[fic] untitled (yet)
untitled
kyuhyun/sungmin; angst, romance
pg-13; ~1382w; au
he wanted to change but then he broke the promise.
beta-ed by cm_eraser
You’re fucked up and you’re blinded with love and now, your world revolves around him and only him.
You didn’t care about what you want for dinner, where you wanted to go or why you were here with him. All you cared about was what he wanted, where he wanted to go and why he was here with you (because you were still somehow convinced with his friend’s word that you were just one of his toys and nothing more).
You believe it was the word ‘love’ that turned you like this. Not saying a word everytime he went out at night and returning home by dawn. Hanging your head down everytime he hit you on the face. Turning a blind eye everytime he brought someone to his room and slamming the door in front of your nose.
It was just not you, because the you before would retort if something was not right, you never hung your head down if someone hurt you, you never turned a blind eye if you were burning with jealousy.
The you before would open your mouth and ask everything you need to know to make sure that everything was right, you would hold your chin high and fight back, you would keep your eyes open and face the truth that you were jealous, that he was not faithful and that you should leave him.
But now, you did none of these things.
-
He went home with a smell of cheap perfume, which you were very certain wasn’t his or yours, could be on smelled his white shirt and there were red kiss marks with cheap lipstick all over his collarbones and neck. You didn’t ask why did he got home late, nor did you ask why there were kiss marks on his neck.
You did ask, however, why he didn’t smell like sex.
He had hit you on the face and pushed you against the wall with a hard thud. He then left you there all alone while he made his way to the bedroom and locked it even before you could touch the knob. That was the first time in your life you had been hit by your lover. That was the first time in your life you had felt that you were not needed, not wanted, not appreciated.
The next morning he treated you nicely, cooked you breakfast and greeted you with a morning kiss. He came home at the same time and kissed you again. He cooked you dinner and the dinner lead to dessert, or, something that could be said as dessert.
You enjoyed that night, you cherished the lovemaking. He was gentle and you thought you had never received love that much.
But the week after that happened, he was back to himself, he started to go home late again with kiss marks and other smells on his body. You realized that that was his way of living, you never asked him again ever since then. You were afraid that he’d leave you.
Your submissiveness and your quietness was interpreted in a wrong way and he started to bring girls to your and his house, worse, he had brought them to the room with a luxurious king-sized bed which belonged to the both of you. The bed you used to sleep with your head on his chest and his arms cradling your waist, the bed you used to did things with him. Now, you had to share the bed with people you didn’t know.
-
“I love you,” he breathed against your neck. “I love you, Sungmin.”
You tilted your head upwards, giving him more access to mark your white skin. “I-I love you too.. Kyuhyun,” you moaned out the last word.
He bit your neck gently and pushed you onto the bed.
-
You had made up your mind.
You’d leave today, when he hadn’t woke up, when everyone was fast asleep, when the sun hadn’t rose.
You were doubtless for leaving him and would never come back.
You were tired of everything; tired of him being inconsiderate, tired of him for not caring about you and for himself only, tired of witnessing everything in front of your eyes, tired of him saying ‘I love you’s everytime he knew you were doubting whether he truly loved you or not, and most of all, you were tired of being quiet all this time.
You pulled your suitcase with you until you made it to the front door, you took a last glance at everything your eyes could catch: the kitchen, living room, and the door to your bedroom ,where he was still sleeping. This was the place where you mentally lost everything you owned, and you wanted to thrive on changing and get them all back.
You opened the door to the world outside. You smiled despite the dark surrounding. But then, you knew the light you were seeking would be there by the time you stepped out of the house.
You took a deep breath before moving your right leg several inches forward, and as your leg landed softly on the terrace at the front of the house, you beamed. You moved your left leg forward this time, and then your right, and then your left again repeatedly until you were outside of the gate.
It was time to move on.
You never looked back as you walked further from the house-his house.
-
You let your mouth hanging open for a few minutes as you looked at the tall and lanky man outside of your new house. He was soaked to the bone because it was raining heavily outside. You had no idea how he end up here.
