Fic: In Times of Need (Criminal Minds, Hotch/JJ
Title: In Times of Need
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/JJ
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Slight for 4.7 Memoriam
Summary: An experience on a case has Hotch thinking things he shouldn't--and he's not the only one.
Warning: Discussion of dead bodies in regards to the case.
Notes: Written for smittywing, because we were both bemoaning the lack of Hotch/JJ fic out there. Not the easiest pairing to match up with canon, but this is set sometime in the future of the show, and making the assumption that JJ and Will don't work out. 5000 words.
Aaron set his shoulder further to the left and heaved again--but it was no good. Patches of rust dotted the surface of the door, but the metal itself was solid, untouched by the years it had been in place. Maybe he would have had a chance wearing down the hinges set in the limestone around them, but he'd heard Parker drop a bar in place before he'd taken off. Something thick and sturdy enough that there was no way he was going to budge it.
"Hotch," JJ said quietly. She touched his shoulder briefly, then pointed to the stained gouges in the rock around the metal plate. Nail marks--signs of desperation that he'd hoped she wouldn't notice. "We're not getting out of here, are we?"
"Reid will figure it out," he murmured. He turned his back on the entrance to the mine and aimed his flashlight at the rest of the space. The ceiling was low, only a couple of inches above his head, rough and uneven and supported by rickety-looking wooden beams. The shaft stretched maybe thirty yards before rubble blocked the passage. Rubble, and a pair of human bodies, badly decomposed. He swung his flashlight to the right, where he knew Jessica McPherson's body lay. He'd been at her side, checking for a pulse, when Parker had gotten the drop on them.
"Do you think--" JJ broke off when the ground started to shake. Not from below, like an earthquake. From above and all around them, the support beams groaning and dust raining down. They both pressed closer to the door, arms above their heads as they waited for it to end. It was two minutes, maybe, before the beams stopped sounding like amplified rocking chairs and the small rock debris stopped pelting the floor. The dust hung thick around them, the particulates trapped by the moisture-heavy air.
"Wow," she finally said. "Whatever that was, I'm pretty sure I don't like it."
"A train." It wasn't hard to piece together what he knew of the area with what had happened. "There are tracks on the other side of the valley."
"Which means it's going to shake like that whenever one comes through?"
Aaron nodded. "That would be my guess."
"Well, how often is that?" JJ's voice was level, but just barely. He didn't blame her; he was pretty sure those support beams weren't going to take a lot more abuse before they gave out for good.
"That'd be a question for Reid." Aaron swung his flashlight again, hoping to find some other escape route. The space was dim, but not completely dark, the last rays of sunset piercing the thin cracks around the door. Air flowed through the cracks as well, so at least they weren't going to suffocate. As long as the mountain didn't fall on top of them, anyway.
"He'll figure it out," JJ said, parroting his earlier assurance. "He knows that we were going to check on Parker. All he has to do is look for us."
"Right." As long as Reid didn't assume they'd moved on, still someplace out of cell range. As long as he could find the entrance to the mine in the dark, obscured by brush as it was. As long as Parker wasn't waiting for Reid, too. Aaron shook off that thought; it didn't fit the profile. Parker was a coward, a hedonistic comfort killer, capturing and killing for profit more than pleasure. Locking them in here had been about getting away, not about making another pair of kills. He'd be long gone by the time Reid got here.
Aaron turned his flashlight towards the ground. Three feet past Jessica McPherson's body the dirt floor changed to a square of wooden planks. He skirted around her body and started to squat next to the boards--only to be stopped by JJ's hand on his arm again.
"Be careful," she said. "That's probably covering a vertical shaft. The edges can be really unstable."
Aaron raised an eyebrow.
"Grew up in rural Pennsylvania, remember?"
Aaron smiled. "I bow to your expertise, then." JJ smiled back at him, which was good. A sign that she was keeping her head together, that she wasn't going to give in to fear any time soon. Not that he thought she would, but they all had their breaking points. At least neither of them were claustrophobic. Or afraid of the dark.
JJ walked away, her own flashlight out as she studied the rubble. She bent down, then turned around, holding out a two-foot length of wood.
"Nice." He traded her his flashlight for the wood. The ends were splintered and it didn't look that strong, but at least it would give him a little distance. He slid it into a gap on the far edge, and started to pry. The planks weren't nailed down, but they were heavy. He'd just managed to shift the closest one a few inches when the board in his hand snapped in two. He tossed it aside. JJ handed him a flashlight, and then they both leaned forward to peer over the edge.
There was nothing but black. Black, and a reeking smell that had him pulling back out of reflex. That reek was full of wet, eggy sulfur and slowly-decomposing bodies. JJ gagged, but she didn't vomit. Aaron was grateful; he wasn't sure if he'd be able to control his own stomach if she did. He shoved both halves of his broken lever over the hole, but he couldn't tell if it helped the smell any. The stench was deep in his nose, in the back of his throat, coating his tongue.
"Come on," he said, guiding JJ away from the deep shaft with a hand on her elbow. "We're not going to get out that way."
She coughed a couple times as they retreated towards the door. Aaron urged her towards the slight breeze that worked its way between the spaces, but he didn't know that it would help much. The smell from Jessica and the other two victims had been pervasive, but bearable. But the hydrogen sulfide he'd just released was a real danger. He had no idea if it was at toxic levels, or how long they'd have to be exposed before it caused damage, but the sooner they were out of here, the better.
"There are more bodies down there, aren't there? He used it as a dump."
Aaron nodded. "Probably. But he got sloppy, didn't clean up after himself, and nature took over."
JJ shook her head. "I can't imagine anything coming in here willingly."
But something had. Something looking for an easy meal had dragged bones back out, and they were lucky it had. Otherwise Parker might have gone on killing for years. They might not have him in custody yet, but he would be before the night was out. Aaron was sure of that.
"We should probably turn off our flashlights. Save the batteries in case we need them later." JJ's voice was less hoarse now, which made it easier to hear the slight shake in it. She didn't wait for a response from him, though. Ever practical, she eased into a cross-legged position, then turned her light off and tucked it into her shirt pocket. Aaron was loath to do the same. Not because of the dark. He paced a few paces away and began inching his light over the walls of the mine. He didn't really expect to find another way out, but he had to try.
"Reid will figure it out," JJ said again when he'd finished his inspection of the ceiling. He turned the light her way, but she didn't look up. She brisked her hands over her shoulders, and Aaron realized how much the temperature had dropped. The mine was near enough to the surface that it didn't hold a steady temperature, especially with the cooler evening air that was making its way in. JJ was in a thin cotton shirt, and he'd left his suit jacket behind when they set out searching the property.
