OOC: LOG! Sirius+Orihime!
Who: Sirius and Orihime (and a cameo by the Remus!hedgehog)
What: Hedgehog Rescuing and Orihime finally admitting to Sirius that she and Ishida are engaged.
Where: Sirius and Remus' flat, and then a breakfast shop
When: Tuesday morning
Why: Orihime was getting anxious about keeping the secret.
Notes: Rated PG-13 for language, I suppose.
---
Orihime arrived in Sirius's flat via portkey-mingo, her stomach a bit upset over more than just the uncomfortable ride. "Sirius?" she called timidly, "where are you?"
From the bedroom, there came crashes, swears, terrified squeaks, and Poe-worthy, blood curdling raven cawing.
Orihime gasped and jumped back a bit, before getting ahold of herself and taking a few steps toward the bedroom. "Sirius?" she said a bit louder, biting her lip.
Black feathers and dust billowed out of the door. Sirius Black was standing on the unmade bed, menacing the Black Family heirloom that constituted as their post-carrier, which was perched in the rafters. The Raven cawed angrily, something brown and prickly in its claw. Sirius looked over his shoulder, hearing Orihime. His eyes were wide and wild. "The damn bloody MISERABLE fuckfeathers is trying to make a nest with my fucking husband!" he burst.
The terrified squeaking, if one focused, could be heard as words; "Not a nest, not nest, not a nest! Need tea!"
Orihime looked from Sirius, to the bird, to the hedgehog, and back to Sirius. "...oh," was the only thing she could come up with to say.
"HELP ME GET HIM DOWN!" flailed Sirius, grabbing at the bird's tail. It shrieked and edged further away, the hedge-wolf still held tightly in its claw. "I'll stun the oversized pigeon-" an irate squawk- "and you catch Remus when he falls, okay?"
The frantic squeaking took on a distinctly horrified edge at the mention of this plan.
Orihime flailed and moved apprehensively to stand closer to where the bird was so she was in easy catching distance. "O-okay..."
Sirius nodded, holding his wand aloft. "Ready?" A traumatised squeaking of "NO!! NO!! STOP!! SSSSSIRIUS!! NOT AVIAN!! NO!!"
For someone with doglike hearing, Sirius Black didnt listen very well.
"ONE! TWO!"
It was at this time the wolf-hog sunk his pointy little teeth into the raven's foot.
“THRRREEOOOHHFFUCK!!" howled Sirius. "CATCH HIM, CATCH HIM!"
Orihime squeaked and reached out her arms, missing him completely. The squeak turned into a scream as she realized her mistake, and her hands flew up to her hairpins. "Hinagiku, Lily, Baigon! Souten Kisshun! I reject!" A three-pointed shield formed, and situated itself at such an angle that the squealing hedgehog bounced neatly off of it and landed safely on the bed.
The pureblood immediately dove for the hedgehog, snatching him up and cradling him, as the now royally pissed off raven was attempting to dive in. "FUCK OFF, YOU MAD BIRD!! HE'S NOT A BALL OF TWIGS!!" snarled Sirius as it swooped, throwing three jinxes after the bird. One hit, and it turned into a bag of loam, and fell to the floor with a thud.
"Are you okay?" the heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black asked the shaking, shivering rodent. "Remus doesnt like heights very much," he added to Orihime, panting slightly.
Orihime just nodded and absentmindedly waved at Hinagiku, Lily, and Baigon, as they flew around her head a few times before returning to her hairpins.
Sirius released a breath, jerking his chin at Orihime's hairpins. He gave a crooked grin. "Quick thinking there, love. Cheers. I dont reckon Ive seen the trampoline before."
Orihime nodded again and smiled, for a moment forgetting while she was really there. "Thanks! It's not a trampoline, it's a shield. It's impenetrable!!! It saved me and Uryuu when we fell into Sereitei."
"I hate it when that happens," responded Sirius, winking. He clambered off the bed, being careful not to jostle the little hedgehog, which scrabbled at his hand and squeaked "Pocket! Noooo! Pocket!" until Sirius got the hint and deposited Remus in the pocket of his jumper. He gave a wry grin. "Sorry about all this. Do you mind if I summon a quick cup of tea for him before we leave? To calm him down a bit." From Sirius' pocket came a chitter that sounded like "No birds here. No birds."
