[Code Geass] For the Sake of a Smile (Ch 2)
for the sake of a smile (ch 2)
suzaku/kallen; pg-13; ~2230w
post series: even with everything finished, they're still here. in pieces, but still here. now it's up to them whether or not they want to put the pieces back together.
“Oniichan!”
Kallen sat up abruptly, panting and sweaty, and looked around the room, panic rising in her at sight of the unfamiliar surroundings.
Where am I -
Her thoughts paused when she looked down at her attire. An oversized blue T-shirt. Also unfamiliar. Kallen carefully lifted the fabric to her nose and took a sniff. It smelled like detergent and something like wood and -
“Suzaku,” she breathed into the empty room. Memories of last night tumbled into her mind, shattering her early morning haziness. She was in Suzaku’s apartment, in Suzaku’s bed, wearing Suzaku’s clothes. Kallen thought about that for a moment.
Thank God Milly isn’t here… She shuddered - she didn’t even want to think of the sexual innuendos and misunderstandings Milly would possibly cook up, had she been here. Kallen pushed the covers off her body and stepped out of bed, stretching her arms out above her. When she had finished, she walked over to the window and pushed back the curtains.
Sunlight immediately brightened up the room and Kallen stared out at the rest of the suburban apartments. She slid the window open and sighed as the morning air brushed against her face.
This was her Japan. This was the Black Knight’s Japan. And it was beautiful.
Kallen was so immersed in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice the bedroom door open or Suzaku walk up until he was beside her.
“It’s a nice day today.” Kallen squeaked in surprise and automatically punched Suzaku in the shoulder as a reflex. Suzaku winced in pain and began to rub the spot where she had hit him. “Ouch.”
Kallen immediately blushed. “D-Don’t sneak up on people like that!” she snapped in response. To her surprise, Suzaku only smiled at her gently. And it was a real smile too. She could see the serenity in his eyes.
For some reason this made Kallen blush even more.
But it was a relief. It looked as if Suzaku had finally calmed down. Yesterday, when he had clung to her in that moment of weakness, sobbing uncontrollably, she had been scared. Suzaku was strong, Suzaku was the one that held people while they cried, not the other way around. And yet, there he had been, vulnerable and afraid.
Then again, Kallen had made herself vulnerable last night as well. She knew that she probably wouldn’t have said what she said last night two years ago. It’s funny, how time can change a person. How it can make years of anger fade away into nothingness. How it can turn old rivalries into something else.
“-llen? Kallen?” Kallen blinked when she saw Suzaku waving a hand in front of her face.
“Oh. Sorry,” she murmured. Spacing out at a time like this - how typical of her. Suzaku just smiled again.
“It’s fine. I was just saying, I finished cooking breakfast so do you want to eat after you freshen up or…?” Kallen’s stomach grumbled loudly. She blushed. Suzaku’s smile widened. “I guess that answers my question!”
Kallen huffed and looked away from Suzaku’s smiling face. Okay, she was glad he had gotten over his emotional moment, but now she was starting to remember how annoying happy-go-lucky, boy-scout-mode, Suzaku was. She bit back a sigh and looked down to the floor.
Then she was painfully made aware of something. Her attire. She was still only in Suzaku’s shirt, and while it was big and comfy, it barely covered her bottom, leaving too much skin expose for Kallen’s liking. She looked up dangerously at Suzaku. Had he been…peeking?
“Suzaku,” she said rather calmly. Suzaku blinked at her before slowly backing away. Kallen inwardly smirked. She took note that Suzaku disliked her scary calm voice. She would definitely use that to her advantage. “would you mind leaving the room now? I want to change.”
Suzaku blinked again. “But I thought you said you didn’t bring any clothes - oof!”
Kallen swiftly kicked him in the chest causing him to fall to the floor. She grabbed him by the back of his neck and began to drag him to the door. This was also when she realized that she was grabbing skin, not cloth. Which meant Suzaku was shirtless.
…oh.