"Are you doing okay?" He crouched down beside her, shining the light at their feet so it wouldn't feel like an interrogation. This close, he could see the hair prickled up on her bare forearms and a faint cloud from her breath.
She smiled up at him. "Besides being locked in an unstable mine shaft with multiple decaying bodies and poisonous gas clouds? Totally fine."
Aaron snorted. He switched off his light, then shuffled around until he had his back pressed up against the door and his shoulder against her shoulder. Then he raised his arm. JJ took the offer without him having to say anything, tucking herself into his side as naturally as if they'd done it a thousand times before.
Just like Haley used to do.
He tried to hold himself back, to give her the warmth that she needed and take nothing in return, but his muscles were relaxing without his permission. JJ's quiet sigh didn't make it any easier to stay aloof. He dropped his arm off her shoulders, down across her back, so she could cuddle in tighter.
"Better?" he asked softly, though he already knew it was. His front was comfortably warm now, almost enough to counteract the cold iron against his back.
She nodded, face still pressed against his chest. "Thank you," she said, sounding a little sheepish, and he realized that she was probably as uncomfortably comfortable as he was. More, maybe, because while JJ had no problem using her softer side to accomplish whatever needed to be done for the greater good, she always strove to stay tough around the team.
"Were there a lot of abandoned mines where you grew up?"
He could feel her nod. "All over the place. When I was ten, a boy in my class fell down a shaft while he was out playing in the woods. They found him the next day, but it was too late. He'd broken his leg badly when he landed, and I guess between that and exposure... Anyway, after that the school had this whole program about abandoned mines and being careful in the woods, that kind of stuff."
She'd gone tense in his arms. Aaron tightened his hold, and after a moment she sighed and relaxed. "Was that the first time someone you knew died?"
"I guess so," she said quietly. "I've never really thought about it before. My grandfather died a year later, from cancer. That was pretty awful, but my mom kind of prepared me for it. It wasn't a shock like Jacob." She snorted.
"What?"
"I told Derek and Spence that I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods. I guess you find out all kinds of stuff about yourself in this job."
Mostly bad kinds of stuff, in his experience. But not always. And sometimes the things he learned about his team made up for it. "I thought you told them quite a tall tale about that, actually. Something about a camp counselor?"
JJ laughed. "Which one of them ratted me out?"
"Neither. I'm a profiler, remember?"
JJ didn't say anything. Instead, she poked her finger into his side. Hard.
Aaron chuckled. "I overheard them telling the story to Prentiss." Reid and Morgan had been hovering over her desk, smiling and laughing as she stared up at them wide-eyed, absorbing all their stories. It had been the first time he'd been sure that no matter what politics had brought her to the BAU, Emily Prentiss was a good fit. Especially if those two were okay with giving her dirt on JJ. "You know, that's pretty impressive. Fooling two profilers like that."
She shrugged. "They weren't looking for a lie."
And knowing that is why you'd make a terrific profiler. He didn't say it, though. She'd made it clear that she was happy in her job, and he had no doubt that she'd make a change if she wasn't. William LaMontaigne, Jr. had proved that point.
JJ turned her head and coughed into the dark. The rank smell in the air was still thick, but it hadn't seemed quite as bad while they were talking. Perception was such a fickle thing, easily confused by any number of tricks of the mind. He wasn't sure if it was the distraction, or if his nose had become numb to rot and sulfur. She turned her head back, into his chest, and he realized she was pressing her nose against his shirt, using him to mask the smell. And that he himself had his chin tucked down, nose only inches away from the sweet, fruity scent of her hair. A tropical fruitiness, like mangoes or papaya, although the trace of shampoo was muted by JJ herself, and less pleasantly, by the mine.
Aaron shifted, trying to pull back some, mentally as much as physically.
"I'm sorry," JJ said, moving her hip away from his. "My gun's probably digging into your side, isn't it?"
"You're fine," he murmured, but she kept that small distance between them. It should have been better that way, but without that aching circle to sharpen his focus, Aaron kept forgetting to remind himself not to enjoy the warmth in his arms.
"Can I ask you something? Parent to parent?"
"Sure. I can't promise to have an answer, though."
"How do you rationalize it? Being away from Jack so much?" JJ raised her head. "Sorry. That sounded like an accusation, didn't it? I didn't mean it like that."
"No, I know." Aaron took a deep breath. "I guess I've just gotten to the point where I've ceded everything to Haley. That it doesn't matter if I'm gone, because she's always going to be more important to his life."
"Because she's his mother." The words were bitter, and Aaron was pretty sure they didn't have anything to do with him.
"JJ, if you need time off--"
"No." She tensed, and he thought she was going to pull away, maybe even stand up, but she stayed where she was. "Unless you can somehow create more time in a day, but that's not what I'm saying. It's important to me, Hotch. What we do. What I do. But that doesn't mean that Henry's not the most important thing..."
"Of course not, JJ. Nobody thinks that." He tightened his arm, and she relaxed against him again with a huge gust of breath.
"I just hope he agrees with you when he gets older."
Aaron didn't have anything to say to that. He was pretty sure Jack was going to resent him for his absences when he was old enough to understand, no matter how much time he tried to squeeze out of his schedule to make up for it. But he couldn't tell JJ that, and he couldn't tell her that everything would be okay just because she wanted it to be.
He never seemed to have the answers his people needed.
Neither of them tried to continue the conversation, and after a while, JJ's breathing evened out. He wasn't sure if she was asleep or nearly just, but it didn't matter. They'd been working non-stop since they arrived, and he knew that JJ had been on the verge of exhaustion before. Full-time agent, full-time mom was an impossible equation.
He ignored the part of his brain that was telling him she wouldn't be able to fall asleep in these conditions if she didn't trust him completely.
*****
Two weeks later.
Aaron let the drapes fall back into place. The Minneapolis sky was clear, nearly cloudless. No sign of the turbulence in Virginia that was keeping them grounded tonight. Not that it should make any difference where he spent the night; even if they'd flown out this evening, he wouldn't have made it back in time to stop by Haley's. He'd been able to call earlier to say goodnight to Jack, had gotten to hear his little boy stories all about his day, and that was as much as he'd hoped for.
No, the restless disappointment that ate at him wasn't on his own behalf. The others started making plans almost as soon as they got word of their layover, Morgan and Prentiss and Dave and even Reid offering up suggestions for a night out on the town. But JJ had been quiet, letting herself fade out of notice with a soft goodnight. Aaron knew he couldn't do anything to change the weather, but he still wished that he could get her back home, back to her son. Maybe that would take away the distance that had been in her eyes ever since they'd been rescued from Parker's hell hole.
