SSS 2010: for boogie14
For: boogie14
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Santa, I Hereby Surrender My Sanity to You
Pairing: Onew/Key
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2,551
Summary: Key is slowly going crazy as the holiday get closer and closer. Onew is worried for his deteriorating health.
Kim Kibum aka Key was dreaming of a white (as in untainted, bright and merry) Christmas... just like the ones he used to know before he joined SHINee. But somehow he simply wasn't getting the good vibes that were associated with a tree that glistened since theirs remained toppled over from when Jonghyun came skidding in the door and successfully managed to knock it over in one fell swoop. Oh, the children definitely weren't listening and it was starting to get on the cranky umma's nerves. With every Christmas card he wrote, his tension rose higher and higher until he exploded. Or rather the pen he was holding did and the blue ink splattered all over his hands as well as the cherry wood table.
"Goddamnit, Taemin! What is it now?!" Key exclaimed, wishing greatly that he could facepalm or headdesk right now without spreading the blotchy mess as his son gasped at the curse word that escaped his 'grown-up' lips. Really there were only a few years between them but Key could have sworn the entire band relied on him and Onew for everything from menial tasks to lodging full-blown complaints against things they had no control over. Not to brag, but Key reckoned he did most of the work around the dorm and held it only slightly against his partner, Onew. In his defence, it wasn't his fault he was incompetent.
Although, not so useless in bed... Key sighed dreamily. They hadn't had time for some good old quality fun in weeks due to holiday preparation and Key felt that it was going to be the death of him if they didn't have a catch-up night soon to release all the stress. Shopping for three (or four, if you include Onew) little rascals wasn't as easy as it might seem.
Onew was the easy part. It was the first gift Key picked up at the store. It simply caught his eye and almost instantly he knew it was the perfect present. Surely Onew would love it too.
Slowly, Key snapped out of his reverie and became conscious of the fact that Taemin was still ranting away about something Minho did or didn't do. The only eight or nine words he picked up nearly gave him a freaking heart attack. They consist of:
"Umma... all I want for Christmas is a vagina!"
Hearing this Onew came rushing over to the scene. "Taemin-ah, say it isn't so! Why do spontaneously want a sex change? Isn't this a little sudden?" Key stared blankly at his son in some sort of dazed trance caused by the shock of the sudden epiphany.
"Well, Minho obviously seems to prefer the opposite sex and since I can't please him like this, there's only one way I can see that would work-- to be with Minho whom I love so much, I'm gonna need a vagina!!" It was all too much for Key to handle at the moment. He had already bought Taemin a gift and it most certainly wasn't a female reproductive organ. Where did his normal joyous Christmas go, he wondered as he slipped off the chair and into unconsciousness.
~~~
When Key woke up he was determined to sort out that business between Taemin and Minho straight away lest it ruin Christmas altogether. He was thinking up solutions to the problem rapid fire and so far he was favouring sticking them into a locked room together and just letting them talk it out. But Onew was waiting outside the door as if anticipating that kind of action from Key and he blocked Key from getting to his destination.
"Onew, get out of the way. I don't have time for this! I have to save the band from impending doom!!" Key snapped at him, attempting to manoeuvre himself in a way that would allow his passage but Onew was being far too persistent for that to work.
"You don't have to do anything, Key. They'll figure it out on their own if you give them some time!" He said soothingly and pulled the younger boy into an undesired hug.
"No they won't!" Key insisted still trying to struggle out of his embrace. "They'll get into a fight, knock over a lamp and set the whole dorm on fire if I leave them be!" Finally, Onew released him from the hug only to relocate his grip on Key's shoulders. Forcing Key to face him, Onew made their eyes meet so that he knew he would be heard.
"No, they will not and deep down inside you know it as well as I do that they're grown boys who are capable of handling their own problems. I know you like to nag and dote on them but don't you think it's time you let them spread their wings?"
"When you say it like that it sounds like I'm the bad guy!" Key complained with a slight pout. He hated the rare occasions when Onew was right.
