Round Three: The Man Who Can't Be Moved
Title: The Man Who Can’t Be Moved
Team: Canon
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Jonghyun/Key
Summary: It's not about being pretty on the inside, it's about being beautiful on the inside. And the right people will see that.
Prompt Used: Beautiful Night
Also Inspired by: The Script- The Man Who Can't be Moved.
Key is an expert, an expert to keep up his façade- his ever so almighty disguise. He is dubbed as the person who can do anything and everything- Almighty Key.
He knows when to entertain, when to speak, when to laugh, smile, act at the right times. Key is trained to be an entertainer, an idol, a star. Fans adore-no, fans love him. People look up to him. Key is a role model.
But he doesn’t see that.
Because beneath all those make-up, those dashing diva-like clothes, those piercings, beneath the ‘Almighty Key’ is Kim Kibum. A boy who in thorough reality-lost, fragile, contrasting from the bitch-like attitude he shows his audience.
Kibum is insecure. He does things that make people think he is confident, makes sure he wears the best clothes, the right amount of make-up to cover the blemishes, the right shades to hide the door to anyone’s emotion, be the best person he can be but in reality he’s just another boy. He is just like any ordinary boy with struggles, issues, teenage problems and bullshit.
He’s not beautiful, not even border line close to decent. Kibum is repulsive, with his too thin body akin to a lithe lady-like body, too pale skin, those stupid feline eyes, his airy nasally voice. Kibum is a nuisance.
There’s a startling knock on the door. Urgent, it sounds like.
Kibum’s eyes are red and rimmed with fat ugly tears, he hastily wipes them, stumbling while going out of the dry bathtub on their bathroom dorm.
The knocking doesn’t stop; he tries to even out his breathing and wills his voice not to crack as he speaks. “…Yeah?”
“Hyung. Dinner’s ready. Are you okay? You’ve been there for over an hour”
“I’m fine Taemin-ah” He mentally curses when his voice cracks. “Just… I’ll be out in a minute”
It’s quiet for awhile and Kibum almost thought that Taemin has already left. He did, only to call Jonghyun over.
“Kibum-ah? Get out of the bathroom” Jonghyun says, voice a bit more demanding.
Taemin. I will have your head.
Said boy scowls, because Jonghyun is the type of person that always has his ways with Kibum no matter what the circumstances are.
They’re best friends, but with the pressure, stress, difficulties and with Kibum’s insecurities all piling up-he’s starting to break, his façade is starting to crumble and Jonghyun is starting to see that-always has seen it but never really called out on it because Jonghyun knows when not to burst Kibum’s bubble of protection. But now, it’s different, it’s harder, Kibum’s carrying a heavier burden and Jonghyun can’t just stand and watch anymore.
He has to do something.
But Kibum is stubborn and he’d do anything to keep up a fight-to keep it to himself. Because Kibum cannot let others see his weaknesses. Except Jonghyun is as stubborn as Kibum is; that doesn’t really help because Kibum is fire and Jonghyun is fire, you can’t put out the other with the same element.
Right now, Kibum needs a moment to sort things out and if Jonghyun starts to pry on what the problem is when Kibum clearly isn’t in the right state of mind; he might just spill it all. And he can’t let that happen.
“Kibum” Jonghyun says, voice losing patience fast. “Just-open the door and tell me what happened”
“…Nothing happened. Why are all of you getting worked up?!” Kibum retorts, irate.
“You could’ve fooled them but not me Kibum. You should know better. Now get out of there and just… let’s talk about it”
Kibum grits out his teeth, getting more and more annoyed by the minute. “I don’t know what got into yours and all of the other’s head, but nothing is wrong, stop making a problem when nothing’s really wrong to start with”
He hears the elder scoff through the thin bathroom door. “No Kibum. There is a problem. I know there is, stop making me stupid because I’m not. Get the fuck out of there” Jonghyun’s voice is already irritated, a bit mad.
And just fuels the younger’s anger more that he explodes. “Fucking hell. Nothing is fucking wrong Jonghyun! Just go away!”
Kibum opens the door and shoves Jonghyun away so hard, he topples on the floor and makes a run outside the dorm, grasping out whatever shoes he could have his hands on, because he can’t let anyone especially Jonghyun see him crying. Sure, he cried loads of times on music shows and stuff-but that’s because he’s happy and overwhelmed that a person like him? A nobody like him, is loved by millions of fans.
He releases a breath he doesn’t even realize he’s been holding once he sets foot on the elevator, punching the button leading to the ground floor. He closes his eyes and runs a hand to his dirty blond hair. He sees his reflection on the elevator and frowns.
You’re face is obnoxious- cheekbones too high, eyes too feline-like, you’re face is scary and… you’re no almighty.
He’s tired of thinking-no, of knowing every visible flaw he has. And it makes him sick to know that he, Kibum is already his own flaw. He brings up a hand to his mouth trying to stifle the quite sobs starting form as his eyes flood with tears.
He looks at the pair of shoes he didn’t realize he has dropped on the floor. They’re Taemin’s-a simple black-white, chequered slip-ons; thankful that he shares the same size with the youngest. Hastily, he wears them and puts on the hood of his black cotton jacket. Chances are, people may notice him, he hopes not; because he has to walk for a few blocks to reach his destination-the only place his brain manages to give him to go to, he can’t actually ride a bus; it’ll be too risky nor a taxi; still risky and besides, he forgot his wallet along with his cell phone. He gives one more sigh as the elevator opens and walks out of the building.
>”<
“Jonghyun. What exactly did you do?” Jinki says through gritted teeth.
It’s rare for their leader to actually get mad being the one who tries to maintain order within the group, being level headed is a must.
“I told you. I just told him to get out and tell me what his problem was!” Retorts the lead singer, clearly annoyed.
“Hyung. He’s not picking up” Minho interjects, one hand on his cell phone.
Taemin emerges from their shared bedroom. “That’s because Kibum-hyung left his phone”
Jonghyun sighs through his nose, bringing one hand up between his eyes, thumb and forefinger massaging the skin there. “Look. I’ll fix this, I know what’s wrong and I know him, he just needs time and he’ll come back”
“Bloody well he must! We have a performance tomorrow Jonghyun! We have to be up at five fucking thirty. And our managers will have our heads if we don’t find him in time” Jinki shouts standing up from their couch.
All three of them stands, a bit stunned because besides the fact that their sweet leader almost always never gets mad is he never ever swears.
Taemin regains his composure, coming after Jinki to calm him down. “Hyung. Just let Jonghyun-hyung handle this okay? You need rest” He motions for Minho to help him out and thankfully the rapper got the gist.
