[SHINee] Pocketful of Sunshine (Part 3)
pocketful of sunshine
onew-centric; r; ~21600w
au; psychology major lee jinki gets the opportunity of a lifetime to work at a prestigious psychiatric clinic. it's there that he meets five curious boys with unusual stories. it's there that he makes a name for himself.
Choi Siwon, Secretary of Chungnam Board of Directors, cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Jinki ssi…do you mind if I ask where that wound on your forehead came from?”
Jinki blinked. “I fell.” Yoona sighed at this, seated on Jinki’s right side, Jessica on his other side. “Have you finished reading my proposal?”
Siwon nodded. “Yes but - “
“Listen kid,” co-Head Kim Heechul interrupted rudely. “I don’t know if you’ve quite noticed but your boys are kind of fucking insane. No one wants them, not even their own flesh and blood.”
Jinki’s mouth hardened into a straight line. “I want them,” he said rather decisively. Siwon sighed and rubbed his temples with his fingers.
“Jinki ssi, you have to understand, not only are these patients minors, they are also highly unstable. Like Heechul ssi said, there are no family members to vouch for them and quite frankly it’s much safer for them to be in Chungnam.”
Heechul snorted. “Way to sugar-coat it Siwon.” Siwon only glared at Heechul.
“Please be professional, Heechul ssi.” Siwon turned his attention back to Jinki. “You do understand don’t you?”
To everyone’s surprise, Jinki stood up from his seat, fists clenched tightly. There was no trace of his previous panic on his face and he stared at the members of the board with determined eyes.
“They are not highly unstable,” Jinki ground out through gritted teeth. “They’re human beings just like you and me and all they want is to be free. You understand don’t you?”
Heechul angrily opened his mouth to retaliate but stopped when Jungsu placed a calming hand on his arm. “Don’t,” he murmured. Heechul glared fiercely at Jungsu.
“You’re the one that let him in here in the first place! You have no right to say anything.” Jungsu raised an eyebrow at Heechul, amused.
“I’m the Head. I have the right to say whatever I please.” He turned to Jinki. “Lee Jinki,” he said in a rather authoritative tone. Jinki slightly withered under Jungsu’s gaze but he kept his ground. “We will take another few weeks to discuss and consider the components of your proposal. It has not been rejected, but do not consider it accepted either.”
Jinki’s shoulders slumped and Yoona grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “It’s already great that you’ve been able to get it considered so don’t -“
“However,” Jungsu continued. Jinki and Yoona looked up at the Head in surprise. Jessica watched on in interest. “Due to the rather impressive foundation behind one of your requests, I have decided to approve it.”
Siwon gaped at Jungsu while Heechul began to fume quietly. “Jungsu ssi -“ he started but Jungsu didn’t stop talking.
“Therefore, the request to halt all forced medication from being given to patient number sixty-seven, Kim Kibum has been approved.”
The entire board room was silent for a moment. Then, everyone watched in shock as Jinki got down on his knees, just like the first day he had met Jungsu. He bowed humbly, eyes watering in gratitude.
“Thank you.”
Jungsu grinned.
“Guess whose back?” Jinki sang as he walked into Kibum’s room, a plate of kimbap in his hands. Kibum only scowled at him.
“You said you’d be back in a week,” he complained. “But it’s been two! It’s practically the end of the month now.”
Jinki’s good mood did not dampen from Kibum’s sulkiness. “I’ve brought something for you!” he exclaimed and placed the plate on Kibum’s lap. Kibum scowled at the delicious looking kimbap.
“Did you make it? It’s probably poisoned,” Kibum sniffed in disdain. Jinki only laughed.
“Just eat it. There’s something special on the bottom.” And just like Jinki knew he would, Kibum immediately pushed the kimbap aside and grabbed the piece of paper that was under all the rolls. Kibum stared at the words on the paper.
“You’re kidding me,” he whispered in shock. Jinki shook his head.
“Nope. And as long as you sign it and promise to go to group therapy once a week, they’ll stop giving you medication. Forever.”
Kibum instantly stood up, the plate of kimbap and the piece of paper tumbling to the floor. Jinki yelped and bent down to pick up the mess, but Kibum was by his side and rubbing his injured forehead, tears running down his face.
“Sorry,” he choked out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry -“
Jinki just closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around Kibum’s trembling wrist. “What are you apologizing for?” Kibum sobbed harder.
May;
Jonghyun leaped towards Jinki, anger flashing in his eyes. “One month,” he spat in Jinki’s face. “One month and not a fucking word from you. And now you come back to us?” Jonghyun pushed Jinki harshly. “Don’t make me laugh sunbae.”
“Jonghyun.” Minho’s voice was clipped and he walked over to pull a furious Jonghyun away from a surprisingly calm Jinki. Minho looked at the older boy with a slightly hurt expression. “Hyung,” he murmured softly. “Why did you leave us?”
Jinki only smiled. “I didn’t leave you guys.”
Jonghyun immediately scoffed. “Sure. And I guess randomly leaving us doesn’t mean anything to you at all -“
“Jonghyun.” They turned around to see Kibum standing behind them, Taemin clinging to his side. “Just stop it.”
Jonghyun raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Come on Kibum,” he pleaded, trying to appease his friend. “This guy -“
“Cares about us.” Kibum’s eyes narrowed. “And you know it.” Kibum and Jonghyun just stared each other down for a few moments before Jonghyun finally looked away.
“Whatever.” His gazed went back to Jinki. “I still don’t see why you’re here though. Your internship ended two months ago.” Jinki just shrugged.
“I felt like it. Besides, I’ve got a surprise for you guys.”
Taemin jumped at Jinki at once, eyes wide with excitement. “Really?” he asked eagerly as he began to bounce around. “What is it hyung? Did you bring us food? More movies? What what?”
Jinki’s grin broadened. “We’re going out today,” he announced.
Taemin squealed in excitement, Kibum and Jonghyun’s mouths dropped open simultaneously in disbelief, and Minho just smiled.
“I want to go shopping,” Kibum shrieked instantly when he had recovered from his shock. Jonghyun snapped out his reverie and glared at Kibum.
“Like hell we’re going shopping! Who do you think we are, girls?”
Taemin ignored their bickering and clung to Jinki excitedly. “I want to go to the fair! Or or! The carnival! Or Disneyland, how cool would that be - “
“I want to play soccer.” Everyone stopped talking and looked at Minho curiously. Minho’s eyes were shining in a way they never saw before and Jinki’s face almost broke as his smile widened at the sight. “Can we hyung?”