"Nah, you've been good this year. That's why 'Santa' got you a really good present!" That brought a grin to Key's face.
"I'm pretty sure 'Santa' has a surprise in store for you inside that sack of his as well!"
"So... since you'll go crazy waiting around here for them to work things out, I figure you need a distraction. Wanna go downtown with me? I still need to get a present for Jonghyun."
"But all the stores are closed, Jinki. It's Christmas Eve after all..." Key cocked his head to the side in confusion. Jinki simply grinned.
"I know a place that's open..."
~~~
A half an hour later Key was finally ready to go and they hopped on a bus to the core of the city. If they hadn't argued over those wretched snow pants Onew wanted Key to put on they'd have left house twenty minutes earlier but in the end, Key was the victor. Although he slightly regretted it now after experiencing first hand how cold it was outside. He shivered as he felt the crisp wind against his face when they stepped off the warm bus. It was only then that he realized that they weren't downtown at all.
"Where the hell are we Jinki?!" Key demanded. He sounded only slightly panicked. The next bus home wouldn't be coming until morning and they had to get home in time to put all the presents under the tree. No doubt Taemin would want to bake cookies for Santa as well-- he still believed in the magic of Christmas after all. Key knew the truth. It was a burden to play Santa and especially hard on the wallet if you know what I mean.
"It's a surprise," Onew answered plainly without revealing much. Key was beginning to get more than a little frustrated with him.
"So this is your idea of a distraction? Getting me more worked up because we're stranded in the middle of nowhere in the cold when it's frickin' Christmas Eve. Nice job, Jinki! You're a genius!!"
"Hey, hey! Easy with the sarcasm there. It hurts you know? Just relax and follow me." Key grabbed onto Onew's outstretched hand and walked behind him reluctantly. He knew Onew was probably right. He needed to lighten up a bit but Key couldn't shake the feeling that the whole world would fall apart if he wasn't there to supervise everything.
"What about Christmas? Taemin is going to be distraught if he wakes up and discovers that Santa hasn't come or worse, that Santa doesn't exist at all!"
Jinki laughed and stoked the back of Key's hand soothingly with his thumb. "Ryeowook is heading over to the dorm now to bake cookies with Taemin and Jonghyun said he'd take care of things in terms of the presents. This is my present to you-- a night off from being grumpy umma for once!!"
"Your gift to me is a night out in the cold?" Key asked bewildered. If that was true then Onew was a lot dumber than Key gave him credit for.
"No, silly. We're staying in the cabin up ahead!" Key could barely manage to make out a tiny house in the distance through the blowing snow but it was there just like Jinki had said. He hadn't even noticed where they were walking because of all his worrying.
It was located in an abandoned forest. Not the type you'd see in a horror film but more like a winter wonderland from a romantic chick flick. It was the kind of thing he daydreamed about when his life wasn't as hectic as it currently happened to be. Onew had really thought this through. Key smiled at him meekly, feeling extremely bad for his inner thoughts earlier. If there was one thing Key was known for (other than being the nagging umma of SHINee) it was that he jumped to conclusions far too easily. Maybe it would be best for him to make a resolution for the New Year to not be so quick to judge.
Onew let Key step in first. Leaving their snowy boots on the doormat, they proceeded to the cozy living room and snuggled up by the fireplace. It didn't need to be lit because Onew had previously made preparations for everything to be ready when they got up there. It was already ablaze, warming Key's rosy cheeks and lightening the atmosphere of the space. If not, Key would have already commented on the ridiculously tacky deer head plaque hanging on the wall and the fact that there was no electricity this far up north. He could get use to this laidback stress less life. Just as long as the cliché movie syndrome didn't continue and cause them to get snowed in together. As much as he'd like to stay here forever with Onew by his side, Key seriously couldn't miss Christmas. His head would explode with the anxiety about the state of the dorm while he was away.
Key rested his head on Onew's shoulder and caught a glimpse of the time displayed on his watch. It was midnight... Onew saw the mischievous glint in the younger man's eye.