She practically threw him out of the room, kicking him again in the chest for good measure. Suzaku’s face was abnormally red for some reason but Kallen didn’t bother considering why. She was too flustered herself.
“Make sure my food doesn’t get cold!” she snapped before slamming the door shut.
Suzaku stared at the door, his face still red. “Kallen…when you kicked just now…you were totally exposed…” he whimpered.
Kallen managed to find a pair of sweatpants so when she sat down on the couch next to Suzaku, she felt considerably less naked. Although, Suzaku had failed to show the same courtesy and hadn’t put a shirt on. He had reddened again as soon as he saw her but her eyes were not on his face.
She couldn’t help but feel angry at herself when her cheeks started to burn again. She had been in the freaking Black Rebellion for crying out loud! There had been plenty of shirtless guys - even naked ones, though those memories were not fond in Kallen’s book. So why was she acting so ridiculous?
Suzaku looked at her strangely again. “Kallen? Are you alright?” Kallen kind of wanted to smash her head on the table. Spacing out two times already. And it wasn’t even noon. She stuck her fork in her eggs and began to shovel them forcefully into her mouth.
“Mmmfine!”
Damn that Suzaku. Damn him and his abs.
Suzaku laughed a little and started to eat his own portion of eggs. There was a comfortable silence; the only sounds were the forks scraping on the plates. They sat there for a while, enjoying their food. Kallen was the first to break the quiet.
“I didn’t know you could cook.” Suzaku shrugged.
“When you had to deal with Miss Cecile’s cooking…it was helpful to learn how to scramble a couple of eggs.”
Kallen blinked. “What was wrong with her food?”
He just stared at her. “She put jam in onigiri,” he said blankly. Kallen’s eyes widened and they both shuddered at the same time. When he had recovered Suzaku looked at Kallen again. “You grew out your hair,” he commented simply.
Self-conscious, Kallen’s hands instantly shot up to her fiery locks. Suzaku laughed. “I like it. It’s different from your…previous looks.”
Kallen shrugged. “A new Kallen I suppose,” she murmured nervously. Suzaku looked surprised for a second before his face settled back into his neutral smile.
“Yes, I suppose,” he echoed faintly. Kallen stared at Suzaku from the corner of her eye - his voice sounded distant and his expression was wistful, as if he were remembering something. When she called his name, he turned to her, startled, before putting on another smile.
This smile was different.
It reminded her of the Suzaku he had been, before he had “died”, the Suzaku with Lelouch the Demon Emperor. Kallen’s heart twisted a little as images of Lelouch flooded her mind for a few seconds.
Damn it…
Unwanted tears began to sting at the corners of Kallen’s eyes and she cursed herself. It had been two years for god’s sake! She should be over this. Kallen rubbed furiously at her eyes, hoping to be rid of the evidence before Suzaku looked her way again. Then there was a startled noise. Kallen inwardly sighed. Too late.
“Kallen?” Suzaku reached for her, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong? What - “
“It’s nothing!” she sniffed, cursing herself at how weak she sounded. “I just…need to take a shower!”
Instantly Suzaku’s concern was replaced with panic as Kallen stood up, ready to run to the private comforts of the bathroom. “No!” He immediately lunged for Kallen and the two of them tumbled to the ground.
“What the hell Suzaku?!” Kallen screeched. “What is up with you and your random mood swings?” The same thing had happened yesterday before Suzaku offered his bed to her - he freaked out and locked the bedroom door before she had even gone in and when he came back out, he looked unusually guilty.
“You can’t go into the bathroom!” Suzaku wrapped his arms around Kallen’s middle, preventing her from getting up. “It’s - it’s - “ Suzaku visibly struggled for words as Kallen squirmed underneath him.
“Suzaku! Let me go!”
Suzaku shook his head furiously. “Why do you need to shower? You don’t smell. I think you smell nice. You’re fine - you don’t need to shower.”
Kallen spluttered for a moment before putting all her weight on her arms as she heaved Suzaku off her. “You dork!” Unfortunately, Suzaku’s death grip on Kallen had not loosened any when she had pushed him, resulting in Suzaku with his back against the floor and Kallen on top of him.
