SSS 2010: for disinfected
For: disinfected
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Warmth
Pairing: Jonghyun/Onew
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4,432
Summary: Jinki has been watching Jonghyun for a very long time.
Jinki has been watching Jonghyun for a very long time. He was close when Jonghyun went to noraebang for the first time, accompanied by friends that, all in all, barely hit an adult’s shoulders and where, by the first note of the first song - a ballad chosen by one of the girls- , he realized he had a powerful voice he just loved to use. Jinki also saw Jonghyun, with some more years to him but few more centimeters, go against his mother’s wishes and, in a torrent of screams and cruel promises, find himself outside home with a dark briefcase full of his belongings, as full as his heart was with dreams. Because Jonghyun was going to be a singer, and if that meant dropping out of school and running towards his goal, he was going to do it.
Jinki was also close by when Jonghyun found a modest apartment in the suburbs, where the living room was, at the same time, a bedroom and a kitchen and where the light only came through by a small window hidden behind the sofa where he slept every afternoon. His nights were occupied by trips to the most varied clubhouses in problematic areas of the city, where the only lights visible were the green and red tones that tinted the faces of the drunk teenagers that spent their lives in the nocturne life. But Jonghyun didn’t care one bit, because there, there he could sing and be heard, and that was enough for him to be happy.
Every single day, Jinki observes Jonghyun, keeping that usual distance between them, even though, according to his job’s rules, Jonghyun isn’t able to see him. In spite of that, Jinki got used to that series of steps that separated him from his work subject and keeping it gives him, somehow, a sense of familiarity and comfort. Jonghyun sleeps on his old couch, mouth slightly open and snoring lightly, some brown hairs moving away from his face when he breathes out, and Jinki sees him from above, safe in his usual spot, legs crossed under him.
When, some hours later, Jonghyun rolls from the couch, falling with a thud on the cold floor of his apartment, he doesn’t know that Jinki, mere moments before, had slowed down his descent with a movement of his hands, so that Jonghyun wouldn’t hit his nose on the ground, probably breaking it in the process, and, instead, feel only a light pain in his cheek. Jinki sighs.
If only he were a better guardian angel, there wouldn’t have been any fall in the first place.
--
Jonghyun leaves the last club of the dawn, pulling his jacket close against him and breathing against his frozen hands as he walks down the dimly lit street. As always, he leaves alone after saying goodbye to the band that had accompanied him that night, humming the last song that had resounded in the enclosure to distract himself from the cold of the end of October. Jinki follows him with his eyes from a cloud, till he’s forced to get up when Jonghyun turns the corner right below him. Then, opening his white wings against the dark background of the sky, he takes flight right after Jonghyun.
Jinki knows this is the kind of job that requires patience and attention, but, more than that, it requires great proximity with the human world. And, even if he won’t admit it, not even to himself, Jinki misses that world, where the only thing that could be in the clouds was his head. So Jinki protects Jonghyun, protecting at the same time that small link that keeps him sane.
--
It happens suddenly. Jonghyun knows his job has nothing of stable, but he still can’t help but widen his eyes at what he’s hearing. From a point onwards, his ears seem to have stopped working, his mind being turned quickly and dryly. Losing his job like that didn’t help at all, with the way those little debts were starting to pile up on his worktop as the weeks went by, and much less with the payment of the rent of the apartment he lives in in just a few days.
Jonghyun closes the door of the club behind him, walking in a faster and faster step and when he notices it, he’s running towards the apartment, his breathing forming second-long mists around his cheeks. Jinki follows him, a sheer blurry shadow below him, an inscrutable expression on his face. When Jonghyun throws his house keys on top of the microwave, sliding down the frozen couch as he tries to catch his breath, he can’t help the interminable tears that flow down his face, incapable of stopping the sobs that crawl up his throat.
“Mom…” Jonghyun cries softly, rocking back and forth. Jinki intertwines his hands nervously, lost at what he should do. Guardian angels can’t do much to alter completely someone’s destiny. They’re around to keep watch on their humans, but can only avoid or minimize accidents, keeping the physical integrity of those they protect. There are, however, more qualified guardian angels that have permission to unravel the threads of fate of some humans. Jinki sighs, running his hand through his hair. If only he were like Minho, who was ranked highest at his former school, maybe he could do something more than heat up Jonghyun’s apartment, since he, in his weeping, didn’t turn on the heater on that cold winter.
“Jeez, stop looking so pitiful.”
Jinki almost falls from the cloud he had landed on, using his wings to find his equilibrium again in time. His eyes become huge when he takes in his new companion.
“S-Sir!” he stutters, bowing till his nose is close to his feet. He wins a pinch right behind his neck, where his brown hair starts.
“Stand up, I gotta talk to you!” Jinki raises his eyes till he’s almost at the same level as this boy who had appeared unexpectedly. As he massages his neck, almost certain he’ll have a purple spot there later, Jinki notices his sweet, almost feminine features. In contrast with Jinki, he doesn’t have white wings sticking out of his back, sporting a mundane appearance instead, with long red hair in an elegant ponytail and a slender figure. His aura, however, makes it evident he’s not simply human. It’s undeniable that he has a strong, enchanting aura, and Jinki can’t take his eyes off the black tattoo-like rays that adorn his forehead and cheek.
“I know we’ve never seen each other that much personally, but you don’t have to stare at me like that,” the boy says, crossing his arms on his chest. Jinki brings his hands forwards hurriedly, intertwining them as he looks at his feet.