"Just about time to be legally allowed to open presents, huh?" he sighed, pulling a tiny box out of his back pocket. Key fumbled for his own gift that he had been keeping safe in the inner pouch of his jacket. They exchanged gifts in the silent rapture of curiosity. Onew opened his first because Key was still busy meticulously removing the wrapping paper on his own so that it wouldn't rip in the process.
"Eh?" Onew exclaimed in surprise as he turns the engraved ring over in his hand. Key's head jumped up when he hears the seemingly displeased tone in his boyfriend's voice.
"Do you not like it?" he inquired ashamedly. Key had always thought he knew Onew like the back of his hand. He thought for sure he would like the present he had given him. Without realizing it, tears were brimming in his eyes.
"No, it's not that. It's..." Onew pointed at the object that had just tumbled out of its packaging and into Key's hand. Key stared down at it in disbelief.
"YOU COPYCAT!!" They both yelled in unison and pointed an accusing finger at each other. As it turned out, they knew each other so well that they got each other the same gift-- an engraved promise ring that read the other's name.
"Well I suppose now we have couple rings, don't we?" Onew laughed at the coincidental scene that had played out before them. He took Key's hand and slid the ring on with ease. Key did the same for Onew as well. Then they stretched their arms in front of them and compared from afar.
"They look pretty good. We have good taste!" Key agreed with a slight smile.
"Great minds think alike, is the saying I believe."
Shortly afterwards, they fell asleep together on the couch and Key set the alarm on his phone to wake them up when the first bus rolled in. Key slept some more on the bus while Onew kept watch for their stop and soon they were at the front steps of the SHINee dorm once again. Key was almost afraid to peer inside.
"We're home!" Onew announced, forcefully dragging Key in behind him. The boy was so terrified to see the dorm in ruins that he had his hands over face as they entered the living room. But as Onew had guaranteed him earlier, everything was completely fine. There was nothing to be worried about.
Taemin was sitting on the floor beside Jonghyun opening his presents while Minho played with his new soccer ball. He was ever so cautious about keeping the ball in check ever since Key had come into the room. Jonghyun gave them a subtle thumbs up. Grinning widely, they all handed their personal gifts to their leader and umma and watched excitedly as they opened them. Key received hair products, clothes and a coupon for a day off from Taemin. Onew got mostly gift cards and a bucket of fried chicken which he was assured was fresh, not that he cared-- he'd eat it anyway.
Christmas was a highly successful event and it went surprisingly well despite Key's constant worry that everything was about to go downhill. Now all Key was looking forward to was the Boxing Day shopping extravaganza at the mall. He was sure to hit all the stores and rack up some major debt. Ah, a carefree life was the best life to lead...
Everyone sat happily playing with their four or more assorted presents except for Minho who frowned at his pile of three all the while wondering whom he hadn't received one from. And then it dawned on him.
"Yah! Lee Taemin. Where's my present, huh? I don't care if you're the maknae or whatever, you can't get out of gift giving. You gave everyone else one so where's mine at?" Minho demanded. Key's eyes widened as Taemin approached Minho with a look in his eyes that no one had ever seen before. Was he... flaunting his sex appeal?!?
"Well since you asked for it..." Taemin said seductively, closing the gap between their faces. Key gasped in horror as Taemin knocked Minho back onto the couch.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BABY!?!" he bellowed at Jonghyun as the two went at it behind him despite Onew's attempts to break it up.
"I swear to God there was none of this while you were gone! This is the first I've seen of Taemin's newfound sexual... courage!! I swear to you, Key-- please don't kill me..."
Christmas was going so well... Key lamented as he collapsed on the floor at Jonghyun's feet. Onew left the two youngsters passionately making out on the floor in order to rush to his boyfriend's side. Why couldn't he have just become a fashion designer like he had dreamed of when he was younger instead of becoming a superstar in charge of three (or four if included Onew) boys with raging hormones? And where was their manger at times of crisis and impending scandal like these? Questions... for the sake of entertainment they're better left unanswered, no?
