Addicted (to you)
Title: Addicted (to you)
Pairing: SiMin (Siwon/Sungmin), HyukMin, Shihan
Summary: Who we need is not always who we want. Siwon has an addiction that only Sungmin can help him with...
Rating: NC-17 (graphic sex)
Genre: angst, smut
A/N: for my bb mawaru_berry who adores this pairing~
Addicted (to you)
Sungmin is still with Hyukjae when he gets up in the middle of the night and walks in on Siwon masturbating in the bathroom. There’s an awkward pause and Sungmin quickly mutters an apology and leaves whilst Siwon stammers for something to say.
It’s not unusual by any means; they were all used to taking care of their own problem at one point or another. Even Sungmin who had Hyukjae, had to resort to his own hand when their schedules clashed. It wasn’t a big deal, but something about the look in Siwon’s eyes stays with Sungmin even as he slips into bed.
There was hunger in those eyes.
Everything is fine the next day and Siwon is mucking around with Donghae and Hyukjae, throwing a cat-shaped ball around whilst Leeteuk fussed over Ryeowook who was ill and Hankyung somehow managing to sleep through it all, face pressed into Kyuhyun’s shoulder; the youngest struggling to win a game with only his left hand.
Siwon gently scolds Yesung for using the God’s name in vain and tries, unsuccessfully, to convince Heechul to go to church with him this weekend and Sungmin thinks it’s all in his head. Siwon was just as God-loving, gentlemanly as usual.
Nevertheless, he pays more attention to the taller man after that, picking up on small inconsistencies in his behavior or moments when he seemed extra stressed or tense. Mostly, Siwon is perfectly normal, but at times, Sungmin gets the feeling that the man is tittering on the edge of something.
Then one night just as Sungmin is prepared to go talk to Siwon, he sees the other man sneak out of the dormitory, stepping lightly to not wake of the others. Despite telling himself that he was being paranoid and stakerish, Sungmin follows his bandmate.
They end up winding through several alleyways and into a dark building with red neon signs and lanterns swinging slightly in the wind. Sungmin doesn’t go in, he’s too scared of what he’ll find.
Siwon looks both energized and conflicted the next morning, movement animated, but eyes dull. They go about their schedule and Siwon is particularly clingy to Leeteuk today, sticking close to their leader like a puppy. He looks so innocent that Sungmin wonders wildly if Siwon was sleepwalking the other day.
That night, Siwon sneaks out again at 3am and this time, Sungmin follows him inside that place with black walls and red lanterns. Everyone is wearing masks and Sungmin lets his shock and disgust twist his expression, because no on can see anyway. There are smaller rooms everywhere with no doors and lots of couches, tables and beds arragned messily around the main room. Everywhere, people are fucking lewdly, up against the walls and on top of the tables, erotic moans unrestrained and bare flesh blinding.
Sungmin finds Siwon in one of the back rooms, fucking a Chinese boy that looks too much like a certain dancer for it to be a coincidence. Siwon isn’t gentle or poised right now; he’s snapping his hips back and thrusting repeatedly into the boy’s swollen entrance, fucking him into the desk.
Siwon sees him, head whipping around, eyes wide and shocked, but he doesn’t stop- it’s like he can’t stop, Sungmin thinks dimly- hips jerking forward, again and again, almost frantically. There is a wildness and desperation in that face, which clears into one of shock and horror as soon as he comes, quickly pulling out and yanking his pants up, staring at Sungmin distressed.
“Sungmin-ah,” Siwon mutters hoarsely, hands shaking as they reach out towards him.
Sungmin runs.
They don’t talk about it, not for a whole week. Sungmin loses himself in Hyukjae, making sure he’s tiring himself out enough to not hear if Siwon is sneaking out again. He doesn’t want to know if Siwon is fucking that Chinese boy again, wishing it was someone else; he doesn’t want to know that the Siwon he thought he knew, the Siwon he had liked, was just a lie.
Part of him is not sure why he cares so much. Another part of him tells him that he’s going to get sucked in; it’s Siwon, his heart mocks him.
