Hit the Ground Running (1/2)
Title: Hit the Ground Running
Pairing: Sehun/Lu Han, Sehun/Krystal mentioned
Rating: NC17 (For real this time. Look, I even used the word cock. Several times.)
Summary: In which there is a road trip, no one can figure out how to start a fire, and Lu Han's life is really hard. coming of age au
Warnings: internalized homophobia, brief scene containing homophobic and racist language. The sheer amount of sap and fluff in this also warrants a warning.
~12,000w.
Prompted by the teaser and someone on my tlist who wanted to read road trip fic.
Going back to Korea was harder than Lu Han expected, and he already knew what to expect. It felt strange to say that he was going home to a country that didn't even want him and leaving further and further behind the country that was supposed to be his home. But that was the nature of his life, Lu Han supposed. A life of contradictions.
His mother was there to pick him up from the airport. Lu Han didn't realize just how much he'd missed her until he saw her in front of him, with her curly hair that she'd permed to fit in with the rest of the ahjummas and her arms open wide for him to step into.
She pulled back to get a good look at him. "Did you have a good flight?" She asked in Chinese. Lu Han was grateful to her for that. He always needed to be eased back into Korean.
"Ehhh," Lu Han said with a shrug. It takes about two hours to fly back and forth between Beijing and Incheon and Lu Han usually spends most of that time listening to a mixture of C-pop and K-pop and working on whatever school paper he needed to complete over the holidays or playing with his DS. This time, he was only left with his thoughts that he was going to be back in Korea indefinitely, feeling trapped in his own skin. There was also a crying baby on board.
"Come on, you must be hungry," his mother said, motioning him along. Lu Han slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and followed after her. "Let's go get your luggage. Your father's going to join us for dinner, but we're going to have lunch by ourselves first. What do you feel like eating?"
"Chinese," Lu Han said with a wry smile.
---
"What are your plans after college?" This was the single most frequent question that Lu Han gets asked by relatives, friends, professors, even strangers he'd just met. He wished he knew the answer. He'd dropped off his CV in person at a couple firms just before he left Beijing, hoping that he would be able to land something there right away and be able to stay in China. He hadn't gotten any answer back from any of them yet. He'll have to keep looking, but it won't be in Korea. This he was at least a hundred percent sure of.
Lu Han attached his CV and clicked send to another round of emails to companies looking to hire accountants. He'd been back in Korea for a couple days now and he'd done nothing every day but send CVs. He'd been pragmatic about his studies, and he'd expected to be rewarded for it, to be able to find a job right away, but of course this was his life, and the economy in fucking China had started to slow down a bit upon his graduation. This was how he knew the universe was definitely out to get him.
He checked his weibo and added an update. Life sucks and then you die.
A response came back shortly from Yixing. Charming.
Lu Han clicked back the reply. bby! i miss you :'(
Yixing's response was swift. i sincerely hope you're trolling
seriously though, i hate being back here.
yeah, i know. i hope you find something here and come back soon. the cat misses you.
me too. tell xiao long bao I miss her too.
QQ?
sure.
Lu Han could hear his mother calling him. ah wait never mind. i have to go. talk to you later?
okay
This was when Lu Han heard exactly what his mother was shouting at him about. "Sehun's here, Lu Han. I'm sending him to your room."
---
This could not possibly be the same boy that Lu Han last saw four years ago. Lu Han had come back home periodically for the holidays, but he'd try his best to avoid going outside, so he had not been in touch with Sehun since he first left. Most of the time, he had to stay in anyway, swamped with papers and projects, and he'd managed to convince his parents to let him stay in China during the summers, working odd jobs, living at Yixing's, and whittling away long, sun drenched hours with Yixing and Wu Fan. He would hear about Sehun from time to time from his parents talking about Sehun's parents, old neighbors who'd been one of the first to welcome Lu Han's family when they first came to Korea. They'd since moved away, but Lu Han's parents still kept in touch. How tall Sehun had gotten, how Sehun got himself a girlfriend and they're like the cutest things ever, how Sehun still had trouble with his lisp. But this was the first time he'd laid eyes on him.
He did get a lot taller. He was taller than Lu Han now. Even sitting down, Lu Han could tell. And he'd also grown into his features, no longer the awkward, gangly boy who was much too thin and used to tag along with Lu Han wherever he went. He was leaning casually against the doorway of Lu Han's room, well-defined arms folded against his chest, a smile on his face. This was a boy on the cusp of manhood and ready for it.
"Welcome back, hyung," he greeted warmly.
"Sehun-ah," Lu Han couldn't help reverting back to the way he used to get Sehun's attention, as if none of these years had passed. "Oh my god, what have you been eating? I need some of it." He stood up to prove his point.
Sehun laughed and it made him look younger, like things haven't changed as much as they had. "But hyung, you're not that much shorter than me."
"That's still a couple inches too many," Lu Han said sadly. "This is not the reality I want."
Sehun looked like he was going to say something, but Lu Han's mother popped her head into the room. "You kids hungry?"
Sehun's arm wound around Lu Han's as they made their way into the kitchen. How easy it was to fall back into old patterns, like nothing has changed. But with Sehun, perhaps it hadn't.
"I hope you don't mind that it's Chinese food, Sehun. My baby just got back from China and I guess he's feeling a little homesick," Lu Han's mother said while setting out the bowls and cutlery.
"Oh my god, Ma," Lu Han groaned, forehead meeting the table with a heavy thud.
"I'm at the stage in my life where my only forms of entertainment are Korean dramas and embarrassing you in front of your friends. Just let me have this," his mother said, ruffling Lu Han's hair. "Let me know if you guys need anything else." She waved behind her as she left the kitchen.
Lu Han banged his head against the table a couple more times before picking up his pair of chopsticks to dig dejectedly into his bowl of rice. Sehun was trying not to laugh into his, but he was failing miserably.
"I'm glad my pain and suffering is a source of amusement to you. Someday, when something super embarrassing happens to you, I will laugh," Lu Han vowed. "In your face."