And he desperately wanted to take away the distance in JJ's eyes.
Aaron turned away from the window and marched back to the small desk. He had plenty of paperwork to keep him occupied until he was tired enough to go to sleep. The files were open, waiting for him to sit down and get to work.
Someone knocked on his door.
Someone was JJ.
Aaron slid the chain off and opened the door, and she slipped in wordlessly, hands wrapped around her upper arms like she was cold. Or like she was protecting herself. He watched her walk towards the same spot he'd just been standing at and stop. She stared down at the open files on the desk, but he knew she wasn't reading.
"JJ?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Of course." He touched her shoulder, urging her to sit in the desk chair. He sat on the edge of the bed. Their knees were only inches apart, but he leaned forward so that he could study her face more easily. "What's wrong?"
"The smell from the mine." She let go of her left arm so that she could stroke the delicate curve right under her chin. "I can still taste it."
"It's been bothering you since we got out?" Aaron frowned when JJ nodded. "Have you talked to someone?"
"I talked to Dr. Wainslow about getting trapped. But it's not even that I'm still shook up about the whole thing." JJ dropped her hand, letting her right forearm dangle across the left, like she wanted to reach for something but had forgotten what. "It's just the smell. It catches me by surprise. I'll take a drink of water, or turn my head, and all of the sudden it's there again, deep in my throat. I don't understand why I can't just get rid of it."
"The sense of smell is linked to our most powerful memory centers. You need to short-circuit the trigger, replace it with something else."
JJ snorted. "That's the problem. I think I already have."
Aaron waited, but she turned her head, looking over at the desk while she rolled her fingers together. She was embarrassed. Uncomfortable--with him. "You can tell me," he coaxed. "It won't affect your standing with the BAU, I promise."
She smiled down at her hands. "If only the BAU was what I'm worried about."
Him personally, then. He swallowed his questions, forcing himself to stay still, to not reach out, as she gathered her courage.
"Whenever I started to smell it," she said so softly he could barely hear her, "I would grope for anything good. Any thought that would take me away from that."
Aaron nodded. "That's natural."
"Except the thing that I always found myself taking comfort in..." She took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. "I keep remembering the way you smell. The way it felt to have your arms around me. How safe I felt, and..."
He tightened his grip on her arm before he could stop himself. He needed to let go, stand up, back away, but JJ turned her head, meeting his eyes. The distance in hers was gone at last, and in its place was the emotion he'd both feared and hoped to see.
"You should leave," he said hoarsely.
"I know." JJ smiled, that same wry smile she'd had earlier. The one that said she'd seen the picture on the puzzle box before she came here tonight, but needed to put the all the pieces together anyway. Just in case it turned out different.
"JJ," he pleaded, but he wasn't sure whether he was asking her to go or stay.
Her hand shook as she brought it up. He could feel the tremble when she brushed her fingers across his cheekbone. He could barely breathe, and a faint pink stained her cheeks, but she didn't pull back. "You always have dark circles under your eyes these days. But it's not the cases, is it?"
Aaron caught her hand, but he didn't pull it away from his face. "Not exactly. It's not having anyone to come home to, to take away the pain."
JJ stroked her thumb across his skin. "I know."
Aaron leaned forward at the same time she did. Their lips met gently, but the kiss hit him deep in the chest, in the part where he locked away the trembles and cries and despair of night. He was sliding forward, off the bed and onto his knees before he really thought about it. She was taller than him this way, looking down on him with a Madonna-like beneficence as she settled her hands against the back of his neck. Her fingers stroked softly, over the intuition hairs, and he couldn't help reaching up to cradle her face and draw her down for one more kiss.
"You really want me to go, don't you?" she asked after he pulled back.
"I think this would be a very bad idea." He touched the very corner of her mouth with his thumb, where he could feel her muscles were working hard against giving away her emotions. "But what I think and what I want are two very different things."
"Then maybe I should get to decide." She kissed him again, and as he started to lose himself in her mouth she shifted forward, parting her legs to wrap her thighs around his hips. There was no question now, not when she was drawing him closer, forcing him to rise higher on his knees until his hardness met her heat. JJ's breath hitched, stuttering into his mouth. He slipped his hands down, cupping her ass, and then he curled his toes under him and stood up.
JJ gasped and tightened her arms around his neck. "Oh, wow."
Aaron snorted. "I might not be Morgan, but I do have one or two moves."
JJ laughed. "Mmm. Of that, I have no doubt."
He smiled, feeling his lips curl up in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, slightly dirty and teasing. He walked her to the bed, around to the side rather than the foot, and sat down so that JJ was in his lap. She dropped her hands to his chest, fingers moving deftly on the buttons of his shirt as they exchanged soft, exploratory kisses. She curled outward, shoulder blades pressing into his hands while she pulled the hem out of his pants with short, sharp tugs. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders--and then she huffed out a laugh.
"I don't know why I was thinking that the metaphorical layers would be the only ones I'd have to get through," she said, plucking at his undershirt.
Aaron took the hint, quickly stripping it up and over his head. He couldn't think of anything to say to that, so he kissed her again and then began working on her buttons. He hesitated at parting the lapels; he shouldn't be looking her like this. It'd be easier in the dark, where he could pretend that he didn't know her as well as he knew every other member of his team. But this shouldn't be easy to pretend away. If he was going to do this--if they were going to do this--there shouldn't be any shrinking away. So he opened her blouse--and looked. Looked at her like a man who wanted to see a beautiful woman.
Her breasts were definitely beautiful. She wore a beige satin bra, simply formed but edged with a thin thread of lace. Practical but pretty and feminine, just like JJ herself. He pushed her blouse all the way off of her shoulders and let it drop. She'd stopped wearing her ring before the divorce, but he knew the necklace she was wearing was one that William gave her. Aaron brushed his thumbs over her collar bones, avoiding the chain. His own wounds were distant, scarring over, but hers were still fresh. And-- She was unsure under his eyes. Her gaze was on his chest, his hands, over his shoulder--anywhere but his face. From everything JJ had told him, from what he knew from her body language, the rift between her and Will hadn't been because they didn't want each other. But someone at some point had done a number on JJ's ego.
"Hey," he said, cupping her chin. He didn't try to coax her head up, but he wanted her to know that he saw her. "You're beautiful, JJ. You are."