Kallen blushed. Suzaku blushed. “Let. Go,” Kallen whispered dangerously. Suzaku slowly shook his head.
“You can’t go into the bathroom…” he said weakly. Kallen stared hard at his flushed face before sighing.
“Fine! I won’t go.” Suzaku’s expression was relieved. “Your porn is safe.”
His eyes widened. “P-Porn?! What porn?” Kallen rolled her eyes.
“Don’t play dumb. Why else would you act so weird, today and yesterday? You’re obviously hiding something and I’ll bet you anything it’s porn. That’s funny, coming from a prude like you.”
Suzaku’s mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to come up with an answer to that. In the end all that came out of his mouth was a strangled squeak. Kallen smiled confidently.
“I won’t judge you. You’re a hormonal young man - it’s perfectly normal.”
And she was on top of said hormonal, perverted, young man.
Shit.
“Get off!”
“Wh-you’re the one on top of me this time Kallen! O-ow that hurts!”
Leaving Suzaku to nurse his now-bruised cheek, Kallen stormed into the kitchen to look for some aspirin. Seriously, spending all this time with Suzaku was making her head hurt. They had “tussled” twice already and argued more than she expected. All in all it felt…
Normal. Well, almost normal. Kallen couldn’t quite put her finger on what she and Suzaku were doing right now but she knew that it wasn’t hurting her in the slightest. Therefore, there was no reason to get upset about anything.
But Suzaku himself was still acting weird.
Kallen bit her lip after she had gulped down some water with the pill. She still hadn’t answered Suzaku, told him why she was here. To be honest, Kallen wasn’t sure of the answer. All she did know was the strange circumstances that brought her to Suzaku’s home in the first place.
I suppose I am acting a bit strange as well… Kallen mused to herself as she walked back to the living room. I mean, I saw him die. Shouldn’t I be a bit less calm about this?
She sighed and plopped back on the couch. All this thinking was making her head hurt again and she really didn’t want to take another aspirin. Kallen stared at Suzaku who was still pouting and rubbing his cheek and she couldn’t help but smile.
Even if this was strange, she was oddly content. Kallen couldn’t think of another time when she felt this light-hearted. It was strange but she didn’t really mind at the moment. Answers to her questions could come later, right?
“It’s strange.” Kallen’s head shot up and she just looked at Suzaku because, what the hell, was he reading her mind or something. Suzaku met her gaze with an easy smile. “It’s strange where we are right now but I like it. I don’t think I’ve smiled so much or cried so much in such little time.”
He stood up and walked towards her until he was standing right in front of her. “Doesn’t this remind you of Ashford?” he whispered softly. “The bickering, the laughing?”
Kallen closed her eyes and thought of Milly and her devious smile. Shirley and her tendencies to jump to conclusions. Nina and her quiet demeanor. Rivalz and his infectious laugh. Nunnally’s gentle hands.
Lelouch’s eyes…
She didn’t even notice her tears until Suzaku gently wiped them away with his thumbs. Kallen’s eyes snapped open and she looked into Suzaku’s sad green orbs.
“It’s okay to cry,” he whispered. “You let me cry yesterday, I’ll let you cry today.”
Kallen shook her head but her shoulders were already trembling. Suzaku sank down to his knees so that he was looking up at her and gently placed his hands in hers. Kallen gasped and squeezed his hands on impulse.
“I miss…” I miss the idiocy, I miss the pranks, I miss the laughter, I miss - “I - I - “
“I know,” Suzaku murmured soothingly and Kallen lowered her head slightly so that he wouldn’t have to see her tears. He let her dig her nails into his palms as she continued to tremble.
“Suzaku,” she whispered softly. He “hmm”-ed in response. She grasped his hands even tighter and kept silent until he gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Suzaku I’m…glad I came and found you…”
She felt Suzaku’s form stiffen before he started to stroke Kallen’s sweaty hands with his warm fingers.
“I am too. Very glad.”