“Yeah Hyung, Jonghyun-hyung and I will handle this. I’ll help him just take a rest”
Jinki sighs through his nose, sitting down the couch. “I’m…sorry. Just-we barely have time for ourselves and with all the promotions and stuff and with Kibum being like this I-just sorry really. I didn’t mean to shout I-”
Jonghyun chuckles lightly. “Hyung you’re rambling. Its fine I get it, we feel it too. I’ll take care of him”
The leader bites his lower lip and releases a sigh. “O-okay”
As soon Jinki’s dragged to the bedroom by Taemin, Minho asks Jonghyun. “Hyung. What are you actually planning? I mean where are we gonna find him?”
“I don’t know, but I know a few places-I don’t want to drag you in Minho so I’ll look for him myself”
The rapper raises his eyebrows. “We got each other’s back Hyung? How in the world am I not in this?”
“You know Kibum… he’s snappy at times like this, it’s okay. I’ll call if something goes wrong. I'll try to bring him back” Jonghyun tells the younger as he puts on his jacket and grabs the car keys on the table.
>”<
Kibum stands in front of a door, hugging his jacket tighter and he knocks.
There were a few minutes of silence and he hears a loud shuffling from the inside before the door is opened.
The girl before him blinks, surprised. “Kibum?! What are you doing here at a time like this?”
“Hello to you too Cole” Kibum tries to say in an upbeat voice but failing.
Nicole notices it and understands. “Come in”
Kibum smiles, “Thank you”
He walks in to his friend’s flat and takes of his shoes, standing a bit awkwardly on her living room.
“So… want something to drink?” Nicole says from the kitchen.
“No. I’m fine”
Nicole raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. “I know you won’t be telling me what’s wrong,” She says while dragging Kibum to her purple couch. “But- I’m gonna ask anyway, what’s wrong?”
Kibum smiles meekly. “You guessed right Cole. Just… you know the usual, distract me”
Nicole looks at the other worriedly. “You know Kibum-ah,” she starts, running a hand to Kibum’s dirty blond hair, “It’s bad to keep feelings, it hurts, gives you too much stress…I know because I’ve done it before, if you’re not gonna tell me at least tell someone, okay?”
“Can’t promise that Jung Yongjoo” He mumbles with close eyes, relishing the comfort his friend is giving.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“…I am. Very tired”
“Your eyes are puffy” Nicole points out as she brushes gentle fingers over the boy’s closed eyes.
“Distract me… please”
Nicole bites her lip. “Okay Kibum. Let’s see” She tilts her head, pondering. ”We’re on a vacation now, us KARA I mean. You’re lucky I’m home you know? Or else you’d be outside freezing from the cold”
“And… Hara, you know her relationship with Junhyung? It’s going great!” Nicole says, voice a bit too artificial.
She clears her throat, trying to feign nonchalance. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed by now? Don’t you have any schedules to go to?”
She doesn’t give a chance for the other to answer because she starts rambling about nonsense, things about her, about the 91-line, a dog she saw, anything to keep her friend’s mind occupied.
“And, and we…” Nicole stops abruptly. “Kibum-ah?”
Kibum cries silently, tears brimming on his eyes, soft sobs erupting from his mouth. “Y-you’re not doing-a good job-Nicole” He manages to get out through his soft cries.
Nicole just looks at the other before hugging him tight. “Kibum-ah…I love you, you know that right? Me, Dongwoon, Woohyun-the rest of 91-line and your band mates, Jinki, Taemin, Minho and Jonghyun… especially Jonghyun. You have all of us yeah? You can tell any of us”
“I’m just…exhausted” Kibum murmurs, shifting his legs to further bury himself to Nicole’s warmth.
Nicole always emits a glow that Kibum always sought out for, a motherly and caring aura that always calms him. He appreciates her in many ways, one being not asking and simply giving the needed comfort he needs, unlike Jonghyun who annoys him to no end until he can make Kibum spill. Aside from Jonghyun, Kibum considers Nicole his second best friend.
He sniffs and fists his eyes, sitting up. “Thank you… Cole”
Nicole smiles weakly. “Come on, stand up,” she announces, pulling the other to his feet. “I have that chocolate latte you always harass me for when I come back from LA”
>”<
It’s already 3:38AM. Jonghyun’s eyes are slowly drooping by the time he arrived on Jung Nicole’s apartment. The fifth place he’s looked apparently, for his best friend.
Hours earlier, he was at Beast’s dorm, hoping to find Kibum through Dongwoon when he received an unknown call, from none other than Jung Nicole, the last person Jonghyun would ever think his best friend would go to, telling him Kibum’s sleeping in her house and that he won’t be coming home but will attend the schedule. And frankly, Jonghyun would not have any of that because he just spent hours searching for Kibum and getting all embarrassed in the process (“I thought of all people you’ll know where he is, sunbae-nim” Woohyun had said to him” and “I thought that you were always breathing down Kibum’s neck?” Jinwoon says, with wide eyes), it was like a slap to the face not knowing Kibum like he thought he (and the rest of 91-line) did.
He parks their company’s car, and further snuggles to his brown jacket as he got out, getting really cold. He reaches the second floor and knocked on a few wrong doors (“Oh my god! You’re SHINee’s Jonghyun right? Can I get your autograph?!) before finding Nicole’s flat.
Jonghyun doesn’t get a chance to knock on her door because it was abruptly opened by the owner. “J-Jonghyun? O-oppa?” Nicole says, shocked and visibly cringing as she spews out ‘Oppa’.
Apparrently Jonghyun feels the same discomfort. “Jonghyun would be fine. I’m here to come and get Kibum”
“Obviously, but he’s asleep already and you all have to get up early, I think it would be best not to wake him up”
Jonghyun can’t help but scowl, he’s exhausted and all he wants to do is sleep. “Nicole do you know that I’ve been driving all night, going to other idols’ dorm just to find him?! I-we, need to talk. I know what’s bothering him okay? I just…” he trails off.
Nicole nods sympathetically at him. “I’m not gonna argue with that Jonghyun-ssi and I know that you care for him like no else can but Kibum needs time-he’s, fragile right now. You should try talking to him tomorrow or when the time is right”
“I… okay-fine” Jonghyun knows when to shut up when a point is taken. His learned that a lot from Kibum, being fast as lightning when it comes to snarky comebacks.
“Do you want to come in?”
“I’m fine, I need to sleep...” Jonghyun utters, already spinning on his heal. “And Nicole?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you, I guess” He says, a little awkward.
Nicole flashes a smile. “No problem”
>”<
To say that Jonghyun has a bad headache would be an understatement, because fuck, his head is throbbing from the lack sleep and not being able to eat last night.
He got home at 4AM thanking the gods that Nicole’s apartment was just a few blocks away from their dorm, he flopped head first on his bed, not bothering to change his clothes or brush his teeth; hygiene be damned.
He got approximately twenty minutes and five seconds of sleep, not that he was counting, he’s dead by the time his face hit his pillow; his co-members started getting up, so he didn’t have any other choice when Taemin woke him up.
He already showered and he’s sitting on the kitchen, head buried in his hands, trying to ease the pain.