Sehun had the audacity to keep snickering.
"So, how are things?" Lu Han found that he genuinely wanted to know. "What have you been up to?"
Sehun shrugged. "Stuff."
"Ah, spoken like a true eighteen-year-old." Lu Han nodded understandably. "Don't you have a girlfriend now? What's she like?"
Sehun looked up sharply at this. "How did you know?"
"My parents were talking about it the last time I came back," Lu Han explained.
"Oh. It's kind of old news though," Sehun said. "We broke up a couple months ago."
"Aw, why? What did you do?" Lu Han said.
"Why do you assume it was my fault?" Sehun actually pouted. Some things never changes, it seemed.
"Uh, because it always is," Lu Han said matter-of-factly.
"Well, what about you?" Sehun asked. "Do you have one now?"
There were many different ways Lu Han could answer this. He could say, no, I haven't found the right girl yet. No, there wasn't time in between going to my classes, studying, homework, hanging out with friends, getting acquainted with the culture and land of my mother country. No, because I'm gay.
"No," he said simply. "I don't."
---
It was surreal how easy it was to pick things up from where they last left off when it came to Sehun. It had been four years and outwardly, everything had changed so much that Lu Han sometimes wondered how the Sehun he saw now could possibly be that same small, dorky kid who clung to him because Lu Han had protected him from bullies once. But then Sehun would laugh, or he would grasp Lu Han's wrist while he was talking like an afterthought, or how easily he would get embarrassed and smile bashfully to himself, and Lu Han thought, ah, there he is.
He also still had the lisp, although it was a lot less pronounced than when he was a child. Lu Han hoped that the years after he'd left for university had been easier on Sehun in that regard. Lu Han remembered those first few years when he first came to Korea and he, a stranger on unwelcome shores, was relieved that he only spoke with an accent and not a lisp. Those had not been good years for Sehun.
"Um, it's getting late," Sehun said, checking his watch. "I should be heading back."
Lu Han had been completely unaware of the time. "Okay," he said. "Do you need a ride back?"
Sehun shook his head. "I just got my driver's license," he said, sounding proud.
"Now you're truly an adult," Lu Han said, nodding. He walked with Sehun to the front door. "It was really good seeing you again, Sehun."
"Me too," Sehun said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Also, my parents want you to come over for dinner tomorrow night."
"Okay," Lu Han said. "I like how your parents didn't even bother phrasing that into a request."
"I live under a totalitarian dictatorship," Sehun agreed. "My Benevolent Leaders will be happy to hear that you will grace them with your presence."
"Get the fuck out of here," Lu Han said, shoving Sehun out the door.
---
Mr. and Mrs. Oh were college professors who had focused on their academic careers when they were younger and as a result, had had Sehun later in life. There was one time that Lu Han's father wondered if their age was the reason why Sehun has a lisp and Lu Han had to tell him, "A lisp is not exactly a deformity, Ba."
It was Mr. Oh who opened the door when Lu Han arrived to their apartment for dinner. "Who are you?" He asked, eyeing Lu Han suspiciously.
"Mr. Oh, it's me, Lu Han," Lu Han said, body curving instinctively into a slight bow.
"I don't know a Lu Han. Maybe a long time ago, but he hadn't come around in so long that I don't recall a Lu Han. You must have the wrong address," Mr. Oh said, closing the door in Lu Han's face.
"But I'm hungry," Lu Han protested to the door.
It was Sehun who opened it next with a big grin on his face. "Come on, hyung," he said, dragging Lu Han into the apartment.
Mrs. Oh, at least, remembered Lu Han and gave him a big hug when he walked into the kitchen and eventually, Mr. Oh recovered from his amnesia to ask him how things were going and why the hell he hadn't visited them in so long.
"I've been in China," Lu Han said.
"Well, I know that, son, but why haven't you come to visit us when you're home for the holidays?" Mr. Oh asked. "We've all missed you."
Lu Han scratched his head sheepishly. "I'm sorry, things always get super busy around the holidays and they pile on the homework, so it's not really a vacation at all. But I should've visited."
"It's okay," Mr. Oh said. "At least you're here now. I know Sehun is really happy about it."
"Appa," Sehun said, abashed.
Laugh in your face, Lu Han mouthed silently to Sehun. Sehun stuck his tongue out and made a petulant face in response.
Dinner at the Ohs tend to be almost like a deadly game of Russian roulette. Mrs. Oh liked to try out different recipes from different countries and they were often hit or miss, miss being the operative word. Mr. Oh would eat it like there was nothing wrong with salmon that was charred until it looked more black than pink, declaring it another marvelous creation while Lu Han and Sehun choked it down and when they got old enough, sneaking out for a late night meal of dukkbokki and ice cream to make up for dinner.
This time, she made mushroom risotto with more rice sticking to the cooking pan than what she gave to the rest of them.
"Enjoy!" She said.
"Another marvelous creation!" Mr. Oh declared.
Sehun and Lu Han mumbled something incoherent before digging in to the best of their abilities.
Afterwards, Mr. and Mrs. Oh stayed in the kitchen to wash the dishes, ushering Sehun and Lu Han out with, "You guys have a lot of catching up to do. And cleaning this pan might take a while, even as a two-man job."
Lu Han turned to Sehun. "Still hungry?"
The smile on Sehun's face bloomed slowly with recognition. "Fuck yeah." He leaned back towards the kitchen. "Umma, we're heading out!"
It was like nothing had changed.
---
A couple days later, Lu Han got a call from Sehun.
"So, what are your plans for the summer?" Sehun asked.
Lu Han shrugged, even though he knew Sehun couldn't see it over the phone. "Just going to keep applying for jobs and hope something comes up." He hadn't told Sehun that his job search was centered exclusively in China. "Why?"
"Um, well, my parents were organizing some of their paperwork yesterday, trying to get rid of some clutter, and they found an invoice to a purchase that they forgot they made," Sehun said. "Guess what it is."
"Uh, a small island off the coast of Australia?"