“Yeah,” Jinki said and there was an air of finality to his words. Kibum instantly shut his mouth and Taemin pouted but didn’t say anything. “Yeah we can.”
Jonghyun gasped for air as he collapsed to the grassy floor. Jinki fell next to him, his breathing hard. “That’s - not - fair,” Jonghyun wheezed out turning to glare at a smug looking Minho. “You never told us that you were a soccer playing genius!”
Minho shrugged. “I was mute, remember?” Taemin and Kibum laughed behind him and Jonghyun only glared. He poked a semi-conscious Jinki viciously.
“Come on sunbae, we’re the oldest here! Let’s go beat them!” Jinki shook his head furiously and buried his face into the grass. He waved his arms about uselessly.
“Break,” he muttered in a muffled voice. Somehow, Jonghyun managed to hear it and he sighed.
“Break!” he repeated loudly to the other three. Minho nodded, deciding to take pity on the poor non-athletic men.
“I’ll go bring the water,” he told them walking back to where they had put their stuff. Taemin and Kibum followed him, gushing about how good his soccer skills were.
Jonghyun watched their retreating backs before collapsing on the floor next to Jinki. They laid there in silence for a while. Then Jonghyun poked Jinki’s side again. “Yah.” He got a tired mumble in response. Jonghyun rolled his eyes. “Yah,” he poked Jinki harder. “I’ve got a question, sunbae.”
Jinki groggily lifted his head from the grass, cheeks smudged a bit by the dirt. “…What?” he groaned.
Jonghyun’s expression was serious. “How did you manage to get us out here? We haven’t been outside in -“
“Years,” Jinki finished. “I know.” Jonghyun’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“How did you-“ he stopped suddenly, eyes widening in realization. “You, you’ve read our files haven’t you?”
Jinki’s expression gave everything away. Jonghyun tackled him to the floor and pinned his arms above his head. “Tell me you didn’t read my file,” he growled dangerously. Jinki blinked, eyes confused.
“I didn’t,” he confessed honestly. Jonghyun’s grip on his arms tightened. Jinki winced. “I swear I didn’t! I don’t know anything about your problems.”
Jonghyun just stared at him, loosening his grip on him ever so slightly. “You promise?” he said childishly, eyes searching Jinki’s frantically for any sign of deceit. Jinki stared right back at him.
“Promise.”
Jonghyun sighed as he got off of Jinki. “Sorry for overreacting.” He offered a hand to Jinki who accepted it gratefully. Jonghyun sighed as he pulled Jinki up. “I mean, my past isn’t exactly something I’d like everyone to know. You know?”
Jinki bit his lip at Jonghyun’s words. “Maybe getting other people to know is a step towards recovery,” he murmured silently. Jonghyun’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
“Are you suggesting something?”
Jinki shrugged. “Only if you want me to.” He looked up to see the others approaching them, water bottles in their hands. “Come on, let’s go take a break.”
But Jonghyun shook his head and began to walk in the other direction, hands shoved in his pockets. Jinki watched his retreating back worriedly before following him. Why is he headed towards the street… Jinki’s eyes widened. Jonghyun wouldn’t.
Would he?
Jinki started to run. “Jonghyun!” he yelled in panic. Jonghyun stopped and turned around, cars shooting by quickly behind him. He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh.” Jonghyun started to laugh. Jinki stopped in front of him, heart pounding wildly. “Oh, you’re really stupid. Did you think that I was going to -“ Jonghyun snorted in laughter, cutting his words off. “You’re really stupid sunbae.”
Relief surged through Jinki’s veins. He watched Jonghyun shake with laughter for a little longer before joining the younger boy, their laughter drowned out by the sounds of busy traffic. They stayed there for a moment before a terrified, “Jinki hyung, Jonghyun hyung look out!”
Jinki abruptly stopped laughing and his entire world stood still as a black Chevrolet started to spin out of control, heading right towards them.
His eyes immediately swerved to Jonghyun who was yelling at Taemin, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Jinki’s gaze went back to the car.
Jonghyun.
That was the last thing that went through his mind as his arms reached forward and forcibly pushed Jonghyun aside. He heard the other boy’s shout of outrage turn into a terrified scream before the car slammed into Jinki, throwing him across the floor.
“Sunbae!”
June;
“How’s his condition now?”
Where...
“Please, Mrs. Lee. It’s been three weeks and we can’t - “
A distraught cry. “Stop it! I want to know how my son is!”
…Umma?
A sigh. “His flesh wounds have recovered nicely but his head injury is quite severe. He still hasn’t woken up yet and as I said before it has been three weeks. Perhaps it would be better to - “
“I would never.”
Another sigh. “Please leave now Mrs. Lee. I have to discuss this matter with the other doctors.”
Warm fingers ran through Jinki’s hair. “Please Jinki. My only baby, please wake up.”
Wake up? Umma. Umma!
The doctor cleared his throat. “Mrs. Lee!” Jinki felt those familiar fingers leave him much to his disappointment. He tried to open his eyes so he could look at his mother but found that he can’t. He strained his eye muscles. They refused to open. All he saw was darkness.
Umma, wait! What’s going on?
“I’ll be back tomorrow honey.”
Umma!
Jinki heard the door shut and felt a cold gloved hand touch his forehead. “Hm…his cheeks are a bit flushed…maybe that’s a good thing,” the doctor mused aloud. There was the sound of a pen scribbling on paper.
“Stay strong Jinki ssi.” Again, Jinki attempted to open his eyes to see, open his mouth to talk, but his body failed to cooperate with him. It was as if his entire body had been turned into lead - it refused to do anything his mind commanded.
Well, Jinki thought sulkily. This definitely sucks.
Then, there was a sharp pain in his right arm.
Jinki’s senses went dull and he lost himself into the darkness.
The next thing he heard was the sound of a girl crying. Yoona, he recognized. A soft hand wrapped itself around his limp wrist.
“Oppa,” she whispered. A few teardrops landed on Jinki’s cheek and he wanted to get up and wipe the tears from Yoona’s face, tell her that he was alright. However, the stiffness of his body provided too much for him to handle and his weak muscles stopped trying to move his hand. Jinki inwardly sighed.
He knew what had happened - he got hit by a stupid car. And now he was in the stupid hospital. And his stupid body wouldn’t move like he wanted it do. Just..stupid.