“Hyung, did you drink some painkillers?” Minho asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He groans in response.
“Was that a yes or a no?”
“Yes!” Jonghyun snaps.
Minho rolls his eyes. “You’re just like Kibum-hyung when he PMS’s like a bitch. Anyways, speaking of him he called Jinki, says sorry and he’ll be going straight to the venue”
True to his word, they saw Kibum on a music show, as stated on their schedule. Kibum's back to his diva attitude, snapping here and there, making snarky comments and such. The others decided to let it be except Jonghyun because Kibum is an open book to him and he knows his best friend is barely holding it together; by the slightly forced laugh, by the stiffness of his posture, by the lack of bite on his comments. Truthfully the members see it but knows better than to pry especially not here while in the verge of their performance.
"Kibum-ah" Jonghyun starts, as they walk through the hallways; on their way to the stage.
Kibum doesn't spare him a glance but he does talk. "Hyung" he says, voice a bit higher than usual. "I know what you're going to say... I'm sorry too, for acting rash last night"
Jonghyun shakes his head, catching up with the younger to walk with him. "It's not that Kibum... look I-"
"SHINee, you're on in five minutes!"
Kibum stops walking, he subtly clenches his fists and clears his throat. "Hyung... Jjong, just drop it okay? I'm fine, really"
It takes every ounce of Kibum's strength to say that straight because he is most definitely not okay; barely holding himself up for their schedules until he can go back to safety confines of his bed covers.
Jonghyun looks at the other's eyes and it speaks nothing short of pleading.
He sighs irritatedly. "Fine... I'm letting this go... for now"
>"<
After a few more activities, they finally make it home, all dead beat tired.
"Jinki-hyung... can I talk to you for a moment?" Jonghyun asks, stopping their leader from going in their dorm.
Jinki raises him eyebrows in anticipation. "What is it?"
Jonghyun hesitates for a second and clears his throat. "Hyung, can you... can you talk to our manager to cancel our schedules for tomorrow, at least Kibum's and mine"
Jinki looks at him quizzically. "What?! Are you high Jonghyun?"
"I know what I'm asking of you is a bit crazy but... it's Kibum, I know you know okay? He's getting worse, I- I can't just stand by and watch anymore okay? I'm worried about him" Jonghyun looks at the other, pleading. "He needs a place where can be himself, a familiar place, to let his feelings out. I wanna take him there as soon as possible"
Jinki holds his forehead by his forefinger and thumb, lightly massaging. "Jonghyun, can't you take him some other time?"
"No. Kibum is... I'm worried okay? I can't- this can't wait alright? His been disoriented earlier, so many mistakes and he just blanks out... Please Hyung? Just tell the manager we caught a cold or something"
Jinki sighs, defeated. "Fine, Jonghyun. Okay but you owe me big time"
"Thank you and don't tell Kibum about this. It's gonna take some kind of miracle for me to take him there, I'll talk to him right now, and we're going"
"And if he doesn't?"
Jonghyun smiles weakly. "I have to make him"
>"<
He goes straight to his bed, not bothering to wash up, and throwing the covers over his head. Kibum's head hurts and his heart is clenching quite painfully from trying to stop and hold back his tears.
He feels himself being poked on his shoulder under the covers. "Kibum?" comes his best friend's voice.
He groans artificially, pretending to be awaken. "What is it Jjong?"
"I'll make this quick okay?"
Kibum throws his covers, tossing them aside. "It's not about this again right?"
"I know we have activities tomorrow but I want to take you to that playground, about halfway away here remember that place?"
Kibum eyes go round from surprise. "What?! Why?"
"I'll tell you on the way"
Kibum snorts. "Like you said, schedules tomorrow. We have no time for that Jjong. Go to sleep"
Jonghyun runs a through his hair. "Fine. But I am going, no matter what it takes and I am not coming back until you come to get me"
Kibum scoffs. "Seriously Jonghyun. You wouldn't"
"You'd be surprised"
>"<
It's around eight in the morning, the sun's rays peaking through the windows when Minho shakes Kibum awake. "Hyung, wake up"
Kibum offers a faint groan in response, and muttering. "I'm up"
He walks slowly to the kitchen, dragging his feet. He blindly reaches for a cup on the cupboard when he notices that Taemin is the only one fresh and ready, sitting on the table while eating a bowl of cereal.
"The others?" He yawns.
"Minho-hyung's dressing up, Jinki-hyung is taking a bath, and Jonghyun- hyung is..."
Kibum shoots the maknae a look, clearly asking for the other to continue and when Taemin avoids the other's look, he drops his cup on the table quite harshly.
"And Jonghyun?" Kibum repeats. He's starting to guess where the latter is, but it just can't be. His best friend wouldn't at a time like this.
"Out" Taemin squeaked.
"Out where?"
"Out there"
Kibum scowls. "You don't want to mess with me when I just woke up. Lee Taemin, where is he?"
"No one knows Kibum" Comes Jinki's calm voice as he wipes his hair dry.
"What do you mean? When did he leave?"
Jinki shrugs. "Around the time we got home, he left. Says, he couldn't convince you out but he's still going and he's not coming back until you get there"
"We have schedules" states Kibum.
Jinki nods, and snatches Taemin's banana milk. "I know"
"Then why aren't you looking for him?" Kibum screeches.
"I'm sorry Kibum. But- he made it clear that you have to go there for him to come back"
Kibum scratches his head in irritation. He couldn't believe that Jonghyun would act without thinking. Who did he think he was? Leaving them all hanging like this and expecting him to get his best friend on that playground. He can't believe that Jonghyun would go through this just to make him spill. That-
"Stubborn bastard" Kibum mutters, angrily. "How can he be so dense?! We are so fucking busy right now with promotions and he just leaves like that?! Of all times! That stupid mother fu-"
"We get the point Hyung" Taemin cuts in.
Kibum glares at the maknae, "He will comeback by himself" And stomps out to the bathroom.
>"<
To say that Kibum was anxious would be an understatement. He was beyond worried; there has been no calls or messages from Jonghyun, their manager had even scolded them for not knowing where had Jonghyun gone; Kibum had kept his mouth shut. Why? Frankly, he doesn't anyone finding about that playground he and Jonghyun had found.
It's raining already, and he found out earlier that Jonghyun had took a train to get there. And Kibum doesn't even remember any sort of shed on that place; he just wishes Jonghyun at least brought an umbrella.
Halfway through a radio show, he pulls their leader outside after a ten-minute break. "Hyung, cover for me alright? I'm going after that jerk, it's already evening and there's no contact from him, I'll check the dorm and if he's not there I'm taking Minho's car to drive there"
Jinki nods, understanding. "Okay" he pulls out Minho's car keys on his back pocket. "Just go straight on the parking lot, he won't be at the dorm, he was precise about not coming back until well, you get him"
"Why is Minho's car keys with you?"
