one of us in the hospital. I figure if we’re both here, we can overpower him and you can sit on him while I call the insane asylum.”
“Why do I have to sit on him?”
“Because - “ Rodney’s explanation was cut off as the door opened to reveal John Sheppard himself, holding a soda can and wearing a huge grin.
“You came!”
“Against better judgement, yes.” The two of them stepped inside and followed John into the living room, where a small blonde girl was spastically hopping around on a plastic mat hooked to the TV. Small arrows were scrolling up the screen in time with the background music, and she appeared to be dancing to it - sort of.
“What the hell is that?” Rodney demanded, immediately looking around for John’s parents. John laughed.
“My folks aren’t here,” he assured them. “And that is Dance Dance Revolution.”
“Dance Dance what?” Rodney frowned, but Carson sort of chuckled.
“You got it, then?” He moved around to get a better view of the girl’s movements.
“Yep. Put a serious hurting on my wallet, too.”
“Which game is it?”
“Max 2, I think.”
“Hold it!” Rodney all but shouted. “What is it?”
“It’s a game, Rodney.” Carson pointed at the screen. “When those arrows line up, you step on the corresponding arrow on the dance pad.” He pointed at the mat the girl was now merely standing on as a grade popped up on the screen.
“A ‘C’,” she panted, turning around to grab a soda off the coffee table. “Not bad for Standard mode.” As she drank from the can, she seemed to notice Rodney and Carson for the first time. “Oh, crap. You guys snuck up on me. Laura Cadman.” She grinned. John introduced Rodney and Carson and Laura cocked her head at Rodney’s scowl. “He always this friendly?”
“For the most part,” Carson said regretfully. Rodney turned the scowl on him, then John.
“I fail to see why you called me, John. You do know that I - “
“Hate physical activity of any kind?” he finished. “Yes, I know. I just figured you’d want to hang out for a while.” Rodney’s jaw tensed. He honestly didn’t have an answer to that. That kind of sentiment was rarely directed towards him.
“Fine,” he said finally. “I’ll stay, but I am not making a fool of myself on that thing.” John just grinned.
“I didn’t think you would.”
Rodney and Carson settled themselves on the couch to watch Laura and John take turns. Laura seemed to be more adept at it, but that might have been because John kept tripping over his pants legs.
“Why don’t you wear a belt, for Chrissakes?” Laura laughed as John avoiding falling for the third time. “Those bony hips of yours aren’t going to hold those baggy things up by themselves.”
“It’s for your sake,” he answered, straight-faced. “If I did that I’d be kicking your ass at this, and you’d be humiliated. You should thank me.”
“Well thank you, then. It’s sickening what a gentleman you are.” Laura rolled her eyes as John finished his song and promptly collapsed in the floor. Laura stood, grabbing one of Carson’s wrists. “Your turn!” she said cheerfully. Carson turned red.
“Oh, no, I’m not, I mean, I can’t - “
“Come on,” John urged half-heartedly from the carpet. “It’s good for you.”
“Oh aye, you look superb,” Carson retorted. “Do I have to? Rodney needs it more than I do.”
“Hey!” Rodney yelped. “Whose side are you on?” Laura seemed to think Carson was right, though, because she dropped his arm and grabbed Rodney’s. “What? Lemme go!”
“Come on. One round. Beginner’s mode.”
“No!”
“Please? Jesus would want you to.” She pouted at him.
“I’m an atheist,” he snapped.
“Well, then, Nothing would want you to, too. Come on!” She dragged him upright and pushed him towards the mat, kicking John out of the way. Rodney couldn’t do much but stand there as Laura forced him out of his shoes and set the game up. “You were watching; it’s easy. I’ll even set the easiest song for you.”
“First stage!” the song announced as the doorbell rang.
“Yay!” Laura cried. “Elizabeth’s dance pad is here!”
“What?” Rodney exclaimed. “Elizabeth’s here? Elizabeth Weir?”