Kallen closed her eyes and smiled, lifting up their intertwined hands to place against her cheek. Very glad.
suzaku/kallen; pg-13; ~2230w
post series: even with everything finished, they're still here. in pieces, but still here. now it's up to them whether or not they want to put the pieces back together.
“Oniichan!”
Kallen sat up abruptly, panting and sweaty, and looked around the room, panic rising in her at sight of the unfamiliar surroundings.
Where am I -
Her thoughts paused when she looked down at her attire. An oversized blue T-shirt. Also unfamiliar. Kallen carefully lifted the fabric to her nose and took a sniff. It smelled like detergent and something like wood and -
“Suzaku,” she breathed into the empty room. Memories of last night tumbled into her mind, shattering her early morning haziness. She was in Suzaku’s apartment, in Suzaku’s bed, wearing Suzaku’s clothes. Kallen thought about that for a moment.
Thank God Milly isn’t here… She shuddered - she didn’t even want to think of the sexual innuendos and misunderstandings Milly would possibly cook up, had she been here. Kallen pushed the covers off her body and stepped out of bed, stretching her arms out above her. When she had finished, she walked over to the window and pushed back the curtains.
Sunlight immediately brightened up the room and Kallen stared out at the rest of the suburban apartments. She slid the window open and sighed as the morning air brushed against her face.
This was her Japan. This was the Black Knight’s Japan. And it was beautiful.
Kallen was so immersed in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice the bedroom door open or Suzaku walk up until he was beside her.
“It’s a nice day today.” Kallen squeaked in surprise and automatically punched Suzaku in the shoulder as a reflex. Suzaku winced in pain and began to rub the spot where she had hit him. “Ouch.”
Kallen immediately blushed. “D-Don’t sneak up on people like that!” she snapped in response. To her surprise, Suzaku only smiled at her gently. And it was a real smile too. She could see the serenity in his eyes.
For some reason this made Kallen blush even more.
But it was a relief. It looked as if Suzaku had finally calmed down. Yesterday, when he had clung to her in that moment of weakness, sobbing uncontrollably, she had been scared. Suzaku was strong, Suzaku was the one that held people while they cried, not the other way around. And yet, there he had been, vulnerable and afraid.
Then again, Kallen had made herself vulnerable last night as well. She knew that she probably wouldn’t have said what she said last night two years ago. It’s funny, how time can change a person. How it can make years of anger fade away into nothingness. How it can turn old rivalries into something else.
“-llen? Kallen?” Kallen blinked when she saw Suzaku waving a hand in front of her face.
“Oh. Sorry,” she murmured. Spacing out at a time like this - how typical of her. Suzaku just smiled again.
“It’s fine. I was just saying, I finished cooking breakfast so do you want to eat after you freshen up or…?” Kallen’s stomach grumbled loudly. She blushed. Suzaku’s smile widened. “I guess that answers my question!”
Kallen huffed and looked away from Suzaku’s smiling face. Okay, she was glad he had gotten over his emotional moment, but now she was starting to remember how annoying happy-go-lucky, boy-scout-mode, Suzaku was. She bit back a sigh and looked down to the floor.
Then she was painfully made aware of something. Her attire. She was still only in Suzaku’s shirt, and while it was big and comfy, it barely covered her bottom, leaving too much skin expose for Kallen’s liking. She looked up dangerously at Suzaku. Had he been…peeking?
“Suzaku,” she said rather calmly. Suzaku blinked at her before slowly backing away. Kallen inwardly smirked. She took note that Suzaku disliked her scary calm voice. She would definitely use that to her advantage. “would you mind leaving the room now? I want to change.”
Suzaku blinked again. “But I thought you said you didn’t bring any clothes - oof!”
Kallen swiftly kicked him in the chest causing him to fall to the floor. She grabbed him by the back of his neck and began to drag him to the door. This was also when she realized that she was grabbing skin, not cloth. Which meant Suzaku was shirtless.
…oh.
She practically threw him out of the room, kicking him again in the chest for good measure. Suzaku’s face was abnormally red for some reason but Kallen didn’t bother considering why. She was too flustered herself.