At least he could hear. That was a little comfort, a little hope, in this extremely bleak situation. Though he wasn’t sure he liked what the doctors kept saying, talking about shots that brought eternal sleep and other medical terms that Jinki should know, but didn’t. He cursed his negligence in his medical course and wished that Jessica was here to explain it all to him.
But she wasn’t.
Jessica never came. However, it wasn’t as if he could get up and tell her what the doctors said anyway.
On the other hand, his mother was his most frequent visitor, always there to rub his head and hold his hand. To Jinki’s surprise, his father came every now and then as well, despite the man’s busy schedules. Jinki always knew it was him because even though his father never spoke directly to him, he brought with him the familiar scent of cigarettes and cinnamon, a scent Jinki found oddly comforting.
Yoona and Henry came often as well. The two of them would often tell Jinki stories about their day, exciting things that happened at Yonsei and Yoona’s own university. Yoona would cry a lot which made Jinki feel really guilty. Henry never cried, but there were periods of silence in his visits where he would do nothing but rest his head next to Jinki’s, their breathing matching evenly.
Somehow, this made Jinki feel even guiltier than Yoona’s tears.
Other friends from Yonsei came to visit too. Henry told him that there was a whole pile of “get well” presents on the chair next to him which both embarrassed and flattered Jinki. And while all this attention cheered Jinki up considerably, the four people he wanted to see most, even more than Jessica, never ever came.
And that fact hurt Jinki a lot more than it should.
July;
There was shouting. Jinki slowly slid into consciousness to hear Yoona’s angry voice mixing with Henry’s calm one. And then another voice - no two. Or was it three? Jinki couldn’t really tell. But Yoona’s voice got a lot louder which made his head ache.
“How dare you come and see him now! How long did it take you? A fucking month. A month. And you were the ones who saw it happen to him! You assholes! He loves you so much and you just - just - “
Yoona’s voice began to shake and pretty soon she was sobbing again. Jinki heard Henry murmur soothing words. Jinki began to tingle in anticipation. It had to be them; there was no other explanation why Yoona would get so worked up otherwise. Jinki didn’t know how long it had been, but it didn’t matter. They were here now.
“Please,” Jinki recognized Taemin’s voice immediately. He sounded sad, so sad it hurt Jinki’s heart. “Please let us talk to him.”
“We shouldn’t have to ask.” Kibum sounded grumpy and annoyed but Jinki detected traces of worry behind it.
“Whatever.” Yoona was spiteful and angry. Jinki really wanted to tell her to calm down. He understood her feelings - he was kind of annoyed that it had taken them this long to visit too.
But they had to have had a reason. Right?
“Besides,” Yoona continued. “Not all of you are even here. What the hell is up with that?”
Jinki’s heart sunk at her words. Who…?
“Jonghyun hyung wasn’t feeling too well.” Minho’s deep resonating voice was comforting to hear, though his words, not so much. “He couldn’t make it today.”
The way Minho said it, the careful tone of his voice showed Jinki that he was repressing some emotion, though he wasn’t sure what. There was awkwardness in the room that even Jinki could feel.
“Let them see him.” Henry’s voice was quiet but firm. Jinki imagined Yoona opening her mouth to protest only to be silenced by a look from Henry.
Henry ah is so cool.
There was an instant rush of footsteps and skinny arms wrapped themselves around Jinki’s neck. Taemin buried his face into Jinki’s neck and began to cry. “He’s so cold,” Taemin whimpered. Minho’s long fingers intertwined with Jinki’s and Kibum’s soft hand covered Jinki’s other hand.
“We’re sorry,” Minho said grimly. “We wanted to see you. Really we did.”
“But Jonghyun,” Kibum hesitated here. “He thinks it’s his fault. He blames himself for everything. He didn’t want to come today because he didn’t think he deserved to see you.”
Taemin sniffed against Jinki’s skin. “We tried telling him otherwise but he wouldn’t listen. Jonghyun hyung is really stubborn. But Saebyuk says that Jinki hyung would never blame Jonghyun hyung for what happened. And Saebyuk’s right.”
Minho squeezed his hand. “We’re sorry hyung,” he repeated softly. Jinki so desperately longed to squeeze his hand back, show them that he was here and listening, that he forgave them for everything, that he missed them so much.
“I miss you.” Kibum’s voice was strangely steady despite the sadness of his voice. “A lot.”
“Me too,” Taemin whispered brokenly. “Jinki hyung…” Minho didn’t say anything but his grip on Jinki’s hand grew tighter.
Jinki wanted to cry.
I miss you too.
Jonghyun ignored Minho when he walked into his room. He merely pressed his face harder into his pillow, hoping the other boy would just leave him alone. His hopes were crushed though when Minho placed a firm hand on Jonghyun’s back. Jonghyun sighed into the pillow.
“What?” he mumbled tiredly.
“You made Jinki hyung upset today.”
Jonghyun raised his face and stared at Minho oddly. “What the fuck Minho, he’s still in his damn coma. How could I have made him upset?”
Minho frowned at Jonghyun’s tone. “He can hear us,” Minho insisted. Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“I’m sure,” he said sarcastically. Minho’s frown grew.
“Hyung,” he started warningly. Jonghyun raised an eyebrow at Minho and just scoffed, moving to put his face back into the pillow. Minho grabbed Jonghyun’s shoulder and pulled sharply so that the older boy was facing him. Jonghyun’s eyes were furious.
“Let. Go,” he hissed through gritted teeth. Minho shook his head and dug his nails painfully into Jonghyun’s shoulder.
“Tell me you don’t care about him,” Minho said softly though every word was dripping with anger. “Tell me and I’ll let this go forever. Lose my respect for you, but I’ll let it go.”
The anger in Jonghyun’s eyes faded and he just looked at Minho. “What kind of question is that?” he muttered tiredly. Minho shrugged, grip on Jonghyun still tight.
“A valid one.”
Jonghyun chuckled weakly. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I liked you better when you were mute.”
Minho didn’t say anything and tapped his fingers impatiently; he was still waiting from Jonghyun’s answer. Jonghyun sighed. “Jesus Minho, I - “
The door flew open and a wild-eyed Kibum stumbled inside. The other two blinked at him in confusion. Kibum shook his head and began to speak in hurried breaths, “Yoona ssi - Jinki - he opened his eyes.”
“It was only for a moment,” Henry explained to the four of them. “He looked at me as if he wanted to say something but then his eyes closed again and his heart rate lowered. I was taken out of the room so I don’t know if anything else happened. But,” Henry closed his eyes here to compose himself. “It looked as if…as if he was in a lot of pain.”
