[SHINee] (old) Love is a Battlefield
love is a battlefield
taemin-centric; ot5; pg' ~645w
taemin likes to pretend they're in paradise.
Taemin likes to pretend that the five of them live in a perfect world with content smiles plastered on each and every one of their faces and laughter booming from their chests. He likes to pretend that they’re able to join hands and dance around in never-ending circles until they get too dizzy that they can’t even stand anymore, so they cling to each other for support and laugh because it’s so much better this way anyways.
Taemin likes to pretend that they’re in paradise.
Too bad they're in a middle of a war.
Taemin watches in silence as Minho steps towards Onew, signaling the start of the battle. Onew winces as Jonghyun quickly retaliates by putting himself in front of Onew, expression hostile. Minho stares and holds his ground. Key looks around anxiously and pulls on Minho’s arm, Stop please. Taemin’s watching. And Minho relaxes but keeps his intense gaze on Onew. Onew avoids him and Jonghyun leads him away from the two.
It’s a war-things like hate and love pop out in these battles, these battles that seem to come a lot more often, leaving a lot more damage. They’re fighting this war, this blind blind war and Taemin can’t even see what side they’re all on anyways. Sometimes it Jonghyun against Key or Key against Onew or Jonghyun against Minho and all this just makes Taemin’s head hurt just thinking about it. So he sets the volume to his iPod at the maximum level and pretends that he can’t hear Jonghyun’s screams and Key’s sobs.
They like to pretend that nothing’s wrong. They smile at the dinner table and Taemin blanches at the fakeness, the forced rigid ends of their smiles threaten to break and sometimes Taemin looks carefully to see if they ever do. They use polite voices and get by without throwing anything at each other even though Taemin knows they really want to. And Taemin laughs to himself because it’s ridiculous-they’re do this for him, they’re trying for him, because they all know he’s not part of this war. But they’re just not trying hard enough.
Taemin doesn’t fall for Key’s constant hugs or Jonghyun ruffling his hair or Onew’s pats on the arm or Minho’s supposedly reassuring smiles. He’s not stupid. And unfortunately no matter how hard they try, Taemin has already become part of this useless struggle.
Taemin can see and he can hear.
He hears the sounds Onew and Minho make at night when they think that he’s asleep. He watches how Key will purposely kiss Minho right on the lips in front of Onew just to make the leader cringe. He knows that Jonghyun will snake his arms around Onew and hold on longer than usual to make sure that Minho sees.
Taemin sees and he hears and he knows. And he’s tired. At night, he curls up into a ball and closes in on himself, a little voice in his heart whispering that they all love each other and that it’s all alright. Everything’s fine.
Too bad that it’s not.
The final blow comes and it’s a nuclear explosion and suddenly everything’s in chaos and Taemin can do nothing but watch as his hyungs’ get ripped out internally, the nonexistent bullets aiming straight for their hearts, the grenades tearing at their souls, and it’s a mess, a mess. They bleed tears instead of blood, liquid flowing down all their faces and spilling to the floor signifying their pain. Taemin kind of wishes that the wounds were external.
After the aftershocks have ended and the dust and smoke fade away, Taemin crawls out of his hiding place and walks out to the battlefield. He bends down and picks up the leftover pieces of his hyungs’ hearts and tries to put them all back together.
He cries when he sees that he can’t.
taemin-centric; ot5; pg' ~645w
taemin likes to pretend they're in paradise.
Taemin likes to pretend that the five of them live in a perfect world with content smiles plastered on each and every one of their faces and laughter booming from their chests. He likes to pretend that they’re able to join hands and dance around in never-ending circles until they get too dizzy that they can’t even stand anymore, so they cling to each other for support and laugh because it’s so much better this way anyways.
Taemin likes to pretend that they’re in paradise.
Too bad they're in a middle of a war.
Taemin watches in silence as Minho steps towards Onew, signaling the start of the battle. Onew winces as Jonghyun quickly retaliates by putting himself in front of Onew, expression hostile. Minho stares and holds his ground. Key looks around anxiously and pulls on Minho’s arm, Stop please. Taemin’s watching. And Minho relaxes but keeps his intense gaze on Onew. Onew avoids him and Jonghyun leads him away from the two.
It’s a war-things like hate and love pop out in these battles, these battles that seem to come a lot more often, leaving a lot more damage. They’re fighting this war, this blind blind war and Taemin can’t even see what side they’re all on anyways. Sometimes it Jonghyun against Key or Key against Onew or Jonghyun against Minho and all this just makes Taemin’s head hurt just thinking about it. So he sets the volume to his iPod at the maximum level and pretends that he can’t hear Jonghyun’s screams and Key’s sobs.
They like to pretend that nothing’s wrong. They smile at the dinner table and Taemin blanches at the fakeness, the forced rigid ends of their smiles threaten to break and sometimes Taemin looks carefully to see if they ever do. They use polite voices and get by without throwing anything at each other even though Taemin knows they really want to. And Taemin laughs to himself because it’s ridiculous-they’re do this for him, they’re trying for him, because they all know he’s not part of this war. But they’re just not trying hard enough.
Taemin doesn’t fall for Key’s constant hugs or Jonghyun ruffling his hair or Onew’s pats on the arm or Minho’s supposedly reassuring smiles. He’s not stupid. And unfortunately no matter how hard they try, Taemin has already become part of this useless struggle.
Taemin can see and he can hear.
He hears the sounds Onew and Minho make at night when they think that he’s asleep. He watches how Key will purposely kiss Minho right on the lips in front of Onew just to make the leader cringe. He knows that Jonghyun will snake his arms around Onew and hold on longer than usual to make sure that Minho sees.
Taemin sees and he hears and he knows. And he’s tired. At night, he curls up into a ball and closes in on himself, a little voice in his heart whispering that they all love each other and that it’s all alright. Everything’s fine.
Too bad that it’s not.
The final blow comes and it’s a nuclear explosion and suddenly everything’s in chaos and Taemin can do nothing but watch as his hyungs’ get ripped out internally, the nonexistent bullets aiming straight for their hearts, the grenades tearing at their souls, and it’s a mess, a mess. They bleed tears instead of blood, liquid flowing down all their faces and spilling to the floor signifying their pain. Taemin kind of wishes that the wounds were external.
After the aftershocks have ended and the dust and smoke fade away, Taemin crawls out of his hiding place and walks out to the battlefield. He bends down and picks up the leftover pieces of his hyungs’ hearts and tries to put them all back together.
He cries when he sees that he can’t.