“Go,” Laura urged. “You’ll miss the steps.” She ran to answer the door as Rodney, mind reeling, just followed her instructions and lined up the arrows, stepping awkwardly on the sides of the pad. Carson helped, timing it for him, but in the background he heard Laura and Elizabeth laughing, plus some voices he wasn’t quite familiar with. Great, so I get to embarrass myself in front of strangers,too. Some insane part of him was thinking it was actually sort of fun, a test of timing and eye-foot coordination. His grade appeared (An E? Is that even possible?) and he made a hasty retreat to the sofa as Laura and Elizabeth came in the living room with a small, slender girl and a huge hulking mass of a boy. John looked at them upside down from where he still lay on the floor.
“Hi Liz,” he said woefully. “Teyla, Dex.” The girl smiled at him, and the mountain grunted slightly.
“Hi, John.” Elizabeth dropped the rolled-up bundle she was carrying and knelt to brush John’s sweaty hair out of his face. “What are you so happy about?”
“Tired,” he said. “DDR ate my soul.”
“Again?” He nodded and she grinned, glancing up at Rodney and Carson on the couch. “Hey, you two.” She jerked her head at the screen. “Had a go yet?”
“Rodney did,” Laura spoke up. “But Carson’s a wuss.”
“You let Rodney out-manly you?” Elizabeth smirked and lifted an eyebrow. Rodney made an indignant protest that was overridden by John sitting up and gesturing at the two strangers.
“This is Teyla Emmagen and Ronon Dex,” he told Rodney and Carson. “I invited Teyla, and knowing Ronon he was already at her house.” Teyla blushed. Ronon just smirked.
“Now you’re about to see some dancing,” Laura informed them. “Teyla kicks all our asses, twice over.” Teyla ducked her head in embarrassment.
“I do not know about that,” she insisted in a small voice.
“I do,” John said cheerfully. “Go on. Kick it out of beginner’s mode and show these two newbies how it’s done.” Blushing and slipping out of her shoes, Teyla stepped onto the mat and upped the level to Standard, picking a song called Tsugaru that was all guitars and drums. Really fast guitars and drums. The arrows were flying too fast for Rodney to register, but she moved fluidly, hitting far more than she missed and occasionally knocking the status bar into red and yellow. She got a B for her efforts, and the two on the couch just gawked at her.
“That was...” Carson trailed off.
“Cool,” John finished for him, grinning like a maniac.
“Versus mode!” Laura cried out, snatching up the pad Elizabeth had brought and plugging it into the second controller port. “Dibs on the pad that’s not a piece of junk!”
“Hey, I’ve got a perfectly good dance pad,” John protested.
“Yeah, for ‘88,” Laura shot back. “The left arrow’s worn out. It’s the only reason I got a C earlier.”
“Always the controller’s fault, isn’t it?” Elizabeth teased.
“Yes. It is.”
The rest of the afternoon flew by in a mass of arrows and techno music. Carson was finally dragged onto the pad and scored better than Rodney. Rodney insisted it was because Carson was on the better pad, and they went against each other to prove it. When the two of them had collapsed, Ronon decided he’d sat still long enough and got Teyla to teach him. He was really too big to be light enough on his feet, but he managed not to bring the house down around him. Teyla wowed them again in co-op mode, jumping from one pad to another as the arrows stretched all the way across the screen. Eventually they were all worn down, sprawled across John’s living room as the sun sank outside.
“I should go home,” Carson murmured. “My mum’ll worry.” But he didn’t get up from where he lay at Ronon’s feet. Ronon was in the big armchair, Teyla curled comfortably in his lap. John had stretched out on the couch, Elizabeth on the floor beside him, and Rodney was on his back next to the coffee table. Laura returned from her quest for soda empty-handed.
“I think we drank it all,” she said mournfully. John waved a lazy hand.
“I’ll put it on the grocery list.” Laura sat next to Rodney on the floor, eyed him critically for a moment, and promptly laid down with her head on his stomach.