Kibum bit his lip. “Can we see him?” he asked anxiously. Their visits to Jinki were limited and despite Jungsu’s lenience, the rest of the board was still strict about their rules. Henry shrugged.
“Not sure. Ask the nurse.”
Minho looked at Jonghyun meaningfully. “We’ve already seen him. Jonghyun hyung should be the one to visit.” Jonghyun choked in protest but Kibum and Taemin looked at him expectantly.
Henry raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” he asked casually. Jonghyun gulped. He knew Henry knew all about him, all about them. He was Jinki’s best friend after all.
“I-yeah I guess,” Jonghyun mumbled reluctantly. Taemin smiled at him, Minho clapped his back, and Kibum just rolled his eyes muttering “about time,” under his breath. Henry took Jonghyun’s hand and gently led him to Jinki’s room.
“Excuse me,” he asked the nurse politely. “Do you think it’s okay for Jinki to have visitors now?” The nurse immediately frowned at their request
“Well he is stable, but I don’t - “
“Please,” Jonghyun cut in surprising both Henry and the nurse. “I need to go and…apologize.” Henry’s eyes softened at Jonghyun. Jonghyun hung his head, ashamed at his outburst. The nurse scrutinized Jonghyun for a moment before sighing.
“Five minutes.” She opened the door and Jonghyun bowed gratefully. He walked inside, heart hammering in his chest, palms sweaty, but completely froze when he saw Jinki’s still form.
“Sunbae,” he whispered hoarsely. Jonghyun stumbled to Jinki’s bed with weak legs and got on his knees next to the bed. “Fuck.” His face searched Jinki’s pale face, noted the tubes sticking in his body, and that’s when he fell apart.
“Fuck I’m sorry.” The tears he had been holding back the past two months came rushing in a flood. “I’m so sorry. I never,” Jonghyun took a shaky breath. “I always tried to push you away, tried to make sure you never got past my walls. But, I was wrong.” Jonghyun’s voice became more hysterical.
“We need you sun-hyung. All of us. Me, Kibum, Minho, and Tae. You’re our miracle, our everything. You made Minho fucking talk. You chased Taemin’s nightmare away. Kibum told me what you did for him, what you’re trying to do for us. And I,” Jonghyun clenched his hands into fists. “I never thanked you. Ever. And I was scared. Scared you were going to get into my head, something I didn’t’ want anyone to do, ever.”
Jonghyun laughed shakily. “Do you want to know what happened to me? My sister. My sister was the most amazing girl in the world. We had a band. Yeah I can sing. She could sing too. We had plans, we were going to reach the top and she.” Jonghyun stopped here and leaned over to gently stroke Jinki’s face.
“She threw herself in front of a car. A car that was going to kill me.” Jonghyun’s confession lifted off his shoulders like a heavy burden. More tears spilled down his face. “She died. And I, I couldn’t take it. Couldn’t take the fact that she had died instead of me. I jumped off a bridge.”
Jonghyun shook his head. “You don’t understand what it was like for me, having the same thing happen right in front of my eyes. You looked just like her, bloody and beat up. You guys even said the same thing before you went unconscious. My name. You said my fucking name.”
Jonghyun hastily wiped his face with his sleeve. “Please wake up sunbae. Wake up so that we can sing together. Okay?”
Jinki didn’t respond. Jonghyun sniffed loudly and threw himself over Jinki’s body, laying there until the nurses came to pull him off.
July;
Why, Jinki asked himself miserably. Why won’t I wake up? He’s pretty sure the whole world had come to visit him over the course of his months in the hospital. His mother refused to put him to sleep, something he was eternally grateful for. The doctors had already given up on him, he could tell. Jinki couldn’t really blame them though. It was his fault. Obviously his will wasn’t strong enough.
Am I just going to be like this forever?
Now that was a depressing thought. His body would just slowly decay until there was nothing left of him. Jinki mentally shivered as images of his skeleton began to pop into his brain. That would be really gross.
Jinki’s self-pitying thoughts were rudely interrupted when he heard the door bang open. Taemin’s excited voice rang in his ears loudly.
“Hyung hyung! I have the best news ever-“
“Shut up,” Jonghyun sounded more happy that annoyed. “I want to be the one that tells him!”
“Oh,” Kibum’s voice was on motherly mode. “Come on you guys, you’re going to give the poor guy a headache -“
“I doubt a headache is the greatest of Jinki hyung’s troubles,” Minho commented amusedly. Kibum snorted and laughter sounded through the room. Jinki was happy that they were happy but. He couldn’t help but feel wistful - he wanted to join them so badly.
“Anyway. Good news,” Minho started talking and Taemin and Jonghyun started protesting wildly. “Jessica ssi has been busy with your proposal and,” Jinki didn’t think he had heard Minho sound so happy before. “It got passed.”
Jinki’s mind went blank.
It got passed…
“Yeah,” Kibum was patting Jinki’s arm gently. “We’re free.”
“Free,” Taemin and Jonghyun echoed.
“Free,” Minho laughed lightly.
Free, Jinki thought in wonder. Kibum’s hand snaked down to grab Jinki’s.
“And it’s all thanks to you.”
They’re free. Free. Free! Jinki mentally screamed. The gears in his mind whirled wildly and Jinki felt something hot surge through his veins. It was burning, so hot, so hot -
Kibum’s eyes widened when he felt Jinki’s fingers twitch in his hold. “Guys,” he said voice shaking. “Guys!” he shrieked wildly. The other three were by Jinki’s side instantly.
“What?” Jonghyun demanded. “What’s wrong?” Kibum shook his head, silent for once and just pointed at Jinki. They turned and watched in awe and Jinki’s features began to twist, mouth slowly opening into an “O” shape.
Jinki’s eyelids were heavy and it was difficult to move anything and he just hurt all over. But. He gasped as his eyes finally creaked open to see four beautiful faces, four sets of teary eyes.
He blinked several times, eyes still getting adjusted to the blinding light. Kibum squeezed his hand. Jinki turned to face him and slowly squeezed back. Kibum burst into tears. Jonghyun laughed in disbelief. Taemin started to babble and wave his arms about in a frenzy. Minho just smiled.
“Free,” Jinki whispered, voice ridiculously hoarse, throat extremely sore. Taemin stopped babbling and nodded his head furiously. Kibum’s grip was so tight, Jinki thought his hand might fall off. Jonghyun had moved to Jinki’s other side and grabbed his free hand. The boys surrounded him, the warmth from their hearts spreading and filling Jinki up, making his heart light.