“Yes, si-I mean, God,” he babbles, chewing on his lower lip.
“Oh please, call me Taemin,” he answers, his eyes finally warming up for a moment. It goes away quickly, his expression turning into a preoccupied one as his dark eyes focus on Jinki’s human, who, meanwhile, had fallen asleep nuzzled on a blanket. Jinki sighs, moving his fingers and making it move by a few centimeters, just enough to cover Jonghyun’s feet again.
“Seems like this isn’t going too well, Jinki,” Taemin says, moving closer to the edge of the cloud to inspect Jonghyun better. Jinki shrinks with these words, having nothing to say back. “I mean, you were never a great guardian angel to begin with. Do you remember when, in the practical exam, instead of extinguishing the fire, you spread it to Minho’s tunic? Ah, I’ll never forget his face.”
Jinki forces a smile as he remembers that disastrous exam. He was too nervous at the time, the eyes of every single examiner on him, including Taemin, an intrepid air until Jinki, by turning his hands to the wrong side, had triggered that accident that tore off Minho’s poker face and, at the same time, filled the room with laughter. Needless to say, Jinki didn’t pass his first time.
“Yah, I’m talking here.” Taemin moves his hands in front of Jinki so he can win his total attention again. Taemin sighs as he gets an oblivious look back. “Jinki, you have to help your human and, right now, I only see one solution. Fly with me.
Jinki barely has time to register Taemin’s low flight before he automatically opens his wings and follows him. Contrary to what he thought, Taemin doesn’t stop in front of Jonghyun’s window, instead stopping in front of the neighbor’s, a vacant apartment peeking through the glass. Taemin opens the rusty window with a soft movement, landing quietly on the dust covered floor, followed by Jinki, who lands with a loud thud. Taemin then holds him by his shoulders, turning Jinki to face him.
“Look at me,” Taemin orders and Jinki swears he sees his eyes go lighter for a second. At that moment, Jinki feels something odd right at his navel, as if a vortex had been opened inside of him, changing him completely. Jinki looks at the cracked mirror behind Taemin and, to his horror, he can see his reflection start taking shape, his huge wings shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, till Jinki looks like nothing more than a meek human. He wants to scream his lungs out, but nothing comes out of his parted lips and, when he runs a hand through his back, he only finds two small bumps where his wings were supposed to start.
“Sir, what’s happening? I-.“ Jinki looks at Taemin terrified without adding anything else.
“Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to see me and I’ll come to check up on you. But listen, right now, what that kid needs the most is a friend and, if you can help with that, then you will.” Taemin punctuates his last sentence with a poke to Jinki’s chest. “You’ve been a human before, just follow your instincts.”
“Yes, I was a human before, but that was centuries ago! Too much has changed since then,” Jinki replies, surprise still daubed across his face. He can feel his heartbeat fast against his chest. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“It won’t last forever. As soon as that kid’s life goes back to normal, you’ll be a guardian angel again.” Taemin pats him on the shoulder, turning again towards the window. “Ah, I’ll send some stuff in the morning. This place seriously needs a new decor.”
And with this, Taemin jumps, appearing again seconds later soaring against the dark blue of the nocturne sky. Jinki stares at the open window, his mouth still agape.
--
Jinki wakes up with the sunrays falling on his closed eyelids and he grimaces, turning to the opposite side, his cheek meeting the wooden floor. The events of the past night then flash across his eyes and Jinki opens them in an outburst, sitting with his legs crossed below him. He then reaches for his back, his hands roaming through the spots where his wings used to be at and he exhales as he realizes it wasn’t all a dream.
“I’m screwed,” he murmurs to himself, standing up and walking towards the bathroom. His back cracks and he feels a pain he hasn’t felt in dozens of years. It’s going to be a long, long day.
When Jinki finally opens the entrance door, he’s welcomed by a huge amount of boxes piled one on top of the other, as well as the most varied pieces of furniture. He looks at everything for some seconds, his eyes turning into small slits as he realizes he’ll have to transport everything inside on his own. If angels could swear, he’d be doing that right now.
Jinki is busy staring at the couch, the piece of furniture that is closest to him, just as if he looked at it long enough, it’d fly right inside his apartment, landing smoothly on an empty spot in the living room. He still tries to lift it with a subtle movement of his hand, but nothing happens, as he expected. He’s only human now, magic tricks all forgotten. He had just grabbed the first box when he hears the sound of approaching steps, coming surely from the stairs that lead to corridor of that last floor.
Jinki drops the box on his feet when he sees it’s Jonghyun that’s arriving.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jonghyun asks as he sees Jinki jumping with one foot risen in the air, face contorted in pain. He nods, biting his lower lip with strength. So much for a nice first impression. “I’m sorry if I startled you.”
“It’s okay,” Jinki manages to say in between puffs of air. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to show up.”
Jonghyun nods slowly, starting to go through his key to go into his home again. As he is about to beyond the threshold of the door, he looks back and sees Jinki still glaring at the boxes. He hesitates, but then makes a 180 degrees turn, walking till the end of the hallway.
“Can I help you?” he asks and Jinki meets his brown eyes at mere centimeters of his face. He gulps.
“Hum, sure. If it’s not too much trouble, I mean,” he starts, waving both hands in a defensive stance. Jonghyun laughs.
“Not at all. Gotta be nice to our neighbors, after all.” He holds his hand forwards. “I’m-“
“Kim Jonghyun,” they both say at the same time and Jinki mentally kicks himself, shaking Jonghyun’s hand a little bit too harshly.