Jinki shrugs. "I knew that sooner or later you'd change your mind. I've already talked to Minho"
"Thank you Hyung"
>"<
It takes five hours by car to get to his destination. by train? three hours and then three hours more by foot. Of course, Kibum chooses the former because it's raining hard already and he doesn't want to walk even though that place is already deprived of civilization, meaning no chance of getting noticed.
Kibum's spends almost the rest of his hours trying to call his best friend, and leaving messages. He's chewing his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. The rain's falling harder and Kibum's worry is eating him up inside.
"Jonghyun! I will kill you!" He shouts, speeding up the gas.
The playground is a special place for him and Jonghyun, they used to go there when they were still trainees. Going there used to be their favorite thing to do after practicing their choreography and straining their voices from singing too much. The place gives them the peace they're looking for, it was serene, abandoned yes, but it gives off that safe feeling like how Nicole gives Kibum that motherly aura.
When they go there, they still sing their hearts out even though their voices are already strained and tired. Because when they sing on that place- there's no judgment, free, no worries of being scolded for not reaching that note or for their voice cracking. In that place, they sing because they want to, because they're free to. Unlike on the studio, they feel suffocated.
It's been years since he last stepped on that playground, and he would've been excited if it weren't for Jonghyun probably freezing his ass off there. He sighs, annoyed.
"Off all places Jjong!"
It's midnight by the time he reaches the place; the rain has reduced to a light pressure, small droplets falling slowly. He takes a deep breath and steps out, keeping the head lights of the car on since it's already dark. He feels home once he takes the first step to the playground, he holds his umbrella tighter, as all those precious memories come back. The beautiful and bad memories both playing inside his head as he walks silently on the muddy grasses, it had grown a lot, almost up to his knees. He couldn't see properly because of the dark but he could smell the faint rust, probably from the iron of the swings or the seesaws. It's been so long, and Kibum could almost picture what this place looked like right now.
He clears his throat. "Jjong?" he call out.
No answer.
"Jonghyun?!" He calls a little louder.
"Hey! Don't play any games alright? Where are you?!" He shouts, voice cracking from the dread starting to form.
He squints his eyes and uses his phone's poor lighting as a flashlight. He spots a figure sitting on one of the swings, head leaning to what seems like the rusted chains that holds the seat.
"Jonghyun?" he asks, incredulously.
He eyes the clothes and it was definitely Jonghyun's. Panic seeps into his heart when the figure doesn't respond. "Shit"
He comes running after it and immediately kneels in front of the other, getting mud all over his pink tight jeans. "Shit Jjong?"
He holds his best friend's forehead and runs a hand to his chocolate brown hair. he was wet, he's clothes were damp and he was burning from fever. And he can feel that he was faintly shivering from the cold.
"Holy... shit Jonghyun? Are you?..." He trails off, trying to get Jonghyun up.
"Come on Jjong, get up"
"You came Kibum-ah" Jonghyun mutters, tiredly.
"You are so stupid, you know if I found you dead," Kibum hauls the other up putting the other's arm around his shoulder and putting his own arm around his best friend's waist "I would've brought you back to life, just so I could kill you again!"
"I needed you to come here..."
They limped back to the car, having a few trips here and there because of the weight Kibum was carrying and the fact that it was dark, the rain was starting to pour a bit harder again. When they make it back to the car, Kibum shoves him right on the back seat and immediately takes off the elder's clothes, he puts on a fresh white shirt he found on the back seat, thankfully it looks clean.
He wipes Jonghyun's wet hair with his own cotton jacket.
"You are so stupid Jjong! So dense" He mutters, angrily.
Jonghyun hums as a response.
"Do you know how worried I was?!"
"Need... you to come here" Jonghyun mumbles, with closed eyes.
When Kibum was done drying his hair, he prepares himself to get out and get the umbrella he dropped near the swings.
"Wait..." Jonghyun mumbles, hand shooting out to grab Kibum's wrist.
"Jonghyun, get some rest first, you're still burning up" He replies, trying to shake off the elder's hold.
"No..." Jonghyun says, voice a bit hoarse and sits up straight, he clears his throat. "We are talking about this right now"
Kibum frowns. "Not this again, Jjong? Please? I am-"
"Unfair" Jonghyun cuts in. "That's what you are... you're unfair to yourself Kibum... Stop doing this to yourself"
Kibum scoffs. "What do you know?"
Jonghyun finally opens his eyes. "Everything alright? I know everything. Kibum why would you ever feel that you're not great? that you're not perfect? Kibum you are Key, the Almighty you know? Why would you-"
"Because I'm not okay!" Kibum shouts, "I'm not perfect! I'm a nuisance! I don't know why you all think that I'm so cool or anything but fuck, Jonghyun! Can't you see? I'm-I'm nothing! There I said it!"
Angry tears are already flowing so hard from Kibum's eyes, and what surprises the younger is that Jonghyun is crying too.
"Kibum..."
"Why did you even take me here?"
"Because you needed it" Jonghyun says, voice leveled. "It's the best place to release everything and leave it behind. Start anew. Not mind anything and ignore everything for now, SHINee, the manager, the fans, just you and me. I thought you did that already, the last time we went here"
Kibum harshly wipes his tears away. "What do you mean?"
Jonghyun sighs. "I'm redundant when I say this, but I know you Kibum, you're still holding on to your old self, the one that thinks he's nothing, he's imperfect and you keep telling yourself that what you show to us and the fans, to everyone in general is just some stupid disguise... Kibum you need to realize that what you are now is you, not a facade, not a cover up, just you... Kibum, people change alright? You need to know that, you're just hurting yourself. Let go."
Kibum looks at the older, and he can't see anything but pure sincerity. "I'm not..." he weakly replies.
"Stop denying it Kibum. Please let it go, you are beautiful and perfect and breathtaking. Kibum, you are amazing. You may think you're not but you are, you're sincere about what you do and you always give your best, and the best part is... you are beautiful inside and out"
"But..."
Jonghyun shakes his head. "No Kibum. I know that some people say you're not what we think you are, that what you're showing is not you but the thing is, fuck what they think alright? Kibum I and we, the members, the staffs, the fans, your friends know you best, you are iridescent inside out Kibum and the important thing is we see that and that's what matters"
Kibm sighs, and cries silently, he let's himself be pulled into a hug. "I'm sorry... so sorry" he sobs.
"It's not your fault Kibum-ah" Jonghyun murmurs, he pulls back and wipes the younger's tears away. "Can I count on you that you believe me now?"
"Why are you so good with words?"
Jonghyun smiles. "I'm just telling the truth here"
Kibum bites his lower lip, and lunges forward kissing the other, short and chaste. It takes a few seconds for Jonghyun's reflexes to kick in but he kisses back.
"Thank you Jjong" He mumbles on to Jonghyun's lips.
>"<
"And Kibum? One more thing..."
"Yeah?"