“Make sure my food doesn’t get cold!” she snapped before slamming the door shut.
Suzaku stared at the door, his face still red. “Kallen…when you kicked just now…you were totally exposed…” he whimpered.
Kallen managed to find a pair of sweatpants so when she sat down on the couch next to Suzaku, she felt considerably less naked. Although, Suzaku had failed to show the same courtesy and hadn’t put a shirt on. He had reddened again as soon as he saw her but her eyes were not on his face.
She couldn’t help but feel angry at herself when her cheeks started to burn again. She had been in the freaking Black Rebellion for crying out loud! There had been plenty of shirtless guys - even naked ones, though those memories were not fond in Kallen’s book. So why was she acting so ridiculous?
Suzaku looked at her strangely again. “Kallen? Are you alright?” Kallen kind of wanted to smash her head on the table. Spacing out two times already. And it wasn’t even noon. She stuck her fork in her eggs and began to shovel them forcefully into her mouth.
“Mmmfine!”
Damn that Suzaku. Damn him and his abs.
Suzaku laughed a little and started to eat his own portion of eggs. There was a comfortable silence; the only sounds were the forks scraping on the plates. They sat there for a while, enjoying their food. Kallen was the first to break the quiet.
“I didn’t know you could cook.” Suzaku shrugged.
“When you had to deal with Miss Cecile’s cooking…it was helpful to learn how to scramble a couple of eggs.”
Kallen blinked. “What was wrong with her food?”
He just stared at her. “She put jam in onigiri,” he said blankly. Kallen’s eyes widened and they both shuddered at the same time. When he had recovered Suzaku looked at Kallen again. “You grew out your hair,” he commented simply.
Self-conscious, Kallen’s hands instantly shot up to her fiery locks. Suzaku laughed. “I like it. It’s different from your…previous looks.”
Kallen shrugged. “A new Kallen I suppose,” she murmured nervously. Suzaku looked surprised for a second before his face settled back into his neutral smile.
“Yes, I suppose,” he echoed faintly. Kallen stared at Suzaku from the corner of her eye - his voice sounded distant and his expression was wistful, as if he were remembering something. When she called his name, he turned to her, startled, before putting on another smile.
This smile was different.
It reminded her of the Suzaku he had been, before he had “died”, the Suzaku with Lelouch the Demon Emperor. Kallen’s heart twisted a little as images of Lelouch flooded her mind for a few seconds.
Damn it…
Unwanted tears began to sting at the corners of Kallen’s eyes and she cursed herself. It had been two years for god’s sake! She should be over this. Kallen rubbed furiously at her eyes, hoping to be rid of the evidence before Suzaku looked her way again. Then there was a startled noise. Kallen inwardly sighed. Too late.
“Kallen?” Suzaku reached for her, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong? What - “
“It’s nothing!” she sniffed, cursing herself at how weak she sounded. “I just…need to take a shower!”
Instantly Suzaku’s concern was replaced with panic as Kallen stood up, ready to run to the private comforts of the bathroom. “No!” He immediately lunged for Kallen and the two of them tumbled to the ground.
“What the hell Suzaku?!” Kallen screeched. “What is up with you and your random mood swings?” The same thing had happened yesterday before Suzaku offered his bed to her - he freaked out and locked the bedroom door before she had even gone in and when he came back out, he looked unusually guilty.
“You can’t go into the bathroom!” Suzaku wrapped his arms around Kallen’s middle, preventing her from getting up. “It’s - it’s - “ Suzaku visibly struggled for words as Kallen squirmed underneath him.
“Suzaku! Let me go!”
Suzaku shook his head furiously. “Why do you need to shower? You don’t smell. I think you smell nice. You’re fine - you don’t need to shower.”
Kallen spluttered for a moment before putting all her weight on her arms as she heaved Suzaku off her. “You dork!” Unfortunately, Suzaku’s death grip on Kallen had not loosened any when she had pushed him, resulting in Suzaku with his back against the floor and Kallen on top of him.