“I asked the landlord about who lived in the same floor. I hope you don’t mind,” he manages to utter. Jonghyun doesn’t seem to think anything of it as he smiles and Jinki lets some of his tension part. Jonghyun seems to be waiting for something and Jinki remembers he still hasn’t introduced himself. “I’m Lee Jinki.”
“Nice to meet you, Jinki-ssi.”
--
The pair spends the entire morning and part of the afternoon putting everything in place, without any major incidents apart from the puzzled look on Jinki’s face as he was trying to figure out how to plug a television, or when he had to ask which one of the buttons lit the stove. Jonghyun seemed to not notice those little details that any other person would count as odd and Jinki is only thankful for his naïve personality.
“I think-I think we’re all done,” Jinki says when he throws the last carton box on top of the pile of stuff to throw out later. Jonghyun looks around, a satisfied smile on his lips.
“It looks much more welcoming than mine, actually. Your house, that is,” Jonghyun says without looking at Jinki, playing with some bubble wrap forgotten on top of the table. Jinki interlaces his fingers as he remembers his mission and Taemin.
“You can drop by anytime you want,” he blurts out tentatively, smiling softly. “It’s not like I’ll be busy or anything.”
“Tell me about it,” Jonghyun answers with a slight tone of sadness in his voice. Jinki blinks.
“Is there anything wrong?” he asks, coming closer to Jonghyun. He finally looks at Jinki.
“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
--
It’s almost scary how fast they become close. Jinki had decided to escape the truth a little and tell Jonghyun they were both the same age, so they could talk comfortably to each other, even though Jinki was technically a year older than the other boy. Soon Jinki also finds out Jonghyun is an adept of skinship, even going as far as putting his arm around his waist while they walk about the city in broad daylight. That habit intensifies when Jonghyun has a little too much alcohol in his system than he’s used to, as Jinki comes to realize after they spend almost a whole night just with soju, video games and each other for company. Jinki also learns Jonghyun just can’t shut up meanwhile.
“But Jinki-yah...” Jonghyun’s voice reaches the other boy’s ears a little more slurred than usual. “How come you had never played before? Where did you come from again? How come there wasn’t anything like this over there? How did you live, Jinki-yah?”
Jinki just blinks as a response to that storm of questions, exploding the head of Jonghyun’s player with a touch of his fingers. He swears and Jinki smiles. One of the times when Jonghyun had slept over at his apartment, he’d had to explain how the portable computer he brought under his arm worked to the other boy. When Jonghyun had asked him how it was possible he’d never touched a computer in his life, Jinki panicked and said he was foreign. For some reason, Jonghyun's mouth formed a round ‘o’ and, from then onwards, Jinki’s ignorance of the modern world was always explained by the fact he came from some exotic, faraway country.
“I think I’m good at this,” Jinki says simply, before he gets up to grab more snacks; he can see Jonghyun’s pout all the way from the kitchen. Smiling, Jinki returns to the living room, only to find Jonghyun laying on the floor, eyes trained on the white ceiling.
“I guess I really am a good for nothing, just like my mom said,” Jonghyun whispers, closing his tired eyes. Jinki goes back to the spot he was occupying in the couch before, unsure of what to say.
“Why do you say that, Jjong?” He scoffs, turning and using his arms as a new support for his head.
“I ran away from home, you know. When I was younger,” he confesses and Jinki tries to react as if he had only found out about that now. He opts for staying silent. “I wanted to be a singer so badly I just blindly ran away. I had the confidence I had it in me to succeed, but now…” He sighs. “Now I’m not so sure. I mean, look at me. I’m jobless and here I am playing games till dawn on a Wednesday night.”
“I think that’s enough soju for today,” Jinki says gently after a while, taking Jonghyun’s glass and putting it right next to him. They stay in silence, both seemingly lost in thought. Jinki is the first one to break it, hands twitching in his lap. “For the record, I don’t think you’re useless.”
Jonghyun hisses. “What would you know? We’ve known each other for like a couple of months.”
“Jjong, how drunk are you, really?” Jonghyun takes his hands to his temples before replying.
“Pretty fucking drunk, I’m sure.” Jinki gulps.
“Then yes, I do know.” Jinki looks at Jonghyun, his expression letting nothing on as Jonghyun scrutinizes his face without a word. “I know much more about you than you think. I know you’ve spent sleepless nights when you ran away, but still, you chased after your dream. And I also know that nothing makes you happier than being on stage. You only have to get your confidence back, that’s all.”
There’s quietness after these words, as Jonghyun is apparently trying to process everything Jinki has just told him. He grins some seconds later, and Jinki notices it’s the first time he sees Jonghyun’s real smile.
“You’re so wise, Jinki-yah,” he says, just before he closes his eyes and his head topples on the floor.
The next day, Jinki wakes up with Jonghyun snuggled against his lap and a massive headache.
--
“Hey, will you help me find a new job?”
A beam.
“Of course, Jjong.”
--
It’s almost the end of December when Jonghyun finally finds a new clubhouse to sing in. He calls Jinki as soon as he leaves the closed building, already used to having to make about three calls before Jinki picks up, since he never remembers which one of the buttons is the one he has to press. Jinki can’t hold his excitement as he shouts congratulations over and over again, laughing loudly at the same rhythm as Jonghyun.