She looked up. He tried to let the truth of it show on his face, tried to counterbalance every time he'd forced his eyes to slide over her unseeing. He held her gaze, waiting, until a wry smile flashed across her lips and she rolled her eyes.
"Thank you," she said, and though her voice had that dry timber that it sometimes got when she was flustered, he could tell she meant it. Then her face relaxed and her shoulders too, and she brushed her fingertips across his lips. "You are, too."
She said it so sincerely that a warmth that had nothing to do with sex settled deep in his belly. He could almost think that she was talking about who he was inside, and not his stress-worn face. Before he could get lost in maudlin longing, JJ reached behind her and unhooked her bra. She dropped it to the side, off the bed, and then pressed against his chest, guiding him backwards to the bed. They shifted around until they were more or less lying lengthwise, side by side. He started touching her then, softly over her collar bones and throat, down the line of her sternum, and then skimming out over her breasts. He watched her as he cupped her right breast, as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. Watched her arch into his hand as he palmed her gently, watched as she seemed to shrink away with a more firm touch. He couldn't see her face when he took her nipple into his mouth, no matter how he strained his eyes, but her loud gasp was confirmation enough. He kept his tongue flat for a while, stroking her over and over until she was breathing hard and arching into him, and then he began to suck. That earned him a moan.
"Hotch," she said, pushing against his jaw, then on his shoulder when he eased up. He rolled with her coaxing, over onto his back, waiting for whatever she wanted to do.
She slid her hand over his belly and down. Over the fabric of his pants until she was stroking his cock. Aaron opened his mouth to breathe. It'd been so long since he'd been touched, let alone touched like this, with the cloth both dulling and intensifying sensation, that he'd forgotten what it felt like. Like teenagers sneaking touches in a darkened room while the television flickered in front of them, full of thrill and promise, but most of all the sheer pleasure in the moment.
The sound of a zipper sliding down broke him out of his hedonistic haze. JJ half sat up and squirmed out of her dress pants. Aaron did the same. He hesitated with his underwear, but JJ slipped a finger under his waistband and snapped it.
"Sorry," she said, but she was grinning devilishly. And she'd taken off her panties while he wasn't looking. "I'm a little impatient."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, and complied. Before he could plan ahead to anything further, she was straddling his thighs, so close that he could feel her slick heat. "We should--"
"No accidents this time," she promised, with a little eyeroll that he could tell was meant for herself. "I'm guessing you don't have anything in your go bag, but there hasn't been anybody but Will in a long time. It's up to you."
He could see in her eyes that she'd profiled his own sexual history accurately enough. But... "Are you sure?"
Instead of answering out loud, she eased back, intent telegraphed so clearly that he could have stopped her. In theory, anyway, because he was only a man. A man who hadn't had sex in a really long time. He started to groan as she took him in, but he clamped his mouth shut before it was too loud. The walls in hotel rooms were never thick, and Morgan and Dave were on either side of him.
She began moving slowly. Aaron let her lead, instead reaching up to hold her swinging breasts and rub her nipples again. She picked up the pace and he moved with her. She moved faster and harder, until Aaron was desperate to hang on--and then she stopped.
"I can't," she whispered, head hanging. "I'm close, but--"
"You don't have to do it all yourself, you know." Aaron smiled as he dropped his right hand, and was glad to see her smile back.
"I know. I'm just--"
"Impatient?"
"Horny," she said, with a little laugh that made him groan again.
He rocked his knuckle between her curls, sliding into her wetness until he found her swollen clit. She was nearly still over him, hips barely rocking back and forth as she held him where she wanted him. Aaron breathed through his nose, holding himself under tight control as he sped his finger. Her hair was wild around her, some strands flying with static and others stuck dark to her skin, her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip. He could feel how close she was getting, her muscles getting tighter around him and her thighs vise-tight on his hips. She opened her mouth when she came, but she didn't cry out. Like she'd trained herself to be silent.
Aaron wanted to take her there again, but he was aching with his own need now, too much to hold back. But he could do his best to make it good for her--just not in this position. He sat up, holding her to him with one arm, and rolled them over.
"Oh." JJ panted softly, then she smiled up at him. "You always have to be in charge, don't you?"
"JJ..." Aaron dropped his head. It shouldn't ache so badly. He was buried deep inside a beautiful woman, sharing a beautiful moment--but he'd thought she knew him better than that.
"Hotch. Hotch, look at me." She smacked his shoulder, lightly, and kept her hand there until he raised his head. "It was a joke, okay? A joke. I know you--"
He kissed her. Kissed her until the ache and shame sank back below the surface, and then he started to thrust.
"Oh, God," she moaned, but softly enough that he thought it would be okay. And he almost didn't care about being found out at this point. He was sweating with the effort to stay in control, to satisfy her, to not lose himself to what he wanted most. He thrust over and over until her mouth was working with silent Ohs and her muscles clenched again.
And then he let go. His orgasm hit faster and harder than he remembered, a dam of sensation bursting so fast he almost couldn't feel it all. He buried his face in JJ's throat, breathing open-mouthed against her skin as he came in wave after wave. It ebbed slowly, and he came down with JJ petting the back of his neck. He rested there for a minute, enjoying their closeness, then he withdrew and slid to the side. JJ turned, and he held his arm up so that she could settle into his side.
He didn't miss the parallel, and he didn't think she did, either. He held her close, thankful that they were safe, and that they were here, now, together.
"Mmm," she said sometime later, shifting in his arms. "Sex with a profiler definitely has it's benefits."
Aaron chuckled. The amusement didn't last long, though. The reasons for not doing this were still there, even more so now that they'd crossed the line. He took a breath. "JJ..."
"I know, Hotch." JJ sighed. "But... Thank you."
Aaron shook his head. "You don't have to thank me."
"I don't mean the sex. Although, wow, yeah." Her breath huffed against his chest, stirring his hair. Aaron tightened his arms, glad for her honesty. "It's just that I've always appreciated how you treat me. That I'm never just a pretty face to you. But sometimes...Sometimes I want to be both, you know?"
"You are." Aaron brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek. "I can see both, even if I can never acknowledge that."
She pushed herself up onto one elbow and smiled down at him. "I should go," she said, and leaned down to kiss him. Aaron knew she meant it as a goodbye, but he was too touch-starved not to respond to her lips. JJ went with it easily, and sweetness turned passionate just like that.
They were both breathing hard when she pulled away from him. "Or maybe I could stay a little while longer."
"A little while," he agreed, rolling onto his side so that he could curve her body into his. JJ's smile was sad, so he did his best to kiss it away.