Orihime nodded. "Of course." she took a deep breath as she remembered why she was here in the first place, and that sick feeling came back to her stomach. "Take all the time you need."
"It''ll just be a moment!" rasped an oblivious Sirius cheerfully. He led her out of the bedroom to the kitchen, then set a kettle on the stove. A moment after he'd flicked his wand at it, the kettle started whistling "IMMMM REEADDDY YAAAA PRANCING FLOWEEERRY BEEERKK!!" in piercing tones. Sirius winced, taking it off the stove quickly and pouring a cup. He shrugged, chuckling "Present from James."
Orihime nodded for a fourth time and fidgeted with the strap of her bag while Sirius prepared the tea.
As he placed the cup on the table and withdrew Remus from his pocket, he arched an eyebrow. Usually by now she was talking his ears off. Not that he minded, of course. "You alright?" His eyebrows knit in concern. "Did the chaos with that goddamned flying turkey shake you up? I'll make you a cup too, if you like-"
There was a quiet plop. Sirius looked down. Remus the hedgehog looked up at Sirius from inside the teacup.
Orihime flailed, ignoring Sirius' concern. "Isn't the tea hot???"
Tilting his head to the side, Sirius stuck his pointer finger into the soft belly fur of the hedgehog and scratched. "I think he's treating it as a hot tub."
Remus gave a contented chitter, adding on, as a squeaky reprimand, "No birds."
Sirius snorted, "No, no birds." He straightened, still addressing the hedgehog in the teacup. "We'll be back later, okay? Dont stay in there too long. You'll get all pruney. Your lunch is next to the bread box." A short squeak from Remus. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sunflower seeds." The squeaking increased, becoming unintelligible. Sirius crossed his arms. "What do you mean again? If you dont like it, you do the shopping."
Orihime watched the exchange with wide eyes. "He makes a very cute hedgehog," she observed.
Sirius chuckled. "Perhaps. I think I prefer him in the form where he isnt mistaken for nesting material." He gave the hedgehog another bellyscratch with his pointer finger. "Bye, Moony. And for Merlin's sake, dont burrow into The Plant's pot dirt again. It tickles Its roots too much and it ends up throwing up and Im not cleaning up seven separate piles of mulch again." The hedgehog gave a sullen squeak.
Turning to Orihime, Sirius brightened. "Alright then. Got everything you need?"
Orihime looked down at herself for a moment, before nodding. "Uh....yeah. I'm all set."
"Lovely!" beamed Sirius. "Shall we be off, then? You'll love Maggie Pie's, they've got the best lunch menu." He waved over his shoulder at his husband-gone-prickly rodent, slung an amiable arm around Orihime's narrow shoulders, and apparated with a CRACK.
Orihime gasped as they ended up inside a pleasant looking breakfast shop, not having been entirely prepared for the sensation of apparation. Thankfully Sirius' arm was still around her shoulders, or she definitely would have fallen over.
A pretty Jamaican witch behind the counter spotted their arrival, and immediately bustled up to them. A regular, Sirius gave her a kiss on the cheek, and with a wink, she led them to their table- right at the front of the shop, in a warm slash of sunlight. After enquiring after Remus's health and That New Baby Potter, the witch left them with menus. "So? What did you want to talk about?" asked Sirius, opening his menu.
Orihime felt quite nauseous, and couldn't even bear to pick up her menu. She blushed deeply, fiddling with her engagement ring under the table. "I..."
Oh. Sirius hadnt thought it was something serious. He put down his menu, leaning forward slightly. "Is everything alright, Orihime?"
She nodded and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and figure out a way to word this properly, and coming up with nothing.
A whirlwind of possibilities whipped through Sirius' mind. Was she moving away? Had she been diagnosed with permanent dragon pox? Did she enjoy mime shows? "...'Hime?"
Orihime tried to smile, realizing that Sirius was starting to get genuinely worried. "It's nothing bad, I swear. I mean. I don't think it's bad, but..." She sighed deeply.
"But what?" The heir ran a nervous hand through his hair. "You know you can tell me anything. Are you in trouble at school?" He frowned. "If I have to come in and hex some uppity teachers, that is fine by me."
Orihime shook her head almost frantically. "No! No. I'm not in trouble at school. It's nothing bad, really. It's...really really good." She frowned and fidgeted.