He didn’t welcome himself in (it made you completely perplexed, you knew barging in was his hobby) but instead, he bend down on his knees and looked up at you with his tired eyes half of which was covered by his wet bangs.
“Sungmin, come back with me,” he said. His voice was clearly shaking and you were not sure if it was because he was freezing or if it was because he was too scared of being rejected (you shook your head at this, what a wrong thinking because he’d never get scared of rejections, he had many stock of ‘toys’).
You thought for a while. It’s been months since you left his house and you had found your new life. Was it worth it to be back with him and lose everything and start all over again when you decided to leave him later on? Because somehow, deep in your heart you knew that he never meant his words and you also knew that you’d end up being hurt again.
You looked at him straight in the eyes and studied his features. His eyes, his hair, his nose, his lips... he was the perfect being and probably the most gorgeous person you had ever spent your life with. You were considering what he offered but instead, you smiled generously and said:
“No, Kyuhyun. I’m sorry, but I had found the real meaning of life here. I knew you didn’t love me. You just knew the word ‘love’ but you never felt it. You just used it on me everytime I was debating for your love but I knew you didn’t mean it.”
“But I really do love you,” he tried again and almost sounded like he was about to cry.
You broke the promise you held and you looked away from him.
“I’m sorry,” you said as you make your way into your house. “I’m sorry,” you repeated and you closed the door behind you.
You could hear the soft sobs at the front of your door. You broke down and slid off the door. Few tears escaped from your eyes but you wiped it off harshly.
You had the right to live a normal life.
You had the right to thrive on changing.
You had the right... to broke his heart just once.
But you knew, somehow, deep inside your heart that you had hurt yourself once again.
("Don't leave me. Promise?"
"Promise.")
fin.
oh yes. i'm in my emo mood lately and the amount of girl!min on the community is just too many i have to write a guy!min.
:DD
thank you my dear ms.beta lolz i added/changed some things cos..... i just have to. HAHA
and and and if you guys could suggest any ideas for the title.... i'll love you forever! i don't like making my fics with no title A___A
and and and and parentheses = ♥
and whatever with the summary. i don't want to make my summary in the 2nd person pov too lolz
kyuhyun/sungmin; angst, romance
pg-13; ~1382w; au
he wanted to change but then he broke the promise.
beta-ed by cm_eraser
You’re fucked up and you’re blinded with love and now, your world revolves around him and only him.
You didn’t care about what you want for dinner, where you wanted to go or why you were here with him. All you cared about was what he wanted, where he wanted to go and why he was here with you (because you were still somehow convinced with his friend’s word that you were just one of his toys and nothing more).
You believe it was the word ‘love’ that turned you like this. Not saying a word everytime he went out at night and returning home by dawn. Hanging your head down everytime he hit you on the face. Turning a blind eye everytime he brought someone to his room and slamming the door in front of your nose.
It was just not you, because the you before would retort if something was not right, you never hung your head down if someone hurt you, you never turned a blind eye if you were burning with jealousy.
The you before would open your mouth and ask everything you need to know to make sure that everything was right, you would hold your chin high and fight back, you would keep your eyes open and face the truth that you were jealous, that he was not faithful and that you should leave him.
But now, you did none of these things.
-
He went home with a smell of cheap perfume, which you were very certain wasn’t his or yours, could be on smelled his white shirt and there were red kiss marks with cheap lipstick all over his collarbones and neck. You didn’t ask why did he got home late, nor did you ask why there were kiss marks on his neck.
You did ask, however, why he didn’t smell like sex.
He had hit you on the face and pushed you against the wall with a hard thud. He then left you there all alone while he made his way to the bedroom and locked it even before you could touch the knob. That was the first time in your life you had been hit by your lover. That was the first time in your life you had felt that you were not needed, not wanted, not appreciated.
The next morning he treated you nicely, cooked you breakfast and greeted you with a morning kiss. He came home at the same time and kissed you again. He cooked you dinner and the dinner lead to dessert, or, something that could be said as dessert.
You enjoyed that night, you cherished the lovemaking. He was gentle and you thought you had never received love that much.
But the week after that happened, he was back to himself, he started to go home late again with kiss marks and other smells on his body. You realized that that was his way of living, you never asked him again ever since then. You were afraid that he’d leave you.