It fucking hurt to smile. But Jinki did anyway.
Fin.
onew-centric; r; ~21600w
au; psychology major lee jinki gets the opportunity of a lifetime to work at a prestigious psychiatric clinic. it's there that he meets five curious boys with unusual stories. it's there that he makes a name for himself.
Choi Siwon, Secretary of Chungnam Board of Directors, cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Jinki ssi…do you mind if I ask where that wound on your forehead came from?”
Jinki blinked. “I fell.” Yoona sighed at this, seated on Jinki’s right side, Jessica on his other side. “Have you finished reading my proposal?”
Siwon nodded. “Yes but - “
“Listen kid,” co-Head Kim Heechul interrupted rudely. “I don’t know if you’ve quite noticed but your boys are kind of fucking insane. No one wants them, not even their own flesh and blood.”
Jinki’s mouth hardened into a straight line. “I want them,” he said rather decisively. Siwon sighed and rubbed his temples with his fingers.
“Jinki ssi, you have to understand, not only are these patients minors, they are also highly unstable. Like Heechul ssi said, there are no family members to vouch for them and quite frankly it’s much safer for them to be in Chungnam.”
Heechul snorted. “Way to sugar-coat it Siwon.” Siwon only glared at Heechul.
“Please be professional, Heechul ssi.” Siwon turned his attention back to Jinki. “You do understand don’t you?”
To everyone’s surprise, Jinki stood up from his seat, fists clenched tightly. There was no trace of his previous panic on his face and he stared at the members of the board with determined eyes.
“They are not highly unstable,” Jinki ground out through gritted teeth. “They’re human beings just like you and me and all they want is to be free. You understand don’t you?”
Heechul angrily opened his mouth to retaliate but stopped when Jungsu placed a calming hand on his arm. “Don’t,” he murmured. Heechul glared fiercely at Jungsu.
“You’re the one that let him in here in the first place! You have no right to say anything.” Jungsu raised an eyebrow at Heechul, amused.
“I’m the Head. I have the right to say whatever I please.” He turned to Jinki. “Lee Jinki,” he said in a rather authoritative tone. Jinki slightly withered under Jungsu’s gaze but he kept his ground. “We will take another few weeks to discuss and consider the components of your proposal. It has not been rejected, but do not consider it accepted either.”
Jinki’s shoulders slumped and Yoona grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “It’s already great that you’ve been able to get it considered so don’t -“
“However,” Jungsu continued. Jinki and Yoona looked up at the Head in surprise. Jessica watched on in interest. “Due to the rather impressive foundation behind one of your requests, I have decided to approve it.”
Siwon gaped at Jungsu while Heechul began to fume quietly. “Jungsu ssi -“ he started but Jungsu didn’t stop talking.
“Therefore, the request to halt all forced medication from being given to patient number sixty-seven, Kim Kibum has been approved.”
The entire board room was silent for a moment. Then, everyone watched in shock as Jinki got down on his knees, just like the first day he had met Jungsu. He bowed humbly, eyes watering in gratitude.
“Thank you.”
Jungsu grinned.
“Guess whose back?” Jinki sang as he walked into Kibum’s room, a plate of kimbap in his hands. Kibum only scowled at him.
“You said you’d be back in a week,” he complained. “But it’s been two! It’s practically the end of the month now.”
Jinki’s good mood did not dampen from Kibum’s sulkiness. “I’ve brought something for you!” he exclaimed and placed the plate on Kibum’s lap. Kibum scowled at the delicious looking kimbap.
“Did you make it? It’s probably poisoned,” Kibum sniffed in disdain. Jinki only laughed.
“Just eat it. There’s something special on the bottom.” And just like Jinki knew he would, Kibum immediately pushed the kimbap aside and grabbed the piece of paper that was under all the rolls. Kibum stared at the words on the paper.
“You’re kidding me,” he whispered in shock. Jinki shook his head.
“Nope. And as long as you sign it and promise to go to group therapy once a week, they’ll stop giving you medication. Forever.”
Kibum instantly stood up, the plate of kimbap and the piece of paper tumbling to the floor. Jinki yelped and bent down to pick up the mess, but Kibum was by his side and rubbing his injured forehead, tears running down his face.
“Sorry,” he choked out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry -“
Jinki just closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around Kibum’s trembling wrist. “What are you apologizing for?” Kibum sobbed harder.
May;
Jonghyun leaped towards Jinki, anger flashing in his eyes. “One month,” he spat in Jinki’s face. “One month and not a fucking word from you. And now you come back to us?” Jonghyun pushed Jinki harshly. “Don’t make me laugh sunbae.”
“Jonghyun.” Minho’s voice was clipped and he walked over to pull a furious Jonghyun away from a surprisingly calm Jinki. Minho looked at the older boy with a slightly hurt expression. “Hyung,” he murmured softly. “Why did you leave us?”
Jinki only smiled. “I didn’t leave you guys.”
Jonghyun immediately scoffed. “Sure. And I guess randomly leaving us doesn’t mean anything to you at all -“
“Jonghyun.” They turned around to see Kibum standing behind them, Taemin clinging to his side. “Just stop it.”
Jonghyun raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Come on Kibum,” he pleaded, trying to appease his friend. “This guy -“
“Cares about us.” Kibum’s eyes narrowed. “And you know it.” Kibum and Jonghyun just stared each other down for a few moments before Jonghyun finally looked away.
“Whatever.” His gazed went back to Jinki. “I still don’t see why you’re here though. Your internship ended two months ago.” Jinki just shrugged.
“I felt like it. Besides, I’ve got a surprise for you guys.”
Taemin jumped at Jinki at once, eyes wide with excitement. “Really?” he asked eagerly as he began to bounce around. “What is it hyung? Did you bring us food? More movies? What what?”
Jinki’s grin broadened. “We’re going out today,” he announced.
Taemin squealed in excitement, Kibum and Jonghyun’s mouths dropped open simultaneously in disbelief, and Minho just smiled.
“I want to go shopping,” Kibum shrieked instantly when he had recovered from his shock. Jonghyun snapped out his reverie and glared at Kibum.
“Like hell we’re going shopping! Who do you think we are, girls?”
Taemin ignored their bickering and clung to Jinki excitedly. “I want to go to the fair! Or or! The carnival! Or Disneyland, how cool would that be - “
“I want to play soccer.” Everyone stopped talking and looked at Minho curiously. Minho’s eyes were shining in a way they never saw before and Jinki’s face almost broke as his smile widened at the sight. “Can we hyung?”