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Santa, I Hereby Surrender My Sanity to You
Pairing: Onew/Key
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2,551
Summary: Key is slowly going crazy as the holiday get closer and closer. Onew is worried for his deteriorating health.
Kim Kibum aka Key was dreaming of a white (as in untainted, bright and merry) Christmas... just like the ones he used to know before he joined SHINee. But somehow he simply wasn't getting the good vibes that were associated with a tree that glistened since theirs remained toppled over from when Jonghyun came skidding in the door and successfully managed to knock it over in one fell swoop. Oh, the children definitely weren't listening and it was starting to get on the cranky umma's nerves. With every Christmas card he wrote, his tension rose higher and higher until he exploded. Or rather the pen he was holding did and the blue ink splattered all over his hands as well as the cherry wood table.
"Goddamnit, Taemin! What is it now?!" Key exclaimed, wishing greatly that he could facepalm or headdesk right now without spreading the blotchy mess as his son gasped at the curse word that escaped his 'grown-up' lips. Really there were only a few years between them but Key could have sworn the entire band relied on him and Onew for everything from menial tasks to lodging full-blown complaints against things they had no control over. Not to brag, but Key reckoned he did most of the work around the dorm and held it only slightly against his partner, Onew. In his defence, it wasn't his fault he was incompetent.
Although, not so useless in bed... Key sighed dreamily. They hadn't had time for some good old quality fun in weeks due to holiday preparation and Key felt that it was going to be the death of him if they didn't have a catch-up night soon to release all the stress. Shopping for three (or four, if you include Onew) little rascals wasn't as easy as it might seem.
Onew was the easy part. It was the first gift Key picked up at the store. It simply caught his eye and almost instantly he knew it was the perfect present. Surely Onew would love it too.
Slowly, Key snapped out of his reverie and became conscious of the fact that Taemin was still ranting away about something Minho did or didn't do. The only eight or nine words he picked up nearly gave him a freaking heart attack. They consist of:
"Umma... all I want for Christmas is a vagina!"
Hearing this Onew came rushing over to the scene. "Taemin-ah, say it isn't so! Why do spontaneously want a sex change? Isn't this a little sudden?" Key stared blankly at his son in some sort of dazed trance caused by the shock of the sudden epiphany.
"Well, Minho obviously seems to prefer the opposite sex and since I can't please him like this, there's only one way I can see that would work-- to be with Minho whom I love so much, I'm gonna need a vagina!!" It was all too much for Key to handle at the moment. He had already bought Taemin a gift and it most certainly wasn't a female reproductive organ. Where did his normal joyous Christmas go, he wondered as he slipped off the chair and into unconsciousness.
~~~
When Key woke up he was determined to sort out that business between Taemin and Minho straight away lest it ruin Christmas altogether. He was thinking up solutions to the problem rapid fire and so far he was favouring sticking them into a locked room together and just letting them talk it out. But Onew was waiting outside the door as if anticipating that kind of action from Key and he blocked Key from getting to his destination.
"Onew, get out of the way. I don't have time for this! I have to save the band from impending doom!!" Key snapped at him, attempting to manoeuvre himself in a way that would allow his passage but Onew was being far too persistent for that to work.
"You don't have to do anything, Key. They'll figure it out on their own if you give them some time!" He said soothingly and pulled the younger boy into an undesired hug.
"No they won't!" Key insisted still trying to struggle out of his embrace. "They'll get into a fight, knock over a lamp and set the whole dorm on fire if I leave them be!" Finally, Onew released him from the hug only to relocate his grip on Key's shoulders. Forcing Key to face him, Onew made their eyes meet so that he knew he would be heard.
"No, they will not and deep down inside you know it as well as I do that they're grown boys who are capable of handling their own problems. I know you like to nag and dote on them but don't you think it's time you let them spread their wings?"
"When you say it like that it sounds like I'm the bad guy!" Key complained with a slight pout. He hated the rare occasions when Onew was right.
