When I started to really feel at home at UCI and feel like part of a community, you were a major contributor. And I forgot that. I betrayed that gesture ( Read more... )

I don't want to be home right now. For 8 days. I want to be other home, Oakland. Styrotopia. Warm soft memory foam, large bed. Greg. Sarah. Nkei, Skye, little Ziora. I am crying and crying over Cassie. I want the comfort I've come to expect from returning to so cal. Hugs, cuddles, warmth, kisses, laughs, holding hands, eating together. ( Read more... )

The Technical Standards of the ABT/NYU Masters Program in Dance Education ( Read more... )

I don't know if this is quite relevant, but I used to agonize about telling my mom about my relationships. I think it's mainly because I wanted her to ask and be actively interested in my personal life and comfortable hearing about it. But she's not. She'd rather what she considers private things remain private. I think that's just anything ( Read more... )

I want cuddles. Four weeks until cuddles, hopefully. The weather is that perfect level of chilly with warming sun. Fall has now Arrived. And all this STUFF is happening everywhere. And I'm just trying to absorb it all. So...it's emotional even if it's not personal, if though I'm not in the thick of it. So at the end of the day, I just want ( Read more... )

I want a hug. I want to fall into someone and feel warm and wanted and cared for. I want to have a slow day of nothing with someone who's seen me near my worst and still loves me. I want quiet conversation. Nuzzles. Naps. Walks. To sit by the lake and fall asleep on the grass together. Caresses and lazy kisses. I want comfort and sleep. I ( Read more... )

...I'm going to try to keep a little food diary. This is so frustrating ( Read more... )

conflicted. :\ too tired to think about this. teaching problematic "curriculum" in the morning at "Princess Camp". I can't believe the story I'm being asked to do myself during this training has to be this one" Pocahantes. The children pick "indian names" and go on a journey to earn their "indian feather". even if I manage to tweak it or ( Read more... )

All of a sudden it's a new beginning. I have three new jobs to balance in the near future and this current job--which has caused me a lot of grief, a lot of growth, and some joy in the form of many many 8 year olds--is coming to a close in less than three weeks. I have ended a relationship which was not right for me but I will always hold Cassie ( Read more... )

"Hold on to yourself, cause this is gonna hurt like hell"

I don't want to go to work. It's rainy and I have to...

I don't want to talk about it. I'm don't want it to be true. But it already hurts. The truth is here. Will I ever make better choices for myself?