“Yeah,” Jinki said and there was an air of finality to his words. Kibum instantly shut his mouth and Taemin pouted but didn’t say anything. “Yeah we can.”
Jonghyun gasped for air as he collapsed to the grassy floor. Jinki fell next to him, his breathing hard. “That’s - not - fair,” Jonghyun wheezed out turning to glare at a smug looking Minho. “You never told us that you were a soccer playing genius!”
Minho shrugged. “I was mute, remember?” Taemin and Kibum laughed behind him and Jonghyun only glared. He poked a semi-conscious Jinki viciously.
“Come on sunbae, we’re the oldest here! Let’s go beat them!” Jinki shook his head furiously and buried his face into the grass. He waved his arms about uselessly.
“Break,” he muttered in a muffled voice. Somehow, Jonghyun managed to hear it and he sighed.
“Break!” he repeated loudly to the other three. Minho nodded, deciding to take pity on the poor non-athletic men.
“I’ll go bring the water,” he told them walking back to where they had put their stuff. Taemin and Kibum followed him, gushing about how good his soccer skills were.
Jonghyun watched their retreating backs before collapsing on the floor next to Jinki. They laid there in silence for a while. Then Jonghyun poked Jinki’s side again. “Yah.” He got a tired mumble in response. Jonghyun rolled his eyes. “Yah,” he poked Jinki harder. “I’ve got a question, sunbae.”
Jinki groggily lifted his head from the grass, cheeks smudged a bit by the dirt. “…What?” he groaned.
Jonghyun’s expression was serious. “How did you manage to get us out here? We haven’t been outside in -“
“Years,” Jinki finished. “I know.” Jonghyun’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“How did you-“ he stopped suddenly, eyes widening in realization. “You, you’ve read our files haven’t you?”
Jinki’s expression gave everything away. Jonghyun tackled him to the floor and pinned his arms above his head. “Tell me you didn’t read my file,” he growled dangerously. Jinki blinked, eyes confused.
“I didn’t,” he confessed honestly. Jonghyun’s grip on his arms tightened. Jinki winced. “I swear I didn’t! I don’t know anything about your problems.”
Jonghyun just stared at him, loosening his grip on him ever so slightly. “You promise?” he said childishly, eyes searching Jinki’s frantically for any sign of deceit. Jinki stared right back at him.
“Promise.”
Jonghyun sighed as he got off of Jinki. “Sorry for overreacting.” He offered a hand to Jinki who accepted it gratefully. Jonghyun sighed as he pulled Jinki up. “I mean, my past isn’t exactly something I’d like everyone to know. You know?”
Jinki bit his lip at Jonghyun’s words. “Maybe getting other people to know is a step towards recovery,” he murmured silently. Jonghyun’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
“Are you suggesting something?”
Jinki shrugged. “Only if you want me to.” He looked up to see the others approaching them, water bottles in their hands. “Come on, let’s go take a break.”
But Jonghyun shook his head and began to walk in the other direction, hands shoved in his pockets. Jinki watched his retreating back worriedly before following him. Why is he headed towards the street… Jinki’s eyes widened. Jonghyun wouldn’t.
Would he?
Jinki started to run. “Jonghyun!” he yelled in panic. Jonghyun stopped and turned around, cars shooting by quickly behind him. He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh.” Jonghyun started to laugh. Jinki stopped in front of him, heart pounding wildly. “Oh, you’re really stupid. Did you think that I was going to -“ Jonghyun snorted in laughter, cutting his words off. “You’re really stupid sunbae.”
Relief surged through Jinki’s veins. He watched Jonghyun shake with laughter for a little longer before joining the younger boy, their laughter drowned out by the sounds of busy traffic. They stayed there for a moment before a terrified, “Jinki hyung, Jonghyun hyung look out!”
Jinki abruptly stopped laughing and his entire world stood still as a black Chevrolet started to spin out of control, heading right towards them.
His eyes immediately swerved to Jonghyun who was yelling at Taemin, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Jinki’s gaze went back to the car.
Jonghyun.
That was the last thing that went through his mind as his arms reached forward and forcibly pushed Jonghyun aside. He heard the other boy’s shout of outrage turn into a terrified scream before the car slammed into Jinki, throwing him across the floor.
“Sunbae!”
June;
“How’s his condition now?”
Where...
“Please, Mrs. Lee. It’s been three weeks and we can’t - “
A distraught cry. “Stop it! I want to know how my son is!”
…Umma?
A sigh. “His flesh wounds have recovered nicely but his head injury is quite severe. He still hasn’t woken up yet and as I said before it has been three weeks. Perhaps it would be better to - “
“I would never.”
Another sigh. “Please leave now Mrs. Lee. I have to discuss this matter with the other doctors.”
Warm fingers ran through Jinki’s hair. “Please Jinki. My only baby, please wake up.”
Wake up? Umma. Umma!
The doctor cleared his throat. “Mrs. Lee!” Jinki felt those familiar fingers leave him much to his disappointment. He tried to open his eyes so he could look at his mother but found that he can’t. He strained his eye muscles. They refused to open. All he saw was darkness.
Umma, wait! What’s going on?
“I’ll be back tomorrow honey.”
Umma!
Jinki heard the door shut and felt a cold gloved hand touch his forehead. “Hm…his cheeks are a bit flushed…maybe that’s a good thing,” the doctor mused aloud. There was the sound of a pen scribbling on paper.
“Stay strong Jinki ssi.” Again, Jinki attempted to open his eyes to see, open his mouth to talk, but his body failed to cooperate with him. It was as if his entire body had been turned into lead - it refused to do anything his mind commanded.
Well, Jinki thought sulkily. This definitely sucks.
Then, there was a sharp pain in his right arm.
Jinki’s senses went dull and he lost himself into the darkness.
The next thing he heard was the sound of a girl crying. Yoona, he recognized. A soft hand wrapped itself around his limp wrist.
“Oppa,” she whispered. A few teardrops landed on Jinki’s cheek and he wanted to get up and wipe the tears from Yoona’s face, tell her that he was alright. However, the stiffness of his body provided too much for him to handle and his weak muscles stopped trying to move his hand. Jinki inwardly sighed.
He knew what had happened - he got hit by a stupid car. And now he was in the stupid hospital. And his stupid body wouldn’t move like he wanted it do. Just..stupid.
At least he could hear. That was a little comfort, a little hope, in this extremely bleak situation. Though he wasn’t sure he liked what the doctors kept saying, talking about shots that brought eternal sleep and other medical terms that Jinki should know, but didn’t. He cursed his negligence in his medical course and wished that Jessica was here to explain it all to him.