(it’s always been Siwon)
They have a photoshoot and Hankyung is wearing the tightest pair of jeans Sungmin has ever laid eyes on, a faded white pair of skinnies that hug the generous curve of his ass and moulds around the firm, tone muscles down those long, long legs. Donghae is glancing guiltily at the Chinese man, struggling to keep his eyes above waist level and failing miserably. Kyuhyun was staring unashamedly, dark eyes raking up and down, drinking in the sight with a grin. Siwon is the one who has to pose with Hankyung though, a hand on his hip and another at his elbow, Hankyung leaning backward so that a peek of skin showed from his waist and one of his legs was edged between Siwon’s.
As soon as the photographer calls cut, Siwon rushes off immediately, mumbling something about bathroom and Sungmin glances at Hyukjae before he follows quickly.
Siwon is in the last stall of the toilet when Sungmin finds him, hands around his erect cock and pumping furiously, forehead scrunched and breathing uneven. It’s just something so un-Siwon like that Sungmin can’t help it when he bursts out, “Why don’t you just tell him you want him so badly?!”
Siwon glances up, but much like before, he can’t seem to control himself and his movements don’t stop, “I-I don’t want to hurt him.”
Sungmin frowns and he wills himself not to stare at how big Siwon is, “Why would you hurt him? I mean-“
Siwon sounds winded, although from his actions or his words, Sungmin is not sure, “It’s not just that I desire him, Sungminnie, I- I have a problem with…sex.” At Sungmin’s puzzled frown he continues, “I-I want-need it. All the time. I…I’m addicted to it, you can say.”
“You’re a…sex addict?” Sungmin doesn’t bother hiding the shock in his voice, because surely he was dreaming. Perfect Siwon who everyone wanted, couldn’t be a…sex addict, it wasn’t right.
Siwon nods curtly, before jerking, hot whte liquid spilling hard and fast over his hand, the taller man slumping with a quiet gasp. “Yes, yes I am.”
It’s funny, Sungmin thinks as he averts his eyes as Siwon cleans himself up, how he can watch the other jerk himself off, but he feels the need to look away now. Sungmin moves towards the door, Siwon’s voice making him pause, “Do you hate me now?”
“No,” the answer comes quiet, but sincere. He can’t see, but he sense that Siwon is smiling.
The darkest part of Sungmin, if he ever dare look deep enough, has always wanted to find some terrible flaw with Siwon, something so unthinkable that it will disgust everyone, with only Sungmin being able to understand, to help him, to fix the broken yet still glorious man.
Because also in that darkest place inside of him, Sungmin has long hidden his desire for the other man.
After the talk with Sungmin, Siwon stops going to the brothel. He would bid Sungmin a good night each night and greet him each morning with a smile and Sungmin feels like he’s changed the world.
Everything goes perfectly for a week and Sungmin breathes easier knowing Siwon isn’t out there doing something that can ruin his career- their whole band- if found out.
But then as the days edge pass, he starts noticing Siwon getting restless and increasingly less patient, growling at Shindong and getting frustrated over the smallest things. And Sungmin doesn’t miss the way his eyes linger hungrily over the other members.
Sungmin sneaks Hyukjae’s porn for Siwon and another week passes by without incident; but then the other man stops locking himself in his room with his laptop and his mood starts to change again. The others are beginning to pick up on his weird mood swings, Hankyung and Leeteuk eyeing him with concern, as if worried for his health.
Just as Sungmin is about to do something, Siwon’s mood suddenly improves again and it takes Sungmin an entire week to figure out why.
Sungmin’s legs are slung over Hyukjae’s shoulders as the younger man thrusts into him, their moans filling the room. Hyukjae comes deep inside him and Sungmin throws his head back. And he sees Siwon staring back at him. They both freezes and Sungmin knows that he should shout and alert his lover, but there’s something so deliciously taboo about this that he bites down on his lips and comes staring at the voyeuristic man.
Even that is not enough soon and Sungmin grows increasingly concerned as he catches Siwon eyeing Henry and rubbing up against Hankyung whilst they’re on stage. Heebum has also suddenly developed a fear of the Christian man.