Morning was still hours away, and they could sleep on the plane.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/JJ
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Slight for 4.7 Memoriam
Summary: An experience on a case has Hotch thinking things he shouldn't--and he's not the only one.
Warning: Discussion of dead bodies in regards to the case.
Notes: Written for smittywing, because we were both bemoaning the lack of Hotch/JJ fic out there. Not the easiest pairing to match up with canon, but this is set sometime in the future of the show, and making the assumption that JJ and Will don't work out. 5000 words.
Aaron set his shoulder further to the left and heaved again--but it was no good. Patches of rust dotted the surface of the door, but the metal itself was solid, untouched by the years it had been in place. Maybe he would have had a chance wearing down the hinges set in the limestone around them, but he'd heard Parker drop a bar in place before he'd taken off. Something thick and sturdy enough that there was no way he was going to budge it.
"Hotch," JJ said quietly. She touched his shoulder briefly, then pointed to the stained gouges in the rock around the metal plate. Nail marks--signs of desperation that he'd hoped she wouldn't notice. "We're not getting out of here, are we?"
"Reid will figure it out," he murmured. He turned his back on the entrance to the mine and aimed his flashlight at the rest of the space. The ceiling was low, only a couple of inches above his head, rough and uneven and supported by rickety-looking wooden beams. The shaft stretched maybe thirty yards before rubble blocked the passage. Rubble, and a pair of human bodies, badly decomposed. He swung his flashlight to the right, where he knew Jessica McPherson's body lay. He'd been at her side, checking for a pulse, when Parker had gotten the drop on them.
"Do you think--" JJ broke off when the ground started to shake. Not from below, like an earthquake. From above and all around them, the support beams groaning and dust raining down. They both pressed closer to the door, arms above their heads as they waited for it to end. It was two minutes, maybe, before the beams stopped sounding like amplified rocking chairs and the small rock debris stopped pelting the floor. The dust hung thick around them, the particulates trapped by the moisture-heavy air.
"Wow," she finally said. "Whatever that was, I'm pretty sure I don't like it."
"A train." It wasn't hard to piece together what he knew of the area with what had happened. "There are tracks on the other side of the valley."
"Which means it's going to shake like that whenever one comes through?"
Aaron nodded. "That would be my guess."
"Well, how often is that?" JJ's voice was level, but just barely. He didn't blame her; he was pretty sure those support beams weren't going to take a lot more abuse before they gave out for good.
"That'd be a question for Reid." Aaron swung his flashlight again, hoping to find some other escape route. The space was dim, but not completely dark, the last rays of sunset piercing the thin cracks around the door. Air flowed through the cracks as well, so at least they weren't going to suffocate. As long as the mountain didn't fall on top of them, anyway.
"He'll figure it out," JJ said, parroting his earlier assurance. "He knows that we were going to check on Parker. All he has to do is look for us."
"Right." As long as Reid didn't assume they'd moved on, still someplace out of cell range. As long as he could find the entrance to the mine in the dark, obscured by brush as it was. As long as Parker wasn't waiting for Reid, too. Aaron shook off that thought; it didn't fit the profile. Parker was a coward, a hedonistic comfort killer, capturing and killing for profit more than pleasure. Locking them in here had been about getting away, not about making another pair of kills. He'd be long gone by the time Reid got here.
Aaron turned his flashlight towards the ground. Three feet past Jessica McPherson's body the dirt floor changed to a square of wooden planks. He skirted around her body and started to squat next to the boards--only to be stopped by JJ's hand on his arm again.
"Be careful," she said. "That's probably covering a vertical shaft. The edges can be really unstable."
Aaron raised an eyebrow.
"Grew up in rural Pennsylvania, remember?"
Aaron smiled. "I bow to your expertise, then." JJ smiled back at him, which was good. A sign that she was keeping her head together, that she wasn't going to give in to fear any time soon. Not that he thought she would, but they all had their breaking points. At least neither of them were claustrophobic. Or afraid of the dark.
JJ walked away, her own flashlight out as she studied the rubble. She bent down, then turned around, holding out a two-foot length of wood.
"Nice." He traded her his flashlight for the wood. The ends were splintered and it didn't look that strong, but at least it would give him a little distance. He slid it into a gap on the far edge, and started to pry. The planks weren't nailed down, but they were heavy. He'd just managed to shift the closest one a few inches when the board in his hand snapped in two. He tossed it aside. JJ handed him a flashlight, and then they both leaned forward to peer over the edge.
There was nothing but black. Black, and a reeking smell that had him pulling back out of reflex. That reek was full of wet, eggy sulfur and slowly-decomposing bodies. JJ gagged, but she didn't vomit. Aaron was grateful; he wasn't sure if he'd be able to control his own stomach if she did. He shoved both halves of his broken lever over the hole, but he couldn't tell if it helped the smell any. The stench was deep in his nose, in the back of his throat, coating his tongue.
"Come on," he said, guiding JJ away from the deep shaft with a hand on her elbow. "We're not going to get out that way."
She coughed a couple times as they retreated towards the door. Aaron urged her towards the slight breeze that worked its way between the spaces, but he didn't know that it would help much. The smell from Jessica and the other two victims had been pervasive, but bearable. But the hydrogen sulfide he'd just released was a real danger. He had no idea if it was at toxic levels, or how long they'd have to be exposed before it caused damage, but the sooner they were out of here, the better.
"There are more bodies down there, aren't there? He used it as a dump."
Aaron nodded. "Probably. But he got sloppy, didn't clean up after himself, and nature took over."
JJ shook her head. "I can't imagine anything coming in here willingly."
But something had. Something looking for an easy meal had dragged bones back out, and they were lucky it had. Otherwise Parker might have gone on killing for years. They might not have him in custody yet, but he would be before the night was out. Aaron was sure of that.
"We should probably turn off our flashlights. Save the batteries in case we need them later." JJ's voice was less hoarse now, which made it easier to hear the slight shake in it. She didn't wait for a response from him, though. Ever practical, she eased into a cross-legged position, then turned her light off and tucked it into her shirt pocket. Aaron was loath to do the same. Not because of the dark. He paced a few paces away and began inching his light over the walls of the mine. He didn't really expect to find another way out, but he had to try.
"Reid will figure it out," JJ said again when he'd finished his inspection of the ceiling. He turned the light her way, but she didn't look up. She brisked her hands over her shoulders, and Aaron realized how much the temperature had dropped. The mine was near enough to the surface that it didn't hold a steady temperature, especially with the cooler evening air that was making its way in. JJ was in a thin cotton shirt, and he'd left his suit jacket behind when they set out searching the property.