"I...love you"
Poll The Man Who Can't Be Moved
Team: Canon
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: Jonghyun/Key
Summary: It's not about being pretty on the inside, it's about being beautiful on the inside. And the right people will see that.
Prompt Used: Beautiful Night
Also Inspired by: The Script- The Man Who Can't be Moved.
Key is an expert, an expert to keep up his façade- his ever so almighty disguise. He is dubbed as the person who can do anything and everything- Almighty Key.
He knows when to entertain, when to speak, when to laugh, smile, act at the right times. Key is trained to be an entertainer, an idol, a star. Fans adore-no, fans love him. People look up to him. Key is a role model.
But he doesn’t see that.
Because beneath all those make-up, those dashing diva-like clothes, those piercings, beneath the ‘Almighty Key’ is Kim Kibum. A boy who in thorough reality-lost, fragile, contrasting from the bitch-like attitude he shows his audience.
Kibum is insecure. He does things that make people think he is confident, makes sure he wears the best clothes, the right amount of make-up to cover the blemishes, the right shades to hide the door to anyone’s emotion, be the best person he can be but in reality he’s just another boy. He is just like any ordinary boy with struggles, issues, teenage problems and bullshit.
He’s not beautiful, not even border line close to decent. Kibum is repulsive, with his too thin body akin to a lithe lady-like body, too pale skin, those stupid feline eyes, his airy nasally voice. Kibum is a nuisance.
There’s a startling knock on the door. Urgent, it sounds like.
Kibum’s eyes are red and rimmed with fat ugly tears, he hastily wipes them, stumbling while going out of the dry bathtub on their bathroom dorm.
The knocking doesn’t stop; he tries to even out his breathing and wills his voice not to crack as he speaks. “…Yeah?”
“Hyung. Dinner’s ready. Are you okay? You’ve been there for over an hour”
“I’m fine Taemin-ah” He mentally curses when his voice cracks. “Just… I’ll be out in a minute”
It’s quiet for awhile and Kibum almost thought that Taemin has already left. He did, only to call Jonghyun over.
“Kibum-ah? Get out of the bathroom” Jonghyun says, voice a bit more demanding.
Taemin. I will have your head.
Said boy scowls, because Jonghyun is the type of person that always has his ways with Kibum no matter what the circumstances are.
They’re best friends, but with the pressure, stress, difficulties and with Kibum’s insecurities all piling up-he’s starting to break, his façade is starting to crumble and Jonghyun is starting to see that-always has seen it but never really called out on it because Jonghyun knows when not to burst Kibum’s bubble of protection. But now, it’s different, it’s harder, Kibum’s carrying a heavier burden and Jonghyun can’t just stand and watch anymore.
He has to do something.
But Kibum is stubborn and he’d do anything to keep up a fight-to keep it to himself. Because Kibum cannot let others see his weaknesses. Except Jonghyun is as stubborn as Kibum is; that doesn’t really help because Kibum is fire and Jonghyun is fire, you can’t put out the other with the same element.
Right now, Kibum needs a moment to sort things out and if Jonghyun starts to pry on what the problem is when Kibum clearly isn’t in the right state of mind; he might just spill it all. And he can’t let that happen.
“Kibum” Jonghyun says, voice losing patience fast. “Just-open the door and tell me what happened”
“…Nothing happened. Why are all of you getting worked up?!” Kibum retorts, irate.
“You could’ve fooled them but not me Kibum. You should know better. Now get out of there and just… let’s talk about it”
Kibum grits out his teeth, getting more and more annoyed by the minute. “I don’t know what got into yours and all of the other’s head, but nothing is wrong, stop making a problem when nothing’s really wrong to start with”
He hears the elder scoff through the thin bathroom door. “No Kibum. There is a problem. I know there is, stop making me stupid because I’m not. Get the fuck out of there” Jonghyun’s voice is already irritated, a bit mad.
And just fuels the younger’s anger more that he explodes. “Fucking hell. Nothing is fucking wrong Jonghyun! Just go away!”
Kibum opens the door and shoves Jonghyun away so hard, he topples on the floor and makes a run outside the dorm, grasping out whatever shoes he could have his hands on, because he can’t let anyone especially Jonghyun see him crying. Sure, he cried loads of times on music shows and stuff-but that’s because he’s happy and overwhelmed that a person like him? A nobody like him, is loved by millions of fans.
He releases a breath he doesn’t even realize he’s been holding once he sets foot on the elevator, punching the button leading to the ground floor. He closes his eyes and runs a hand to his dirty blond hair. He sees his reflection on the elevator and frowns.
You’re face is obnoxious- cheekbones too high, eyes too feline-like, you’re face is scary and… you’re no almighty.
He’s tired of thinking-no, of knowing every visible flaw he has. And it makes him sick to know that he, Kibum is already his own flaw. He brings up a hand to his mouth trying to stifle the quite sobs starting form as his eyes flood with tears.
He looks at the pair of shoes he didn’t realize he has dropped on the floor. They’re Taemin’s-a simple black-white, chequered slip-ons; thankful that he shares the same size with the youngest. Hastily, he wears them and puts on the hood of his black cotton jacket. Chances are, people may notice him, he hopes not; because he has to walk for a few blocks to reach his destination-the only place his brain manages to give him to go to, he can’t actually ride a bus; it’ll be too risky nor a taxi; still risky and besides, he forgot his wallet along with his cell phone. He gives one more sigh as the elevator opens and walks out of the building.
>”<
“Jonghyun. What exactly did you do?” Jinki says through gritted teeth.
It’s rare for their leader to actually get mad being the one who tries to maintain order within the group, being level headed is a must.
“I told you. I just told him to get out and tell me what his problem was!” Retorts the lead singer, clearly annoyed.
“Hyung. He’s not picking up” Minho interjects, one hand on his cell phone.
Taemin emerges from their shared bedroom. “That’s because Kibum-hyung left his phone”
Jonghyun sighs through his nose, bringing one hand up between his eyes, thumb and forefinger massaging the skin there. “Look. I’ll fix this, I know what’s wrong and I know him, he just needs time and he’ll come back”
“Bloody well he must! We have a performance tomorrow Jonghyun! We have to be up at five fucking thirty. And our managers will have our heads if we don’t find him in time” Jinki shouts standing up from their couch.
All three of them stands, a bit stunned because besides the fact that their sweet leader almost always never gets mad is he never ever swears.
Taemin regains his composure, coming after Jinki to calm him down. “Hyung. Just let Jonghyun-hyung handle this okay? You need rest” He motions for Minho to help him out and thankfully the rapper got the gist.