Sungmin intercepts Siwon as the other is trying to sneak out and Siwon clutches at him with a mixture of desperation need and frenzied insanity. “You can’t go, Siwon. Please, I know you can control it, you’re strong, you-“
Siwon lets out something that’s part shout, part whimper, and before Sungmin can open his mouth, Siwon is shoving him onto the floor, mouth closed over his and grinding down frantically, hips jerking and rubbing against Sungmin’s cock. Sungmin stops struggling, as Siwon slides a large hand inside his pajama pants and quickly jerks his member to full hardness. Siwon undoes his own pants, the belt clinking loudly as its flung to the side, before pulling down Sungmin’s, two fingers entering dry. Siwon’s got a hand over the smaller man’s mouth as he works Sungmin open painfully, eyes wild as he pushes inside, breath hitching at the tightness, Sungmin screaming against Siwon’s hand.
He’s fucked against the floor of the lounge room, his boyfriend barely ten meters away and Siwon isn’t careful or gentle and it fucking hurts, but Sungmin hasn’t felt so exhilarated in a long time.
Siwon can’t meet his eyes the next day, the guilt and regret shining into his cereal. He barely gets anything down and Ryeowook is fluttering around him worriedly, offering to cook him pancakes and Hankyung offers to make him Beijing Fried Rice.
Sungmin’s ass hasn’t hurt like this in a long time; Hyukjae always made sure he was well prepped. He thinks of last night and a tingle rushes down his spine at the myriad of explicit images that flood his mind. Hyukjae asking him if he’s alright, stops Sungmin from fantasizing about the next time.
A quick blowjob before they go on stage. The euphoric sex after a win. Fucking in the bathroom, their cries muffled by the sound of running water. Sungmin staying behind to look after a sick Siwon whilst the other go out, then being bent over the table and screwed like a whore.
They get into a routine of sorts; mind blowing sex whenever Siwon needs it, no talking during or afterwards, a day or two of Siwon feeling guilty and then they’d find another place to fuck like crazy.
Then, something that makes both Sungmin and Siwon fearful- SJM’s formation. Siwon may be over the moon about pairing with Hankyung and getting to spend much more time with him, but the problem that neither of them talked about was what exactly SIwon was going to do without Sungmin in China.
Sungmin let’s Siwon fade from the forefront of his mind and it’s both relaxing and lonely. He doesn’t ask Siwon about what’s going on because frankly, Sungmin doesn’t want to know if he’s out fucking strangers again, or worse, found a replacement for him. The idea of Siwon treating one of the other members the way he did Sungmin, the idea that he alone wasn’t Siwon’s confident anymore, made his stomach go cold.
Nothing stays quiet though, especially not in a band like theirs. He hears of Siwon and Zhoumi ‘exploring their friendship’ and of Siwon romancing Ri In. He especially hears of the infamous foursome between Kyuhyun, Donghae, Hankyung and Siwon.
It’s not enough though, Sungmin can see it everytime they watch SJM on television or on the internet. That hunger is there in Siwon’s eyes and Sungmin know the other man is restraining himself tremendously in order to not screw up Hankyung’s dream and his view of his ‘sworn-brother’.
The sex with Hyukjae increases dramatically and it’s only now that Sungmin realizes just how much he had been screwing around with Siwon. Sungmin is like a horny teenager who wants it all the time and it gets so bad that he lies in bed after a few rounds with his boyfriend, and dreams of flying to China to corner Siwon in a staircase or a dark room.
The day SJM finally come back, Siwon makes an excuse about going to see his parents and Sungmin says something about visiting a friend who just arrived in Seoul and they wound up in a hotel barely two blocks from their dormitory.
The second the door shuts, Sungmin reaches to kiss Siwon, but the other man throws him onto the bed and rips off his clothes with a ferocity Sungmin hasn’t seen before. Sungmin feels his shirt tear and the burn of denim against soft skin, but he doesn’t protest because he knows how much Siwon has been bottling up all year, not having anyone to fuck freely like he does Sungmin and not always being able to sneak out to go to a brothel. The man was insanely sex-deprived and Sungmin can feel the intense need as Siwon flips him onto his front and then he’s screaming into the pillow when three fingers force their way in without lube. Once, twice, three times then the fingers are out and his whole body is shuddering as Siwon pushes inside forcefully. It’s far too soon and Sungmin is still gasping, when Siwon starts moving, the friction agonizing against raw muscles. Each thrust rips him apart and Sungmin is sobbing as the other fucks him hard into the mattress. Sungmin’s own erection is pressed into the hard mattress, not given any attention at all as SIwon pounds into him vigorously.