"Oh." Sirius blinked, utterly confused. "You look awful anxious for someone delivering really really good news."
Orihime sighed and looked up at Sirius. "Well. It's good for me, but I don't think you'll like it very much."
The pureblood raised an eyebrow. "You got another damn cat?"
Orihime nearly laughed with how innocuous a cat would seem when she finally told him. "No. Not another cat."
Sirius thought about it.
His eyes narrowed.
"Two cats?"
Orihime sighed again, and contemplated just telling him that she'd adopted a whole litter of cats rather than telling the truth. That or throwing up into the large purse of the witch two tables over and running away. "...no cats, Sirius."
The heir shrugged amiably. "Then I give up! Happily so. What's happened?"
Orihime attempted to swallow a lump, which had formed in her throat when she wasn't paying attention, and brought her hands to her face. "Sirius. Uryuu...Uryuu and I..."
"Oh, no." Sirius' mouth thinned into a line. "He broke up with you? That tosser, that bastard, when Im through with him he'll have to eat all his meals through a bloody straw-!!"
Orihime flailed. "No! He didn't break up with me!" So maybe this guessing game was even more painful than the truth. She bit her lip and thought for a moment, worrying it so hard that it nearly started to bleed. "...he proposed," she said finally, very quietly.
Bewildered, Sirius blinked. "Proposed what?"
"...he asked me to marry him."
Sirius stared.
"Have you two decided, then?" piped a cheerful waiter, who had materialised at Sirius' side.
Sirius turned to look at him. The ends of the waiter's spiked hair burst into flame.
"Oh," remarked Sirius absently. "Accidental wandless magic. I thought I'd grown out of that."
Orihime attempted to be polite to the waiter. "...could I just get a glass of water for now, please?" She avoided eye contact with Sirius like the plague.
The waiter, who hadnt realised his hair was on fire just yet, trilled a cheerful "Of course!" and made his way towards the kitchen to retrieve it. There was a long, awkward silence, which was only broken by frantic screaming from the kitchen, and the sounds of a plucky young chap getting beaten over the head with cooking implements.
Orihime winced, and stared at her hands, letting the awkward silence drag on.
As the last of the blood curdling screams died away, Sirius shook off his statuesque paralysis. He fumbled desperately in his pocket, withdrawing a battered carton of cigarettes. He shook out five, lighting them all at once. "So," he started, voice a croak. "What did you say?"
Orihime gnawed at her lip a bit more. "...I said yes."
Sirius took a drag on three cigarettes at once.
"Ah."
"...he bought me a ring."
Seastorm eyes darted to her finger. He hadnt noticed. "Ah." He expelled smoke off to the side, which spiraled up in the light.
Orihime covered the ring with her right hand and withdrew her hands into her lap.
"He didnt say anything to me," rasped the pureblood, after another bout of painfully awkward silence.
"...he didn't plan it ahead of time." Orihime fiddled with the ring under the table.
"Of course he didnt. Its not like marriage is a huge step, or anything." He took a fierce drag off 4/5 cigarettes.
Orihime sighed. "We'd both been thinking about it." There was another long, awkward pause. "...we're going to wait."
"I should bloody well think so," snapped Sirius. He looked away. "Marriage? You're not even- he's not-"
The pureblood made a frustrated noise. "Remus and I didnt get handfasted until we were in our bloody thirties."
Orihime fidgeted, still feeling on the verge of throwing up. "You can't compare me and Uryuu to you and Remus, Sirius. The circumstances are very different." She paused for a moment, not sure if this would be helpful or hurtful. "...how old were James and Lily when they got married?"
"Too young," replied Sirius cagily. "They wouldnt have done, if there hadnt been a war on."
Orihime sighed, worrying her lip again. "There's a war on, Sirius."
"Well you saw how a war-torn marriage ended up for them," rasped the heir, with an uncommonly bitter tone. She'd scratched a nerve.
Orihime nodded, frowning. "I know."
Sirius' eyes darted back to hers. "I dont think you do. I dont think you're stupid, Orihime, but I dont think you know at all."
Orihime nodded again, now on the verge of tears, but holding them back as hard as she could. "...okay. I'm sorry."
Sirius took another calming hit of nicotine. He looked uncomfortable, noticing how upset she was getting- but he had to press on. "Are. Are you sure about him?" He'd attempted to make his voice come off neutral, but it came out sounded far too stuffy and pureblooded for his liking.