“Yeah Hyung, Jonghyun-hyung and I will handle this. I’ll help him just take a rest”
Jinki sighs through his nose, sitting down the couch. “I’m…sorry. Just-we barely have time for ourselves and with all the promotions and stuff and with Kibum being like this I-just sorry really. I didn’t mean to shout I-”
Jonghyun chuckles lightly. “Hyung you’re rambling. Its fine I get it, we feel it too. I’ll take care of him”
The leader bites his lower lip and releases a sigh. “O-okay”
As soon Jinki’s dragged to the bedroom by Taemin, Minho asks Jonghyun. “Hyung. What are you actually planning? I mean where are we gonna find him?”
“I don’t know, but I know a few places-I don’t want to drag you in Minho so I’ll look for him myself”
The rapper raises his eyebrows. “We got each other’s back Hyung? How in the world am I not in this?”
“You know Kibum… he’s snappy at times like this, it’s okay. I’ll call if something goes wrong. I'll try to bring him back” Jonghyun tells the younger as he puts on his jacket and grabs the car keys on the table.
>”<
Kibum stands in front of a door, hugging his jacket tighter and he knocks.
There were a few minutes of silence and he hears a loud shuffling from the inside before the door is opened.
The girl before him blinks, surprised. “Kibum?! What are you doing here at a time like this?”
“Hello to you too Cole” Kibum tries to say in an upbeat voice but failing.
Nicole notices it and understands. “Come in”
Kibum smiles, “Thank you”
He walks in to his friend’s flat and takes of his shoes, standing a bit awkwardly on her living room.
“So… want something to drink?” Nicole says from the kitchen.
“No. I’m fine”
Nicole raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. “I know you won’t be telling me what’s wrong,” She says while dragging Kibum to her purple couch. “But- I’m gonna ask anyway, what’s wrong?”
Kibum smiles meekly. “You guessed right Cole. Just… you know the usual, distract me”
Nicole looks at the other worriedly. “You know Kibum-ah,” she starts, running a hand to Kibum’s dirty blond hair, “It’s bad to keep feelings, it hurts, gives you too much stress…I know because I’ve done it before, if you’re not gonna tell me at least tell someone, okay?”
“Can’t promise that Jung Yongjoo” He mumbles with close eyes, relishing the comfort his friend is giving.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“…I am. Very tired”
“Your eyes are puffy” Nicole points out as she brushes gentle fingers over the boy’s closed eyes.
“Distract me… please”
Nicole bites her lip. “Okay Kibum. Let’s see” She tilts her head, pondering. ”We’re on a vacation now, us KARA I mean. You’re lucky I’m home you know? Or else you’d be outside freezing from the cold”
“And… Hara, you know her relationship with Junhyung? It’s going great!” Nicole says, voice a bit too artificial.
She clears her throat, trying to feign nonchalance. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed by now? Don’t you have any schedules to go to?”
She doesn’t give a chance for the other to answer because she starts rambling about nonsense, things about her, about the 91-line, a dog she saw, anything to keep her friend’s mind occupied.
“And, and we…” Nicole stops abruptly. “Kibum-ah?”
Kibum cries silently, tears brimming on his eyes, soft sobs erupting from his mouth. “Y-you’re not doing-a good job-Nicole” He manages to get out through his soft cries.
Nicole just looks at the other before hugging him tight. “Kibum-ah…I love you, you know that right? Me, Dongwoon, Woohyun-the rest of 91-line and your band mates, Jinki, Taemin, Minho and Jonghyun… especially Jonghyun. You have all of us yeah? You can tell any of us”
“I’m just…exhausted” Kibum murmurs, shifting his legs to further bury himself to Nicole’s warmth.
Nicole always emits a glow that Kibum always sought out for, a motherly and caring aura that always calms him. He appreciates her in many ways, one being not asking and simply giving the needed comfort he needs, unlike Jonghyun who annoys him to no end until he can make Kibum spill. Aside from Jonghyun, Kibum considers Nicole his second best friend.
He sniffs and fists his eyes, sitting up. “Thank you… Cole”
Nicole smiles weakly. “Come on, stand up,” she announces, pulling the other to his feet. “I have that chocolate latte you always harass me for when I come back from LA”
>”<
It’s already 3:38AM. Jonghyun’s eyes are slowly drooping by the time he arrived on Jung Nicole’s apartment. The fifth place he’s looked apparently, for his best friend.
Hours earlier, he was at Beast’s dorm, hoping to find Kibum through Dongwoon when he received an unknown call, from none other than Jung Nicole, the last person Jonghyun would ever think his best friend would go to, telling him Kibum’s sleeping in her house and that he won’t be coming home but will attend the schedule. And frankly, Jonghyun would not have any of that because he just spent hours searching for Kibum and getting all embarrassed in the process (“I thought of all people you’ll know where he is, sunbae-nim” Woohyun had said to him” and “I thought that you were always breathing down Kibum’s neck?” Jinwoon says, with wide eyes), it was like a slap to the face not knowing Kibum like he thought he (and the rest of 91-line) did.
He parks their company’s car, and further snuggles to his brown jacket as he got out, getting really cold. He reaches the second floor and knocked on a few wrong doors (“Oh my god! You’re SHINee’s Jonghyun right? Can I get your autograph?!) before finding Nicole’s flat.
Jonghyun doesn’t get a chance to knock on her door because it was abruptly opened by the owner. “J-Jonghyun? O-oppa?” Nicole says, shocked and visibly cringing as she spews out ‘Oppa’.
Apparrently Jonghyun feels the same discomfort. “Jonghyun would be fine. I’m here to come and get Kibum”
“Obviously, but he’s asleep already and you all have to get up early, I think it would be best not to wake him up”
Jonghyun can’t help but scowl, he’s exhausted and all he wants to do is sleep. “Nicole do you know that I’ve been driving all night, going to other idols’ dorm just to find him?! I-we, need to talk. I know what’s bothering him okay? I just…” he trails off.
Nicole nods sympathetically at him. “I’m not gonna argue with that Jonghyun-ssi and I know that you care for him like no else can but Kibum needs time-he’s, fragile right now. You should try talking to him tomorrow or when the time is right”
“I… okay-fine” Jonghyun knows when to shut up when a point is taken. His learned that a lot from Kibum, being fast as lightning when it comes to snarky comebacks.
“Do you want to come in?”
“I’m fine, I need to sleep...” Jonghyun utters, already spinning on his heal. “And Nicole?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you, I guess” He says, a little awkward.
Nicole flashes a smile. “No problem”
>”<
To say that Jonghyun has a bad headache would be an understatement, because fuck, his head is throbbing from the lack sleep and not being able to eat last night.
He got home at 4AM thanking the gods that Nicole’s apartment was just a few blocks away from their dorm, he flopped head first on his bed, not bothering to change his clothes or brush his teeth; hygiene be damned.
He got approximately twenty minutes and five seconds of sleep, not that he was counting, he’s dead by the time his face hit his pillow; his co-members started getting up, so he didn’t have any other choice when Taemin woke him up.
He already showered and he’s sitting on the kitchen, head buried in his hands, trying to ease the pain.
“Hyung, did you drink some painkillers?” Minho asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He groans in response.