Even with the spasming pain, the pleasure is still there and soon Sungmin comes all over the sheets just as Siwon empties into him.
Even though he wants to tell Siwon to stop, that’s enough for now, the words don’t make it out of his mouth and Sungmin lies there and waits, eyes squeezed shut, body trembling. Sure enough, minutes later, hands grip his hips and lift him until he’s on all fours, his backside protesting at the movement. Siwon thrusts into him without any preparation this time and Sungmin’s tender entrance explodes with pain, spiking down his spine and up to his brain and through his whole body.
Siwon is huge, large hands and larger cock, much bigger than Hyukjae and even on the days when
Siwon is gentle and slow, the size and length isn’t easy to take. But when he’s being rough, it’s too much for Sungmin to handle and he wonders if he’s just going to tear down the middle. Still, Siwon can make him moan and scream like no other and Sungmin has gone through the pain of dancing with a sore backside and still came back for more.
He’s slumped down on the bed now, too spent to hold himself up, his ass still in the air, being plundered by Siwon’s cock. When Siwon shoots his load into Sungmin this time, some of it flows down the back of his thighs and he collapses as soon as SIwon lets go. He’s drifting off to sleep, to worn out by the whole thing, when Sungmin is turned onto his back and his legs parted. It’s not as rough this time, but it still burns when Siwon enters him again and Sungmin is crying as Siwon snaps his hips franctically, hot breath in his ear as the other pants. His body isn’t sane anymore and even though it hurts, Sungmin comes anyway, all over Siwon’s gorgeous abs and this time he falls into unconsciousness immediately.
Hours later, Sungmin is woken up by Siwon’s raging erection up his ass, because the younger man had not pulled out after their last round. Siwon wakes with a groan and his eyes turn dark with lust as soon as he sees Sungmin and he realizes his cock is still inside the other. Siwon maneuvers Sungmin until he’s on top, straddling Siwon and the older man cries out at the sudden pressure against his prostate. Siwon grabs his slim hips and lifts it up before slamming it down, Sungmin moaning and choking as he’s made to ride Siwon’s cock, his over-fucked passage screaming in protest. The rhythm Siwon sets for him is brutal and he loses consciousness before he can come.
He’s so far gone that he doesn’t even wake up the next time Siwon’s fingers slide inside, not until Siwon’s slamming inside of him, the pain jerking him awake with a scream. Sungmin finds his legs thrown over Siwon’s broad shoulders and large hands gripping his hips tightly, the younger man pounding repeatedly into him, shaking the bed and sending waves of shock and pain throughout Sungmin’s body and brain. This is the first time that Sungmin has not wanted it, not been thrilled; has in fact, wanted Siwon to stop, please, oh god stop, it hurts too much, but he doesn’t say anything; lets the other man sodomize him completely, fuck his brains out without saying a word.
Siwon needs this, his heart tells him. (his brain tells him, he needs this to stop)
It’s the first thought that carries him through the pain and through the rest of the long, hard night. It’s with that thought in mind that he falls asleep, tears drying on his face.
Sungmin wakes up the next morning, feeling like he’s dying. Every single part of his body feels numb, yet everything hurts. His backside feels like it’s been ripped open and sown back together with barbed wire, his entrance a bloody mess. Moving sends avalanches of pain thundering through him, but he does it anyway, shuffling closer to the sleeping man next to him. Gingerly he wraps his arms around Siwon’s waist and buries his face in the other’s chest, trying to breath in Siwon’s distinct smell amid the overpowering smell of sex hanging in the air.
It’s not just about the intense sex anymore, Sungmin realizes weakly, as he lay trembling like a broken toy, his body and the sheets covered in blood and cum.
