Awwwhhh~ Key cried T_T. But the kiss scene was ASDSFMSOFNAFAFSSDF<333 *hugs u tighlty* I hate medicine too D:< tastes so bad. LOL Minho tsk tsk...<3 I loved the chapter even though it was short ^^<3 Update soon hun :D
ah! They kissed~! awww. sweeet! wanna know what happens next! I love how you potrayed their relationship! & jinki and his dirty thoughts! update soon bb! I love this~♥♥
This chapter is getting better and better. But I think you should check your chap before you post to make it more neatly. I'm sorry for being so strict with you.
I think this chap make me understand a little about how Onew felt about Key when suddenly Key appeared in front of him like that. But I think you should emphasis the reason that Onew felt Key is really growing up now, not the little boy that Onew considered as his brother anymore. This fic actually has a good but quite complicated plot, so I think the slowly you go with their emotion, the better result you can get.
I think the fic is really good, just some grammatical errors, but it's okay since I'm not a native speaker, and I want to feel more Jinki's emotions.
Sometimes, you don't have to include many actions in a chap, just some would be enough. Mostly when you write in someone's POV, the most important thing is to make reader feel the character's emotions. Because this fic is written in one side POV, I think you should portray more of Jinki's internal feeling, like how he was with Key when a litte, how he felt when he saw Key again, how his feeling changes when Key beside him now, I think you should compare the past and the present feeling. A little flashbacks will do the work.
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But the kiss scene was ASDSFMSOFNAFAFSSDF<333 *hugs u tighlty*
I hate medicine too D:< tastes so bad.
LOL Minho tsk tsk...<3
I loved the chapter even though it was short ^^<3
Update soon hun :D
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thanks for loving thisss...^^
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wanna know what happens next!
I love how you potrayed their relationship!
& jinki and his dirty thoughts!
update soon bb!
I love this~♥♥
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gogo..love this..
grab the pic..and the music so touching..sounds familiar can't figure out where I heard this..
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fufufufufufu..
what the next??? what the next?? *jump jump*
continue it soon..
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I think this chap make me understand a little about how Onew felt about Key when suddenly Key appeared in front of him like that. But I think you should emphasis the reason that Onew felt Key is really growing up now, not the little boy that Onew considered as his brother anymore. This fic actually has a good but quite complicated plot, so I think the slowly you go with their emotion, the better result you can get.
Still, I love this fic :)
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thanks..im trying my best^^
still,i love your comments lol
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Sometimes, you don't have to include many actions in a chap, just some would be enough. Mostly when you write in someone's POV, the most important thing is to make reader feel the character's emotions. Because this fic is written in one side POV, I think you should portray more of Jinki's internal feeling, like how he was with Key when a litte, how he felt when he saw Key again, how his feeling changes when Key beside him now, I think you should compare the past and the present feeling. A little flashbacks will do the work.
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can you just wait for me to write thos things???
hhee..its just...difficult...-__-
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