"Are you doing okay?" He crouched down beside her, shining the light at their feet so it wouldn't feel like an interrogation. This close, he could see the hair prickled up on her bare forearms and a faint cloud from her breath.
She smiled up at him. "Besides being locked in an unstable mine shaft with multiple decaying bodies and poisonous gas clouds? Totally fine."
Aaron snorted. He switched off his light, then shuffled around until he had his back pressed up against the door and his shoulder against her shoulder. Then he raised his arm. JJ took the offer without him having to say anything, tucking herself into his side as naturally as if they'd done it a thousand times before.
Just like Haley used to do.
He tried to hold himself back, to give her the warmth that she needed and take nothing in return, but his muscles were relaxing without his permission. JJ's quiet sigh didn't make it any easier to stay aloof. He dropped his arm off her shoulders, down across her back, so she could cuddle in tighter.
"Better?" he asked softly, though he already knew it was. His front was comfortably warm now, almost enough to counteract the cold iron against his back.
She nodded, face still pressed against his chest. "Thank you," she said, sounding a little sheepish, and he realized that she was probably as uncomfortably comfortable as he was. More, maybe, because while JJ had no problem using her softer side to accomplish whatever needed to be done for the greater good, she always strove to stay tough around the team.
"Were there a lot of abandoned mines where you grew up?"
He could feel her nod. "All over the place. When I was ten, a boy in my class fell down a shaft while he was out playing in the woods. They found him the next day, but it was too late. He'd broken his leg badly when he landed, and I guess between that and exposure... Anyway, after that the school had this whole program about abandoned mines and being careful in the woods, that kind of stuff."
She'd gone tense in his arms. Aaron tightened his hold, and after a moment she sighed and relaxed. "Was that the first time someone you knew died?"
"I guess so," she said quietly. "I've never really thought about it before. My grandfather died a year later, from cancer. That was pretty awful, but my mom kind of prepared me for it. It wasn't a shock like Jacob." She snorted.
"What?"
"I told Derek and Spence that I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods. I guess you find out all kinds of stuff about yourself in this job."
Mostly bad kinds of stuff, in his experience. But not always. And sometimes the things he learned about his team made up for it. "I thought you told them quite a tall tale about that, actually. Something about a camp counselor?"
JJ laughed. "Which one of them ratted me out?"
"Neither. I'm a profiler, remember?"
JJ didn't say anything. Instead, she poked her finger into his side. Hard.
Aaron chuckled. "I overheard them telling the story to Prentiss." Reid and Morgan had been hovering over her desk, smiling and laughing as she stared up at them wide-eyed, absorbing all their stories. It had been the first time he'd been sure that no matter what politics had brought her to the BAU, Emily Prentiss was a good fit. Especially if those two were okay with giving her dirt on JJ. "You know, that's pretty impressive. Fooling two profilers like that."
She shrugged. "They weren't looking for a lie."
And knowing that is why you'd make a terrific profiler. He didn't say it, though. She'd made it clear that she was happy in her job, and he had no doubt that she'd make a change if she wasn't. William LaMontaigne, Jr. had proved that point.
JJ turned her head and coughed into the dark. The rank smell in the air was still thick, but it hadn't seemed quite as bad while they were talking. Perception was such a fickle thing, easily confused by any number of tricks of the mind. He wasn't sure if it was the distraction, or if his nose had become numb to rot and sulfur. She turned her head back, into his chest, and he realized she was pressing her nose against his shirt, using him to mask the smell. And that he himself had his chin tucked down, nose only inches away from the sweet, fruity scent of her hair. A tropical fruitiness, like mangoes or papaya, although the trace of shampoo was muted by JJ herself, and less pleasantly, by the mine.
Aaron shifted, trying to pull back some, mentally as much as physically.
"I'm sorry," JJ said, moving her hip away from his. "My gun's probably digging into your side, isn't it?"
"You're fine," he murmured, but she kept that small distance between them. It should have been better that way, but without that aching circle to sharpen his focus, Aaron kept forgetting to remind himself not to enjoy the warmth in his arms.
"Can I ask you something? Parent to parent?"
"Sure. I can't promise to have an answer, though."
"How do you rationalize it? Being away from Jack so much?" JJ raised her head. "Sorry. That sounded like an accusation, didn't it? I didn't mean it like that."
"No, I know." Aaron took a deep breath. "I guess I've just gotten to the point where I've ceded everything to Haley. That it doesn't matter if I'm gone, because she's always going to be more important to his life."
"Because she's his mother." The words were bitter, and Aaron was pretty sure they didn't have anything to do with him.
"JJ, if you need time off--"
"No." She tensed, and he thought she was going to pull away, maybe even stand up, but she stayed where she was. "Unless you can somehow create more time in a day, but that's not what I'm saying. It's important to me, Hotch. What we do. What I do. But that doesn't mean that Henry's not the most important thing..."
"Of course not, JJ. Nobody thinks that." He tightened his arm, and she relaxed against him again with a huge gust of breath.
"I just hope he agrees with you when he gets older."
Aaron didn't have anything to say to that. He was pretty sure Jack was going to resent him for his absences when he was old enough to understand, no matter how much time he tried to squeeze out of his schedule to make up for it. But he couldn't tell JJ that, and he couldn't tell her that everything would be okay just because she wanted it to be.
He never seemed to have the answers his people needed.
Neither of them tried to continue the conversation, and after a while, JJ's breathing evened out. He wasn't sure if she was asleep or nearly just, but it didn't matter. They'd been working non-stop since they arrived, and he knew that JJ had been on the verge of exhaustion before. Full-time agent, full-time mom was an impossible equation.
He ignored the part of his brain that was telling him she wouldn't be able to fall asleep in these conditions if she didn't trust him completely.
*****
Two weeks later.
Aaron let the drapes fall back into place. The Minneapolis sky was clear, nearly cloudless. No sign of the turbulence in Virginia that was keeping them grounded tonight. Not that it should make any difference where he spent the night; even if they'd flown out this evening, he wouldn't have made it back in time to stop by Haley's. He'd been able to call earlier to say goodnight to Jack, had gotten to hear his little boy stories all about his day, and that was as much as he'd hoped for.
No, the restless disappointment that ate at him wasn't on his own behalf. The others started making plans almost as soon as they got word of their layover, Morgan and Prentiss and Dave and even Reid offering up suggestions for a night out on the town. But JJ had been quiet, letting herself fade out of notice with a soft goodnight. Aaron knew he couldn't do anything to change the weather, but he still wished that he could get her back home, back to her son. Maybe that would take away the distance that had been in her eyes ever since they'd been rescued from Parker's hell hole.