Somewhere along the line, I want you has become I love you.
//
Pairing: SiMin (Siwon/Sungmin), HyukMin, Shihan
Summary: Who we need is not always who we want. Siwon has an addiction that only Sungmin can help him with...
Rating: NC-17 (graphic sex)
Genre: angst, smut
A/N: for my bb mawaru_berry who adores this pairing~
Addicted (to you)
Sungmin is still with Hyukjae when he gets up in the middle of the night and walks in on Siwon masturbating in the bathroom. There’s an awkward pause and Sungmin quickly mutters an apology and leaves whilst Siwon stammers for something to say.
It’s not unusual by any means; they were all used to taking care of their own problem at one point or another. Even Sungmin who had Hyukjae, had to resort to his own hand when their schedules clashed. It wasn’t a big deal, but something about the look in Siwon’s eyes stays with Sungmin even as he slips into bed.
There was hunger in those eyes.
Everything is fine the next day and Siwon is mucking around with Donghae and Hyukjae, throwing a cat-shaped ball around whilst Leeteuk fussed over Ryeowook who was ill and Hankyung somehow managing to sleep through it all, face pressed into Kyuhyun’s shoulder; the youngest struggling to win a game with only his left hand.
Siwon gently scolds Yesung for using the God’s name in vain and tries, unsuccessfully, to convince Heechul to go to church with him this weekend and Sungmin thinks it’s all in his head. Siwon was just as God-loving, gentlemanly as usual.
Nevertheless, he pays more attention to the taller man after that, picking up on small inconsistencies in his behavior or moments when he seemed extra stressed or tense. Mostly, Siwon is perfectly normal, but at times, Sungmin gets the feeling that the man is tittering on the edge of something.
Then one night just as Sungmin is prepared to go talk to Siwon, he sees the other man sneak out of the dormitory, stepping lightly to not wake of the others. Despite telling himself that he was being paranoid and stakerish, Sungmin follows his bandmate.
They end up winding through several alleyways and into a dark building with red neon signs and lanterns swinging slightly in the wind. Sungmin doesn’t go in, he’s too scared of what he’ll find.
Siwon looks both energized and conflicted the next morning, movement animated, but eyes dull. They go about their schedule and Siwon is particularly clingy to Leeteuk today, sticking close to their leader like a puppy. He looks so innocent that Sungmin wonders wildly if Siwon was sleepwalking the other day.
That night, Siwon sneaks out again at 3am and this time, Sungmin follows him inside that place with black walls and red lanterns. Everyone is wearing masks and Sungmin lets his shock and disgust twist his expression, because no on can see anyway. There are smaller rooms everywhere with no doors and lots of couches, tables and beds arragned messily around the main room. Everywhere, people are fucking lewdly, up against the walls and on top of the tables, erotic moans unrestrained and bare flesh blinding.
Sungmin finds Siwon in one of the back rooms, fucking a Chinese boy that looks too much like a certain dancer for it to be a coincidence. Siwon isn’t gentle or poised right now; he’s snapping his hips back and thrusting repeatedly into the boy’s swollen entrance, fucking him into the desk.
Siwon sees him, head whipping around, eyes wide and shocked, but he doesn’t stop- it’s like he can’t stop, Sungmin thinks dimly- hips jerking forward, again and again, almost frantically. There is a wildness and desperation in that face, which clears into one of shock and horror as soon as he comes, quickly pulling out and yanking his pants up, staring at Sungmin distressed.
“Sungmin-ah,” Siwon mutters hoarsely, hands shaking as they reach out towards him.
Sungmin runs.
They don’t talk about it, not for a whole week. Sungmin loses himself in Hyukjae, making sure he’s tiring himself out enough to not hear if Siwon is sneaking out again. He doesn’t want to know if Siwon is fucking that Chinese boy again, wishing it was someone else; he doesn’t want to know that the Siwon he thought he knew, the Siwon he had liked, was just a lie.
Part of him is not sure why he cares so much. Another part of him tells him that he’s going to get sucked in; it’s Siwon, his heart mocks him.