Jinki then adjusts his schedule, accompanying Jonghyun during the night many times and sleeping during the morning to recover those lost hours of sleep. It’s one of those nights and Jinki is leaning against the bar, waiting for Jonghyun to step onto the stage while drinking a soda; when Jonghyun had seen him moments before and grasped what Jinki was sipping on, he couldn’t help but ruffle Jinki’s hair while calling him a loser. Jinki scoffs as he remembers that scene, but, at the same time, he tries to figure out why he had blushed so hard due to such an innocent gesture.
His thoughts are cut by the riffs of an acoustic guitar and Jinki turns to the stage, straw still firm between his lips. And then he notices Jonghyun, closed eyelids as he rests his head against the microphone stand. Before he starts singing, the boy gazes at Jinki and smiles.
He had never quite noticed just how beautiful Jonghyun is.
--
“Ah, it’s so cold today.” Jonghyun takes Jinki’s fluffy blanket, snuggling on it just like a cat, but looking more like a little puppy as he uncovers his eyes only, sighing contently. Jinki stifles a giggle, covering his mouth with the tea mug he has in his hand. Jonghyun raises an eyebrow, curiosity plastered across his face.
“It’s nothing. You just look cute like that. Like a little kid,” Jinki says, before he sits right next to this big kid, sliding into the blanket with a satisfied sigh. He focuses on some action movie that’s on television that instant until he notices Jonghyun still staring at him, the cloth long gone from his face. “What now?”
“I don’t want you to think of me as a kid,” Jonghyun mumbles, taking the remote from Jinki’s hand and flipping absently through the channels, stopping in an encoded one and sulking right afterwards. Jinki gets distracted with the way the light coming from the screen reflects on Jonghyun’s face, emphasizing his strong jawline. Suddenly, Jonghyun's hands leave their hidden place and he puts one of them right above Jinki, the other removing the tea mug from Jinki’s hand, covering it shakily afterwards. He realizes Jonghyun’s hand is cold against his own and, for a fraction of a second, he wants to move his fingers in that particular way, creating a welcoming warmth for him. Said thought quickly jumps out of the window as Jinki remembers the shape he’s in.
“What is that you’re holding, Jjong?” Jinki then asks, diverting his eyes above. Jonghyun has what it seems to be some sort of plant safe between his fingers and Jinki glances at him again curiously.
“It’s mistletoe, Jinki-yah. It’s-Don’t tell me you don’t know what this is for either.” When Jinki shakes his head almost imperceptibly, Jonghyun lowers his arm, letting a muffled, almost exasperated laugh leave his lips. His eyes turn again to Jinki. “You’re an idiot, did you know that?”
And just like that, Jonghyun’s lips are on Jinki’s and, as he forgets how to breathe properly, Jinki realizes that oh, so that’s why. His mind buzzes, his heart pumps in his chest, his cheeks burn, but when Jonghyun distances himself for a moment, Jinki murmurs a soft “no” and pulls him again against him. He can feel Jonghyun’s lips lift up in a smile and he hums into the kiss, nibbling softly on Jinki’s lower lip. Jonghyun’s hands are starting to roam up his back and Jinki is about to open his mouth to let Jonghyun in when he feels a finger tapping his shoulder.
He almost falls flat on his face.
Jinki realizes Taemin stopped time by the way everything is frozen around him, small particles that look like dust hovering about the cold air of the living room. It’s then that Jinki grasps what he’s doing and takes his hand to his mouth.
“I see you’re having fun,” Taemin says in a low tone, cocking his head to the side. Jinki opens his mouth to answer something, anything, but the truth is he knows this wasn’t what the mission was about. To help Jonghyun, yes, but not fall for him in the process.
“I’m sorry,” is all he manages to blurt out, eyes trained on the floor. He hears a sigh leave Taemin’s lips and, by the corner of his eyes, he watches as Taemin positions himself right in front of Jonghyun, still immobile, and leans his head to the side. A second later, Taemin glances at Jinki, a warm glint in his eyes.
“Do you really like him?” he asks bluntly and laughs softly when Jinki replies that yes, he does, very much in fact, blushing as he realizes just how quickly he had said those words. “Ah, Kibum is going to kill me. Do you know how much paperwork I have to go through so you can stay with your human?”
Jinki only registers the last part of that sentence, getting closer to Taemin reflexively. “I can stay with him?”
“Silly Jinki, I’m God. The more love there’s here on Earth, the happier I am.” He waves his hands dismissively. “I only stopped you because his hands were getting dangerously close to your wing bumps. They’re still there, right?” Jinki feels his cheeks start to burn due to embarrassment as he nods. Taemin then stops staring at Jonghyun, leaning into Jinki as he murmurs, “So, I take it that you want to stay, right?”
“Yes, I do,” Jinki answers, stealing a glance at Jonghyun. He can’t help but smile at how his eyes are still closed, neck in an awkward angle. With those words, Taemin straightens up and walks over to the window, climbing out of it and flipping a leg to the other side. He turns to regard Jinki.
“Fine, then. You’ve completed your mission, anyway.”
And then Jinki feels as if two arms had pushed him in Jonghyun’s direction, keeping him in the same position he was at before that stop in time. A tickling sensation runs all along his back and he can sense the changes taking place as dust-like grains soar right above his hands, vanishing as a warm breeze blows quickly all around him. Before he knows it, Jonghyun’s eyes are slowly opening and he smiles, oblivious to all that has happened.
“Merry Christmas, Jinki-yah,” he says, bumping his nose against the other boy’s, mistletoe still firm in his hand. Jinki smiles and leans in for another kiss.
