Wishes
Happy birthday,Shiwonnie~~ I know it's not his real birthday, but I love Shihan too much not to celebrate the one straight after Geng's. This is just a little thing I whipped up for Shisus and his Shibrows <3 It's also for syusuke_kun31 AND miangel_zezchic cuz i've been depriving her of shihan and she has an axe XD
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Wishes
She is beautiful, stunning even. Large brown eyes with thick long lashes and small cherry lips set in soft porcelain skin, all framed with long curly brown hair. She was tall, slender, very delicate. She was polite, cute and giggled in a sweet way whenever he said something remotely funny. She always knew what to say, and spoke in an articulate and clear voice. She didn’t lose one bit to the famous models and actresses he used to associate with. This is his fiancé, the perfect daughter in law, the one his parents had handpicked for him.
To Siwon, she is a doll, a fake blown-up doll that had no real talent of her own and simply a pretty face, which probably wasn’t even the one God gave her. Her eyes were too wide, a shade too light. He couldn’t drown in them. Her lips were too round and full, too red and taken care of. He couldn’t be the one to put lip balm on it. Her hair was too long, too curly and too delicate. He couldn’t run his hands through them, then simply pat it back into place. It was the wrong colour too. He couldn’t match the black or contrast the blonde perfectly with his own dark hair. Her voice was too high, and she spoke too articulately. He couldn’t tease her about her accent or secretly teach her swear words to use against Heechul.
When he held her hands, his hands were steady and cool, not sweaty and shaking slightly in excitement or nervousness. When he held her, his arm settled into soft curves, not fitting along hard muscle. When they went out, he was polite and gentlemanly. Not immature, and teasing, mucking around, being his true self. When he kissed her, it was quick, methodic, not filled with longing, and ending with gasping breathes. Being with her was routines and forced smiles, not flushed cheeks and trying to rein in a beating heart.
She was everything he needed, good for his image, his future, his standing in the family, his place with God. She wasn’t anything he wanted. He missed playful punches, soft shoves, cute teasing. He missed the hard work, the blood and tears of slaving away in the practice rooms together. He missed the awe and pride of shining on stage next to each other. He missed speaking in their special way, the looks, the lingering touches. He missed that soft laughter, the unique accent and his missed the way the other’s hand would slide so perfectly into his own.
She was his fifth girlfriend since he had gone. Siwon had always found something wrong with them. They couldn’t dance, they couldn’t cook fried rice, they didn’t love China… In the end, his parents ran out of patience and had just picked one out for him. He didn’t care, it wasn’t like he was waiting to meet the girl of his dreams one day. Why did it matter?
After all Siwon knows exactly what he wants…or rather who he wants. He had thought perhaps he was simply not into girls, but that was quickly discarded. He wasn’t into men either. Siwon had thought as long as he gets all the qualities and characteristics he wanted, he would be fine. But, no, he wasn’t into his girlfriends, the random flings, not even his fiancé. He was into him. But they can’t be together now and he has stopped living. Now he simply survives, life filled with fake smiles, ‘caring’ concern, and meaningless conversation and events.
Siwon misses him, misses everything about him. And he wishes most of all that he could turn back time. Because then, they would be together and Siwon will never have to wish for anything again.
UNF.
<3
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Wishes
She is beautiful, stunning even. Large brown eyes with thick long lashes and small cherry lips set in soft porcelain skin, all framed with long curly brown hair. She was tall, slender, very delicate. She was polite, cute and giggled in a sweet way whenever he said something remotely funny. She always knew what to say, and spoke in an articulate and clear voice. She didn’t lose one bit to the famous models and actresses he used to associate with. This is his fiancé, the perfect daughter in law, the one his parents had handpicked for him.
To Siwon, she is a doll, a fake blown-up doll that had no real talent of her own and simply a pretty face, which probably wasn’t even the one God gave her. Her eyes were too wide, a shade too light. He couldn’t drown in them. Her lips were too round and full, too red and taken care of. He couldn’t be the one to put lip balm on it. Her hair was too long, too curly and too delicate. He couldn’t run his hands through them, then simply pat it back into place. It was the wrong colour too. He couldn’t match the black or contrast the blonde perfectly with his own dark hair. Her voice was too high, and she spoke too articulately. He couldn’t tease her about her accent or secretly teach her swear words to use against Heechul.
When he held her hands, his hands were steady and cool, not sweaty and shaking slightly in excitement or nervousness. When he held her, his arm settled into soft curves, not fitting along hard muscle. When they went out, he was polite and gentlemanly. Not immature, and teasing, mucking around, being his true self. When he kissed her, it was quick, methodic, not filled with longing, and ending with gasping breathes. Being with her was routines and forced smiles, not flushed cheeks and trying to rein in a beating heart.
She was everything he needed, good for his image, his future, his standing in the family, his place with God. She wasn’t anything he wanted. He missed playful punches, soft shoves, cute teasing. He missed the hard work, the blood and tears of slaving away in the practice rooms together. He missed the awe and pride of shining on stage next to each other. He missed speaking in their special way, the looks, the lingering touches. He missed that soft laughter, the unique accent and his missed the way the other’s hand would slide so perfectly into his own.
She was his fifth girlfriend since he had gone. Siwon had always found something wrong with them. They couldn’t dance, they couldn’t cook fried rice, they didn’t love China… In the end, his parents ran out of patience and had just picked one out for him. He didn’t care, it wasn’t like he was waiting to meet the girl of his dreams one day. Why did it matter?
After all Siwon knows exactly what he wants…or rather who he wants. He had thought perhaps he was simply not into girls, but that was quickly discarded. He wasn’t into men either. Siwon had thought as long as he gets all the qualities and characteristics he wanted, he would be fine. But, no, he wasn’t into his girlfriends, the random flings, not even his fiancé. He was into him. But they can’t be together now and he has stopped living. Now he simply survives, life filled with fake smiles, ‘caring’ concern, and meaningless conversation and events.
Siwon misses him, misses everything about him. And he wishes most of all that he could turn back time. Because then, they would be together and Siwon will never have to wish for anything again.
UNF.
<3