"Nope."
"A small island off the coast of Iceland?"
"Nuh-uh."
"A small island-"
"It's not a small island, hyung."
"Okay, okay, what is it then?"
Sehun paused for dramatic effect. "It's an RV!"
"Wait, how do your parents forget that they own an RV?" Lu Han asked incredulously.
"I don't know, they were children of the Seventies. Apparently, there was a lot of drugs involved back then," Sehun said. He continued. "So, I was thinking of hitting the road and maybe heading down the coast and back before university starts."
"That sounds like fun."
Lu Han could hear Sehun perk up by the sound of his voice. "You think so? Great! I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow morning. Bye!"
"Wait!" Lu Han absolutely didn't yell into the phone. "What do you mean you're picking me up at seven? Explain yourself."
Lu Han now heard Sehun shuffling a bit. "I need someone to go with me. I can't really do this alone and my parents said I can only go if I have someone with me."
"Ah, so they want me to babysit again, huh?" Lu Han said, understanding.
It was quiet on the other end for a while. "Yeah," Sehun finally said. "So will you come with me?"
Lu Han thought about it. There really was nothing to do over the summer except wait by his phone for a company to call him in for an interview and seeing how well that was going, it was going to be a long, uneventful wait. And Lu Han had always wanted to do something like this, take to the road on his own, the feeling of independence and self-sufficiency coursing through his veins, see new sights. But he had wanted to do something like this in the never-ending expanse of China, not here.
"Alright," he said. "I'll do it."
---
Lu Han had thrown everything he could think of that he would need into his backpack the night before and showed up punctually in front of Sehun's building the next morning. His mother had simply handed him a wad of won and told him to take care of Sehun before ushering him out the door. It was a nice day, the sun already a pleasant ball of orange in the clear blue sky. It was an auspicious day to begin a road trip.
The RV was parked in front of the building. Lu Han was amazed that they even found room on the street to park the thing. It wasn't especially large, but it definitely took up a lot of space on the small strip of street that Sehun's building was on. Sehun popped his head out from behind the door of the RV and motioned Lu Han to come inside.
"Let me give you the grand tour," Sehun said as he moved around the interior. "This is the living room slash bedroom." He walked two steps. "Here is the kitchen." He turned right. "Here is the shower. We're going to have to use the bathrooms at rest stops along the way." He looked around. "I think that's about it."
The RV was definitely cramped, but everything looked like they're functional and where they're supposed to be. However, there was still something wrong with this picture.
"There's only one bed," Lu Han said.
Sehun blinked. "Oh, my parents said there's an air mattress stuffed in here somewhere." He climbed onto the small bed to reach for the overhead bin and pulled it out, rolled up in its deflated state. "Yep, here it is."
"Also, who's going to be driving this thing?" Lu Han asked out of curiosity.
"I was thinking of taking turns if one of us gets tired or bored," Sehun replied.
"But-but you just got your driver's license," Lu Han couldn't help but point out. "We're all going to die before we even leave Seoul, aren't we?"
"Ye of little faith," Sehun said nonchalantly. "Just watch me."
Lu Han did, gripping the armrests of the passenger seat so tightly, his knuckles were white. Things got a little hairy for a moment there when Sehun didn't see the car turning the corner astride him and he barely missed hitting it, but he managed to get them out onto the open road. It was still early enough in the morning that Sehun and Lu Han had not encountered rush hour on the way.
"I think you just shaved a couple years off my life expectancy," Lu Han said, forehead meeting the dashboard.
Sehun hummed happily.
---
What they never tell you about road trips is that large portions of it can be incredibly boring, nothing but endless stretches of gray asphalt and the cloudless sky so vast and wondrous that Lu Han sometimes had to look away for fear that it would swallow him up.
But it was also relaxing, knowing that he didn't have to do anything, didn't have errands to run, homework to finish, future to worry about (yet). So far, he didn't even have to drive. He didn't have to worry about Sehun killing them all once they got on the open road, so he was able to doze on and off, the passing breeze from the slightly ajar window on his side lulling him to sleep.
He was able to sleep off his exhaustion from waking up at the ass crack of dawn by midmorning, straightening in his seat and trying to shake off the residual drowsiness. The road still stretched ahead of them, unblemished and smooth under the wheels of the RV.
Sehun was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to a rhythm in his head, eyes unwavering ahead of him.
"Anything eventful happen while I was asleep?" Lu Han asked, voice still cottony from sleep.
"I think I might've ran over a squirrel, but that's about it," Sehun replied.
"Ugh." Lu Han wrinkled his nose at the visual. "Was it your first roadkill?"
"Surprisingly, yes!" Sehun said. "Although, I almost ran over my dad's foot when he was first teaching me how to drive. Almost."
"Oh my god," Lu Han laughed. "I kind of wished I'd been there."
Sehun's face didn't change, but his body stiffened just the slightest and the only reason why Lu Han was able to tell was from years of learning how to read Sehun, who had never worn his feelings out for everyone to see.
"Something wrong?" Lu Han asked, concerned.
Just as suddenly, Sehun relaxed again, smiling brightly at Lu Han through the rearview mirror. "Nope."
---
Things got a little too boring on the road for Sehun. This was why Lu Han found himself running for dear life from what appeared to be a rabid dog that had gone through genetic mutation to be three times bigger than what a normal sized canine should be. But more on this later.
This was what happened:
"Hey, look, there's an orchard," Sehun said, taking one hand off the steering wheel to point to Lu Han's right. The rows of apple trees seemed to extend on forever, as far as the eyes can see, the spaces between each one winking in and out of Lu Han's view as the RV drove past.
"Say, I'm getting kind of hungry," Sehun suddenly said and when Lu Han turned to him, Sehun had that mischievous glint in his eyes that meant he was up to no good and wanted to drag Lu Han into it as well.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no," Lu Han said firmly, wishing desperately that he had taken over driving duty a couple miles back.
