Insomnia
For l_toxicated who liked my hanwook a long time ago and i know it's angst, but this is for Ryeowookie's birthday :D
Insomnia
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
He closes his eyes and he lies in bed and the pillows are fluffy and the sheets soft and he can’t sleep.
Eeteuk comes in and tucks him in and there’s a hand stroking his hair and a kiss dropped on his forehead and Ryeowook smiles and snuggles deeper into his blankets and there’s a sleepy expression on his face as he waves goodbye to their leader.
The door closes and Ryeowook stares at the ceiling and counts sheep and he’s somewhere between 5001 and 5002 when there’s the sound of laughter echoing through the walls and Ryeowook remembers the time when he had spent the entire night making cookies with-
Ryeowook blinks and something stumbles inside of him and he starts again at one.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
He exercises more and he practices extra hard each day and he’s absolutely exhausted and his limbs hurt, but when he lies down, he can’t sleep.
Sungmin shoves a cup of warm milk at him before bed and Ryeowook drinks it even though he knows it won’t work, because that’s how he is and Sungmin is sweet to try and the others are staring at him in concern.
Yesung comes in and wraps his arms around Ryeowook’s thin frame and sings him a lullaby, his voice low and soothing and Ryeowook resists the urge to shove Yesung off the bed.
(it wasn’t his bed)
Yesung is on his fouth song when Ryeowook lets his head tilt back and his body relax and Yesung stops singing in the middle of a note and the silence is deafening.
When the other man finaly leaves, Ryeowook wraps his arms around his own body and mouthes a Chinese lullaby sang to him long ago into his pillow and he doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he’s choking on nothing.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
It’s in the middle of an interview when the interviewer mentions it and Ryeowook feels Donghae stiffens up beside him and he can see Kyuhyun’s hands clench into a fist.
Ryeowook feels like he’s falling and there’s nothing to catch him and when he’s finally jerked back to the stable world, Shiwon is pulling him up off the floor and someone is screaming ‘cut’.
Their manager tells them they have a break and that there’s a couch in the corner and maybe Ryeowook should get some rest. Ryeowook lies down obediently and closes his eyes and spends the entire time counting how many aliens Kyuhyun have destroyed next to him.
He doesn’t want to sleep, because he’s terrified of something he can’t see and he doesn’t even know what it is.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
Eunhyuk buys Ryeowook a giant teddy bear one day and it has the most ridiculous looking pink bow around it and Ryeowook laughs because it’s clear Eunhyuk spent ages trying to make it look pretty. He cuddles it to sleep that night, because it’s soft and fluffy and makes Ryeowook think happy thoughts.
He hugs his new present and stares at the little, scruffy panda resting on the other pillow and the white fur and the dark circles rimming the eyes makes Ryeowook think of pale skin and blood on a moonless night.
There’s a sharp screech of metal against his ear and flashing lights swirling behinds his eyelids and shaking hands slick with something sliding against his skin.
Ryeowook throws the teddy bear at the panda and both disappear over the edge of his bed and he curls up and tries to breathe.
He won’t sleep, because he’s digging his nails into his palms and thinking of someone he shouldn’t be and Ryeowook won’t let himself watch the other die again.
(he won’t let himself die all over again)
//
/biasbiasbias
<3
Insomnia
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
He closes his eyes and he lies in bed and the pillows are fluffy and the sheets soft and he can’t sleep.
Eeteuk comes in and tucks him in and there’s a hand stroking his hair and a kiss dropped on his forehead and Ryeowook smiles and snuggles deeper into his blankets and there’s a sleepy expression on his face as he waves goodbye to their leader.
The door closes and Ryeowook stares at the ceiling and counts sheep and he’s somewhere between 5001 and 5002 when there’s the sound of laughter echoing through the walls and Ryeowook remembers the time when he had spent the entire night making cookies with-
Ryeowook blinks and something stumbles inside of him and he starts again at one.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
He exercises more and he practices extra hard each day and he’s absolutely exhausted and his limbs hurt, but when he lies down, he can’t sleep.
Sungmin shoves a cup of warm milk at him before bed and Ryeowook drinks it even though he knows it won’t work, because that’s how he is and Sungmin is sweet to try and the others are staring at him in concern.
Yesung comes in and wraps his arms around Ryeowook’s thin frame and sings him a lullaby, his voice low and soothing and Ryeowook resists the urge to shove Yesung off the bed.
(it wasn’t his bed)
Yesung is on his fouth song when Ryeowook lets his head tilt back and his body relax and Yesung stops singing in the middle of a note and the silence is deafening.
When the other man finaly leaves, Ryeowook wraps his arms around his own body and mouthes a Chinese lullaby sang to him long ago into his pillow and he doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he’s choking on nothing.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
It’s in the middle of an interview when the interviewer mentions it and Ryeowook feels Donghae stiffens up beside him and he can see Kyuhyun’s hands clench into a fist.
Ryeowook feels like he’s falling and there’s nothing to catch him and when he’s finally jerked back to the stable world, Shiwon is pulling him up off the floor and someone is screaming ‘cut’.
Their manager tells them they have a break and that there’s a couch in the corner and maybe Ryeowook should get some rest. Ryeowook lies down obediently and closes his eyes and spends the entire time counting how many aliens Kyuhyun have destroyed next to him.
He doesn’t want to sleep, because he’s terrified of something he can’t see and he doesn’t even know what it is.
Ryeowook can’t sleep.
Eunhyuk buys Ryeowook a giant teddy bear one day and it has the most ridiculous looking pink bow around it and Ryeowook laughs because it’s clear Eunhyuk spent ages trying to make it look pretty. He cuddles it to sleep that night, because it’s soft and fluffy and makes Ryeowook think happy thoughts.
He hugs his new present and stares at the little, scruffy panda resting on the other pillow and the white fur and the dark circles rimming the eyes makes Ryeowook think of pale skin and blood on a moonless night.
There’s a sharp screech of metal against his ear and flashing lights swirling behinds his eyelids and shaking hands slick with something sliding against his skin.
Ryeowook throws the teddy bear at the panda and both disappear over the edge of his bed and he curls up and tries to breathe.
He won’t sleep, because he’s digging his nails into his palms and thinking of someone he shouldn’t be and Ryeowook won’t let himself watch the other die again.
(he won’t let himself die all over again)
//
/biasbiasbias
<3