Kallen blushed. Suzaku blushed. “Let. Go,” Kallen whispered dangerously. Suzaku slowly shook his head.
“You can’t go into the bathroom…” he said weakly. Kallen stared hard at his flushed face before sighing.
“Fine! I won’t go.” Suzaku’s expression was relieved. “Your porn is safe.”
His eyes widened. “P-Porn?! What porn?” Kallen rolled her eyes.
“Don’t play dumb. Why else would you act so weird, today and yesterday? You’re obviously hiding something and I’ll bet you anything it’s porn. That’s funny, coming from a prude like you.”
Suzaku’s mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to come up with an answer to that. In the end all that came out of his mouth was a strangled squeak. Kallen smiled confidently.
“I won’t judge you. You’re a hormonal young man - it’s perfectly normal.”
And she was on top of said hormonal, perverted, young man.
Shit.
“Get off!”
“Wh-you’re the one on top of me this time Kallen! O-ow that hurts!”
Leaving Suzaku to nurse his now-bruised cheek, Kallen stormed into the kitchen to look for some aspirin. Seriously, spending all this time with Suzaku was making her head hurt. They had “tussled” twice already and argued more than she expected. All in all it felt…
Normal. Well, almost normal. Kallen couldn’t quite put her finger on what she and Suzaku were doing right now but she knew that it wasn’t hurting her in the slightest. Therefore, there was no reason to get upset about anything.
But Suzaku himself was still acting weird.
Kallen bit her lip after she had gulped down some water with the pill. She still hadn’t answered Suzaku, told him why she was here. To be honest, Kallen wasn’t sure of the answer. All she did know was the strange circumstances that brought her to Suzaku’s home in the first place.
I suppose I am acting a bit strange as well… Kallen mused to herself as she walked back to the living room. I mean, I saw him die. Shouldn’t I be a bit less calm about this?
She sighed and plopped back on the couch. All this thinking was making her head hurt again and she really didn’t want to take another aspirin. Kallen stared at Suzaku who was still pouting and rubbing his cheek and she couldn’t help but smile.
Even if this was strange, she was oddly content. Kallen couldn’t think of another time when she felt this light-hearted. It was strange but she didn’t really mind at the moment. Answers to her questions could come later, right?
“It’s strange.” Kallen’s head shot up and she just looked at Suzaku because, what the hell, was he reading her mind or something. Suzaku met her gaze with an easy smile. “It’s strange where we are right now but I like it. I don’t think I’ve smiled so much or cried so much in such little time.”
He stood up and walked towards her until he was standing right in front of her. “Doesn’t this remind you of Ashford?” he whispered softly. “The bickering, the laughing?”
Kallen closed her eyes and thought of Milly and her devious smile. Shirley and her tendencies to jump to conclusions. Nina and her quiet demeanor. Rivalz and his infectious laugh. Nunnally’s gentle hands.
Lelouch’s eyes…
She didn’t even notice her tears until Suzaku gently wiped them away with his thumbs. Kallen’s eyes snapped open and she looked into Suzaku’s sad green orbs.
“It’s okay to cry,” he whispered. “You let me cry yesterday, I’ll let you cry today.”
Kallen shook her head but her shoulders were already trembling. Suzaku sank down to his knees so that he was looking up at her and gently placed his hands in hers. Kallen gasped and squeezed his hands on impulse.
“I miss…” I miss the idiocy, I miss the pranks, I miss the laughter, I miss - “I - I - “
“I know,” Suzaku murmured soothingly and Kallen lowered her head slightly so that he wouldn’t have to see her tears. He let her dig her nails into his palms as she continued to tremble.
“Suzaku,” she whispered softly. He “hmm”-ed in response. She grasped his hands even tighter and kept silent until he gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Suzaku I’m…glad I came and found you…”
She felt Suzaku’s form stiffen before he started to stroke Kallen’s sweaty hands with his warm fingers.
“I am too. Very glad.”
Kallen closed her eyes and smiled, lifting up their intertwined hands to place against her cheek. Very glad.