Orihime took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Of course I am." She met Sirius' eyes. "I love him."
"You're seventeen," amended Sirius. "He's your first boyfriend, isnt he?"
"...yes." She fiddled absentmindedly with the ring.
"So how can you tell what is or isnt without anything to compare it to? Do you really want to only have dated one person your whole bloody life and-" Sirius made an inarticulate gesture with his hands.
Orihime kept her eyes locked with Sirius'. "Yes."
"Why?"
"...because I want to be with him for the rest of my life."
"Your'e seventeen," Sirius repeated.
He continued, blankly. "You dont know what you want."
Orihime broke eye contact. "Why not?"
The older man heaved a sigh. "Because you've barely any experience in- in these types of things. Its like buying a broom without even looking at the others in the shop. You may think the broom's top of the line, but there could be another in the stockroom thats scads better. And less of a prick."
He coughed.
Orihime sighed and shook her head. "I don't want to try any other brooms."
"You dont know any better," insisted Sirius, getting frustrated, and wishing teenagers came with a handbook. "You've never looked round the shop!"
Orihime was starting to get frustrated as well. "I'm not stupid, Sirius. I know you don't like Uryuu, but that doesn't mean..."
"I never said that!" Sirius interrupted.
"...I know....but..."
Sirius said nothing.
Orihime gnawed at her lip. "...I'm not going into this without thinking. I know what a big step this is and I know how old I am."
After a long, long silence, in which Sirius' fierce blue eyes trained on hers, the heir sighed. "Shit. Do you know how much of a bugger planning a wedding is?"
He started ticking things off, already thinking ahead. "We'll have to call the bakery and the catering companies, and make guest lists, and find a ballroom of some kind, and get all the tailoring done, and..."
Orihime's jaw dropped. "...what?"
Sirius blinked. "What? Im not letting you elope in the forest somewhere, like a bloody druid."
It took Orihime a moment to process Sirius' apparent sudden change of heart. "...no...Sirius...I..." the tears that had been threatening to spill over for the past few minutes finally did so.
There were a few kinds of men who knew just what to do when someone started crying. Generally, Sirius Black was not one of them. "Uh. Oh, dear, uh." He fished in his pocket, bringing out a handkerchief that looked like it had last been used by The Plant. He reached across the table, patting her cheek off. "Shh, its okay, uh. Blast, dont cry!"
Orihime jumped out of her seat and in a moment had her arms tightly around Sirius' neck.
"Oof!" went Sirius. After a moment, he smiled slightly, and hugged her back.
Orihime sighed into the hug, extremely relieved for the time being. She knew that Sirius still wasn't okay with the idea of her getting married, but at least now he was at least considering the idea.
After a long moment she realized that she was probably crushing him a bit, and that they were still in public, and she popped back into her own seat. "Sorry!" she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"Its fine," blustered Sirius, not being able to hide a beaming grin even remotely well. He stamped out the excessive cigarettes he'd lit. An asthmatic behind him wheezed in praise to the lord.
With another sigh, Orihime smiled. "Thank you. I promise it won't be for a very long time, Uryuu wants to wait until he's done with college, and that's over five years away. We'll be twenty-two by then." She took a sip of the water which she hadn't noticed was right in front of her, and she guessed had been put there magically. "And it will only be a very small wedding...I don't want a lot of people there. Just a few close friends. I wonder if Uryuu's father will even come." Orihime realized she was starting to ramble a bit and took a deep breath to stop herself before she got too carried away and started talking about babies or something.
"...Sirius?"
The pureblood looked a bit dazed, but smiled. "Yeah?"
Orihime blushed a bit and said softly, "...would you...would you give me away? I mean...walk me down the aisle..."
Their now bald and scorched waiter had shied timidly up. "Are.. are you ready to order, uh, now?"
Sirius looked at him. The man threw up a multi-coloured flock of doves.
"I'd love to," he grinned.
Orihime grinned back, oblivious to the doves or the waiter, who was currently coughing up orange feathers. "Thank you."
Suddenly, Orihime's stomach rumbled loudly. She giggled.
Sirius chuckled. "Perhaps we should order, then. Waiter, I'll have-"
The waiter cut him off, after choking out a lime green bird. "LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
Singed and hiccuping feathers, he stalked away.