And he desperately wanted to take away the distance in JJ's eyes.
Aaron turned away from the window and marched back to the small desk. He had plenty of paperwork to keep him occupied until he was tired enough to go to sleep. The files were open, waiting for him to sit down and get to work.
Someone knocked on his door.
Someone was JJ.
Aaron slid the chain off and opened the door, and she slipped in wordlessly, hands wrapped around her upper arms like she was cold. Or like she was protecting herself. He watched her walk towards the same spot he'd just been standing at and stop. She stared down at the open files on the desk, but he knew she wasn't reading.
"JJ?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Of course." He touched her shoulder, urging her to sit in the desk chair. He sat on the edge of the bed. Their knees were only inches apart, but he leaned forward so that he could study her face more easily. "What's wrong?"
"The smell from the mine." She let go of her left arm so that she could stroke the delicate curve right under her chin. "I can still taste it."
"It's been bothering you since we got out?" Aaron frowned when JJ nodded. "Have you talked to someone?"
"I talked to Dr. Wainslow about getting trapped. But it's not even that I'm still shook up about the whole thing." JJ dropped her hand, letting her right forearm dangle across the left, like she wanted to reach for something but had forgotten what. "It's just the smell. It catches me by surprise. I'll take a drink of water, or turn my head, and all of the sudden it's there again, deep in my throat. I don't understand why I can't just get rid of it."
"The sense of smell is linked to our most powerful memory centers. You need to short-circuit the trigger, replace it with something else."
JJ snorted. "That's the problem. I think I already have."
Aaron waited, but she turned her head, looking over at the desk while she rolled her fingers together. She was embarrassed. Uncomfortable--with him. "You can tell me," he coaxed. "It won't affect your standing with the BAU, I promise."
She smiled down at her hands. "If only the BAU was what I'm worried about."
Him personally, then. He swallowed his questions, forcing himself to stay still, to not reach out, as she gathered her courage.
"Whenever I started to smell it," she said so softly he could barely hear her, "I would grope for anything good. Any thought that would take me away from that."
Aaron nodded. "That's natural."
"Except the thing that I always found myself taking comfort in..." She took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. "I keep remembering the way you smell. The way it felt to have your arms around me. How safe I felt, and..."
He tightened his grip on her arm before he could stop himself. He needed to let go, stand up, back away, but JJ turned her head, meeting his eyes. The distance in hers was gone at last, and in its place was the emotion he'd both feared and hoped to see.
"You should leave," he said hoarsely.
"I know." JJ smiled, that same wry smile she'd had earlier. The one that said she'd seen the picture on the puzzle box before she came here tonight, but needed to put the all the pieces together anyway. Just in case it turned out different.
"JJ," he pleaded, but he wasn't sure whether he was asking her to go or stay.
Her hand shook as she brought it up. He could feel the tremble when she brushed her fingers across his cheekbone. He could barely breathe, and a faint pink stained her cheeks, but she didn't pull back. "You always have dark circles under your eyes these days. But it's not the cases, is it?"
Aaron caught her hand, but he didn't pull it away from his face. "Not exactly. It's not having anyone to come home to, to take away the pain."
JJ stroked her thumb across his skin. "I know."
Aaron leaned forward at the same time she did. Their lips met gently, but the kiss hit him deep in the chest, in the part where he locked away the trembles and cries and despair of night. He was sliding forward, off the bed and onto his knees before he really thought about it. She was taller than him this way, looking down on him with a Madonna-like beneficence as she settled her hands against the back of his neck. Her fingers stroked softly, over the intuition hairs, and he couldn't help reaching up to cradle her face and draw her down for one more kiss.
"You really want me to go, don't you?" she asked after he pulled back.
"I think this would be a very bad idea." He touched the very corner of her mouth with his thumb, where he could feel her muscles were working hard against giving away her emotions. "But what I think and what I want are two very different things."
"Then maybe I should get to decide." She kissed him again, and as he started to lose himself in her mouth she shifted forward, parting her legs to wrap her thighs around his hips. There was no question now, not when she was drawing him closer, forcing him to rise higher on his knees until his hardness met her heat. JJ's breath hitched, stuttering into his mouth. He slipped his hands down, cupping her ass, and then he curled his toes under him and stood up.
JJ gasped and tightened her arms around his neck. "Oh, wow."
Aaron snorted. "I might not be Morgan, but I do have one or two moves."
JJ laughed. "Mmm. Of that, I have no doubt."
He smiled, feeling his lips curl up in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, slightly dirty and teasing. He walked her to the bed, around to the side rather than the foot, and sat down so that JJ was in his lap. She dropped her hands to his chest, fingers moving deftly on the buttons of his shirt as they exchanged soft, exploratory kisses. She curled outward, shoulder blades pressing into his hands while she pulled the hem out of his pants with short, sharp tugs. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders--and then she huffed out a laugh.
"I don't know why I was thinking that the metaphorical layers would be the only ones I'd have to get through," she said, plucking at his undershirt.
Aaron took the hint, quickly stripping it up and over his head. He couldn't think of anything to say to that, so he kissed her again and then began working on her buttons. He hesitated at parting the lapels; he shouldn't be looking her like this. It'd be easier in the dark, where he could pretend that he didn't know her as well as he knew every other member of his team. But this shouldn't be easy to pretend away. If he was going to do this--if they were going to do this--there shouldn't be any shrinking away. So he opened her blouse--and looked. Looked at her like a man who wanted to see a beautiful woman.
Her breasts were definitely beautiful. She wore a beige satin bra, simply formed but edged with a thin thread of lace. Practical but pretty and feminine, just like JJ herself. He pushed her blouse all the way off of her shoulders and let it drop. She'd stopped wearing her ring before the divorce, but he knew the necklace she was wearing was one that William gave her. Aaron brushed his thumbs over her collar bones, avoiding the chain. His own wounds were distant, scarring over, but hers were still fresh. And-- She was unsure under his eyes. Her gaze was on his chest, his hands, over his shoulder--anywhere but his face. From everything JJ had told him, from what he knew from her body language, the rift between her and Will hadn't been because they didn't want each other. But someone at some point had done a number on JJ's ego.
"Hey," he said, cupping her chin. He didn't try to coax her head up, but he wanted her to know that he saw her. "You're beautiful, JJ. You are."
