writing exercises
Done this while very VERY tired. Maybe Naruto speaking, not his voice at all. Please crit.
I have learned - oh! so many things!
I have learned that when you live in a neverending delirium, when anything in your life might or might not be real, there are only truly two ways of dealing with Life as you see it.
You might deal with all as if nothing is real.
You might tell yourself that none of your tragedies matter. But then nor do your triumphs. You might live your life as if it’s a giant game and the only consequences are the ones you choose to care about, and lose sight of all happiness, because there is no true feeling in something you choose to think of as Not Real.
That is the path that hurts the less.
I tried to follow it for a while, and then I realized that it doesn’t work for me. I put too much of myself in everything I do and I care too much about everyone I meet and reminding myself that none of it truly mattered drove me insane in short order.
The second way of living is to accept that everything matters, whether it is real or not.
When something hurts you want to cry, even if it’s just a nightmare. When something makes you glad you laugh out loud for the world to hear, even if it was but a dream.
Eventually it will all come to an end, both the nightmare and the dream, but you will remember them.
They changed you. They touched you. They matter.
Living this way has driven me insane as well, but it has been an insanity I can live with.
I wish you could have seen some of my earlier lives.
Did you know who was my hero? The one I dreamed about, the one I admired the most while never having actually met him?
It was the Yondaime Hokage, of course. He was my childhood hero.
He was also my father.
I was quite shocked when I found out! The Kyuubi put me through quite a few comedies of errors, those first lives, and it amused him to let me meet my parents.
And you know, once I found out he was my father, I really do think there was a part of me that expected him to be a terrible parent. I don’t know, maybe it was just too good to be true. I didn’t expect - anything, really, I mean, I didn’t even know what should I expect - but, well. If he’d been distant, if he’d been too demanding, if he’d been busy all the time except for when he was telling me how disappointed he was in me for being such a let down… I wouldn’t have been surprised.
He was amazing.
He found time to spend with me. He taught me stuff. He laughed with kindness when I was dumb, and praised me when I was smart, and.
He loved me.
All the time, even that one time when he had the ANBU arrest me because that life was a total fuck up.
He loved me.
[silence]
I can’t talk anymore right now.
I have learned - oh! so many things!
I have learned that when you live in a neverending delirium, when anything in your life might or might not be real, there are only truly two ways of dealing with Life as you see it.
You might deal with all as if nothing is real.
You might tell yourself that none of your tragedies matter. But then nor do your triumphs. You might live your life as if it’s a giant game and the only consequences are the ones you choose to care about, and lose sight of all happiness, because there is no true feeling in something you choose to think of as Not Real.
That is the path that hurts the less.
I tried to follow it for a while, and then I realized that it doesn’t work for me. I put too much of myself in everything I do and I care too much about everyone I meet and reminding myself that none of it truly mattered drove me insane in short order.
The second way of living is to accept that everything matters, whether it is real or not.
When something hurts you want to cry, even if it’s just a nightmare. When something makes you glad you laugh out loud for the world to hear, even if it was but a dream.
Eventually it will all come to an end, both the nightmare and the dream, but you will remember them.
They changed you. They touched you. They matter.
Living this way has driven me insane as well, but it has been an insanity I can live with.
I wish you could have seen some of my earlier lives.
Did you know who was my hero? The one I dreamed about, the one I admired the most while never having actually met him?
It was the Yondaime Hokage, of course. He was my childhood hero.
He was also my father.
I was quite shocked when I found out! The Kyuubi put me through quite a few comedies of errors, those first lives, and it amused him to let me meet my parents.
And you know, once I found out he was my father, I really do think there was a part of me that expected him to be a terrible parent. I don’t know, maybe it was just too good to be true. I didn’t expect - anything, really, I mean, I didn’t even know what should I expect - but, well. If he’d been distant, if he’d been too demanding, if he’d been busy all the time except for when he was telling me how disappointed he was in me for being such a let down… I wouldn’t have been surprised.
He was amazing.
He found time to spend with me. He taught me stuff. He laughed with kindness when I was dumb, and praised me when I was smart, and.
He loved me.
All the time, even that one time when he had the ANBU arrest me because that life was a total fuck up.
He loved me.
[silence]
I can’t talk anymore right now.