What: Hedgehog Rescuing and Orihime finally admitting to Sirius that she and Ishida are engaged.
Where: Sirius and Remus' flat, and then a breakfast shop
When: Tuesday morning
Why: Orihime was getting anxious about keeping the secret.
Notes: Rated PG-13 for language, I suppose.
---
Orihime arrived in Sirius's flat via portkey-mingo, her stomach a bit upset over more than just the uncomfortable ride. "Sirius?" she called timidly, "where are you?"
From the bedroom, there came crashes, swears, terrified squeaks, and Poe-worthy, blood curdling raven cawing.
Orihime gasped and jumped back a bit, before getting ahold of herself and taking a few steps toward the bedroom. "Sirius?" she said a bit louder, biting her lip.
Black feathers and dust billowed out of the door. Sirius Black was standing on the unmade bed, menacing the Black Family heirloom that constituted as their post-carrier, which was perched in the rafters. The Raven cawed angrily, something brown and prickly in its claw. Sirius looked over his shoulder, hearing Orihime. His eyes were wide and wild. "The damn bloody MISERABLE fuckfeathers is trying to make a nest with my fucking husband!" he burst.
The terrified squeaking, if one focused, could be heard as words; "Not a nest, not nest, not a nest! Need tea!"
Orihime looked from Sirius, to the bird, to the hedgehog, and back to Sirius. "...oh," was the only thing she could come up with to say.
"HELP ME GET HIM DOWN!" flailed Sirius, grabbing at the bird's tail. It shrieked and edged further away, the hedge-wolf still held tightly in its claw. "I'll stun the oversized pigeon-" an irate squawk- "and you catch Remus when he falls, okay?"
The frantic squeaking took on a distinctly horrified edge at the mention of this plan.
Orihime flailed and moved apprehensively to stand closer to where the bird was so she was in easy catching distance. "O-okay..."
Sirius nodded, holding his wand aloft. "Ready?" A traumatised squeaking of "NO!! NO!! STOP!! SSSSSIRIUS!! NOT AVIAN!! NO!!"
For someone with doglike hearing, Sirius Black didnt listen very well.
"ONE! TWO!"
It was at this time the wolf-hog sunk his pointy little teeth into the raven's foot.
“THRRREEOOOHHFFUCK!!" howled Sirius. "CATCH HIM, CATCH HIM!"
Orihime squeaked and reached out her arms, missing him completely. The squeak turned into a scream as she realized her mistake, and her hands flew up to her hairpins. "Hinagiku, Lily, Baigon! Souten Kisshun! I reject!" A three-pointed shield formed, and situated itself at such an angle that the squealing hedgehog bounced neatly off of it and landed safely on the bed.
The pureblood immediately dove for the hedgehog, snatching him up and cradling him, as the now royally pissed off raven was attempting to dive in. "FUCK OFF, YOU MAD BIRD!! HE'S NOT A BALL OF TWIGS!!" snarled Sirius as it swooped, throwing three jinxes after the bird. One hit, and it turned into a bag of loam, and fell to the floor with a thud.
"Are you okay?" the heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black asked the shaking, shivering rodent. "Remus doesnt like heights very much," he added to Orihime, panting slightly.
Orihime just nodded and absentmindedly waved at Hinagiku, Lily, and Baigon, as they flew around her head a few times before returning to her hairpins.
Sirius released a breath, jerking his chin at Orihime's hairpins. He gave a crooked grin. "Quick thinking there, love. Cheers. I dont reckon Ive seen the trampoline before."
Orihime nodded again and smiled, for a moment forgetting while she was really there. "Thanks! It's not a trampoline, it's a shield. It's impenetrable!!! It saved me and Uryuu when we fell into Sereitei."
"I hate it when that happens," responded Sirius, winking. He clambered off the bed, being careful not to jostle the little hedgehog, which scrabbled at his hand and squeaked "Pocket! Noooo! Pocket!" until Sirius got the hint and deposited Remus in the pocket of his jumper. He gave a wry grin. "Sorry about all this. Do you mind if I summon a quick cup of tea for him before we leave? To calm him down a bit." From Sirius' pocket came a chitter that sounded like "No birds here. No birds."
