Hey Jennifer, you did it! I'm so glad you had the courage to post your first chapter, I know how nerve wracking it must have been, but you did it, and it was so so good. I loved getting Jack's POV about the whole "sweet life" conversation that he and Ennis had. Your writing is so strong and descriptive, and very evocative. The emotions they are both feeling come across very acutely and it's clear that there is so much sexual tension drifting between them. Jack's love for Ennis comes across so clearly too, that boy just adores him, and it is heart-breaking to know how hard his heart is hammering when he attempts to pursuade Ennis to live together.
The sex scene was beautiful too, very tender and loving and incredibly romantic. It was gorgeous and so beautifully described, you could imagine how Jack touching Ennis would make Ennis feel, the man of so few words. More of that please!
I'm now intrigued by Jack's dreams and thoughts. What is he hoping for? Can't wait to read more.
Hi--Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm feeling better about putting it all out there, so to speak, now that I've gotten some positive results. In fact, I am even now working on chapter 2. I can't say when it'll be finished, but soon I hope! Chat soon--
Two big thumbs up! (If I had more, I'd give you those, too!)mississaugaredSeptember 18 2006, 13:35:29 UTC
Hi Jennifer!
Just wanted to say quickly that I really enjoyed the start to your story and am looking forward to seeing where you intend to take our boys from here. :)
Great imagery all the way through! Here's just an example of one I particularly liked...
//Finally Ennis spoke again. The story he told wasn’t new to Jack. Seemed like every backwater town had some such rumor blowing against the back doors of its dingy, run-out bars. What he didn’t like was its close connection to the boy Ennis. Could Ennis’s father have thought so little of another man’s love that he would take his own sons to witness the horror of its mutilation? //
"some such rumor blowing against the back doors..." Love it!
Hope you're able to post again sometime soon, Jennifer. Thanks for taking the time to write this and to share it with you BBM obsessed buddies.
Re: Two big thumbs up! (If I had more, I'd give you those, too!)shieldmaid1September 19 2006, 00:21:57 UTC
Thank you!! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. The next chapter will be up sometime this week, depending on my work schedule (work? what work?? you mean I'm not getting paid to obsess about BBM??). Please keep reading--and see you at ennisjack!
Way to go Jennifer! Congratulations on a totally rockin first chapter! Your imagery was beautiful, the sex scene fraught with tenderness, and you've got me ready to hog-tie you to your computer so you can give us the next chapter really quick!!
Probably say more on your thread at EJ but wanted to say thanks for giving us yet another reason to ignore our families and let the housework go to shit! lol. - Em
Wow! Your writing is really vivid--love it. I'm pretty dang honored to be one of the writers you consider incredibly talented, because you yourself are!
Eight weeks spent on Brokeback. Four years trying to forget. Here they were, up on top of another one. Would they ever go down?
That was great! I felt like there should be a "priceless" in there somewhere, lol. Great start! *Off to read other two chapters*
I'm glad you liked it--and hope you'll read the other chapters too. :) I'll be posting an update tomorrow, after which there will be an interlude, another chapter, and an epilogue.
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The sex scene was beautiful too, very tender and loving and incredibly romantic. It was gorgeous and so beautifully described, you could imagine how Jack touching Ennis would make Ennis feel, the man of so few words. More of that please!
I'm now intrigued by Jack's dreams and thoughts. What is he hoping for? Can't wait to read more.
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Just wanted to say quickly that I really enjoyed the start to your story and am looking forward to seeing where you intend to take our boys from here. :)
Great imagery all the way through! Here's just an example of one I particularly liked...
//Finally Ennis spoke again. The story he told wasn’t new to Jack. Seemed like every backwater town had some such rumor blowing against the back doors of its dingy, run-out bars. What he didn’t like was its close connection to the boy Ennis. Could Ennis’s father have thought so little of another man’s love that he would take his own sons to witness the horror of its mutilation? //
"some such rumor blowing against the back doors..." Love it!
Hope you're able to post again sometime soon, Jennifer. Thanks for taking the time to write this and to share it with you BBM obsessed buddies.
Cheers,
E.
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Probably say more on your thread at EJ but wanted to say thanks for giving us yet another reason to ignore our families and let the housework go to shit! lol. - Em
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Eight weeks spent on Brokeback. Four years trying to forget. Here they were, up on top of another one. Would they ever go down?
That was great! I felt like there should be a "priceless" in there somewhere, lol. Great start! *Off to read other two chapters*
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"...horror of its mutilation...", really liked that. Of course not the fact but the way it's stated.
"...“That ain’t necessarily true, though my ass’ll likely be too raw for more playin’...", if that don't get Ennis moving...LOL
Nice beginning - Thanks.
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