No generally meant yes in Sehun's book, so before he knew it, the RV had stopped and Lu Han found himself being pulled out of it against his will.
"I am your hyung. You will listen to me," Lu Han said fruitlessly, getting dragged along.
"Come on, it'll be fun," Sehun said, swinging his leg over the flimsy wooden fence that blocked off the orchard from the main road.
Sehun climbed the trees while Lu Han waited down below to catch the apples.
"This is terrible," Lu Han said. "You are a despicable human being and I am totally going to tell your parents." He caught another one of the apples that Sehun tossed down and balanced it precariously with the growing pile in his arms.
"Hey, what are you boys doing?!"
Lu Han whipped around, an apple tipping from his arms. A tall, burly man in a straw hat, no doubt the orchard owner, was glaring at them, looking like he wanted to kill them with his bare hands. And if his hands got tired, he could always sic the dog he had on the leash on them, a mean looking motherfucker that reached up to the height of Lu Han's pelvis and was currently growling menacingly at them, teeth bared.
Lu Han heard Sehun dropping to the ground beside him.
"I think you've angered the beast," Lu Han said.
"Are you referring to the dog or its owner?" Sehun asked.
"I believe this is the part where we RUN," Lu Han said, taking off like a rocket, apples flying everywhere. He could hear Sehun following close behind him. He could also hear the dog barking nonstop as it kept at their heels.
Despite the very immediate mortal peril, Lu Han laughed as he ran for his life, exhilaration bubbling deep inside of him and spilling forth, the adrenaline pumping through his veins fuel for his legs and the pounding of his heart.
---
"It's going to be fun, you said. We're not going to get mauled by scary mutant dogs, you said. You're going to bake us an apple pie as compensation for the trauma you just put me through, you said," Lu Han said accusingly, looking at the road ahead of him, having finally wrestled driving duty from Sehun's possessive grip.
"I can't believe you were able to keep as many apples as you did," Sehun said, impressed. He bit into one with a satisfying crunch.
Lu Han's mobile rang. They both stared at it on the dashboard.
"I'm getting reception," Lu Han marveled.
"Most wired country in the world, hyung," Sehun reminded Lu Han. "If you're going to be answering that, let me drive."
Well, Lu Han's driving stint was short lived. He eased the RV to a stop on the side of the highway and he and Sehun switched seats.
Once settled, Lu Han pressed the call button. "Hello?"
"It's me."
"Wu Fan ge!" Lu Han greeted delightedly, switching to Chinese. Wu Fan was actually a few months younger than he was, but he liked to make fun of him. "Oh my god, how are you?"
"I'm doing good. How are you? Yixing told me you're on a road trip."
"Uh, yes. My friend here in Korea wanted to see the coast before he heads to university this year."
Lu Han could hear one of Wu Fan's eyebrows arch questioningly. "Head to university this year? You have a friend who's eighteen years old?"
"Hey, shut up, okay," Lu Han said. "He's one of the few friends I had growing up."
"Okay, okay," Wu Fan said placatingly. "Sounds like fun, though. I'm glad you're doing it."
"So what's up with you?" Lu Han said.
"No, I was just calling to see how you were doing," Wu Fan said. "And see how your job search was going because I just got hired by a small firm as a junior accountant."
"It's not going so great," Lu Han said dejectedly. "I've sent out a ton of CVs, but no one has bitten."
"You'll find something soon," Wu Fan said confidently. "I know you said you wanted to work in China, but you should submit your CV to some places in Korea too, keep your options open."
"Yeah, I know, but it's not that easy for foreigners to get hired for these kinds of jobs here. The only reason why my dad has a job is because he was transferred," Lu Han said, the last part inevitably coming out a little bitter. "Anyway, I'm really happy for you." He really was.
"I'll keep an eye out for you," Wu Fan promised.
When he got off the phone, he found Sehun giving him the side-eye. "What?"
"That was a lot of Chinese I did not understand," Sehun said sadly.
Lu Han grinned. "That was my friend from China. He found a job." His voice caught on the last word. He wished he didn't feel so bitter because it felt awful not to be completely happy for Wu Fan.
Suddenly, Lu Han wanted to call it a day. It was getting late anyway, stars starting to chase the last remaining shades of orange and purple from the sky.
"I'm going to lie down for a while," he said to Sehun.
"Hmm," Sehun hummed.
---
They came across their first beach, one with pristine white sand and gentle water that glistened like diamonds when the rays of the sun bounced off it. A few scattered people dotted the beach, but it was theirs for the taking. Sehun and Lu Han changed into their swimming trunks and raced each other into the cold water, so cold that it made Lu Han gasp and shiver before his body adjusted. Sehun emerged the victor in the race and in retaliation, Lu Han tackled him into the water, letting the current carry them without resistance. They popped back up to the surface, sputtering, out of breath, and grinning like idiots at each other. Lu Han finally stopped shivering.
Later, when they'd worn themselves out in the water, they walked along the shore, Sehun picking up interesting looking seashells and showing them to Lu Han. He had put on these bright yellow plastic sunglasses that should look ridiculous and they really do, perched high up on Sehun's pale nose. He looked impossibly young.
Sehun caught Lu Han staring and he straightened. He didn't say anything, his face a stoic mask behind those sunglasses as he looked back at Lu Han. Lu Han suddenly wished he could see Sehun's eyes.
"Sometimes I forget how young you are," Lu Han said and he couldn't help raising his hand to touch Sehun's cheek, soft and unblemished under his light fingers, expecting Sehun to flinch away. To his surprise, he didn't.
"I'm not that young anymore, hyung," Sehun murmured softly.
Lu Han saw himself reflected in the black shades of the sunglasses, looking small and faded out. Sehun was everything that he wasn't. Strong, carried himself with a sense of belonging and purpose, confident, beautiful, young. It was more than four years that separated them. There were oceans, as vast as this one, between them.
Lu Han looked away. "I'm hungry. Race you to the lobster shack," he said. This time, Lu Han won and when he looked back, he saw that their feet had made prints in the sand next to each other for as far as his eyes could see.
