SHINee Shorts 2013: dubu_dubu
Title: 25 Meters
Author: dubu_dubu
Pairing: pre-Jonghyun/Key
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word Count: 4,800
Twenty Five Meters
A wet nose nudging at his hand snaps Jonghyun from his reverie. He takes off his headphones and gives his daemon a questioning look. “What is it?”
Melody sets her head on his knee and gazes up at him. “Nothing,” she sighs, but her drooping tail and ears belie her anxiety.
Jonghyun glances at the clock hanging above the reception desk. Only fifteen more minutes to go.
He reaches down and gives his daemon a reassuring scratch behind the ears. “We’ll be fine, girl. We made it to twenty meters before.”
“I know,” she huffs, settling back onto the ground and resting her head on her front paws. “I just hate this.”
Jonghyun agrees. It took them three months to get to twenty meters, three months of agonizing practice at the public park near their home. They only ever went late in the night when there was less of a chance of nosy neighbors prying into their business. The quiet had also helped him concentrate, letting him focus all his energy on overcoming the excruciating pain of separation.
Now, here they are, sitting in the lobby of SM Entertainment's headquarters. He's the only person present at the moment besides the receptionist, an immaculately dressed woman who has her hair pulled back in a tight bun, her little terrier daemon snoozing under her chair.
Jonghyun slides his headphones back on. The sound of SG Wannabe’s crooning fills his head, but his thoughts stray to the daemon at his feet.
With her silky, patchwork coat and bright, cornflower blue eyes, Melody is by no means an unattractive daemon. She had settled the day of his thirteenth birthday. He had been unsurprised to wake up to the sight of an Australian shepherd lying at the foot of his bed-Melody had always favored dog forms-but as he reached for her, he knew in his heart with inexplicable certainty that she would never change form again.
"Is this okay?" she had asked, hungry for his approval. She was a worrier. His mother often said his daemon did all his worrying for him.
Jonghyun had stroked her pointed face and smiled. "It's perfect.”
He had said it because it was true. Melody was his other half, closer to him than his own shadow, his own skin. He would have loved her no matter what form she had taken.
However, as he sits in SM’s lobby looking at her sweet but rather unastonishing appearance, Jonghyun feels a twinge of worry.
He knows that despite vehemently denying accusations of prejudice, entertainment companies have a habit of recruiting singers and dancers with exotic and impressive-looking daemons. He thinks of Yunho's wolf daemon and the leopard daemon that always trails behind his band member, Changmin. He's heard there's even a YG trainee with a white tiger daemon. Visuals are a big part of the industry and it would be foolish to think his daemon's appearance will not be a factor when he’s judged. In preparation for today, Jonghyun had brushed Melody's coat to a gleaming shine, but no amount of grooming would hide the fact that she's just a dog daemon.
Still, the SM talent scout had been the one to approach Jonghyun and offer him the chance to become a singer. The company must see something in him to let him this far. He had used his strongest asset, his voice, to power through the first two rounds of auditions. But everyone knows that's it's the third round, the distance trial, that could change everything.
Jonghyun slumps back in his seat and rubs his eyes. He's exhausted from school and the seemingly endless subway ride it took to get to here. He also managed to fit in two practice runs with Melody before he got on the train, and as always, they were draining.
There's really no point in worrying now he tells himself as he scrolls through his playlist. There's nothing he can do until it’s his turn.
Melody raises her head, perked ears swiveling toward the entrance of the building.
Jonghyun takes off his headphones again. “What is it now?”
She doesn’t answer him. Her attention is fixed on the doors, where another boy is passing through.
Jonghyun's eyebrows climb upward as he takes in the newcomer's appearance. The boy has his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his baggy, white pants. Matching suspenders dangle from his hips. The zipper of his black hoodie is drawn low, revealing a white tank underneath. Draped around his neck is what Jonghyun first assumes to be a lumpy scarf, but upon looking more closely, he realizes that it's actually the boy's daemon, some sort of wild cat.
“Jonghyun,” Melody says, sounding rapturous. “Oh, Jonghyun, look at him. He’s lovely.”
“I’m looking,” Jonghyun mutters, watching furtively as the boy walks past them. He’s not exactly sure what has gotten his daemon so worked up. The boy has a sharp, haughty face, with thick brows and a small, dainty stub of a nose. Jonghyun thinks the most remarkable thing about him is his daemon, which upon closer examination, reveals itself to be a young ocelot.
Both the boy and his daemon ignore Jonghyun and Melody as they make their way towards the reception desk. He must also be a candidate for the trial because the receptionist hands him the same waivers that she gave Jonghyun. Rather than sitting down to fill out his papers, he heads right for the elevators. He must have an earlier appointment than Jonghyun.
“He’s leaving,” Melody whines, rising. She looks up at Jonghyun, distraught. “Do something!”
Jonghyun shrugs, pulls his baseball cap down over his eyes, and settles back into his seat. He’s been waiting for almost an hour and he’s too tired to chase after random strangers whom his daemon happens to take an interest in.
“Oh, you,” Melody huffs, exasperated. “Fine. But I’m not letting him go so easily.”
Jonghyun jerks upright as he feels a sudden tug inside his chest. He lifts his cap and sees his daemon trotting off towards the other boy.
“Melody!” he hisses. The pulling sensation grows stronger as his daemon moves further away. “Melody, get back here!”
His daemon, however, chooses to ignore him and intercepts the boy before he reaches the elevators. She places herself directly in the boy's path and sits. As she gazes up at him, her tail whips back and forth so furiously across the floor that Jonghyun is surprised it doesn't polish the marble.