He can definitely get used to being human again.
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Warmth
Pairing: Jonghyun/Onew
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4,432
Summary: Jinki has been watching Jonghyun for a very long time.
Jinki has been watching Jonghyun for a very long time. He was close when Jonghyun went to noraebang for the first time, accompanied by friends that, all in all, barely hit an adult’s shoulders and where, by the first note of the first song - a ballad chosen by one of the girls- , he realized he had a powerful voice he just loved to use. Jinki also saw Jonghyun, with some more years to him but few more centimeters, go against his mother’s wishes and, in a torrent of screams and cruel promises, find himself outside home with a dark briefcase full of his belongings, as full as his heart was with dreams. Because Jonghyun was going to be a singer, and if that meant dropping out of school and running towards his goal, he was going to do it.
Jinki was also close by when Jonghyun found a modest apartment in the suburbs, where the living room was, at the same time, a bedroom and a kitchen and where the light only came through by a small window hidden behind the sofa where he slept every afternoon. His nights were occupied by trips to the most varied clubhouses in problematic areas of the city, where the only lights visible were the green and red tones that tinted the faces of the drunk teenagers that spent their lives in the nocturne life. But Jonghyun didn’t care one bit, because there, there he could sing and be heard, and that was enough for him to be happy.
Every single day, Jinki observes Jonghyun, keeping that usual distance between them, even though, according to his job’s rules, Jonghyun isn’t able to see him. In spite of that, Jinki got used to that series of steps that separated him from his work subject and keeping it gives him, somehow, a sense of familiarity and comfort. Jonghyun sleeps on his old couch, mouth slightly open and snoring lightly, some brown hairs moving away from his face when he breathes out, and Jinki sees him from above, safe in his usual spot, legs crossed under him.
When, some hours later, Jonghyun rolls from the couch, falling with a thud on the cold floor of his apartment, he doesn’t know that Jinki, mere moments before, had slowed down his descent with a movement of his hands, so that Jonghyun wouldn’t hit his nose on the ground, probably breaking it in the process, and, instead, feel only a light pain in his cheek. Jinki sighs.
If only he were a better guardian angel, there wouldn’t have been any fall in the first place.
--
Jonghyun leaves the last club of the dawn, pulling his jacket close against him and breathing against his frozen hands as he walks down the dimly lit street. As always, he leaves alone after saying goodbye to the band that had accompanied him that night, humming the last song that had resounded in the enclosure to distract himself from the cold of the end of October. Jinki follows him with his eyes from a cloud, till he’s forced to get up when Jonghyun turns the corner right below him. Then, opening his white wings against the dark background of the sky, he takes flight right after Jonghyun.
Jinki knows this is the kind of job that requires patience and attention, but, more than that, it requires great proximity with the human world. And, even if he won’t admit it, not even to himself, Jinki misses that world, where the only thing that could be in the clouds was his head. So Jinki protects Jonghyun, protecting at the same time that small link that keeps him sane.
--
It happens suddenly. Jonghyun knows his job has nothing of stable, but he still can’t help but widen his eyes at what he’s hearing. From a point onwards, his ears seem to have stopped working, his mind being turned quickly and dryly. Losing his job like that didn’t help at all, with the way those little debts were starting to pile up on his worktop as the weeks went by, and much less with the payment of the rent of the apartment he lives in in just a few days.
Jonghyun closes the door of the club behind him, walking in a faster and faster step and when he notices it, he’s running towards the apartment, his breathing forming second-long mists around his cheeks. Jinki follows him, a sheer blurry shadow below him, an inscrutable expression on his face. When Jonghyun throws his house keys on top of the microwave, sliding down the frozen couch as he tries to catch his breath, he can’t help the interminable tears that flow down his face, incapable of stopping the sobs that crawl up his throat.
“Mom…” Jonghyun cries softly, rocking back and forth. Jinki intertwines his hands nervously, lost at what he should do. Guardian angels can’t do much to alter completely someone’s destiny. They’re around to keep watch on their humans, but can only avoid or minimize accidents, keeping the physical integrity of those they protect. There are, however, more qualified guardian angels that have permission to unravel the threads of fate of some humans. Jinki sighs, running his hand through his hair. If only he were like Minho, who was ranked highest at his former school, maybe he could do something more than heat up Jonghyun’s apartment, since he, in his weeping, didn’t turn on the heater on that cold winter.
“Jeez, stop looking so pitiful.”
Jinki almost falls from the cloud he had landed on, using his wings to find his equilibrium again in time. His eyes become huge when he takes in his new companion.
“S-Sir!” he stutters, bowing till his nose is close to his feet. He wins a pinch right behind his neck, where his brown hair starts.
“Stand up, I gotta talk to you!” Jinki raises his eyes till he’s almost at the same level as this boy who had appeared unexpectedly. As he massages his neck, almost certain he’ll have a purple spot there later, Jinki notices his sweet, almost feminine features. In contrast with Jinki, he doesn’t have white wings sticking out of his back, sporting a mundane appearance instead, with long red hair in an elegant ponytail and a slender figure. His aura, however, makes it evident he’s not simply human. It’s undeniable that he has a strong, enchanting aura, and Jinki can’t take his eyes off the black tattoo-like rays that adorn his forehead and cheek.
“I know we’ve never seen each other that much personally, but you don’t have to stare at me like that,” the boy says, crossing his arms on his chest. Jinki brings his hands forwards hurriedly, intertwining them as he looks at his feet.