Part 2
Pairing: Sehun/Lu Han, Sehun/Krystal mentioned
Rating: NC17 (For real this time. Look, I even used the word cock. Several times.)
Summary: In which there is a road trip, no one can figure out how to start a fire, and Lu Han's life is really hard. coming of age au
Warnings: internalized homophobia, brief scene containing homophobic and racist language. The sheer amount of sap and fluff in this also warrants a warning.
~12,000w.
Prompted by the teaser and someone on my tlist who wanted to read road trip fic.
Going back to Korea was harder than Lu Han expected, and he already knew what to expect. It felt strange to say that he was going home to a country that didn't even want him and leaving further and further behind the country that was supposed to be his home. But that was the nature of his life, Lu Han supposed. A life of contradictions.
His mother was there to pick him up from the airport. Lu Han didn't realize just how much he'd missed her until he saw her in front of him, with her curly hair that she'd permed to fit in with the rest of the ahjummas and her arms open wide for him to step into.
She pulled back to get a good look at him. "Did you have a good flight?" She asked in Chinese. Lu Han was grateful to her for that. He always needed to be eased back into Korean.
"Ehhh," Lu Han said with a shrug. It takes about two hours to fly back and forth between Beijing and Incheon and Lu Han usually spends most of that time listening to a mixture of C-pop and K-pop and working on whatever school paper he needed to complete over the holidays or playing with his DS. This time, he was only left with his thoughts that he was going to be back in Korea indefinitely, feeling trapped in his own skin. There was also a crying baby on board.
"Come on, you must be hungry," his mother said, motioning him along. Lu Han slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and followed after her. "Let's go get your luggage. Your father's going to join us for dinner, but we're going to have lunch by ourselves first. What do you feel like eating?"
"Chinese," Lu Han said with a wry smile.
---
"What are your plans after college?" This was the single most frequent question that Lu Han gets asked by relatives, friends, professors, even strangers he'd just met. He wished he knew the answer. He'd dropped off his CV in person at a couple firms just before he left Beijing, hoping that he would be able to land something there right away and be able to stay in China. He hadn't gotten any answer back from any of them yet. He'll have to keep looking, but it won't be in Korea. This he was at least a hundred percent sure of.
Lu Han attached his CV and clicked send to another round of emails to companies looking to hire accountants. He'd been back in Korea for a couple days now and he'd done nothing every day but send CVs. He'd been pragmatic about his studies, and he'd expected to be rewarded for it, to be able to find a job right away, but of course this was his life, and the economy in fucking China had started to slow down a bit upon his graduation. This was how he knew the universe was definitely out to get him.
He checked his weibo and added an update. Life sucks and then you die.
A response came back shortly from Yixing. Charming.
Lu Han clicked back the reply. bby! i miss you :'(
Yixing's response was swift. i sincerely hope you're trolling
seriously though, i hate being back here.
yeah, i know. i hope you find something here and come back soon. the cat misses you.
me too. tell xiao long bao I miss her too.
QQ?
sure.
Lu Han could hear his mother calling him. ah wait never mind. i have to go. talk to you later?
okay
This was when Lu Han heard exactly what his mother was shouting at him about. "Sehun's here, Lu Han. I'm sending him to your room."
---
This could not possibly be the same boy that Lu Han last saw four years ago. Lu Han had come back home periodically for the holidays, but he'd try his best to avoid going outside, so he had not been in touch with Sehun since he first left. Most of the time, he had to stay in anyway, swamped with papers and projects, and he'd managed to convince his parents to let him stay in China during the summers, working odd jobs, living at Yixing's, and whittling away long, sun drenched hours with Yixing and Wu Fan. He would hear about Sehun from time to time from his parents talking about Sehun's parents, old neighbors who'd been one of the first to welcome Lu Han's family when they first came to Korea. They'd since moved away, but Lu Han's parents still kept in touch. How tall Sehun had gotten, how Sehun got himself a girlfriend and they're like the cutest things ever, how Sehun still had trouble with his lisp. But this was the first time he'd laid eyes on him.
He did get a lot taller. He was taller than Lu Han now. Even sitting down, Lu Han could tell. And he'd also grown into his features, no longer the awkward, gangly boy who was much too thin and used to tag along with Lu Han wherever he went. He was leaning casually against the doorway of Lu Han's room, well-defined arms folded against his chest, a smile on his face. This was a boy on the cusp of manhood and ready for it.
"Welcome back, hyung," he greeted warmly.
"Sehun-ah," Lu Han couldn't help reverting back to the way he used to get Sehun's attention, as if none of these years had passed. "Oh my god, what have you been eating? I need some of it." He stood up to prove his point.
Sehun laughed and it made him look younger, like things haven't changed as much as they had. "But hyung, you're not that much shorter than me."
"That's still a couple inches too many," Lu Han said sadly. "This is not the reality I want."
Sehun looked like he was going to say something, but Lu Han's mother popped her head into the room. "You kids hungry?"
Sehun's arm wound around Lu Han's as they made their way into the kitchen. How easy it was to fall back into old patterns, like nothing has changed. But with Sehun, perhaps it hadn't.
"I hope you don't mind that it's Chinese food, Sehun. My baby just got back from China and I guess he's feeling a little homesick," Lu Han's mother said while setting out the bowls and cutlery.
"Oh my god, Ma," Lu Han groaned, forehead meeting the table with a heavy thud.
"I'm at the stage in my life where my only forms of entertainment are Korean dramas and embarrassing you in front of your friends. Just let me have this," his mother said, ruffling Lu Han's hair. "Let me know if you guys need anything else." She waved behind her as she left the kitchen.
Lu Han banged his head against the table a couple more times before picking up his pair of chopsticks to dig dejectedly into his bowl of rice. Sehun was trying not to laugh into his, but he was failing miserably.
"I'm glad my pain and suffering is a source of amusement to you. Someday, when something super embarrassing happens to you, I will laugh," Lu Han vowed. "In your face."