(it’s always been Siwon)
They have a photoshoot and Hankyung is wearing the tightest pair of jeans Sungmin has ever laid eyes on, a faded white pair of skinnies that hug the generous curve of his ass and moulds around the firm, tone muscles down those long, long legs. Donghae is glancing guiltily at the Chinese man, struggling to keep his eyes above waist level and failing miserably. Kyuhyun was staring unashamedly, dark eyes raking up and down, drinking in the sight with a grin. Siwon is the one who has to pose with Hankyung though, a hand on his hip and another at his elbow, Hankyung leaning backward so that a peek of skin showed from his waist and one of his legs was edged between Siwon’s.
As soon as the photographer calls cut, Siwon rushes off immediately, mumbling something about bathroom and Sungmin glances at Hyukjae before he follows quickly.
Siwon is in the last stall of the toilet when Sungmin finds him, hands around his erect cock and pumping furiously, forehead scrunched and breathing uneven. It’s just something so un-Siwon like that Sungmin can’t help it when he bursts out, “Why don’t you just tell him you want him so badly?!”
Siwon glances up, but much like before, he can’t seem to control himself and his movements don’t stop, “I-I don’t want to hurt him.”
Sungmin frowns and he wills himself not to stare at how big Siwon is, “Why would you hurt him? I mean-“
Siwon sounds winded, although from his actions or his words, Sungmin is not sure, “It’s not just that I desire him, Sungminnie, I- I have a problem with…sex.” At Sungmin’s puzzled frown he continues, “I-I want-need it. All the time. I…I’m addicted to it, you can say.”
“You’re a…sex addict?” Sungmin doesn’t bother hiding the shock in his voice, because surely he was dreaming. Perfect Siwon who everyone wanted, couldn’t be a…sex addict, it wasn’t right.
Siwon nods curtly, before jerking, hot whte liquid spilling hard and fast over his hand, the taller man slumping with a quiet gasp. “Yes, yes I am.”
It’s funny, Sungmin thinks as he averts his eyes as Siwon cleans himself up, how he can watch the other jerk himself off, but he feels the need to look away now. Sungmin moves towards the door, Siwon’s voice making him pause, “Do you hate me now?”
“No,” the answer comes quiet, but sincere. He can’t see, but he sense that Siwon is smiling.
The darkest part of Sungmin, if he ever dare look deep enough, has always wanted to find some terrible flaw with Siwon, something so unthinkable that it will disgust everyone, with only Sungmin being able to understand, to help him, to fix the broken yet still glorious man.
Because also in that darkest place inside of him, Sungmin has long hidden his desire for the other man.
After the talk with Sungmin, Siwon stops going to the brothel. He would bid Sungmin a good night each night and greet him each morning with a smile and Sungmin feels like he’s changed the world.
Everything goes perfectly for a week and Sungmin breathes easier knowing Siwon isn’t out there doing something that can ruin his career- their whole band- if found out.
But then as the days edge pass, he starts noticing Siwon getting restless and increasingly less patient, growling at Shindong and getting frustrated over the smallest things. And Sungmin doesn’t miss the way his eyes linger hungrily over the other members.
Sungmin sneaks Hyukjae’s porn for Siwon and another week passes by without incident; but then the other man stops locking himself in his room with his laptop and his mood starts to change again. The others are beginning to pick up on his weird mood swings, Hankyung and Leeteuk eyeing him with concern, as if worried for his health.
Just as Sungmin is about to do something, Siwon’s mood suddenly improves again and it takes Sungmin an entire week to figure out why.
Sungmin’s legs are slung over Hyukjae’s shoulders as the younger man thrusts into him, their moans filling the room. Hyukjae comes deep inside him and Sungmin throws his head back. And he sees Siwon staring back at him. They both freezes and Sungmin knows that he should shout and alert his lover, but there’s something so deliciously taboo about this that he bites down on his lips and comes staring at the voyeuristic man.
Even that is not enough soon and Sungmin grows increasingly concerned as he catches Siwon eyeing Henry and rubbing up against Hankyung whilst they’re on stage. Heebum has also suddenly developed a fear of the Christian man.