“Was that a yes or a no?”
“Yes!” Jonghyun snaps.
Minho rolls his eyes. “You’re just like Kibum-hyung when he PMS’s like a bitch. Anyways, speaking of him he called Jinki, says sorry and he’ll be going straight to the venue”
True to his word, they saw Kibum on a music show, as stated on their schedule. Kibum's back to his diva attitude, snapping here and there, making snarky comments and such. The others decided to let it be except Jonghyun because Kibum is an open book to him and he knows his best friend is barely holding it together; by the slightly forced laugh, by the stiffness of his posture, by the lack of bite on his comments. Truthfully the members see it but knows better than to pry especially not here while in the verge of their performance.
"Kibum-ah" Jonghyun starts, as they walk through the hallways; on their way to the stage.
Kibum doesn't spare him a glance but he does talk. "Hyung" he says, voice a bit higher than usual. "I know what you're going to say... I'm sorry too, for acting rash last night"
Jonghyun shakes his head, catching up with the younger to walk with him. "It's not that Kibum... look I-"
"SHINee, you're on in five minutes!"
Kibum stops walking, he subtly clenches his fists and clears his throat. "Hyung... Jjong, just drop it okay? I'm fine, really"
It takes every ounce of Kibum's strength to say that straight because he is most definitely not okay; barely holding himself up for their schedules until he can go back to safety confines of his bed covers.
Jonghyun looks at the other's eyes and it speaks nothing short of pleading.
He sighs irritatedly. "Fine... I'm letting this go... for now"
>"<
After a few more activities, they finally make it home, all dead beat tired.
"Jinki-hyung... can I talk to you for a moment?" Jonghyun asks, stopping their leader from going in their dorm.
Jinki raises him eyebrows in anticipation. "What is it?"
Jonghyun hesitates for a second and clears his throat. "Hyung, can you... can you talk to our manager to cancel our schedules for tomorrow, at least Kibum's and mine"
Jinki looks at him quizzically. "What?! Are you high Jonghyun?"
"I know what I'm asking of you is a bit crazy but... it's Kibum, I know you know okay? He's getting worse, I- I can't just stand by and watch anymore okay? I'm worried about him" Jonghyun looks at the other, pleading. "He needs a place where can be himself, a familiar place, to let his feelings out. I wanna take him there as soon as possible"
Jinki holds his forehead by his forefinger and thumb, lightly massaging. "Jonghyun, can't you take him some other time?"
"No. Kibum is... I'm worried okay? I can't- this can't wait alright? His been disoriented earlier, so many mistakes and he just blanks out... Please Hyung? Just tell the manager we caught a cold or something"
Jinki sighs, defeated. "Fine, Jonghyun. Okay but you owe me big time"
"Thank you and don't tell Kibum about this. It's gonna take some kind of miracle for me to take him there, I'll talk to him right now, and we're going"
"And if he doesn't?"
Jonghyun smiles weakly. "I have to make him"
>"<
He goes straight to his bed, not bothering to wash up, and throwing the covers over his head. Kibum's head hurts and his heart is clenching quite painfully from trying to stop and hold back his tears.
He feels himself being poked on his shoulder under the covers. "Kibum?" comes his best friend's voice.
He groans artificially, pretending to be awaken. "What is it Jjong?"
"I'll make this quick okay?"
Kibum throws his covers, tossing them aside. "It's not about this again right?"
"I know we have activities tomorrow but I want to take you to that playground, about halfway away here remember that place?"
Kibum eyes go round from surprise. "What?! Why?"
"I'll tell you on the way"
Kibum snorts. "Like you said, schedules tomorrow. We have no time for that Jjong. Go to sleep"
Jonghyun runs a through his hair. "Fine. But I am going, no matter what it takes and I am not coming back until you come to get me"
Kibum scoffs. "Seriously Jonghyun. You wouldn't"
"You'd be surprised"
>"<
It's around eight in the morning, the sun's rays peaking through the windows when Minho shakes Kibum awake. "Hyung, wake up"
Kibum offers a faint groan in response, and muttering. "I'm up"
He walks slowly to the kitchen, dragging his feet. He blindly reaches for a cup on the cupboard when he notices that Taemin is the only one fresh and ready, sitting on the table while eating a bowl of cereal.
"The others?" He yawns.
"Minho-hyung's dressing up, Jinki-hyung is taking a bath, and Jonghyun- hyung is..."
Kibum shoots the maknae a look, clearly asking for the other to continue and when Taemin avoids the other's look, he drops his cup on the table quite harshly.
"And Jonghyun?" Kibum repeats. He's starting to guess where the latter is, but it just can't be. His best friend wouldn't at a time like this.
"Out" Taemin squeaked.
"Out where?"
"Out there"
Kibum scowls. "You don't want to mess with me when I just woke up. Lee Taemin, where is he?"
"No one knows Kibum" Comes Jinki's calm voice as he wipes his hair dry.
"What do you mean? When did he leave?"
Jinki shrugs. "Around the time we got home, he left. Says, he couldn't convince you out but he's still going and he's not coming back until you get there"
"We have schedules" states Kibum.
Jinki nods, and snatches Taemin's banana milk. "I know"
"Then why aren't you looking for him?" Kibum screeches.
"I'm sorry Kibum. But- he made it clear that you have to go there for him to come back"
Kibum scratches his head in irritation. He couldn't believe that Jonghyun would act without thinking. Who did he think he was? Leaving them all hanging like this and expecting him to get his best friend on that playground. He can't believe that Jonghyun would go through this just to make him spill. That-
"Stubborn bastard" Kibum mutters, angrily. "How can he be so dense?! We are so fucking busy right now with promotions and he just leaves like that?! Of all times! That stupid mother fu-"
"We get the point Hyung" Taemin cuts in.
Kibum glares at the maknae, "He will comeback by himself" And stomps out to the bathroom.
>"<
To say that Kibum was anxious would be an understatement. He was beyond worried; there has been no calls or messages from Jonghyun, their manager had even scolded them for not knowing where had Jonghyun gone; Kibum had kept his mouth shut. Why? Frankly, he doesn't anyone finding about that playground he and Jonghyun had found.
It's raining already, and he found out earlier that Jonghyun had took a train to get there. And Kibum doesn't even remember any sort of shed on that place; he just wishes Jonghyun at least brought an umbrella.
Halfway through a radio show, he pulls their leader outside after a ten-minute break. "Hyung, cover for me alright? I'm going after that jerk, it's already evening and there's no contact from him, I'll check the dorm and if he's not there I'm taking Minho's car to drive there"
Jinki nods, understanding. "Okay" he pulls out Minho's car keys on his back pocket. "Just go straight on the parking lot, he won't be at the dorm, he was precise about not coming back until well, you get him"
"Why is Minho's car keys with you?"