“Yes, si-I mean, God,” he babbles, chewing on his lower lip.
“Oh please, call me Taemin,” he answers, his eyes finally warming up for a moment. It goes away quickly, his expression turning into a preoccupied one as his dark eyes focus on Jinki’s human, who, meanwhile, had fallen asleep nuzzled on a blanket. Jinki sighs, moving his fingers and making it move by a few centimeters, just enough to cover Jonghyun’s feet again.
“Seems like this isn’t going too well, Jinki,” Taemin says, moving closer to the edge of the cloud to inspect Jonghyun better. Jinki shrinks with these words, having nothing to say back. “I mean, you were never a great guardian angel to begin with. Do you remember when, in the practical exam, instead of extinguishing the fire, you spread it to Minho’s tunic? Ah, I’ll never forget his face.”
Jinki forces a smile as he remembers that disastrous exam. He was too nervous at the time, the eyes of every single examiner on him, including Taemin, an intrepid air until Jinki, by turning his hands to the wrong side, had triggered that accident that tore off Minho’s poker face and, at the same time, filled the room with laughter. Needless to say, Jinki didn’t pass his first time.
“Yah, I’m talking here.” Taemin moves his hands in front of Jinki so he can win his total attention again. Taemin sighs as he gets an oblivious look back. “Jinki, you have to help your human and, right now, I only see one solution. Fly with me.
Jinki barely has time to register Taemin’s low flight before he automatically opens his wings and follows him. Contrary to what he thought, Taemin doesn’t stop in front of Jonghyun’s window, instead stopping in front of the neighbor’s, a vacant apartment peeking through the glass. Taemin opens the rusty window with a soft movement, landing quietly on the dust covered floor, followed by Jinki, who lands with a loud thud. Taemin then holds him by his shoulders, turning Jinki to face him.
“Look at me,” Taemin orders and Jinki swears he sees his eyes go lighter for a second. At that moment, Jinki feels something odd right at his navel, as if a vortex had been opened inside of him, changing him completely. Jinki looks at the cracked mirror behind Taemin and, to his horror, he can see his reflection start taking shape, his huge wings shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, till Jinki looks like nothing more than a meek human. He wants to scream his lungs out, but nothing comes out of his parted lips and, when he runs a hand through his back, he only finds two small bumps where his wings were supposed to start.
“Sir, what’s happening? I-.“ Jinki looks at Taemin terrified without adding anything else.
“Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to see me and I’ll come to check up on you. But listen, right now, what that kid needs the most is a friend and, if you can help with that, then you will.” Taemin punctuates his last sentence with a poke to Jinki’s chest. “You’ve been a human before, just follow your instincts.”
“Yes, I was a human before, but that was centuries ago! Too much has changed since then,” Jinki replies, surprise still daubed across his face. He can feel his heartbeat fast against his chest. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“It won’t last forever. As soon as that kid’s life goes back to normal, you’ll be a guardian angel again.” Taemin pats him on the shoulder, turning again towards the window. “Ah, I’ll send some stuff in the morning. This place seriously needs a new decor.”
And with this, Taemin jumps, appearing again seconds later soaring against the dark blue of the nocturne sky. Jinki stares at the open window, his mouth still agape.
--
Jinki wakes up with the sunrays falling on his closed eyelids and he grimaces, turning to the opposite side, his cheek meeting the wooden floor. The events of the past night then flash across his eyes and Jinki opens them in an outburst, sitting with his legs crossed below him. He then reaches for his back, his hands roaming through the spots where his wings used to be at and he exhales as he realizes it wasn’t all a dream.
“I’m screwed,” he murmurs to himself, standing up and walking towards the bathroom. His back cracks and he feels a pain he hasn’t felt in dozens of years. It’s going to be a long, long day.
When Jinki finally opens the entrance door, he’s welcomed by a huge amount of boxes piled one on top of the other, as well as the most varied pieces of furniture. He looks at everything for some seconds, his eyes turning into small slits as he realizes he’ll have to transport everything inside on his own. If angels could swear, he’d be doing that right now.
Jinki is busy staring at the couch, the piece of furniture that is closest to him, just as if he looked at it long enough, it’d fly right inside his apartment, landing smoothly on an empty spot in the living room. He still tries to lift it with a subtle movement of his hand, but nothing happens, as he expected. He’s only human now, magic tricks all forgotten. He had just grabbed the first box when he hears the sound of approaching steps, coming surely from the stairs that lead to corridor of that last floor.
Jinki drops the box on his feet when he sees it’s Jonghyun that’s arriving.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jonghyun asks as he sees Jinki jumping with one foot risen in the air, face contorted in pain. He nods, biting his lower lip with strength. So much for a nice first impression. “I’m sorry if I startled you.”
“It’s okay,” Jinki manages to say in between puffs of air. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to show up.”
Jonghyun nods slowly, starting to go through his key to go into his home again. As he is about to beyond the threshold of the door, he looks back and sees Jinki still glaring at the boxes. He hesitates, but then makes a 180 degrees turn, walking till the end of the hallway.
“Can I help you?” he asks and Jinki meets his brown eyes at mere centimeters of his face. He gulps.
“Hum, sure. If it’s not too much trouble, I mean,” he starts, waving both hands in a defensive stance. Jonghyun laughs.
“Not at all. Gotta be nice to our neighbors, after all.” He holds his hand forwards. “I’m-“
“Kim Jonghyun,” they both say at the same time and Jinki mentally kicks himself, shaking Jonghyun’s hand a little bit too harshly.