But she wasn’t.
Jessica never came. However, it wasn’t as if he could get up and tell her what the doctors said anyway.
On the other hand, his mother was his most frequent visitor, always there to rub his head and hold his hand. To Jinki’s surprise, his father came every now and then as well, despite the man’s busy schedules. Jinki always knew it was him because even though his father never spoke directly to him, he brought with him the familiar scent of cigarettes and cinnamon, a scent Jinki found oddly comforting.
Yoona and Henry came often as well. The two of them would often tell Jinki stories about their day, exciting things that happened at Yonsei and Yoona’s own university. Yoona would cry a lot which made Jinki feel really guilty. Henry never cried, but there were periods of silence in his visits where he would do nothing but rest his head next to Jinki’s, their breathing matching evenly.
Somehow, this made Jinki feel even guiltier than Yoona’s tears.
Other friends from Yonsei came to visit too. Henry told him that there was a whole pile of “get well” presents on the chair next to him which both embarrassed and flattered Jinki. And while all this attention cheered Jinki up considerably, the four people he wanted to see most, even more than Jessica, never ever came.
And that fact hurt Jinki a lot more than it should.
July;
There was shouting. Jinki slowly slid into consciousness to hear Yoona’s angry voice mixing with Henry’s calm one. And then another voice - no two. Or was it three? Jinki couldn’t really tell. But Yoona’s voice got a lot louder which made his head ache.
“How dare you come and see him now! How long did it take you? A fucking month. A month. And you were the ones who saw it happen to him! You assholes! He loves you so much and you just - just - “
Yoona’s voice began to shake and pretty soon she was sobbing again. Jinki heard Henry murmur soothing words. Jinki began to tingle in anticipation. It had to be them; there was no other explanation why Yoona would get so worked up otherwise. Jinki didn’t know how long it had been, but it didn’t matter. They were here now.
“Please,” Jinki recognized Taemin’s voice immediately. He sounded sad, so sad it hurt Jinki’s heart. “Please let us talk to him.”
“We shouldn’t have to ask.” Kibum sounded grumpy and annoyed but Jinki detected traces of worry behind it.
“Whatever.” Yoona was spiteful and angry. Jinki really wanted to tell her to calm down. He understood her feelings - he was kind of annoyed that it had taken them this long to visit too.
But they had to have had a reason. Right?
“Besides,” Yoona continued. “Not all of you are even here. What the hell is up with that?”
Jinki’s heart sunk at her words. Who…?
“Jonghyun hyung wasn’t feeling too well.” Minho’s deep resonating voice was comforting to hear, though his words, not so much. “He couldn’t make it today.”
The way Minho said it, the careful tone of his voice showed Jinki that he was repressing some emotion, though he wasn’t sure what. There was awkwardness in the room that even Jinki could feel.
“Let them see him.” Henry’s voice was quiet but firm. Jinki imagined Yoona opening her mouth to protest only to be silenced by a look from Henry.
Henry ah is so cool.
There was an instant rush of footsteps and skinny arms wrapped themselves around Jinki’s neck. Taemin buried his face into Jinki’s neck and began to cry. “He’s so cold,” Taemin whimpered. Minho’s long fingers intertwined with Jinki’s and Kibum’s soft hand covered Jinki’s other hand.
“We’re sorry,” Minho said grimly. “We wanted to see you. Really we did.”
“But Jonghyun,” Kibum hesitated here. “He thinks it’s his fault. He blames himself for everything. He didn’t want to come today because he didn’t think he deserved to see you.”
Taemin sniffed against Jinki’s skin. “We tried telling him otherwise but he wouldn’t listen. Jonghyun hyung is really stubborn. But Saebyuk says that Jinki hyung would never blame Jonghyun hyung for what happened. And Saebyuk’s right.”
Minho squeezed his hand. “We’re sorry hyung,” he repeated softly. Jinki so desperately longed to squeeze his hand back, show them that he was here and listening, that he forgave them for everything, that he missed them so much.
“I miss you.” Kibum’s voice was strangely steady despite the sadness of his voice. “A lot.”
“Me too,” Taemin whispered brokenly. “Jinki hyung…” Minho didn’t say anything but his grip on Jinki’s hand grew tighter.
Jinki wanted to cry.
I miss you too.
Jonghyun ignored Minho when he walked into his room. He merely pressed his face harder into his pillow, hoping the other boy would just leave him alone. His hopes were crushed though when Minho placed a firm hand on Jonghyun’s back. Jonghyun sighed into the pillow.
“What?” he mumbled tiredly.
“You made Jinki hyung upset today.”
Jonghyun raised his face and stared at Minho oddly. “What the fuck Minho, he’s still in his damn coma. How could I have made him upset?”
Minho frowned at Jonghyun’s tone. “He can hear us,” Minho insisted. Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“I’m sure,” he said sarcastically. Minho’s frown grew.
“Hyung,” he started warningly. Jonghyun raised an eyebrow at Minho and just scoffed, moving to put his face back into the pillow. Minho grabbed Jonghyun’s shoulder and pulled sharply so that the older boy was facing him. Jonghyun’s eyes were furious.
“Let. Go,” he hissed through gritted teeth. Minho shook his head and dug his nails painfully into Jonghyun’s shoulder.
“Tell me you don’t care about him,” Minho said softly though every word was dripping with anger. “Tell me and I’ll let this go forever. Lose my respect for you, but I’ll let it go.”
The anger in Jonghyun’s eyes faded and he just looked at Minho. “What kind of question is that?” he muttered tiredly. Minho shrugged, grip on Jonghyun still tight.
“A valid one.”
Jonghyun chuckled weakly. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I liked you better when you were mute.”
Minho didn’t say anything and tapped his fingers impatiently; he was still waiting from Jonghyun’s answer. Jonghyun sighed. “Jesus Minho, I - “
The door flew open and a wild-eyed Kibum stumbled inside. The other two blinked at him in confusion. Kibum shook his head and began to speak in hurried breaths, “Yoona ssi - Jinki - he opened his eyes.”
“It was only for a moment,” Henry explained to the four of them. “He looked at me as if he wanted to say something but then his eyes closed again and his heart rate lowered. I was taken out of the room so I don’t know if anything else happened. But,” Henry closed his eyes here to compose himself. “It looked as if…as if he was in a lot of pain.”