Sehun had the audacity to keep snickering.
"So, how are things?" Lu Han found that he genuinely wanted to know. "What have you been up to?"
Sehun shrugged. "Stuff."
"Ah, spoken like a true eighteen-year-old." Lu Han nodded understandably. "Don't you have a girlfriend now? What's she like?"
Sehun looked up sharply at this. "How did you know?"
"My parents were talking about it the last time I came back," Lu Han explained.
"Oh. It's kind of old news though," Sehun said. "We broke up a couple months ago."
"Aw, why? What did you do?" Lu Han said.
"Why do you assume it was my fault?" Sehun actually pouted. Some things never changes, it seemed.
"Uh, because it always is," Lu Han said matter-of-factly.
"Well, what about you?" Sehun asked. "Do you have one now?"
There were many different ways Lu Han could answer this. He could say, no, I haven't found the right girl yet. No, there wasn't time in between going to my classes, studying, homework, hanging out with friends, getting acquainted with the culture and land of my mother country. No, because I'm gay.
"No," he said simply. "I don't."
---
It was surreal how easy it was to pick things up from where they last left off when it came to Sehun. It had been four years and outwardly, everything had changed so much that Lu Han sometimes wondered how the Sehun he saw now could possibly be that same small, dorky kid who clung to him because Lu Han had protected him from bullies once. But then Sehun would laugh, or he would grasp Lu Han's wrist while he was talking like an afterthought, or how easily he would get embarrassed and smile bashfully to himself, and Lu Han thought, ah, there he is.
He also still had the lisp, although it was a lot less pronounced than when he was a child. Lu Han hoped that the years after he'd left for university had been easier on Sehun in that regard. Lu Han remembered those first few years when he first came to Korea and he, a stranger on unwelcome shores, was relieved that he only spoke with an accent and not a lisp. Those had not been good years for Sehun.
"Um, it's getting late," Sehun said, checking his watch. "I should be heading back."
Lu Han had been completely unaware of the time. "Okay," he said. "Do you need a ride back?"
Sehun shook his head. "I just got my driver's license," he said, sounding proud.
"Now you're truly an adult," Lu Han said, nodding. He walked with Sehun to the front door. "It was really good seeing you again, Sehun."
"Me too," Sehun said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Also, my parents want you to come over for dinner tomorrow night."
"Okay," Lu Han said. "I like how your parents didn't even bother phrasing that into a request."
"I live under a totalitarian dictatorship," Sehun agreed. "My Benevolent Leaders will be happy to hear that you will grace them with your presence."
"Get the fuck out of here," Lu Han said, shoving Sehun out the door.
---
Mr. and Mrs. Oh were college professors who had focused on their academic careers when they were younger and as a result, had had Sehun later in life. There was one time that Lu Han's father wondered if their age was the reason why Sehun has a lisp and Lu Han had to tell him, "A lisp is not exactly a deformity, Ba."
It was Mr. Oh who opened the door when Lu Han arrived to their apartment for dinner. "Who are you?" He asked, eyeing Lu Han suspiciously.
"Mr. Oh, it's me, Lu Han," Lu Han said, body curving instinctively into a slight bow.
"I don't know a Lu Han. Maybe a long time ago, but he hadn't come around in so long that I don't recall a Lu Han. You must have the wrong address," Mr. Oh said, closing the door in Lu Han's face.
"But I'm hungry," Lu Han protested to the door.
It was Sehun who opened it next with a big grin on his face. "Come on, hyung," he said, dragging Lu Han into the apartment.
Mrs. Oh, at least, remembered Lu Han and gave him a big hug when he walked into the kitchen and eventually, Mr. Oh recovered from his amnesia to ask him how things were going and why the hell he hadn't visited them in so long.
"I've been in China," Lu Han said.
"Well, I know that, son, but why haven't you come to visit us when you're home for the holidays?" Mr. Oh asked. "We've all missed you."
Lu Han scratched his head sheepishly. "I'm sorry, things always get super busy around the holidays and they pile on the homework, so it's not really a vacation at all. But I should've visited."
"It's okay," Mr. Oh said. "At least you're here now. I know Sehun is really happy about it."
"Appa," Sehun said, abashed.
Laugh in your face, Lu Han mouthed silently to Sehun. Sehun stuck his tongue out and made a petulant face in response.
Dinner at the Ohs tend to be almost like a deadly game of Russian roulette. Mrs. Oh liked to try out different recipes from different countries and they were often hit or miss, miss being the operative word. Mr. Oh would eat it like there was nothing wrong with salmon that was charred until it looked more black than pink, declaring it another marvelous creation while Lu Han and Sehun choked it down and when they got old enough, sneaking out for a late night meal of dukkbokki and ice cream to make up for dinner.
This time, she made mushroom risotto with more rice sticking to the cooking pan than what she gave to the rest of them.
"Enjoy!" She said.
"Another marvelous creation!" Mr. Oh declared.
Sehun and Lu Han mumbled something incoherent before digging in to the best of their abilities.
Afterwards, Mr. and Mrs. Oh stayed in the kitchen to wash the dishes, ushering Sehun and Lu Han out with, "You guys have a lot of catching up to do. And cleaning this pan might take a while, even as a two-man job."
Lu Han turned to Sehun. "Still hungry?"
The smile on Sehun's face bloomed slowly with recognition. "Fuck yeah." He leaned back towards the kitchen. "Umma, we're heading out!"
It was like nothing had changed.
---
A couple days later, Lu Han got a call from Sehun.
"So, what are your plans for the summer?" Sehun asked.
Lu Han shrugged, even though he knew Sehun couldn't see it over the phone. "Just going to keep applying for jobs and hope something comes up." He hadn't told Sehun that his job search was centered exclusively in China. "Why?"
"Um, well, my parents were organizing some of their paperwork yesterday, trying to get rid of some clutter, and they found an invoice to a purchase that they forgot they made," Sehun said. "Guess what it is."
"Uh, a small island off the coast of Australia?"
"Nope."