"Nah, you've been good this year. That's why 'Santa' got you a really good present!" That brought a grin to Key's face.
"I'm pretty sure 'Santa' has a surprise in store for you inside that sack of his as well!"
"So... since you'll go crazy waiting around here for them to work things out, I figure you need a distraction. Wanna go downtown with me? I still need to get a present for Jonghyun."
"But all the stores are closed, Jinki. It's Christmas Eve after all..." Key cocked his head to the side in confusion. Jinki simply grinned.
"I know a place that's open..."
~~~
A half an hour later Key was finally ready to go and they hopped on a bus to the core of the city. If they hadn't argued over those wretched snow pants Onew wanted Key to put on they'd have left house twenty minutes earlier but in the end, Key was the victor. Although he slightly regretted it now after experiencing first hand how cold it was outside. He shivered as he felt the crisp wind against his face when they stepped off the warm bus. It was only then that he realized that they weren't downtown at all.
"Where the hell are we Jinki?!" Key demanded. He sounded only slightly panicked. The next bus home wouldn't be coming until morning and they had to get home in time to put all the presents under the tree. No doubt Taemin would want to bake cookies for Santa as well-- he still believed in the magic of Christmas after all. Key knew the truth. It was a burden to play Santa and especially hard on the wallet if you know what I mean.
"It's a surprise," Onew answered plainly without revealing much. Key was beginning to get more than a little frustrated with him.
"So this is your idea of a distraction? Getting me more worked up because we're stranded in the middle of nowhere in the cold when it's frickin' Christmas Eve. Nice job, Jinki! You're a genius!!"
"Hey, hey! Easy with the sarcasm there. It hurts you know? Just relax and follow me." Key grabbed onto Onew's outstretched hand and walked behind him reluctantly. He knew Onew was probably right. He needed to lighten up a bit but Key couldn't shake the feeling that the whole world would fall apart if he wasn't there to supervise everything.
"What about Christmas? Taemin is going to be distraught if he wakes up and discovers that Santa hasn't come or worse, that Santa doesn't exist at all!"
Jinki laughed and stoked the back of Key's hand soothingly with his thumb. "Ryeowook is heading over to the dorm now to bake cookies with Taemin and Jonghyun said he'd take care of things in terms of the presents. This is my present to you-- a night off from being grumpy umma for once!!"
"Your gift to me is a night out in the cold?" Key asked bewildered. If that was true then Onew was a lot dumber than Key gave him credit for.
"No, silly. We're staying in the cabin up ahead!" Key could barely manage to make out a tiny house in the distance through the blowing snow but it was there just like Jinki had said. He hadn't even noticed where they were walking because of all his worrying.
It was located in an abandoned forest. Not the type you'd see in a horror film but more like a winter wonderland from a romantic chick flick. It was the kind of thing he daydreamed about when his life wasn't as hectic as it currently happened to be. Onew had really thought this through. Key smiled at him meekly, feeling extremely bad for his inner thoughts earlier. If there was one thing Key was known for (other than being the nagging umma of SHINee) it was that he jumped to conclusions far too easily. Maybe it would be best for him to make a resolution for the New Year to not be so quick to judge.
Onew let Key step in first. Leaving their snowy boots on the doormat, they proceeded to the cozy living room and snuggled up by the fireplace. It didn't need to be lit because Onew had previously made preparations for everything to be ready when they got up there. It was already ablaze, warming Key's rosy cheeks and lightening the atmosphere of the space. If not, Key would have already commented on the ridiculously tacky deer head plaque hanging on the wall and the fact that there was no electricity this far up north. He could get use to this laidback stress less life. Just as long as the cliché movie syndrome didn't continue and cause them to get snowed in together. As much as he'd like to stay here forever with Onew by his side, Key seriously couldn't miss Christmas. His head would explode with the anxiety about the state of the dorm while he was away.
Key rested his head on Onew's shoulder and caught a glimpse of the time displayed on his watch. It was midnight... Onew saw the mischievous glint in the younger man's eye.