Orihime nodded. "Of course." she took a deep breath as she remembered why she was here in the first place, and that sick feeling came back to her stomach. "Take all the time you need."
"It''ll just be a moment!" rasped an oblivious Sirius cheerfully. He led her out of the bedroom to the kitchen, then set a kettle on the stove. A moment after he'd flicked his wand at it, the kettle started whistling "IMMMM REEADDDY YAAAA PRANCING FLOWEEERRY BEEERKK!!" in piercing tones. Sirius winced, taking it off the stove quickly and pouring a cup. He shrugged, chuckling "Present from James."
Orihime nodded for a fourth time and fidgeted with the strap of her bag while Sirius prepared the tea.
As he placed the cup on the table and withdrew Remus from his pocket, he arched an eyebrow. Usually by now she was talking his ears off. Not that he minded, of course. "You alright?" His eyebrows knit in concern. "Did the chaos with that goddamned flying turkey shake you up? I'll make you a cup too, if you like-"
There was a quiet plop. Sirius looked down. Remus the hedgehog looked up at Sirius from inside the teacup.
Orihime flailed, ignoring Sirius' concern. "Isn't the tea hot???"
Tilting his head to the side, Sirius stuck his pointer finger into the soft belly fur of the hedgehog and scratched. "I think he's treating it as a hot tub."
Remus gave a contented chitter, adding on, as a squeaky reprimand, "No birds."
Sirius snorted, "No, no birds." He straightened, still addressing the hedgehog in the teacup. "We'll be back later, okay? Dont stay in there too long. You'll get all pruney. Your lunch is next to the bread box." A short squeak from Remus. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sunflower seeds." The squeaking increased, becoming unintelligible. Sirius crossed his arms. "What do you mean again? If you dont like it, you do the shopping."
Orihime watched the exchange with wide eyes. "He makes a very cute hedgehog," she observed.
Sirius chuckled. "Perhaps. I think I prefer him in the form where he isnt mistaken for nesting material." He gave the hedgehog another bellyscratch with his pointer finger. "Bye, Moony. And for Merlin's sake, dont burrow into The Plant's pot dirt again. It tickles Its roots too much and it ends up throwing up and Im not cleaning up seven separate piles of mulch again." The hedgehog gave a sullen squeak.
Turning to Orihime, Sirius brightened. "Alright then. Got everything you need?"
Orihime looked down at herself for a moment, before nodding. "Uh....yeah. I'm all set."
"Lovely!" beamed Sirius. "Shall we be off, then? You'll love Maggie Pie's, they've got the best lunch menu." He waved over his shoulder at his husband-gone-prickly rodent, slung an amiable arm around Orihime's narrow shoulders, and apparated with a CRACK.
Orihime gasped as they ended up inside a pleasant looking breakfast shop, not having been entirely prepared for the sensation of apparation. Thankfully Sirius' arm was still around her shoulders, or she definitely would have fallen over.
A pretty Jamaican witch behind the counter spotted their arrival, and immediately bustled up to them. A regular, Sirius gave her a kiss on the cheek, and with a wink, she led them to their table- right at the front of the shop, in a warm slash of sunlight. After enquiring after Remus's health and That New Baby Potter, the witch left them with menus. "So? What did you want to talk about?" asked Sirius, opening his menu.
Orihime felt quite nauseous, and couldn't even bear to pick up her menu. She blushed deeply, fiddling with her engagement ring under the table. "I..."
Oh. Sirius hadnt thought it was something serious. He put down his menu, leaning forward slightly. "Is everything alright, Orihime?"
She nodded and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and figure out a way to word this properly, and coming up with nothing.
A whirlwind of possibilities whipped through Sirius' mind. Was she moving away? Had she been diagnosed with permanent dragon pox? Did she enjoy mime shows? "...'Hime?"
Orihime tried to smile, realizing that Sirius was starting to get genuinely worried. "It's nothing bad, I swear. I mean. I don't think it's bad, but..." She sighed deeply.
"But what?" The heir ran a nervous hand through his hair. "You know you can tell me anything. Are you in trouble at school?" He frowned. "If I have to come in and hex some uppity teachers, that is fine by me."
Orihime shook her head almost frantically. "No! No. I'm not in trouble at school. It's nothing bad, really. It's...really really good." She frowned and fidgeted.
"Oh." Sirius blinked, utterly confused. "You look awful anxious for someone delivering really really good news."