“Hey!” Rodney sputtered. “What’re you - “
“Your stomach is soft like a pillow is soft,” she declared, and Rodney decided he was too tired to really care. Besides, it was sort of comfortable, a warm weight against his side in the otherwise chilly room. He settled back with his head on his arm and found himself dozing off, subconsciously toying with Laura’s hair, soft between his fingers...
John nudged him awake some hours later, saying it was getting late and he didn’t want him to get in trouble. Teyla was freaking out in the background, saying her parents were going to kill her and Ronon this isn’t funny, stop laughing at me and get your keys. Rodney sat up - Laura had apparently left already - and a slip of paper fell from his chest. Squinting in the light from the window he could just barely read it:
This is my address. Meet me next weekend and I’ll teach you how to not suck.
-Laura
He blinked at it. Was she offering...she was. Holy shit.
Rodney went home considerably happier than when he’d left.
Opportunity rarely labels itself as such. - Unknown
If you didn't know, Dance Dance Revolution or DDR is a highly addictive dance game from Japan. I was actually playing it myself when I got bitten by the crack!bunny.
Author: akimi_hime
Characters/Pairings: McCadman, Shweir, Teyla/Ronon
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: “Dance Dance what?”
Notes: Crackity crack crack. Not to mention one of the few het-oriented fics I’ve written. Which just adds to the total and complete crackness. Which isn’t a word.
Wordcount: 1896
It started out innocently enough. Most fiascoes do. Rodney was fooling around with his woefully outdated chemistry set when the phone rang.
“What?” he snapped into the receiver.
“Good morning, Rodney.” The voice on the other end was inordinately cheerful. It had to be John Sheppard.
“If my parents had bothered to buy me a proper chemistry set instead of this idiocy involving a potato, we’d all be blown sky-high because you couldn’t wait five minutes to call,” he complained.
“Good thing all you’ve got is a potato, then. Listen, are you busy?”
“Yes, I - “
“Good. I need you to come over,” John interrupted. Rodney opened and closed his mouth uselessly.
“Why?”
“You need to see something. And call Carson, would you? I haven’t got his number.”
“Lucky him,” Rodney spat. “I haven’t got time to - “
“Thanks, Rodney!” And with that the line went dead. Rodney looked at his cat, who had enough sense to be hiding under the nearest table.
“The term railroaded comes to mind,” he said bitterly. Hubbell just meowed at him.
Because the chemistry set really was lousy, and Rodney figured he couldn’t afford to tick off one of the few actual friends he had, he and Carson Beckett found themselves on the Sheppard’s front porch.
“Why am I here?” Carson complained in his distinctive brogue.
“Because John said so.”
“And since when do you take orders from John?”
“Look, we both know whatever half-baked plan he’s got will probably end up with one of us in the hospital. I figure if we’re both here, we can overpower him and you can sit on him while I call the insane asylum.”
“Why do I have to sit on him?”
“Because - “ Rodney’s explanation was cut off as the door opened to reveal John Sheppard himself, holding a soda can and wearing a huge grin.
“You came!”
“Against better judgement, yes.” The two of them stepped inside and followed John into the living room, where a small blonde girl was spastically hopping around on a plastic mat hooked to the TV. Small arrows were scrolling up the screen in time with the background music, and she appeared to be dancing to it - sort of.
“What the hell is that?” Rodney demanded, immediately looking around for John’s parents. John laughed.
“My folks aren’t here,” he assured them. “And that is Dance Dance Revolution.”
“Dance Dance what?” Rodney frowned, but Carson sort of chuckled.
“You got it, then?” He moved around to get a better view of the girl’s movements.
“Yep. Put a serious hurting on my wallet, too.”
“Which game is it?”
“Max 2, I think.”
“Hold it!” Rodney all but shouted. “What is it?”