“I asked the landlord about who lived in the same floor. I hope you don’t mind,” he manages to utter. Jonghyun doesn’t seem to think anything of it as he smiles and Jinki lets some of his tension part. Jonghyun seems to be waiting for something and Jinki remembers he still hasn’t introduced himself. “I’m Lee Jinki.”
“Nice to meet you, Jinki-ssi.”
--
The pair spends the entire morning and part of the afternoon putting everything in place, without any major incidents apart from the puzzled look on Jinki’s face as he was trying to figure out how to plug a television, or when he had to ask which one of the buttons lit the stove. Jonghyun seemed to not notice those little details that any other person would count as odd and Jinki is only thankful for his naïve personality.
“I think-I think we’re all done,” Jinki says when he throws the last carton box on top of the pile of stuff to throw out later. Jonghyun looks around, a satisfied smile on his lips.
“It looks much more welcoming than mine, actually. Your house, that is,” Jonghyun says without looking at Jinki, playing with some bubble wrap forgotten on top of the table. Jinki interlaces his fingers as he remembers his mission and Taemin.
“You can drop by anytime you want,” he blurts out tentatively, smiling softly. “It’s not like I’ll be busy or anything.”
“Tell me about it,” Jonghyun answers with a slight tone of sadness in his voice. Jinki blinks.
“Is there anything wrong?” he asks, coming closer to Jonghyun. He finally looks at Jinki.
“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
--
It’s almost scary how fast they become close. Jinki had decided to escape the truth a little and tell Jonghyun they were both the same age, so they could talk comfortably to each other, even though Jinki was technically a year older than the other boy. Soon Jinki also finds out Jonghyun is an adept of skinship, even going as far as putting his arm around his waist while they walk about the city in broad daylight. That habit intensifies when Jonghyun has a little too much alcohol in his system than he’s used to, as Jinki comes to realize after they spend almost a whole night just with soju, video games and each other for company. Jinki also learns Jonghyun just can’t shut up meanwhile.
“But Jinki-yah...” Jonghyun’s voice reaches the other boy’s ears a little more slurred than usual. “How come you had never played before? Where did you come from again? How come there wasn’t anything like this over there? How did you live, Jinki-yah?”
Jinki just blinks as a response to that storm of questions, exploding the head of Jonghyun’s player with a touch of his fingers. He swears and Jinki smiles. One of the times when Jonghyun had slept over at his apartment, he’d had to explain how the portable computer he brought under his arm worked to the other boy. When Jonghyun had asked him how it was possible he’d never touched a computer in his life, Jinki panicked and said he was foreign. For some reason, Jonghyun's mouth formed a round ‘o’ and, from then onwards, Jinki’s ignorance of the modern world was always explained by the fact he came from some exotic, faraway country.
“I think I’m good at this,” Jinki says simply, before he gets up to grab more snacks; he can see Jonghyun’s pout all the way from the kitchen. Smiling, Jinki returns to the living room, only to find Jonghyun laying on the floor, eyes trained on the white ceiling.
“I guess I really am a good for nothing, just like my mom said,” Jonghyun whispers, closing his tired eyes. Jinki goes back to the spot he was occupying in the couch before, unsure of what to say.
“Why do you say that, Jjong?” He scoffs, turning and using his arms as a new support for his head.
“I ran away from home, you know. When I was younger,” he confesses and Jinki tries to react as if he had only found out about that now. He opts for staying silent. “I wanted to be a singer so badly I just blindly ran away. I had the confidence I had it in me to succeed, but now…” He sighs. “Now I’m not so sure. I mean, look at me. I’m jobless and here I am playing games till dawn on a Wednesday night.”
“I think that’s enough soju for today,” Jinki says gently after a while, taking Jonghyun’s glass and putting it right next to him. They stay in silence, both seemingly lost in thought. Jinki is the first one to break it, hands twitching in his lap. “For the record, I don’t think you’re useless.”
Jonghyun hisses. “What would you know? We’ve known each other for like a couple of months.”
“Jjong, how drunk are you, really?” Jonghyun takes his hands to his temples before replying.
“Pretty fucking drunk, I’m sure.” Jinki gulps.
“Then yes, I do know.” Jinki looks at Jonghyun, his expression letting nothing on as Jonghyun scrutinizes his face without a word. “I know much more about you than you think. I know you’ve spent sleepless nights when you ran away, but still, you chased after your dream. And I also know that nothing makes you happier than being on stage. You only have to get your confidence back, that’s all.”
There’s quietness after these words, as Jonghyun is apparently trying to process everything Jinki has just told him. He grins some seconds later, and Jinki notices it’s the first time he sees Jonghyun’s real smile.
“You’re so wise, Jinki-yah,” he says, just before he closes his eyes and his head topples on the floor.
The next day, Jinki wakes up with Jonghyun snuggled against his lap and a massive headache.
--
“Hey, will you help me find a new job?”
A beam.
“Of course, Jjong.”
--
It’s almost the end of December when Jonghyun finally finds a new clubhouse to sing in. He calls Jinki as soon as he leaves the closed building, already used to having to make about three calls before Jinki picks up, since he never remembers which one of the buttons is the one he has to press. Jinki can’t hold his excitement as he shouts congratulations over and over again, laughing loudly at the same rhythm as Jonghyun.