Your submissiveness and your quietness was interpreted in a wrong way and he started to bring girls to your and his house, worse, he had brought them to the room with a luxurious king-sized bed which belonged to the both of you. The bed you used to sleep with your head on his chest and his arms cradling your waist, the bed you used to did things with him. Now, you had to share the bed with people you didn’t know.
-
“I love you,” he breathed against your neck. “I love you, Sungmin.”
You tilted your head upwards, giving him more access to mark your white skin. “I-I love you too.. Kyuhyun,” you moaned out the last word.
He bit your neck gently and pushed you onto the bed.
-
You had made up your mind.
You’d leave today, when he hadn’t woke up, when everyone was fast asleep, when the sun hadn’t rose.
You were doubtless for leaving him and would never come back.
You were tired of everything; tired of him being inconsiderate, tired of him for not caring about you and for himself only, tired of witnessing everything in front of your eyes, tired of him saying ‘I love you’s everytime he knew you were doubting whether he truly loved you or not, and most of all, you were tired of being quiet all this time.
You pulled your suitcase with you until you made it to the front door, you took a last glance at everything your eyes could catch: the kitchen, living room, and the door to your bedroom ,where he was still sleeping. This was the place where you mentally lost everything you owned, and you wanted to thrive on changing and get them all back.
You opened the door to the world outside. You smiled despite the dark surrounding. But then, you knew the light you were seeking would be there by the time you stepped out of the house.
You took a deep breath before moving your right leg several inches forward, and as your leg landed softly on the terrace at the front of the house, you beamed. You moved your left leg forward this time, and then your right, and then your left again repeatedly until you were outside of the gate.
It was time to move on.
You never looked back as you walked further from the house-his house.
-
You let your mouth hanging open for a few minutes as you looked at the tall and lanky man outside of your new house. He was soaked to the bone because it was raining heavily outside. You had no idea how he end up here.
He didn’t welcome himself in (it made you completely perplexed, you knew barging in was his hobby) but instead, he bend down on his knees and looked up at you with his tired eyes half of which was covered by his wet bangs.
“Sungmin, come back with me,” he said. His voice was clearly shaking and you were not sure if it was because he was freezing or if it was because he was too scared of being rejected (you shook your head at this, what a wrong thinking because he’d never get scared of rejections, he had many stock of ‘toys’).
You thought for a while. It’s been months since you left his house and you had found your new life. Was it worth it to be back with him and lose everything and start all over again when you decided to leave him later on? Because somehow, deep in your heart you knew that he never meant his words and you also knew that you’d end up being hurt again.
You looked at him straight in the eyes and studied his features. His eyes, his hair, his nose, his lips... he was the perfect being and probably the most gorgeous person you had ever spent your life with. You were considering what he offered but instead, you smiled generously and said:
“No, Kyuhyun. I’m sorry, but I had found the real meaning of life here. I knew you didn’t love me. You just knew the word ‘love’ but you never felt it. You just used it on me everytime I was debating for your love but I knew you didn’t mean it.”
“But I really do love you,” he tried again and almost sounded like he was about to cry.
You broke the promise you held and you looked away from him.
“I’m sorry,” you said as you make your way into your house. “I’m sorry,” you repeated and you closed the door behind you.
You could hear the soft sobs at the front of your door. You broke down and slid off the door. Few tears escaped from your eyes but you wiped it off harshly.
You had the right to live a normal life.
You had the right to thrive on changing.
You had the right... to broke his heart just once.
But you knew, somehow, deep inside your heart that you had hurt yourself once again.
("Don't leave me. Promise?"
"Promise.")
fin.
oh yes. i'm in my emo mood lately and the amount of girl!min on the community is just too many i have to write a guy!min.
:DD
thank you my dear ms.beta lolz i added/changed some things cos..... i just have to. HAHA
and and and if you guys could suggest any ideas for the title.... i'll love you forever! i don't like making my fics with no title A___A
and and and and parentheses = ♥
and whatever with the summary. i don't want to make my summary in the 2nd person pov too lolz