The Last Star
sorry if this is not the right format or something...this is my first time.
I actually wrote this a long time ago, but I just had to post it after listening to Blue Tomorrow...oh Kyu, why do you keep finding ways to kill me
Disclaimer: uh i dont own anyone?
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Bend, fold, tuck.
Long slender fingers worked nimbly with the long piece of blue paper. It twisted, morphed and slowly molded itself into a shape. Three dimensional, no longer flat, lifeless. A star.
996…997 …
The numbers ticked like clockwork in his brain, leaving a swirl of some unknown feeling behind. Kyuhyun can almost taste it. A little bitter, a little sweet. Fingers brushed through sharp, paper edges. Blunt, but cutting nevertheless. He wondered if he pressed hard enough, it would draw blood.
Unfold, flatten, smooth out. There was always one he wasn’t happy with. One with some small flaw- an unbalanced tip, a dent, not enough volume- minuscule problems that no one else could pick up. Flaws that didn’t even exist outside his eyes. But every night, ever since the jar was full, he had always been able to find one that was not perfect. The jar was plain, smooth and unadorned, made of simple translucent glass that hid nothing, yet somehow hid everything all at once. It was large and sat by his bed, the colourful contents inside filled to the brim. Every night, he would tip the entire jar onto his bed, and start counting them one by one. Even though he knew perfectly well how many stars were in that jar- had he not made each one with his own hands?- he didn’t really know. He didn't remember. Couldn’t remember.
…998…999…
Every time he managed to reach the 999th star without finding a fault in all the previous ones, it would look wrong to him. For some reason, it would bother him so much that his fingers instinctively moved to unravel it. He would slowly, lovingly make a new star out of a new strip of paper. By the time it was perfect and he was finished, he would be too exhausted to keep counting the stars. So, Kyuhyun would shove all the stars back into the jar carefully and go to sleep. He always told himself that he’ll finish counting it tomorrow.
Kyuhyun has only ever finished counting the jar once. It was the first time he had finished folding a thousand stars. He had folded and folded, until his hands were red and tears flowed from his eyes. Hankyung hyung had told him once (back when all he could do was lie there on those white sheets like a robot waiting to be given the means to move, to live) that if he folded a thousand stars, his truest wish will be granted. Kyuhyun knew what his truest wish was- is. But even though he ignored the worry glances of the others, when he had shut himself in his room, not sleeping, not eating until he was finished, nothing happened. His wish didn’t come true. Kyuhyun told himself he must’ve counted wrong, because Hankyung hyung never lied. Yes, that’s what must’ve happened.
Every night after that, Kyuhyun would diligently count the stars in the jar. But he has never finished counting it. He never reaches the thousandth star; the star that he knows is there, because that would mean he didn’t count wrong. That his wish wouldn’t eventually come true one day. As long as he always finds something wrong with one, as long as he messes up counting or falls asleep halfway, Kyuhyun can keep telling himself that when he actually finally reaches that thousandth star- when the jar is finally full- his wish will come true. As long as he never reaches that last star, Kyuhyun can believe that Hankyung hyung will come back one day.
I actually wrote this a long time ago, but I just had to post it after listening to Blue Tomorrow...oh Kyu, why do you keep finding ways to kill me
Disclaimer: uh i dont own anyone?
************************
Bend, fold, tuck.
Long slender fingers worked nimbly with the long piece of blue paper. It twisted, morphed and slowly molded itself into a shape. Three dimensional, no longer flat, lifeless. A star.
996…997 …
The numbers ticked like clockwork in his brain, leaving a swirl of some unknown feeling behind. Kyuhyun can almost taste it. A little bitter, a little sweet. Fingers brushed through sharp, paper edges. Blunt, but cutting nevertheless. He wondered if he pressed hard enough, it would draw blood.
Unfold, flatten, smooth out. There was always one he wasn’t happy with. One with some small flaw- an unbalanced tip, a dent, not enough volume- minuscule problems that no one else could pick up. Flaws that didn’t even exist outside his eyes. But every night, ever since the jar was full, he had always been able to find one that was not perfect. The jar was plain, smooth and unadorned, made of simple translucent glass that hid nothing, yet somehow hid everything all at once. It was large and sat by his bed, the colourful contents inside filled to the brim. Every night, he would tip the entire jar onto his bed, and start counting them one by one. Even though he knew perfectly well how many stars were in that jar- had he not made each one with his own hands?- he didn’t really know. He didn't remember. Couldn’t remember.
…998…999…
Every time he managed to reach the 999th star without finding a fault in all the previous ones, it would look wrong to him. For some reason, it would bother him so much that his fingers instinctively moved to unravel it. He would slowly, lovingly make a new star out of a new strip of paper. By the time it was perfect and he was finished, he would be too exhausted to keep counting the stars. So, Kyuhyun would shove all the stars back into the jar carefully and go to sleep. He always told himself that he’ll finish counting it tomorrow.
Kyuhyun has only ever finished counting the jar once. It was the first time he had finished folding a thousand stars. He had folded and folded, until his hands were red and tears flowed from his eyes. Hankyung hyung had told him once (back when all he could do was lie there on those white sheets like a robot waiting to be given the means to move, to live) that if he folded a thousand stars, his truest wish will be granted. Kyuhyun knew what his truest wish was- is. But even though he ignored the worry glances of the others, when he had shut himself in his room, not sleeping, not eating until he was finished, nothing happened. His wish didn’t come true. Kyuhyun told himself he must’ve counted wrong, because Hankyung hyung never lied. Yes, that’s what must’ve happened.
Every night after that, Kyuhyun would diligently count the stars in the jar. But he has never finished counting it. He never reaches the thousandth star; the star that he knows is there, because that would mean he didn’t count wrong. That his wish wouldn’t eventually come true one day. As long as he always finds something wrong with one, as long as he messes up counting or falls asleep halfway, Kyuhyun can keep telling himself that when he actually finally reaches that thousandth star- when the jar is finally full- his wish will come true. As long as he never reaches that last star, Kyuhyun can believe that Hankyung hyung will come back one day.