Jinki then adjusts his schedule, accompanying Jonghyun during the night many times and sleeping during the morning to recover those lost hours of sleep. It’s one of those nights and Jinki is leaning against the bar, waiting for Jonghyun to step onto the stage while drinking a soda; when Jonghyun had seen him moments before and grasped what Jinki was sipping on, he couldn’t help but ruffle Jinki’s hair while calling him a loser. Jinki scoffs as he remembers that scene, but, at the same time, he tries to figure out why he had blushed so hard due to such an innocent gesture.
His thoughts are cut by the riffs of an acoustic guitar and Jinki turns to the stage, straw still firm between his lips. And then he notices Jonghyun, closed eyelids as he rests his head against the microphone stand. Before he starts singing, the boy gazes at Jinki and smiles.
He had never quite noticed just how beautiful Jonghyun is.
--
“Ah, it’s so cold today.” Jonghyun takes Jinki’s fluffy blanket, snuggling on it just like a cat, but looking more like a little puppy as he uncovers his eyes only, sighing contently. Jinki stifles a giggle, covering his mouth with the tea mug he has in his hand. Jonghyun raises an eyebrow, curiosity plastered across his face.
“It’s nothing. You just look cute like that. Like a little kid,” Jinki says, before he sits right next to this big kid, sliding into the blanket with a satisfied sigh. He focuses on some action movie that’s on television that instant until he notices Jonghyun still staring at him, the cloth long gone from his face. “What now?”
“I don’t want you to think of me as a kid,” Jonghyun mumbles, taking the remote from Jinki’s hand and flipping absently through the channels, stopping in an encoded one and sulking right afterwards. Jinki gets distracted with the way the light coming from the screen reflects on Jonghyun’s face, emphasizing his strong jawline. Suddenly, Jonghyun's hands leave their hidden place and he puts one of them right above Jinki, the other removing the tea mug from Jinki’s hand, covering it shakily afterwards. He realizes Jonghyun’s hand is cold against his own and, for a fraction of a second, he wants to move his fingers in that particular way, creating a welcoming warmth for him. Said thought quickly jumps out of the window as Jinki remembers the shape he’s in.
“What is that you’re holding, Jjong?” Jinki then asks, diverting his eyes above. Jonghyun has what it seems to be some sort of plant safe between his fingers and Jinki glances at him again curiously.
“It’s mistletoe, Jinki-yah. It’s-Don’t tell me you don’t know what this is for either.” When Jinki shakes his head almost imperceptibly, Jonghyun lowers his arm, letting a muffled, almost exasperated laugh leave his lips. His eyes turn again to Jinki. “You’re an idiot, did you know that?”
And just like that, Jonghyun’s lips are on Jinki’s and, as he forgets how to breathe properly, Jinki realizes that oh, so that’s why. His mind buzzes, his heart pumps in his chest, his cheeks burn, but when Jonghyun distances himself for a moment, Jinki murmurs a soft “no” and pulls him again against him. He can feel Jonghyun’s lips lift up in a smile and he hums into the kiss, nibbling softly on Jinki’s lower lip. Jonghyun’s hands are starting to roam up his back and Jinki is about to open his mouth to let Jonghyun in when he feels a finger tapping his shoulder.
He almost falls flat on his face.
Jinki realizes Taemin stopped time by the way everything is frozen around him, small particles that look like dust hovering about the cold air of the living room. It’s then that Jinki grasps what he’s doing and takes his hand to his mouth.
“I see you’re having fun,” Taemin says in a low tone, cocking his head to the side. Jinki opens his mouth to answer something, anything, but the truth is he knows this wasn’t what the mission was about. To help Jonghyun, yes, but not fall for him in the process.
“I’m sorry,” is all he manages to blurt out, eyes trained on the floor. He hears a sigh leave Taemin’s lips and, by the corner of his eyes, he watches as Taemin positions himself right in front of Jonghyun, still immobile, and leans his head to the side. A second later, Taemin glances at Jinki, a warm glint in his eyes.
“Do you really like him?” he asks bluntly and laughs softly when Jinki replies that yes, he does, very much in fact, blushing as he realizes just how quickly he had said those words. “Ah, Kibum is going to kill me. Do you know how much paperwork I have to go through so you can stay with your human?”
Jinki only registers the last part of that sentence, getting closer to Taemin reflexively. “I can stay with him?”
“Silly Jinki, I’m God. The more love there’s here on Earth, the happier I am.” He waves his hands dismissively. “I only stopped you because his hands were getting dangerously close to your wing bumps. They’re still there, right?” Jinki feels his cheeks start to burn due to embarrassment as he nods. Taemin then stops staring at Jonghyun, leaning into Jinki as he murmurs, “So, I take it that you want to stay, right?”
“Yes, I do,” Jinki answers, stealing a glance at Jonghyun. He can’t help but smile at how his eyes are still closed, neck in an awkward angle. With those words, Taemin straightens up and walks over to the window, climbing out of it and flipping a leg to the other side. He turns to regard Jinki.
“Fine, then. You’ve completed your mission, anyway.”
And then Jinki feels as if two arms had pushed him in Jonghyun’s direction, keeping him in the same position he was at before that stop in time. A tickling sensation runs all along his back and he can sense the changes taking place as dust-like grains soar right above his hands, vanishing as a warm breeze blows quickly all around him. Before he knows it, Jonghyun’s eyes are slowly opening and he smiles, oblivious to all that has happened.
“Merry Christmas, Jinki-yah,” he says, bumping his nose against the other boy’s, mistletoe still firm in his hand. Jinki smiles and leans in for another kiss.
He can definitely get used to being human again.