“It’s a game, Rodney.” Carson pointed at the screen. “When those arrows line up, you step on the corresponding arrow on the dance pad.” He pointed at the mat the girl was now merely standing on as a grade popped up on the screen.
“A ‘C’,” she panted, turning around to grab a soda off the coffee table. “Not bad for Standard mode.” As she drank from the can, she seemed to notice Rodney and Carson for the first time. “Oh, crap. You guys snuck up on me. Laura Cadman.” She grinned. John introduced Rodney and Carson and Laura cocked her head at Rodney’s scowl. “He always this friendly?”
“For the most part,” Carson said regretfully. Rodney turned the scowl on him, then John.
“I fail to see why you called me, John. You do know that I - “
“Hate physical activity of any kind?” he finished. “Yes, I know. I just figured you’d want to hang out for a while.” Rodney’s jaw tensed. He honestly didn’t have an answer to that. That kind of sentiment was rarely directed towards him.
“Fine,” he said finally. “I’ll stay, but I am not making a fool of myself on that thing.” John just grinned.
“I didn’t think you would.”
Rodney and Carson settled themselves on the couch to watch Laura and John take turns. Laura seemed to be more adept at it, but that might have been because John kept tripping over his pants legs.
“Why don’t you wear a belt, for Chrissakes?” Laura laughed as John avoiding falling for the third time. “Those bony hips of yours aren’t going to hold those baggy things up by themselves.”
“It’s for your sake,” he answered, straight-faced. “If I did that I’d be kicking your ass at this, and you’d be humiliated. You should thank me.”
“Well thank you, then. It’s sickening what a gentleman you are.” Laura rolled her eyes as John finished his song and promptly collapsed in the floor. Laura stood, grabbing one of Carson’s wrists. “Your turn!” she said cheerfully. Carson turned red.
“Oh, no, I’m not, I mean, I can’t - “
“Come on,” John urged half-heartedly from the carpet. “It’s good for you.”
“Oh aye, you look superb,” Carson retorted. “Do I have to? Rodney needs it more than I do.”
“Hey!” Rodney yelped. “Whose side are you on?” Laura seemed to think Carson was right, though, because she dropped his arm and grabbed Rodney’s. “What? Lemme go!”
“Come on. One round. Beginner’s mode.”
“No!”
“Please? Jesus would want you to.” She pouted at him.
“I’m an atheist,” he snapped.
“Well, then, Nothing would want you to, too. Come on!” She dragged him upright and pushed him towards the mat, kicking John out of the way. Rodney couldn’t do much but stand there as Laura forced him out of his shoes and set the game up. “You were watching; it’s easy. I’ll even set the easiest song for you.”
“First stage!” the song announced as the doorbell rang.
“Yay!” Laura cried. “Elizabeth’s dance pad is here!”
“What?” Rodney exclaimed. “Elizabeth’s here? Elizabeth Weir?”
“Go,” Laura urged. “You’ll miss the steps.” She ran to answer the door as Rodney, mind reeling, just followed her instructions and lined up the arrows, stepping awkwardly on the sides of the pad. Carson helped, timing it for him, but in the background he heard Laura and Elizabeth laughing, plus some voices he wasn’t quite familiar with. Great, so I get to embarrass myself in front of strangers,too. Some insane part of him was thinking it was actually sort of fun, a test of timing and eye-foot coordination. His grade appeared (An E? Is that even possible?) and he made a hasty retreat to the sofa as Laura and Elizabeth came in the living room with a small, slender girl and a huge hulking mass of a boy. John looked at them upside down from where he still lay on the floor.
“Hi Liz,” he said woefully. “Teyla, Dex.” The girl smiled at him, and the mountain grunted slightly.
“Hi, John.” Elizabeth dropped the rolled-up bundle she was carrying and knelt to brush John’s sweaty hair out of his face. “What are you so happy about?”
“Tired,” he said. “DDR ate my soul.”
“Again?” He nodded and she grinned, glancing up at Rodney and Carson on the couch. “Hey, you two.” She jerked her head at the screen. “Had a go yet?”