"Just about time to be legally allowed to open presents, huh?" he sighed, pulling a tiny box out of his back pocket. Key fumbled for his own gift that he had been keeping safe in the inner pouch of his jacket. They exchanged gifts in the silent rapture of curiosity. Onew opened his first because Key was still busy meticulously removing the wrapping paper on his own so that it wouldn't rip in the process.
"Eh?" Onew exclaimed in surprise as he turns the engraved ring over in his hand. Key's head jumped up when he hears the seemingly displeased tone in his boyfriend's voice.
"Do you not like it?" he inquired ashamedly. Key had always thought he knew Onew like the back of his hand. He thought for sure he would like the present he had given him. Without realizing it, tears were brimming in his eyes.
"No, it's not that. It's..." Onew pointed at the object that had just tumbled out of its packaging and into Key's hand. Key stared down at it in disbelief.
"YOU COPYCAT!!" They both yelled in unison and pointed an accusing finger at each other. As it turned out, they knew each other so well that they got each other the same gift-- an engraved promise ring that read the other's name.
"Well I suppose now we have couple rings, don't we?" Onew laughed at the coincidental scene that had played out before them. He took Key's hand and slid the ring on with ease. Key did the same for Onew as well. Then they stretched their arms in front of them and compared from afar.
"They look pretty good. We have good taste!" Key agreed with a slight smile.
"Great minds think alike, is the saying I believe."
Shortly afterwards, they fell asleep together on the couch and Key set the alarm on his phone to wake them up when the first bus rolled in. Key slept some more on the bus while Onew kept watch for their stop and soon they were at the front steps of the SHINee dorm once again. Key was almost afraid to peer inside.
"We're home!" Onew announced, forcefully dragging Key in behind him. The boy was so terrified to see the dorm in ruins that he had his hands over face as they entered the living room. But as Onew had guaranteed him earlier, everything was completely fine. There was nothing to be worried about.
Taemin was sitting on the floor beside Jonghyun opening his presents while Minho played with his new soccer ball. He was ever so cautious about keeping the ball in check ever since Key had come into the room. Jonghyun gave them a subtle thumbs up. Grinning widely, they all handed their personal gifts to their leader and umma and watched excitedly as they opened them. Key received hair products, clothes and a coupon for a day off from Taemin. Onew got mostly gift cards and a bucket of fried chicken which he was assured was fresh, not that he cared-- he'd eat it anyway.
Christmas was a highly successful event and it went surprisingly well despite Key's constant worry that everything was about to go downhill. Now all Key was looking forward to was the Boxing Day shopping extravaganza at the mall. He was sure to hit all the stores and rack up some major debt. Ah, a carefree life was the best life to lead...
Everyone sat happily playing with their four or more assorted presents except for Minho who frowned at his pile of three all the while wondering whom he hadn't received one from. And then it dawned on him.
"Yah! Lee Taemin. Where's my present, huh? I don't care if you're the maknae or whatever, you can't get out of gift giving. You gave everyone else one so where's mine at?" Minho demanded. Key's eyes widened as Taemin approached Minho with a look in his eyes that no one had ever seen before. Was he... flaunting his sex appeal?!?
"Well since you asked for it..." Taemin said seductively, closing the gap between their faces. Key gasped in horror as Taemin knocked Minho back onto the couch.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BABY!?!" he bellowed at Jonghyun as the two went at it behind him despite Onew's attempts to break it up.
"I swear to God there was none of this while you were gone! This is the first I've seen of Taemin's newfound sexual... courage!! I swear to you, Key-- please don't kill me..."
Christmas was going so well... Key lamented as he collapsed on the floor at Jonghyun's feet. Onew left the two youngsters passionately making out on the floor in order to rush to his boyfriend's side. Why couldn't he have just become a fashion designer like he had dreamed of when he was younger instead of becoming a superstar in charge of three (or four if included Onew) boys with raging hormones? And where was their manger at times of crisis and impending scandal like these? Questions... for the sake of entertainment they're better left unanswered, no?