Orihime sighed and looked up at Sirius. "Well. It's good for me, but I don't think you'll like it very much."
The pureblood raised an eyebrow. "You got another damn cat?"
Orihime nearly laughed with how innocuous a cat would seem when she finally told him. "No. Not another cat."
Sirius thought about it.
His eyes narrowed.
"Two cats?"
Orihime sighed again, and contemplated just telling him that she'd adopted a whole litter of cats rather than telling the truth. That or throwing up into the large purse of the witch two tables over and running away. "...no cats, Sirius."
The heir shrugged amiably. "Then I give up! Happily so. What's happened?"
Orihime attempted to swallow a lump, which had formed in her throat when she wasn't paying attention, and brought her hands to her face. "Sirius. Uryuu...Uryuu and I..."
"Oh, no." Sirius' mouth thinned into a line. "He broke up with you? That tosser, that bastard, when Im through with him he'll have to eat all his meals through a bloody straw-!!"
Orihime flailed. "No! He didn't break up with me!" So maybe this guessing game was even more painful than the truth. She bit her lip and thought for a moment, worrying it so hard that it nearly started to bleed. "...he proposed," she said finally, very quietly.
Bewildered, Sirius blinked. "Proposed what?"
"...he asked me to marry him."
Sirius stared.
"Have you two decided, then?" piped a cheerful waiter, who had materialised at Sirius' side.
Sirius turned to look at him. The ends of the waiter's spiked hair burst into flame.
"Oh," remarked Sirius absently. "Accidental wandless magic. I thought I'd grown out of that."
Orihime attempted to be polite to the waiter. "...could I just get a glass of water for now, please?" She avoided eye contact with Sirius like the plague.
The waiter, who hadnt realised his hair was on fire just yet, trilled a cheerful "Of course!" and made his way towards the kitchen to retrieve it. There was a long, awkward silence, which was only broken by frantic screaming from the kitchen, and the sounds of a plucky young chap getting beaten over the head with cooking implements.
Orihime winced, and stared at her hands, letting the awkward silence drag on.
As the last of the blood curdling screams died away, Sirius shook off his statuesque paralysis. He fumbled desperately in his pocket, withdrawing a battered carton of cigarettes. He shook out five, lighting them all at once. "So," he started, voice a croak. "What did you say?"
Orihime gnawed at her lip a bit more. "...I said yes."
Sirius took a drag on three cigarettes at once.
"Ah."
"...he bought me a ring."
Seastorm eyes darted to her finger. He hadnt noticed. "Ah." He expelled smoke off to the side, which spiraled up in the light.
Orihime covered the ring with her right hand and withdrew her hands into her lap.
"He didnt say anything to me," rasped the pureblood, after another bout of painfully awkward silence.
"...he didn't plan it ahead of time." Orihime fiddled with the ring under the table.
"Of course he didnt. Its not like marriage is a huge step, or anything." He took a fierce drag off 4/5 cigarettes.
Orihime sighed. "We'd both been thinking about it." There was another long, awkward pause. "...we're going to wait."
"I should bloody well think so," snapped Sirius. He looked away. "Marriage? You're not even- he's not-"
The pureblood made a frustrated noise. "Remus and I didnt get handfasted until we were in our bloody thirties."
Orihime fidgeted, still feeling on the verge of throwing up. "You can't compare me and Uryuu to you and Remus, Sirius. The circumstances are very different." She paused for a moment, not sure if this would be helpful or hurtful. "...how old were James and Lily when they got married?"
"Too young," replied Sirius cagily. "They wouldnt have done, if there hadnt been a war on."
Orihime sighed, worrying her lip again. "There's a war on, Sirius."
"Well you saw how a war-torn marriage ended up for them," rasped the heir, with an uncommonly bitter tone. She'd scratched a nerve.
Orihime nodded, frowning. "I know."
Sirius' eyes darted back to hers. "I dont think you do. I dont think you're stupid, Orihime, but I dont think you know at all."
Orihime nodded again, now on the verge of tears, but holding them back as hard as she could. "...okay. I'm sorry."
Sirius took another calming hit of nicotine. He looked uncomfortable, noticing how upset she was getting- but he had to press on. "Are. Are you sure about him?" He'd attempted to make his voice come off neutral, but it came out sounded far too stuffy and pureblooded for his liking.