Sungmin intercepts Siwon as the other is trying to sneak out and Siwon clutches at him with a mixture of desperation need and frenzied insanity. “You can’t go, Siwon. Please, I know you can control it, you’re strong, you-“
Siwon lets out something that’s part shout, part whimper, and before Sungmin can open his mouth, Siwon is shoving him onto the floor, mouth closed over his and grinding down frantically, hips jerking and rubbing against Sungmin’s cock. Sungmin stops struggling, as Siwon slides a large hand inside his pajama pants and quickly jerks his member to full hardness. Siwon undoes his own pants, the belt clinking loudly as its flung to the side, before pulling down Sungmin’s, two fingers entering dry. Siwon’s got a hand over the smaller man’s mouth as he works Sungmin open painfully, eyes wild as he pushes inside, breath hitching at the tightness, Sungmin screaming against Siwon’s hand.
He’s fucked against the floor of the lounge room, his boyfriend barely ten meters away and Siwon isn’t careful or gentle and it fucking hurts, but Sungmin hasn’t felt so exhilarated in a long time.
Siwon can’t meet his eyes the next day, the guilt and regret shining into his cereal. He barely gets anything down and Ryeowook is fluttering around him worriedly, offering to cook him pancakes and Hankyung offers to make him Beijing Fried Rice.
Sungmin’s ass hasn’t hurt like this in a long time; Hyukjae always made sure he was well prepped. He thinks of last night and a tingle rushes down his spine at the myriad of explicit images that flood his mind. Hyukjae asking him if he’s alright, stops Sungmin from fantasizing about the next time.
A quick blowjob before they go on stage. The euphoric sex after a win. Fucking in the bathroom, their cries muffled by the sound of running water. Sungmin staying behind to look after a sick Siwon whilst the other go out, then being bent over the table and screwed like a whore.
They get into a routine of sorts; mind blowing sex whenever Siwon needs it, no talking during or afterwards, a day or two of Siwon feeling guilty and then they’d find another place to fuck like crazy.
Then, something that makes both Sungmin and Siwon fearful- SJM’s formation. Siwon may be over the moon about pairing with Hankyung and getting to spend much more time with him, but the problem that neither of them talked about was what exactly SIwon was going to do without Sungmin in China.
Sungmin let’s Siwon fade from the forefront of his mind and it’s both relaxing and lonely. He doesn’t ask Siwon about what’s going on because frankly, Sungmin doesn’t want to know if he’s out fucking strangers again, or worse, found a replacement for him. The idea of Siwon treating one of the other members the way he did Sungmin, the idea that he alone wasn’t Siwon’s confident anymore, made his stomach go cold.
Nothing stays quiet though, especially not in a band like theirs. He hears of Siwon and Zhoumi ‘exploring their friendship’ and of Siwon romancing Ri In. He especially hears of the infamous foursome between Kyuhyun, Donghae, Hankyung and Siwon.
It’s not enough though, Sungmin can see it everytime they watch SJM on television or on the internet. That hunger is there in Siwon’s eyes and Sungmin know the other man is restraining himself tremendously in order to not screw up Hankyung’s dream and his view of his ‘sworn-brother’.
The sex with Hyukjae increases dramatically and it’s only now that Sungmin realizes just how much he had been screwing around with Siwon. Sungmin is like a horny teenager who wants it all the time and it gets so bad that he lies in bed after a few rounds with his boyfriend, and dreams of flying to China to corner Siwon in a staircase or a dark room.
The day SJM finally come back, Siwon makes an excuse about going to see his parents and Sungmin says something about visiting a friend who just arrived in Seoul and they wound up in a hotel barely two blocks from their dormitory.
The second the door shuts, Sungmin reaches to kiss Siwon, but the other man throws him onto the bed and rips off his clothes with a ferocity Sungmin hasn’t seen before. Sungmin feels his shirt tear and the burn of denim against soft skin, but he doesn’t protest because he knows how much Siwon has been bottling up all year, not having anyone to fuck freely like he does Sungmin and not always being able to sneak out to go to a brothel. The man was insanely sex-deprived and Sungmin can feel the intense need as Siwon flips him onto his front and then he’s screaming into the pillow when three fingers force their way in without lube. Once, twice, three times then the fingers are out and his whole body is shuddering as Siwon pushes inside forcefully. It’s far too soon and Sungmin is still gasping, when Siwon starts moving, the friction agonizing against raw muscles. Each thrust rips him apart and Sungmin is sobbing as the other fucks him hard into the mattress. Sungmin’s own erection is pressed into the hard mattress, not given any attention at all as SIwon pounds into him vigorously.