Kibum bit his lip. “Can we see him?” he asked anxiously. Their visits to Jinki were limited and despite Jungsu’s lenience, the rest of the board was still strict about their rules. Henry shrugged.
“Not sure. Ask the nurse.”
Minho looked at Jonghyun meaningfully. “We’ve already seen him. Jonghyun hyung should be the one to visit.” Jonghyun choked in protest but Kibum and Taemin looked at him expectantly.
Henry raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” he asked casually. Jonghyun gulped. He knew Henry knew all about him, all about them. He was Jinki’s best friend after all.
“I-yeah I guess,” Jonghyun mumbled reluctantly. Taemin smiled at him, Minho clapped his back, and Kibum just rolled his eyes muttering “about time,” under his breath. Henry took Jonghyun’s hand and gently led him to Jinki’s room.
“Excuse me,” he asked the nurse politely. “Do you think it’s okay for Jinki to have visitors now?” The nurse immediately frowned at their request
“Well he is stable, but I don’t - “
“Please,” Jonghyun cut in surprising both Henry and the nurse. “I need to go and…apologize.” Henry’s eyes softened at Jonghyun. Jonghyun hung his head, ashamed at his outburst. The nurse scrutinized Jonghyun for a moment before sighing.
“Five minutes.” She opened the door and Jonghyun bowed gratefully. He walked inside, heart hammering in his chest, palms sweaty, but completely froze when he saw Jinki’s still form.
“Sunbae,” he whispered hoarsely. Jonghyun stumbled to Jinki’s bed with weak legs and got on his knees next to the bed. “Fuck.” His face searched Jinki’s pale face, noted the tubes sticking in his body, and that’s when he fell apart.
“Fuck I’m sorry.” The tears he had been holding back the past two months came rushing in a flood. “I’m so sorry. I never,” Jonghyun took a shaky breath. “I always tried to push you away, tried to make sure you never got past my walls. But, I was wrong.” Jonghyun’s voice became more hysterical.
“We need you sun-hyung. All of us. Me, Kibum, Minho, and Tae. You’re our miracle, our everything. You made Minho fucking talk. You chased Taemin’s nightmare away. Kibum told me what you did for him, what you’re trying to do for us. And I,” Jonghyun clenched his hands into fists. “I never thanked you. Ever. And I was scared. Scared you were going to get into my head, something I didn’t’ want anyone to do, ever.”
Jonghyun laughed shakily. “Do you want to know what happened to me? My sister. My sister was the most amazing girl in the world. We had a band. Yeah I can sing. She could sing too. We had plans, we were going to reach the top and she.” Jonghyun stopped here and leaned over to gently stroke Jinki’s face.
“She threw herself in front of a car. A car that was going to kill me.” Jonghyun’s confession lifted off his shoulders like a heavy burden. More tears spilled down his face. “She died. And I, I couldn’t take it. Couldn’t take the fact that she had died instead of me. I jumped off a bridge.”
Jonghyun shook his head. “You don’t understand what it was like for me, having the same thing happen right in front of my eyes. You looked just like her, bloody and beat up. You guys even said the same thing before you went unconscious. My name. You said my fucking name.”
Jonghyun hastily wiped his face with his sleeve. “Please wake up sunbae. Wake up so that we can sing together. Okay?”
Jinki didn’t respond. Jonghyun sniffed loudly and threw himself over Jinki’s body, laying there until the nurses came to pull him off.
July;
Why, Jinki asked himself miserably. Why won’t I wake up? He’s pretty sure the whole world had come to visit him over the course of his months in the hospital. His mother refused to put him to sleep, something he was eternally grateful for. The doctors had already given up on him, he could tell. Jinki couldn’t really blame them though. It was his fault. Obviously his will wasn’t strong enough.
Am I just going to be like this forever?
Now that was a depressing thought. His body would just slowly decay until there was nothing left of him. Jinki mentally shivered as images of his skeleton began to pop into his brain. That would be really gross.
Jinki’s self-pitying thoughts were rudely interrupted when he heard the door bang open. Taemin’s excited voice rang in his ears loudly.
“Hyung hyung! I have the best news ever-“
“Shut up,” Jonghyun sounded more happy that annoyed. “I want to be the one that tells him!”
“Oh,” Kibum’s voice was on motherly mode. “Come on you guys, you’re going to give the poor guy a headache -“
“I doubt a headache is the greatest of Jinki hyung’s troubles,” Minho commented amusedly. Kibum snorted and laughter sounded through the room. Jinki was happy that they were happy but. He couldn’t help but feel wistful - he wanted to join them so badly.
“Anyway. Good news,” Minho started talking and Taemin and Jonghyun started protesting wildly. “Jessica ssi has been busy with your proposal and,” Jinki didn’t think he had heard Minho sound so happy before. “It got passed.”
Jinki’s mind went blank.
It got passed…
“Yeah,” Kibum was patting Jinki’s arm gently. “We’re free.”
“Free,” Taemin and Jonghyun echoed.
“Free,” Minho laughed lightly.
Free, Jinki thought in wonder. Kibum’s hand snaked down to grab Jinki’s.
“And it’s all thanks to you.”
They’re free. Free. Free! Jinki mentally screamed. The gears in his mind whirled wildly and Jinki felt something hot surge through his veins. It was burning, so hot, so hot -
Kibum’s eyes widened when he felt Jinki’s fingers twitch in his hold. “Guys,” he said voice shaking. “Guys!” he shrieked wildly. The other three were by Jinki’s side instantly.
“What?” Jonghyun demanded. “What’s wrong?” Kibum shook his head, silent for once and just pointed at Jinki. They turned and watched in awe and Jinki’s features began to twist, mouth slowly opening into an “O” shape.
Jinki’s eyelids were heavy and it was difficult to move anything and he just hurt all over. But. He gasped as his eyes finally creaked open to see four beautiful faces, four sets of teary eyes.
He blinked several times, eyes still getting adjusted to the blinding light. Kibum squeezed his hand. Jinki turned to face him and slowly squeezed back. Kibum burst into tears. Jonghyun laughed in disbelief. Taemin started to babble and wave his arms about in a frenzy. Minho just smiled.
“Free,” Jinki whispered, voice ridiculously hoarse, throat extremely sore. Taemin stopped babbling and nodded his head furiously. Kibum’s grip was so tight, Jinki thought his hand might fall off. Jonghyun had moved to Jinki’s other side and grabbed his free hand. The boys surrounded him, the warmth from their hearts spreading and filling Jinki up, making his heart light.
It fucking hurt to smile. But Jinki did anyway.
Fin.