Turning to the East for guidance

[shesnoemu]

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman in the midst of this world, where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?  What's the proper salutation between people as they pass each other in this flood?

-Buddha

Comments

[mharrawo]

Well, Sue's answer would be something like this: Be Kind, Be Decent, Work real hard to see other people.

[shesnoemu]

People are complex. No one is perfect. No one is 100% decent or kind, even if they want to believe they are. We're all clinging to existence and all very insecure because of that, no?

I guess compassion is the most important thing. Even in situations of great misunderstanding.

[mharrawo]

You're right, of course. I think Sue's point would be that the choice to be decent is always simple and always clear. We watched The Secret Life of Bees, which was strange for me since I grew up in that very part of South Carolina during that time. The little girl was 14 in 1964, just like me. I've often wondered about the photos of lynchings with all these assholes grinning into the camera. What would it have taken in those times NOT to be a grinning asshole, when everybody you know is doing it. I've often reproached Berkeley political correctness for trying to impeach Shakespeare or Rabelais for failing to be Berkeley liberals. But I also very much believe with Sue that we can see the humanity of other people if we choose. Don't you think all artists think the same thing?

[shesnoemu]

No, I don't think all artists thing the same way. I also think that everyone approaches kindness/decency in different ways. Our realities are shaped by our own perspective. One person's kindness can be another person's idea of condescension, depending on the history of those people and their experiences throughout life.

[mharrawo]

Well, you have nicely stated the problem. While I can't reproach Shakespeare for not writing a feminist comedy I do feel that the grinning assholes at the lynchings ought just to have known better. This, by the way, is totally the point of Hannah Arendt's book Eichmann in Jerusalem is about. There is a point in The Plague where a character says "All I know is that there are people and there are pestilences and our it is our duty, in so far as possible, not to take sides with the pestilences." I think I get this, especially in the context of The Occupation or The Holocaust, in which Camus and Arendt write.

[shesnoemu]

I don't think we're having the same conversation really. Or rather, these are very different contexts that probably shouldn't be compared. But I have to say that most decent people wouldn't enjoy seeing another person humiliated, hurt, tortured or murdered. Then again, something like the abortion issue seems to be one of those examples of situations that the grey area takes effect. It's ok to murder a human being if they are involved in helping women have abortions, because in the end human life is precious. It's in the Bible! See where the logic goes with that one! People find ways to excuse or justify their behavior, even if it is appalling to others. Did you see the film "The Reader"?

[shesnoemu]

I've witnessed quite a lot of selfish behavior this year. I've found myself on the receiving end of quite a bit of it actually. What I have noticed is that most of these individuals consider themselves to be decent, loving, Gd fearing people, but then suddenly they feel jealous, or they feel slighted or wronged or they are upset because you aren't behaving the way they want you. Maybe they feel you are attacking their belief system? Who knows. Language and human behavior are complicated. It's easy for someone to justify throwing another human being out of their apartment without notice because they have decided they don't want you there anymore. Does that mean it's the kind, fair or just thing to do?

[shesnoemu]

Maybe the easiest thing to assume is that people aren't decent or kind. That in the end, were are driven more by self-preservation and self-centered motives. It's taking a very Hobbesian approach to human behavior I suppose, but perhaps it's true. I used to assume that most individuals knew how to treat others respectfully but I've found that isn't true. Sometimes the behavior is out of misunderstanding, sometimes it's done out of jealousy or hostility, sometimes it's just pure cold-hearted, sadistic behavior. Why though? Maybe these individuals have all been hurt and are afraid of vulnerability in some way or they are insecure about themselves and have found ways to build up their defenses. I don't know. I don't claim to understand it at all.