"A small island off the coast of Iceland?"
"Nuh-uh."
"A small island-"
"It's not a small island, hyung."
"Okay, okay, what is it then?"
Sehun paused for dramatic effect. "It's an RV!"
"Wait, how do your parents forget that they own an RV?" Lu Han asked incredulously.
"I don't know, they were children of the Seventies. Apparently, there was a lot of drugs involved back then," Sehun said. He continued. "So, I was thinking of hitting the road and maybe heading down the coast and back before university starts."
"That sounds like fun."
Lu Han could hear Sehun perk up by the sound of his voice. "You think so? Great! I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow morning. Bye!"
"Wait!" Lu Han absolutely didn't yell into the phone. "What do you mean you're picking me up at seven? Explain yourself."
Lu Han now heard Sehun shuffling a bit. "I need someone to go with me. I can't really do this alone and my parents said I can only go if I have someone with me."
"Ah, so they want me to babysit again, huh?" Lu Han said, understanding.
It was quiet on the other end for a while. "Yeah," Sehun finally said. "So will you come with me?"
Lu Han thought about it. There really was nothing to do over the summer except wait by his phone for a company to call him in for an interview and seeing how well that was going, it was going to be a long, uneventful wait. And Lu Han had always wanted to do something like this, take to the road on his own, the feeling of independence and self-sufficiency coursing through his veins, see new sights. But he had wanted to do something like this in the never-ending expanse of China, not here.
"Alright," he said. "I'll do it."
---
Lu Han had thrown everything he could think of that he would need into his backpack the night before and showed up punctually in front of Sehun's building the next morning. His mother had simply handed him a wad of won and told him to take care of Sehun before ushering him out the door. It was a nice day, the sun already a pleasant ball of orange in the clear blue sky. It was an auspicious day to begin a road trip.
The RV was parked in front of the building. Lu Han was amazed that they even found room on the street to park the thing. It wasn't especially large, but it definitely took up a lot of space on the small strip of street that Sehun's building was on. Sehun popped his head out from behind the door of the RV and motioned Lu Han to come inside.
"Let me give you the grand tour," Sehun said as he moved around the interior. "This is the living room slash bedroom." He walked two steps. "Here is the kitchen." He turned right. "Here is the shower. We're going to have to use the bathrooms at rest stops along the way." He looked around. "I think that's about it."
The RV was definitely cramped, but everything looked like they're functional and where they're supposed to be. However, there was still something wrong with this picture.
"There's only one bed," Lu Han said.
Sehun blinked. "Oh, my parents said there's an air mattress stuffed in here somewhere." He climbed onto the small bed to reach for the overhead bin and pulled it out, rolled up in its deflated state. "Yep, here it is."
"Also, who's going to be driving this thing?" Lu Han asked out of curiosity.
"I was thinking of taking turns if one of us gets tired or bored," Sehun replied.
"But-but you just got your driver's license," Lu Han couldn't help but point out. "We're all going to die before we even leave Seoul, aren't we?"
"Ye of little faith," Sehun said nonchalantly. "Just watch me."
Lu Han did, gripping the armrests of the passenger seat so tightly, his knuckles were white. Things got a little hairy for a moment there when Sehun didn't see the car turning the corner astride him and he barely missed hitting it, but he managed to get them out onto the open road. It was still early enough in the morning that Sehun and Lu Han had not encountered rush hour on the way.
"I think you just shaved a couple years off my life expectancy," Lu Han said, forehead meeting the dashboard.
Sehun hummed happily.
---
What they never tell you about road trips is that large portions of it can be incredibly boring, nothing but endless stretches of gray asphalt and the cloudless sky so vast and wondrous that Lu Han sometimes had to look away for fear that it would swallow him up.
But it was also relaxing, knowing that he didn't have to do anything, didn't have errands to run, homework to finish, future to worry about (yet). So far, he didn't even have to drive. He didn't have to worry about Sehun killing them all once they got on the open road, so he was able to doze on and off, the passing breeze from the slightly ajar window on his side lulling him to sleep.
He was able to sleep off his exhaustion from waking up at the ass crack of dawn by midmorning, straightening in his seat and trying to shake off the residual drowsiness. The road still stretched ahead of them, unblemished and smooth under the wheels of the RV.
Sehun was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to a rhythm in his head, eyes unwavering ahead of him.
"Anything eventful happen while I was asleep?" Lu Han asked, voice still cottony from sleep.
"I think I might've ran over a squirrel, but that's about it," Sehun replied.
"Ugh." Lu Han wrinkled his nose at the visual. "Was it your first roadkill?"
"Surprisingly, yes!" Sehun said. "Although, I almost ran over my dad's foot when he was first teaching me how to drive. Almost."
"Oh my god," Lu Han laughed. "I kind of wished I'd been there."
Sehun's face didn't change, but his body stiffened just the slightest and the only reason why Lu Han was able to tell was from years of learning how to read Sehun, who had never worn his feelings out for everyone to see.
"Something wrong?" Lu Han asked, concerned.
Just as suddenly, Sehun relaxed again, smiling brightly at Lu Han through the rearview mirror. "Nope."
---
Things got a little too boring on the road for Sehun. This was why Lu Han found himself running for dear life from what appeared to be a rabid dog that had gone through genetic mutation to be three times bigger than what a normal sized canine should be. But more on this later.
This was what happened:
"Hey, look, there's an orchard," Sehun said, taking one hand off the steering wheel to point to Lu Han's right. The rows of apple trees seemed to extend on forever, as far as the eyes can see, the spaces between each one winking in and out of Lu Han's view as the RV drove past.
"Say, I'm getting kind of hungry," Sehun suddenly said and when Lu Han turned to him, Sehun had that mischievous glint in his eyes that meant he was up to no good and wanted to drag Lu Han into it as well.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no," Lu Han said firmly, wishing desperately that he had taken over driving duty a couple miles back.
No generally meant yes in Sehun's book, so before he knew it, the RV had stopped and Lu Han found himself being pulled out of it against his will.
