OMG this is just like...pure win! ITS SO CUTE!~ Especially the ending, that was my fav part. I love it when someone says they look like an omma and appa together. Hope you update soon <3
Haha, poor Jinki, I hope he won't feel sex-deprived really soon. But who can resist somebody that hugged you tighly, beatiful and wearing sexy clothes at the same time.
The 2 min is quite rush, but it's okay. I think you should slow down your plot a little. Keep concentrating in the main pairing, because when you want to make a fic with 2 main pairings, it should have a different situation for 2 pairings, and this sometimes make the fic so complicated. But it's okay. Your fic is improving, and I love the hard-working people. Just pay more attention to the character's emotion. And if you write in Onew's POV, I think you should keep his attention to Key, because hardly anyone in love pays attention to anything else.
And more importantly, each character should have a different characteristic, Jinki should have something that make him different from Minho, and Key, Taemin, Minho, too. Hwaiting!
umm,,maybe the 2min part quite rush but i dunno i just want to make it ..fast..you noe like they got love poison..lol next part i will try to focus on onkey,,,hueee...i hope i can..x(( i thought i made their characteristic different already,,but well,,i just only made this onew pov,,so yeah.. but,,thank you,, i LOVE YOUR COMMENTSS..it made me know what should i do next,,*smooch
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ITS SO CUTE!~
Especially the ending, that was my fav part.
I love it when someone says they look like an omma and appa together.
Hope you update soon <3
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The 2 min is quite rush, but it's okay. I think you should slow down your plot a little. Keep concentrating in the main pairing, because when you want to make a fic with 2 main pairings, it should have a different situation for 2 pairings, and this sometimes make the fic so complicated. But it's okay. Your fic is improving, and I love the hard-working people. Just pay more attention to the character's emotion. And if you write in Onew's POV, I think you should keep his attention to Key, because hardly anyone in love pays attention to anything else.
And more importantly, each character should have a different characteristic, Jinki should have something that make him different from Minho, and Key, Taemin, Minho, too. Hwaiting!
Reply
next part i will try to focus on onkey,,,hueee...i hope i can..x((
i thought i made their characteristic different already,,but well,,i just only made this onew pov,,so yeah..
but,,thank you,, i LOVE YOUR COMMENTSS..it made me know what should i do next,,*smooch
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update soon
onkey always be a good parent to taeminnie
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thank you thank you so much for liking it..*sobs
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please update soon..
want read what happen next..
haha..
jinki so confuse..
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haha,,hope it won't take too long when i post the next chapter..^^
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Jinki is freaking out ..roflmao!! xD
& Kibum ... like he dosent care!!
haah please update soon ne??! ^^
<333
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