Orihime took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Of course I am." She met Sirius' eyes. "I love him."
"You're seventeen," amended Sirius. "He's your first boyfriend, isnt he?"
"...yes." She fiddled absentmindedly with the ring.
"So how can you tell what is or isnt without anything to compare it to? Do you really want to only have dated one person your whole bloody life and-" Sirius made an inarticulate gesture with his hands.
Orihime kept her eyes locked with Sirius'. "Yes."
"Why?"
"...because I want to be with him for the rest of my life."
"Your'e seventeen," Sirius repeated.
He continued, blankly. "You dont know what you want."
Orihime broke eye contact. "Why not?"
The older man heaved a sigh. "Because you've barely any experience in- in these types of things. Its like buying a broom without even looking at the others in the shop. You may think the broom's top of the line, but there could be another in the stockroom thats scads better. And less of a prick."
He coughed.
Orihime sighed and shook her head. "I don't want to try any other brooms."
"You dont know any better," insisted Sirius, getting frustrated, and wishing teenagers came with a handbook. "You've never looked round the shop!"
Orihime was starting to get frustrated as well. "I'm not stupid, Sirius. I know you don't like Uryuu, but that doesn't mean..."
"I never said that!" Sirius interrupted.
"...I know....but..."
Sirius said nothing.
Orihime gnawed at her lip. "...I'm not going into this without thinking. I know what a big step this is and I know how old I am."
After a long, long silence, in which Sirius' fierce blue eyes trained on hers, the heir sighed. "Shit. Do you know how much of a bugger planning a wedding is?"
He started ticking things off, already thinking ahead. "We'll have to call the bakery and the catering companies, and make guest lists, and find a ballroom of some kind, and get all the tailoring done, and..."
Orihime's jaw dropped. "...what?"
Sirius blinked. "What? Im not letting you elope in the forest somewhere, like a bloody druid."
It took Orihime a moment to process Sirius' apparent sudden change of heart. "...no...Sirius...I..." the tears that had been threatening to spill over for the past few minutes finally did so.
There were a few kinds of men who knew just what to do when someone started crying. Generally, Sirius Black was not one of them. "Uh. Oh, dear, uh." He fished in his pocket, bringing out a handkerchief that looked like it had last been used by The Plant. He reached across the table, patting her cheek off. "Shh, its okay, uh. Blast, dont cry!"
Orihime jumped out of her seat and in a moment had her arms tightly around Sirius' neck.
"Oof!" went Sirius. After a moment, he smiled slightly, and hugged her back.
Orihime sighed into the hug, extremely relieved for the time being. She knew that Sirius still wasn't okay with the idea of her getting married, but at least now he was at least considering the idea.
After a long moment she realized that she was probably crushing him a bit, and that they were still in public, and she popped back into her own seat. "Sorry!" she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"Its fine," blustered Sirius, not being able to hide a beaming grin even remotely well. He stamped out the excessive cigarettes he'd lit. An asthmatic behind him wheezed in praise to the lord.
With another sigh, Orihime smiled. "Thank you. I promise it won't be for a very long time, Uryuu wants to wait until he's done with college, and that's over five years away. We'll be twenty-two by then." She took a sip of the water which she hadn't noticed was right in front of her, and she guessed had been put there magically. "And it will only be a very small wedding...I don't want a lot of people there. Just a few close friends. I wonder if Uryuu's father will even come." Orihime realized she was starting to ramble a bit and took a deep breath to stop herself before she got too carried away and started talking about babies or something.
"...Sirius?"
The pureblood looked a bit dazed, but smiled. "Yeah?"
Orihime blushed a bit and said softly, "...would you...would you give me away? I mean...walk me down the aisle..."
Their now bald and scorched waiter had shied timidly up. "Are.. are you ready to order, uh, now?"
Sirius looked at him. The man threw up a multi-coloured flock of doves.
"I'd love to," he grinned.
Orihime grinned back, oblivious to the doves or the waiter, who was currently coughing up orange feathers. "Thank you."
Suddenly, Orihime's stomach rumbled loudly. She giggled.
Sirius chuckled. "Perhaps we should order, then. Waiter, I'll have-"
The waiter cut him off, after choking out a lime green bird. "LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
Singed and hiccuping feathers, he stalked away.