"I am your hyung. You will listen to me," Lu Han said fruitlessly, getting dragged along.
"Come on, it'll be fun," Sehun said, swinging his leg over the flimsy wooden fence that blocked off the orchard from the main road.
Sehun climbed the trees while Lu Han waited down below to catch the apples.
"This is terrible," Lu Han said. "You are a despicable human being and I am totally going to tell your parents." He caught another one of the apples that Sehun tossed down and balanced it precariously with the growing pile in his arms.
"Hey, what are you boys doing?!"
Lu Han whipped around, an apple tipping from his arms. A tall, burly man in a straw hat, no doubt the orchard owner, was glaring at them, looking like he wanted to kill them with his bare hands. And if his hands got tired, he could always sic the dog he had on the leash on them, a mean looking motherfucker that reached up to the height of Lu Han's pelvis and was currently growling menacingly at them, teeth bared.
Lu Han heard Sehun dropping to the ground beside him.
"I think you've angered the beast," Lu Han said.
"Are you referring to the dog or its owner?" Sehun asked.
"I believe this is the part where we RUN," Lu Han said, taking off like a rocket, apples flying everywhere. He could hear Sehun following close behind him. He could also hear the dog barking nonstop as it kept at their heels.
Despite the very immediate mortal peril, Lu Han laughed as he ran for his life, exhilaration bubbling deep inside of him and spilling forth, the adrenaline pumping through his veins fuel for his legs and the pounding of his heart.
---
"It's going to be fun, you said. We're not going to get mauled by scary mutant dogs, you said. You're going to bake us an apple pie as compensation for the trauma you just put me through, you said," Lu Han said accusingly, looking at the road ahead of him, having finally wrestled driving duty from Sehun's possessive grip.
"I can't believe you were able to keep as many apples as you did," Sehun said, impressed. He bit into one with a satisfying crunch.
Lu Han's mobile rang. They both stared at it on the dashboard.
"I'm getting reception," Lu Han marveled.
"Most wired country in the world, hyung," Sehun reminded Lu Han. "If you're going to be answering that, let me drive."
Well, Lu Han's driving stint was short lived. He eased the RV to a stop on the side of the highway and he and Sehun switched seats.
Once settled, Lu Han pressed the call button. "Hello?"
"It's me."
"Wu Fan ge!" Lu Han greeted delightedly, switching to Chinese. Wu Fan was actually a few months younger than he was, but he liked to make fun of him. "Oh my god, how are you?"
"I'm doing good. How are you? Yixing told me you're on a road trip."
"Uh, yes. My friend here in Korea wanted to see the coast before he heads to university this year."
Lu Han could hear one of Wu Fan's eyebrows arch questioningly. "Head to university this year? You have a friend who's eighteen years old?"
"Hey, shut up, okay," Lu Han said. "He's one of the few friends I had growing up."
"Okay, okay," Wu Fan said placatingly. "Sounds like fun, though. I'm glad you're doing it."
"So what's up with you?" Lu Han said.
"No, I was just calling to see how you were doing," Wu Fan said. "And see how your job search was going because I just got hired by a small firm as a junior accountant."
"It's not going so great," Lu Han said dejectedly. "I've sent out a ton of CVs, but no one has bitten."
"You'll find something soon," Wu Fan said confidently. "I know you said you wanted to work in China, but you should submit your CV to some places in Korea too, keep your options open."
"Yeah, I know, but it's not that easy for foreigners to get hired for these kinds of jobs here. The only reason why my dad has a job is because he was transferred," Lu Han said, the last part inevitably coming out a little bitter. "Anyway, I'm really happy for you." He really was.
"I'll keep an eye out for you," Wu Fan promised.
When he got off the phone, he found Sehun giving him the side-eye. "What?"
"That was a lot of Chinese I did not understand," Sehun said sadly.
Lu Han grinned. "That was my friend from China. He found a job." His voice caught on the last word. He wished he didn't feel so bitter because it felt awful not to be completely happy for Wu Fan.
Suddenly, Lu Han wanted to call it a day. It was getting late anyway, stars starting to chase the last remaining shades of orange and purple from the sky.
"I'm going to lie down for a while," he said to Sehun.
"Hmm," Sehun hummed.
---
They came across their first beach, one with pristine white sand and gentle water that glistened like diamonds when the rays of the sun bounced off it. A few scattered people dotted the beach, but it was theirs for the taking. Sehun and Lu Han changed into their swimming trunks and raced each other into the cold water, so cold that it made Lu Han gasp and shiver before his body adjusted. Sehun emerged the victor in the race and in retaliation, Lu Han tackled him into the water, letting the current carry them without resistance. They popped back up to the surface, sputtering, out of breath, and grinning like idiots at each other. Lu Han finally stopped shivering.
Later, when they'd worn themselves out in the water, they walked along the shore, Sehun picking up interesting looking seashells and showing them to Lu Han. He had put on these bright yellow plastic sunglasses that should look ridiculous and they really do, perched high up on Sehun's pale nose. He looked impossibly young.
Sehun caught Lu Han staring and he straightened. He didn't say anything, his face a stoic mask behind those sunglasses as he looked back at Lu Han. Lu Han suddenly wished he could see Sehun's eyes.
"Sometimes I forget how young you are," Lu Han said and he couldn't help raising his hand to touch Sehun's cheek, soft and unblemished under his light fingers, expecting Sehun to flinch away. To his surprise, he didn't.
"I'm not that young anymore, hyung," Sehun murmured softly.
Lu Han saw himself reflected in the black shades of the sunglasses, looking small and faded out. Sehun was everything that he wasn't. Strong, carried himself with a sense of belonging and purpose, confident, beautiful, young. It was more than four years that separated them. There were oceans, as vast as this one, between them.
Lu Han looked away. "I'm hungry. Race you to the lobster shack," he said. This time, Lu Han won and when he looked back, he saw that their feet had made prints in the sand next to each other for as far as his eyes could see.
Part 2