Jinki shrugs. "I knew that sooner or later you'd change your mind. I've already talked to Minho"
"Thank you Hyung"
>"<
It takes five hours by car to get to his destination. by train? three hours and then three hours more by foot. Of course, Kibum chooses the former because it's raining hard already and he doesn't want to walk even though that place is already deprived of civilization, meaning no chance of getting noticed.
Kibum's spends almost the rest of his hours trying to call his best friend, and leaving messages. He's chewing his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. The rain's falling harder and Kibum's worry is eating him up inside.
"Jonghyun! I will kill you!" He shouts, speeding up the gas.
The playground is a special place for him and Jonghyun, they used to go there when they were still trainees. Going there used to be their favorite thing to do after practicing their choreography and straining their voices from singing too much. The place gives them the peace they're looking for, it was serene, abandoned yes, but it gives off that safe feeling like how Nicole gives Kibum that motherly aura.
When they go there, they still sing their hearts out even though their voices are already strained and tired. Because when they sing on that place- there's no judgment, free, no worries of being scolded for not reaching that note or for their voice cracking. In that place, they sing because they want to, because they're free to. Unlike on the studio, they feel suffocated.
It's been years since he last stepped on that playground, and he would've been excited if it weren't for Jonghyun probably freezing his ass off there. He sighs, annoyed.
"Off all places Jjong!"
It's midnight by the time he reaches the place; the rain has reduced to a light pressure, small droplets falling slowly. He takes a deep breath and steps out, keeping the head lights of the car on since it's already dark. He feels home once he takes the first step to the playground, he holds his umbrella tighter, as all those precious memories come back. The beautiful and bad memories both playing inside his head as he walks silently on the muddy grasses, it had grown a lot, almost up to his knees. He couldn't see properly because of the dark but he could smell the faint rust, probably from the iron of the swings or the seesaws. It's been so long, and Kibum could almost picture what this place looked like right now.
He clears his throat. "Jjong?" he call out.
No answer.
"Jonghyun?!" He calls a little louder.
"Hey! Don't play any games alright? Where are you?!" He shouts, voice cracking from the dread starting to form.
He squints his eyes and uses his phone's poor lighting as a flashlight. He spots a figure sitting on one of the swings, head leaning to what seems like the rusted chains that holds the seat.
"Jonghyun?" he asks, incredulously.
He eyes the clothes and it was definitely Jonghyun's. Panic seeps into his heart when the figure doesn't respond. "Shit"
He comes running after it and immediately kneels in front of the other, getting mud all over his pink tight jeans. "Shit Jjong?"
He holds his best friend's forehead and runs a hand to his chocolate brown hair. he was wet, he's clothes were damp and he was burning from fever. And he can feel that he was faintly shivering from the cold.
"Holy... shit Jonghyun? Are you?..." He trails off, trying to get Jonghyun up.
"Come on Jjong, get up"
"You came Kibum-ah" Jonghyun mutters, tiredly.
"You are so stupid, you know if I found you dead," Kibum hauls the other up putting the other's arm around his shoulder and putting his own arm around his best friend's waist "I would've brought you back to life, just so I could kill you again!"
"I needed you to come here..."
They limped back to the car, having a few trips here and there because of the weight Kibum was carrying and the fact that it was dark, the rain was starting to pour a bit harder again. When they make it back to the car, Kibum shoves him right on the back seat and immediately takes off the elder's clothes, he puts on a fresh white shirt he found on the back seat, thankfully it looks clean.
He wipes Jonghyun's wet hair with his own cotton jacket.
"You are so stupid Jjong! So dense" He mutters, angrily.
Jonghyun hums as a response.
"Do you know how worried I was?!"
"Need... you to come here" Jonghyun mumbles, with closed eyes.
When Kibum was done drying his hair, he prepares himself to get out and get the umbrella he dropped near the swings.
"Wait..." Jonghyun mumbles, hand shooting out to grab Kibum's wrist.
"Jonghyun, get some rest first, you're still burning up" He replies, trying to shake off the elder's hold.
"No..." Jonghyun says, voice a bit hoarse and sits up straight, he clears his throat. "We are talking about this right now"
Kibum frowns. "Not this again, Jjong? Please? I am-"
"Unfair" Jonghyun cuts in. "That's what you are... you're unfair to yourself Kibum... Stop doing this to yourself"
Kibum scoffs. "What do you know?"
Jonghyun finally opens his eyes. "Everything alright? I know everything. Kibum why would you ever feel that you're not great? that you're not perfect? Kibum you are Key, the Almighty you know? Why would you-"
"Because I'm not okay!" Kibum shouts, "I'm not perfect! I'm a nuisance! I don't know why you all think that I'm so cool or anything but fuck, Jonghyun! Can't you see? I'm-I'm nothing! There I said it!"
Angry tears are already flowing so hard from Kibum's eyes, and what surprises the younger is that Jonghyun is crying too.
"Kibum..."
"Why did you even take me here?"
"Because you needed it" Jonghyun says, voice leveled. "It's the best place to release everything and leave it behind. Start anew. Not mind anything and ignore everything for now, SHINee, the manager, the fans, just you and me. I thought you did that already, the last time we went here"
Kibum harshly wipes his tears away. "What do you mean?"
Jonghyun sighs. "I'm redundant when I say this, but I know you Kibum, you're still holding on to your old self, the one that thinks he's nothing, he's imperfect and you keep telling yourself that what you show to us and the fans, to everyone in general is just some stupid disguise... Kibum you need to realize that what you are now is you, not a facade, not a cover up, just you... Kibum, people change alright? You need to know that, you're just hurting yourself. Let go."
Kibum looks at the older, and he can't see anything but pure sincerity. "I'm not..." he weakly replies.
"Stop denying it Kibum. Please let it go, you are beautiful and perfect and breathtaking. Kibum, you are amazing. You may think you're not but you are, you're sincere about what you do and you always give your best, and the best part is... you are beautiful inside and out"
"But..."
Jonghyun shakes his head. "No Kibum. I know that some people say you're not what we think you are, that what you're showing is not you but the thing is, fuck what they think alright? Kibum I and we, the members, the staffs, the fans, your friends know you best, you are iridescent inside out Kibum and the important thing is we see that and that's what matters"
Kibm sighs, and cries silently, he let's himself be pulled into a hug. "I'm sorry... so sorry" he sobs.
"It's not your fault Kibum-ah" Jonghyun murmurs, he pulls back and wipes the younger's tears away. "Can I count on you that you believe me now?"
"Why are you so good with words?"
Jonghyun smiles. "I'm just telling the truth here"
Kibum bites his lower lip, and lunges forward kissing the other, short and chaste. It takes a few seconds for Jonghyun's reflexes to kick in but he kisses back.
"Thank you Jjong" He mumbles on to Jonghyun's lips.
>"<
"And Kibum? One more thing..."
"Yeah?"
"I...love you"
Poll The Man Who Can't Be Moved