Cringe

[shi_illegitima]

You know, there is an actual reason for the fact that all of the smart help-yourself books on assertiveness mention such a thing as 'personal space'.

If you move n-times closer to me and I move n+1-times away from you, you should consider to get the message.

Seriously. I am all in for physical contact and that, but if I have no desire for a mid-

Comments

[pesky11]

Ugh. I totally agree with you.

I have the unfortunate luck to always be approached by people in stores and they think I work there. I'm like, wtf leave me alone! NO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT IS!!!

It happens ALL THE TIME... :(

I've found that by wearing my headphones whist shopping, I can avoid some of them.

[shi_illegitima]

What we say is 'from the unwanted bread the largest loaf'.

Headphones is one of my avoidance techniques if I don't want to be social ... somehow, I have ALWAYS people hunting me for small-talk; in the bus, waiting in the line, literally EVERYWHERE and I'm not always willing to. Somehow I've lost my professional carefully trained Don't-even-DARE face, apparently, because even if I actively try to look utterly uninviting, people still try to chat with me. Go away, get lost !

That leaves me with walking around with a book, headphones, behind the camera, pretending to be actively busy with something ... most of the time. I even go out of my way to tie my hair etc. to make people SEE I'm unavailable - but I still often run around with feelings of guilt because perhaps they don't notice and then think I ignore them.

[pesky11]

I'm getting to the point in my life that I don't generally care if people feel ignored. They're strangers.

Another strategy I use is to pretend I don't hear (as in I'm deaf) them or see them. That one has taken alot more practice.

[shi_illegitima]

Ow, I refuse to go to such lengths as pretending deaf- or blindness. It doesn't bother me enough to tell them ... I'm more likely to tell straight-out I don't care to small-talk and please leave me alone, than to go pretending.

[the_picture_of]

That never happens to me. I must look too scary.

[shi_illegitima]

You wouldn't have liked her; she had hair like freshly mowed lawn :p

[dizzyweb]

Hardly ever have that. I must be scary too. Ah well, already knew that.

But, the thing is... I don't think many people recognize your condition. Most people aren't used to someone scared of physical contact. And some people are just absolute jerks. And yes, somehow they always turn up in the queue right behind you. There's no escape. Murphy was right.

[shi_illegitima]

I'm not scared of physical contact. I just don't want people I don't know crawl all over me. It's not like I'm asking something ridiculous; it's quite reasonable to give the people around you some space and to expect the same from your fellow human.

Ok ok, perhaps my personal space I don't like invaded without an invitation is a little larger than those of other people ... but still not unreasonable. Anyone would have had a problem with her, though.

So, very true. Jerks all over the world, unite. How are you :) ?

[dizzyweb]

I know, that's not exactly how I meant to say it, sorry for that.

All jerks united, that's a scary thought :/ But well, there's just people that do not know the concept of "personal space". Everything is just their personal space, the spot you're standing in too.

How am I.... hmm. Good question. I don't really know, actually.

[shi_illegitima]

Heh ... Everything is just their personal space, the spot you're standing in too. That's how we usually describe the tourists that come to Prague in the summer and Christmas/NewYear time 8)

[will_ah_wisp]

Monday night I was out at a bar and some creepy fat man was hitting on me and at one point reached out and touched my hair and my neck and I almost punched him. It was seriously the creepiest thing ever. I hate strangers touching me, unless I am feeling in control of the situation.

[shi_illegitima]

I read that entry ... gave me goosebumps; just reading about it. Don't get me wrong, in reality, I express myself a lot through physical contact and accept it happily. Now that you say it, it might be the control thing again. None the less, standing so close to someone they can actually smell your breath while there is enough space around you does require an invitation, otherwise it's just being impolite. Simple as that.

/Politically correct

Stupid bitch ;)

[grazia]

Oooh, I hate shopping alone (usually I drag Mike with me). I get so nervous and awkward. I don't like talking to strangers.

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