Even with the spasming pain, the pleasure is still there and soon Sungmin comes all over the sheets just as Siwon empties into him.
Even though he wants to tell Siwon to stop, that’s enough for now, the words don’t make it out of his mouth and Sungmin lies there and waits, eyes squeezed shut, body trembling. Sure enough, minutes later, hands grip his hips and lift him until he’s on all fours, his backside protesting at the movement. Siwon thrusts into him without any preparation this time and Sungmin’s tender entrance explodes with pain, spiking down his spine and up to his brain and through his whole body.
Siwon is huge, large hands and larger cock, much bigger than Hyukjae and even on the days when
Siwon is gentle and slow, the size and length isn’t easy to take. But when he’s being rough, it’s too much for Sungmin to handle and he wonders if he’s just going to tear down the middle. Still, Siwon can make him moan and scream like no other and Sungmin has gone through the pain of dancing with a sore backside and still came back for more.
He’s slumped down on the bed now, too spent to hold himself up, his ass still in the air, being plundered by Siwon’s cock. When Siwon shoots his load into Sungmin this time, some of it flows down the back of his thighs and he collapses as soon as SIwon lets go. He’s drifting off to sleep, to worn out by the whole thing, when Sungmin is turned onto his back and his legs parted. It’s not as rough this time, but it still burns when Siwon enters him again and Sungmin is crying as Siwon snaps his hips franctically, hot breath in his ear as the other pants. His body isn’t sane anymore and even though it hurts, Sungmin comes anyway, all over Siwon’s gorgeous abs and this time he falls into unconsciousness immediately.
Hours later, Sungmin is woken up by Siwon’s raging erection up his ass, because the younger man had not pulled out after their last round. Siwon wakes with a groan and his eyes turn dark with lust as soon as he sees Sungmin and he realizes his cock is still inside the other. Siwon maneuvers Sungmin until he’s on top, straddling Siwon and the older man cries out at the sudden pressure against his prostate. Siwon grabs his slim hips and lifts it up before slamming it down, Sungmin moaning and choking as he’s made to ride Siwon’s cock, his over-fucked passage screaming in protest. The rhythm Siwon sets for him is brutal and he loses consciousness before he can come.
He’s so far gone that he doesn’t even wake up the next time Siwon’s fingers slide inside, not until Siwon’s slamming inside of him, the pain jerking him awake with a scream. Sungmin finds his legs thrown over Siwon’s broad shoulders and large hands gripping his hips tightly, the younger man pounding repeatedly into him, shaking the bed and sending waves of shock and pain throughout Sungmin’s body and brain. This is the first time that Sungmin has not wanted it, not been thrilled; has in fact, wanted Siwon to stop, please, oh god stop, it hurts too much, but he doesn’t say anything; lets the other man sodomize him completely, fuck his brains out without saying a word.
Siwon needs this, his heart tells him. (his brain tells him, he needs this to stop)
It’s the first thought that carries him through the pain and through the rest of the long, hard night. It’s with that thought in mind that he falls asleep, tears drying on his face.
Sungmin wakes up the next morning, feeling like he’s dying. Every single part of his body feels numb, yet everything hurts. His backside feels like it’s been ripped open and sown back together with barbed wire, his entrance a bloody mess. Moving sends avalanches of pain thundering through him, but he does it anyway, shuffling closer to the sleeping man next to him. Gingerly he wraps his arms around Siwon’s waist and buries his face in the other’s chest, trying to breath in Siwon’s distinct smell amid the overpowering smell of sex hanging in the air.
It’s not just about the intense sex anymore, Sungmin realizes weakly, as he lay trembling like a broken toy, his body and the sheets covered in blood and cum.
Somewhere along the line, I want you has become I love you.
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