“Rodney did,” Laura spoke up. “But Carson’s a wuss.”
“You let Rodney out-manly you?” Elizabeth smirked and lifted an eyebrow. Rodney made an indignant protest that was overridden by John sitting up and gesturing at the two strangers.
“This is Teyla Emmagen and Ronon Dex,” he told Rodney and Carson. “I invited Teyla, and knowing Ronon he was already at her house.” Teyla blushed. Ronon just smirked.
“Now you’re about to see some dancing,” Laura informed them. “Teyla kicks all our asses, twice over.” Teyla ducked her head in embarrassment.
“I do not know about that,” she insisted in a small voice.
“I do,” John said cheerfully. “Go on. Kick it out of beginner’s mode and show these two newbies how it’s done.” Blushing and slipping out of her shoes, Teyla stepped onto the mat and upped the level to Standard, picking a song called Tsugaru that was all guitars and drums. Really fast guitars and drums. The arrows were flying too fast for Rodney to register, but she moved fluidly, hitting far more than she missed and occasionally knocking the status bar into red and yellow. She got a B for her efforts, and the two on the couch just gawked at her.
“That was...” Carson trailed off.
“Cool,” John finished for him, grinning like a maniac.
“Versus mode!” Laura cried out, snatching up the pad Elizabeth had brought and plugging it into the second controller port. “Dibs on the pad that’s not a piece of junk!”
“Hey, I’ve got a perfectly good dance pad,” John protested.
“Yeah, for ‘88,” Laura shot back. “The left arrow’s worn out. It’s the only reason I got a C earlier.”
“Always the controller’s fault, isn’t it?” Elizabeth teased.
“Yes. It is.”
The rest of the afternoon flew by in a mass of arrows and techno music. Carson was finally dragged onto the pad and scored better than Rodney. Rodney insisted it was because Carson was on the better pad, and they went against each other to prove it. When the two of them had collapsed, Ronon decided he’d sat still long enough and got Teyla to teach him. He was really too big to be light enough on his feet, but he managed not to bring the house down around him. Teyla wowed them again in co-op mode, jumping from one pad to another as the arrows stretched all the way across the screen. Eventually they were all worn down, sprawled across John’s living room as the sun sank outside.
“I should go home,” Carson murmured. “My mum’ll worry.” But he didn’t get up from where he lay at Ronon’s feet. Ronon was in the big armchair, Teyla curled comfortably in his lap. John had stretched out on the couch, Elizabeth on the floor beside him, and Rodney was on his back next to the coffee table. Laura returned from her quest for soda empty-handed.
“I think we drank it all,” she said mournfully. John waved a lazy hand.
“I’ll put it on the grocery list.” Laura sat next to Rodney on the floor, eyed him critically for a moment, and promptly laid down with her head on his stomach.
“Hey!” Rodney sputtered. “What’re you - “
“Your stomach is soft like a pillow is soft,” she declared, and Rodney decided he was too tired to really care. Besides, it was sort of comfortable, a warm weight against his side in the otherwise chilly room. He settled back with his head on his arm and found himself dozing off, subconsciously toying with Laura’s hair, soft between his fingers...
John nudged him awake some hours later, saying it was getting late and he didn’t want him to get in trouble. Teyla was freaking out in the background, saying her parents were going to kill her and Ronon this isn’t funny, stop laughing at me and get your keys. Rodney sat up - Laura had apparently left already - and a slip of paper fell from his chest. Squinting in the light from the window he could just barely read it:
This is my address. Meet me next weekend and I’ll teach you how to not suck.
-Laura
He blinked at it. Was she offering...she was. Holy shit.
Rodney went home considerably happier than when he’d left.
Opportunity rarely labels itself as such. - Unknown
If you didn't know, Dance Dance Revolution or DDR is a highly addictive dance game from Japan. I was actually playing it myself when I got bitten by the crack!bunny.