[Kaleidoscope update] And Yet So Far

[shimotsuki]

I can't believe it has taken me since December to finish this chapter of Kaleidoscope. Actually, part of the problem is that the iceberg has calved yet again -- I posted an earlier draft of half of the first scene at rt_morelove in January under the title Taking Leave, but (because Remus just won't get on with it and leave, darn him ;) ) that title now

Comments

[huldrejenta]

I've been looking forward to reading this since I saw you posted it, so glad to finally find the time :D

I think my favourite part of this is how you emphasize Tonks' heartache having many reasons. I know we've talked about this before, and I suppose it's an important issue for a lot of R/T fans. You let us see hos she's low because she has to watch Remus in a situation he hates without being able to help him. She has to worry about his safety and his state of mind, yet seeing that he is in fact the only one who can go on this mission. She 's fighting dementors regularly. And, she's being kept at arm-length's distance by the man she loves. It's all of these things, not just the "my man says no to me". You've done a wonderful job of showing all of that here

[shimotsuki]

Aw, thanks for reading, especially when things have been so busy!

I'm especially glad you like what I was trying to do with Tonks and her emotional state in this one -- because I definitely remember talking about this issue with you before, and I know this point is an important one for you too (it definitely is for me).

Very glad to hear you think the characters are consistent; I've been writing this series for an embarrassingly long time, so I'm relieved when it all fits together...

I feel bad for the poor wolf Patronus, never getting any love! ;)

[gilpin25]

Remus may have been a right (writing) pain with his refusal to get going, lol, but I'm sure it's all to the good. Because I relished the surprise of that last scene, and the timing of Tonks's changed patronus seems so apt after what has gone before.

They're both being put to the sword (or the werewolves) in their different ways, and one of the joys of this is the way you've shown the contrast in their responses throughout. Remus seems to be making abrupt departures from situations he can't cope with throughout, or simply not looking them in the face, and Tonks keeps having to stand by and watch. I like how you've played with her thoughts and speech to show her turmoil, with emphasis put on certain single words in many of them, like hadn't, not, let and the telling repetition of would notMy favourite scene is Remus conjuring his patronus: how he gives himself away with his favourite memory and how Tonks immediately realizes. Then the patronus acting like a rejected dog that desperately seeks acceptance or a kind word from its

[shimotsuki]

Ha, I've had it in my head forever that the tea-and-sympathy chapter was also going to be the Remus-leaves chapter, and in this one I finally managed to get to tea-and-sympathy (hooray) -- so I was bound and determined to send Remus off. Except, I'd pushed past 6000(!) words, with no end in sight, and I realized that (a) it was disproportionately long for a Kaleidoscope installment, and (b) the Patronus change was crying out to be a final scene. So here we are, and Remus hasn't left yet, lol. At least this means I have a 1500-word head start on the next one

[anonymous]

I've been waiting for the next update in this series, and you did not disappoint. The way you tackle the emotions Tonks feels in Half Blood Prince is very complex and impressive, really fleshing out the basic ideas of the book. I love the interactions between her and Remus, so tentative and heart breaking. Keep Writing!

[shimotsuki]

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm sorry this chapter was so long in coming (the next one should be faster), but very happy to know that people are still reading. :)

I'm glad you feel that this version of Tonks has some complexity. I just don't believe it fits with her character from OotP for her to get all depressed for the sole reason that Remus had rejected her -- I think there had to be a lot more to it than that.

I will definitely keep writing! Thanks for the kind words and the encouragement.

[merryb87]

I just love your writing, I teared up as I read this, because Remus and Tonks and the terribleness of it all, and the way you are able to capture it is just great. I love it, I really do.

You're able to capture the pain, you made me want to hug Remus and push him toward Tonks, yelling at him, "let her comfort you!" I love the way you write Tonks as not some love sick puppy, not getting want she wants, but she's more in pain that someone she loves his hurting.

Remus turning away from his patronus, was great, you really set Remus well up here to how he is and how he feels about his condition. The last part about Tonks and hers was spot on too.

I always look forward to updates on this series and it's always worth the wait.

[shimotsuki]

Thank you so much! I'm just happy to know there are still a few people out there reading this story. ;) Seriously, I really appreciate you sticking with it -- and thanks so much for the encouraging words.

And I'm happy to see you've put your finger on exactly what I'm trying to do with Tonks. I think that if Remus actually didn't love her, she would be sad, but she would get over it. What we're seeing in HBP is a combination of all kinds of things, including worry and stress -- it's not at all merely because of "not getting her man".

I also think that what makes Tonks so stubborn in HBP (lucky for Remus!) is knowing that he does love her and is pushing her away out of a misplaced sense of honor.

[jobey_in_error]

Yay! I love installments of this. Not least of all this one, because it feels SO canony. For instance, the scene at the Three Broomsticks is very convincing -- hard to believe Remus would be constantly carping about public disapproval if they weren't actually tasting some of it. It was well done. Though I wanted to shake him when he rolled over like a wet card. (Forgive my mixed metaphors. Coffee hasn't kicked in yet.)

One of my FAVORITE scenes from canon is when the wedding is ambushed and Lupin and Tonks are the first to leap into fighting stance, casting spells back to back. It encapsulates one of the aspects I love about them, namely their understated badassery. So I really enjoyed them back to back against the dementors, too. ;) Also, you really convinced me on a hare being Tonks's originally with this line: Her hare made her smile when she conjured it, made her feel warm and safe and lucky. That is so her(For that matter, you make a convincing case for the wolf, too. Why else would Lupin have worked to avoid having everyone

[shimotsuki]

Oh, my, thank you so much for the thoughtful and detailed comments. Especially when you're working on projects of your own!

I'm really glad this feels to you like it fits in with canon. I've had to make myself an OotP-into-HBP calendar to keep track of the relevant canon timing for these last few chapters. And I love that point you make about the parallel with Remus and Tonks fighting in DH -- I have to admit I'd forgotten about that specific moment (I've only read DH once; need to do a reread!), but a back-to-back defensive position just seems like something Order members would do. And I really wanted to show some of that understated badassery here, which Tonks and Remus hang on to despite all they're dealing with. ;)

wanted to shake him when he rolled over like a wet cardHa, yes, but I really do see him doing exactly this -- he has a life-long habit of trying not to be noticed (even before his secret gets out), and I could see him not wanting to escalate a nasty scene in Rosmerta's pub after she'd been kind to him. Plus, I