happy birthday to my sanity, i love you more than oxygen.
The more I think about it the more I realize, it's just too difficult to be third, or even fourth or fifth priority to someone who once was first to me. I want to go somewhere and just open myself to anything that will come. It's too easy to assume that everybody is going to save you. It's too difficult to realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. And it's too goddamn hard to grasp the concept of saving yourself. Because I should have saved myself a long time ago.
I'm just standing at this point in my life where everything means so much more than it used to, and is supposed to. Every mistake that is made costs so much more than it should and every time you slip up I slip further away. Every movement is deliberate and thorough. Every word is articulated into more than the shaping of the lips and beating of a tongue. Every word becomes a physical impact and I am being blown away.
Here's the thing: I can't be bothered with this. I can't keep caring about petty feuds and minor technicalities when there is a bigger picture ahead of me and it is so bleak. I can't keep caring about how you can't even remember my name because I have to prepare for this long stretch of time ahead of me. I have to get ready to read this run-on sentence where every word hurts and every space and bit of punctuation is just there to add emphasis to how terrible I am going to feel. I have to prepare and realize that there is no way out of this. That I am going to have to walk through these letters, spaces and commas because backing out will be a bigger mistake than when I fell in love with you. Past tense.
You are not the answer. You were never the answer. You were only the catalyst to this.
I'm not trying to change your life I'm just trying to work with my own.
You make every thing so painful to remember.In every word I have written I can feel you, feel your pressure against my ribcage, crashing into my heart that is pounding inside of me. Pounding for you, always for you, everything is for you. Was.
You are a past tense, a faded picture in a tarnished frame that I've forgotten inside the cellar of an old Victorian house for new tenants to discard with their morning trash. They can never see the story written across your face, following the curves of your body, seeping into the darks of your eyes the way that I wanted to. You are the vowels and I am a sentence, misconstrued and almost nonexistent now that you are gone. I've memorized this story, but without the book I am almost reluctant to know it all as well as I do.
And what would a Kristin post be without some lyrics :
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
The saddest part is that you couldn't wait two months.
I'm just standing at this point in my life where everything means so much more than it used to, and is supposed to. Every mistake that is made costs so much more than it should and every time you slip up I slip further away. Every movement is deliberate and thorough. Every word is articulated into more than the shaping of the lips and beating of a tongue. Every word becomes a physical impact and I am being blown away.
Here's the thing: I can't be bothered with this. I can't keep caring about petty feuds and minor technicalities when there is a bigger picture ahead of me and it is so bleak. I can't keep caring about how you can't even remember my name because I have to prepare for this long stretch of time ahead of me. I have to get ready to read this run-on sentence where every word hurts and every space and bit of punctuation is just there to add emphasis to how terrible I am going to feel. I have to prepare and realize that there is no way out of this. That I am going to have to walk through these letters, spaces and commas because backing out will be a bigger mistake than when I fell in love with you. Past tense.
You are not the answer. You were never the answer. You were only the catalyst to this.
I'm not trying to change your life I'm just trying to work with my own.
You make every thing so painful to remember.In every word I have written I can feel you, feel your pressure against my ribcage, crashing into my heart that is pounding inside of me. Pounding for you, always for you, everything is for you. Was.
You are a past tense, a faded picture in a tarnished frame that I've forgotten inside the cellar of an old Victorian house for new tenants to discard with their morning trash. They can never see the story written across your face, following the curves of your body, seeping into the darks of your eyes the way that I wanted to. You are the vowels and I am a sentence, misconstrued and almost nonexistent now that you are gone. I've memorized this story, but without the book I am almost reluctant to know it all as well as I do.
And what would a Kristin post be without some lyrics :
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
The saddest part is that you couldn't wait two months.