She looked up. He tried to let the truth of it show on his face, tried to counterbalance every time he'd forced his eyes to slide over her unseeing. He held her gaze, waiting, until a wry smile flashed across her lips and she rolled her eyes.
"Thank you," she said, and though her voice had that dry timber that it sometimes got when she was flustered, he could tell she meant it. Then her face relaxed and her shoulders too, and she brushed her fingertips across his lips. "You are, too."
She said it so sincerely that a warmth that had nothing to do with sex settled deep in his belly. He could almost think that she was talking about who he was inside, and not his stress-worn face. Before he could get lost in maudlin longing, JJ reached behind her and unhooked her bra. She dropped it to the side, off the bed, and then pressed against his chest, guiding him backwards to the bed. They shifted around until they were more or less lying lengthwise, side by side. He started touching her then, softly over her collar bones and throat, down the line of her sternum, and then skimming out over her breasts. He watched her as he cupped her right breast, as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. Watched her arch into his hand as he palmed her gently, watched as she seemed to shrink away with a more firm touch. He couldn't see her face when he took her nipple into his mouth, no matter how he strained his eyes, but her loud gasp was confirmation enough. He kept his tongue flat for a while, stroking her over and over until she was breathing hard and arching into him, and then he began to suck. That earned him a moan.
"Hotch," she said, pushing against his jaw, then on his shoulder when he eased up. He rolled with her coaxing, over onto his back, waiting for whatever she wanted to do.
She slid her hand over his belly and down. Over the fabric of his pants until she was stroking his cock. Aaron opened his mouth to breathe. It'd been so long since he'd been touched, let alone touched like this, with the cloth both dulling and intensifying sensation, that he'd forgotten what it felt like. Like teenagers sneaking touches in a darkened room while the television flickered in front of them, full of thrill and promise, but most of all the sheer pleasure in the moment.
The sound of a zipper sliding down broke him out of his hedonistic haze. JJ half sat up and squirmed out of her dress pants. Aaron did the same. He hesitated with his underwear, but JJ slipped a finger under his waistband and snapped it.
"Sorry," she said, but she was grinning devilishly. And she'd taken off her panties while he wasn't looking. "I'm a little impatient."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, and complied. Before he could plan ahead to anything further, she was straddling his thighs, so close that he could feel her slick heat. "We should--"
"No accidents this time," she promised, with a little eyeroll that he could tell was meant for herself. "I'm guessing you don't have anything in your go bag, but there hasn't been anybody but Will in a long time. It's up to you."
He could see in her eyes that she'd profiled his own sexual history accurately enough. But... "Are you sure?"
Instead of answering out loud, she eased back, intent telegraphed so clearly that he could have stopped her. In theory, anyway, because he was only a man. A man who hadn't had sex in a really long time. He started to groan as she took him in, but he clamped his mouth shut before it was too loud. The walls in hotel rooms were never thick, and Morgan and Dave were on either side of him.
She began moving slowly. Aaron let her lead, instead reaching up to hold her swinging breasts and rub her nipples again. She picked up the pace and he moved with her. She moved faster and harder, until Aaron was desperate to hang on--and then she stopped.
"I can't," she whispered, head hanging. "I'm close, but--"
"You don't have to do it all yourself, you know." Aaron smiled as he dropped his right hand, and was glad to see her smile back.
"I know. I'm just--"
"Impatient?"
"Horny," she said, with a little laugh that made him groan again.
He rocked his knuckle between her curls, sliding into her wetness until he found her swollen clit. She was nearly still over him, hips barely rocking back and forth as she held him where she wanted him. Aaron breathed through his nose, holding himself under tight control as he sped his finger. Her hair was wild around her, some strands flying with static and others stuck dark to her skin, her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip. He could feel how close she was getting, her muscles getting tighter around him and her thighs vise-tight on his hips. She opened her mouth when she came, but she didn't cry out. Like she'd trained herself to be silent.
Aaron wanted to take her there again, but he was aching with his own need now, too much to hold back. But he could do his best to make it good for her--just not in this position. He sat up, holding her to him with one arm, and rolled them over.
"Oh." JJ panted softly, then she smiled up at him. "You always have to be in charge, don't you?"
"JJ..." Aaron dropped his head. It shouldn't ache so badly. He was buried deep inside a beautiful woman, sharing a beautiful moment--but he'd thought she knew him better than that.
"Hotch. Hotch, look at me." She smacked his shoulder, lightly, and kept her hand there until he raised his head. "It was a joke, okay? A joke. I know you--"
He kissed her. Kissed her until the ache and shame sank back below the surface, and then he started to thrust.
"Oh, God," she moaned, but softly enough that he thought it would be okay. And he almost didn't care about being found out at this point. He was sweating with the effort to stay in control, to satisfy her, to not lose himself to what he wanted most. He thrust over and over until her mouth was working with silent Ohs and her muscles clenched again.
And then he let go. His orgasm hit faster and harder than he remembered, a dam of sensation bursting so fast he almost couldn't feel it all. He buried his face in JJ's throat, breathing open-mouthed against her skin as he came in wave after wave. It ebbed slowly, and he came down with JJ petting the back of his neck. He rested there for a minute, enjoying their closeness, then he withdrew and slid to the side. JJ turned, and he held his arm up so that she could settle into his side.
He didn't miss the parallel, and he didn't think she did, either. He held her close, thankful that they were safe, and that they were here, now, together.
"Mmm," she said sometime later, shifting in his arms. "Sex with a profiler definitely has it's benefits."
Aaron chuckled. The amusement didn't last long, though. The reasons for not doing this were still there, even more so now that they'd crossed the line. He took a breath. "JJ..."
"I know, Hotch." JJ sighed. "But... Thank you."
Aaron shook his head. "You don't have to thank me."
"I don't mean the sex. Although, wow, yeah." Her breath huffed against his chest, stirring his hair. Aaron tightened his arms, glad for her honesty. "It's just that I've always appreciated how you treat me. That I'm never just a pretty face to you. But sometimes...Sometimes I want to be both, you know?"
"You are." Aaron brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek. "I can see both, even if I can never acknowledge that."
She pushed herself up onto one elbow and smiled down at him. "I should go," she said, and leaned down to kiss him. Aaron knew she meant it as a goodbye, but he was too touch-starved not to respond to her lips. JJ went with it easily, and sweetness turned passionate just like that.
They were both breathing hard when she pulled away from him. "Or maybe I could stay a little while longer."
"A little while," he agreed, rolling onto his side so that he could curve her body into his. JJ's smile was sad, so he did his best to kiss it away.
Morning was still hours away, and they could sleep on the plane.