The boy stops, obviously bewildered by the daemon’s sudden appearance. The ocelot stretched across his shoulders unwinds, her back arching, wary.
Melody crouches into a play bow, front limbs extended as she raises her rump high in the air. She barks, tail still wagging.
The boy relaxes, smiling, and oh-Jonghyun sees it now, why his daemon likes him.
“Hello, there,” the boy says, stooping down. Jonghyun gets to his feet, about to head over and apologize for Melody's strange behavior. But then, the boy does the unthinkable.
He reaches out a hand and touches Jonghyun’s daemon.
Barring his family, no one ever touches his daemon. Like most parents, his mother and father had taught him at an early age that other people's daemons were never to be handled. Jonghyun hadn't had any problems following this rule. Touching someone's else daemon's just felt wrong, though for a while he couldn't exactly pinpoint why.
He found out one day in elementary school when he got cornered by the class bully on the way home from school. In an attempt to prevent him from escaping, the bigger boy had grabbed Melody-a rabbit at the time-roughly by the ears. The loud shriek that she had let out and Jonghyun's echoing scream caused him to drop her. Later that day, Jonghyun’s mother had found him cowering in his closet, Melody clutched tightly to his chest. When she had found out what happened, she had driven him back to school and stormed the principal's office. He couldn't remember her ever being so furious.
It took some time for the intense sense of violation that Jonghyun had felt that day to fade, but he never forgot the incident. He always takes special care not to accidentally make contact with another person’s daemon. For the most part, other people do the same.
As the boy reaches out towards Melody, Jonghyun opens his mouth, about to shout out a warning. However, his protest dies in his throat the moment the boy lays his hands on his daemon.
Jonghyun is completely unprepared for the sensation that hits him. It starts as a spark of warmth that tingles up his spine and blooms throughout his chest. He stumbles, suddenly short of breath. His daemon closes her eyes and lets the boy massage her ears.
Whenever his mother, his sister, or-on rare occasion-his father have ever touched his daemon, it had been always been brief. Their touches were light and affectionate, and they had brought a sense of comfort and calm, soothing him when he felt sick or distressed.
The feeling that hits him now is anything but soothing. But it’s not bad feeling. In fact, it’s almost obscene in how pleasurable it is. On the outside, it looks like a boy is just petting a friendly dog. On the inside, Jonghyun’s blood is roiling in his veins. His face becomes flushed and his palms clammy. He licks his lips, not sure when his mouth had gotten so dry.
The boy continues running his unfamiliar, magical hands all over Melody, completely unaware that he is liquefying Jonghyun in the most excruciatingly exquisite way possible. Every nerve ending on Jonghyun skin feels alive, to the point where he’s acutely aware of the way the tag on his undershirt is digging into his side.
He realizes-with a sudden burst of humiliation-that he's getting hard.
To his ever increasing mortification, Melody flops on to the ground and rolls over on her back, paws in the air, inviting the boy to rub her belly.
A flood of horror spurs Jonghyun into action. He storms up to them and shouts, "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The boy's eyes snap up as Jonghyun approaches. For a moment, his gaze ping pongs back and forth between Jonghyun and the dog lying on the ground before he makes the connection. His mouth drops open in a small surprised "O" and he snatches his hand away as if burned.
"Sorry," he mumbles, flustered. "I didn't know."
"You make it a habit of groping every stray animal that comes up to you?" Jonghyun asks, his embarrassment making him snide. He has his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his hoodie, pulling down the front to hide any incriminating evidence.
Melody makes a displeased sound in her throat. The ocelot on the boy's shoulder growls, ears flattening against her small skull as the boy's eyes grow cold and his entire body tenses.
“I didn't grope her," he snaps. "And I wouldn't have touched her in the first place if I had known she was yours. Maybe you should consider keeping your daemon on a leash."
Before Jonghyun can formulate a properly scathing comeback, the elevator dings and the door slides open. The boy turns on his heels and walks in, punching the button of his floor with much more force than necessary. As the doors shut, he and his daemon shoot Jonghyun a double set of glares.
The moment they’re gone, Jonghyun turns to Melody.
"What was that all about?" he asks, frowning. It's not like his daemon hasn't ever disobeyed him before--she is his daemon after all--but she's also never gone out of her way to initiate an encounter with a stranger.
Melody, however, doesn't seem at all apologetic. Tongue lolling out of her mouth, eyes unfocused, she's grins up at him dreamily.
"That was amazing," she says, sounding dazed.
"What's the hell. Are you high?" Jonghyun asks, incredulous
Before Jonghyun can properly reprimand her, the phone in his back pocket begins to buzz and ring. It’s his mother.
“Mom, where are you?” he says.
"Darling, I’m so sorry!" His mother sounds frustrated and frantic. “There was an accident or something on the road and now I’m stuck in traffic. I don’t think I’ll make it in time.”
Jonghyun’s heart sinks. His mother had been his rock and foundation these past few months. Without her, he feels suddenly adrift.
He swallows and says, “Don’t worry about it. Just drive safely. Parents are allowed in the trial room anyway.”
“I know but-“ she cuts off, pausing to yell at another driver. Jonghyun hears her pygmy owl daemon screeching in annoyance nearby. “I wanted to at least see you off.” Her tone gentles. “Even if I can’t be there, I want you to do your best, sweetie. And remember that no matter what happens, I will always love you and believe in you.”
“Thanks, mom,” Jonghyun says thickly. He hangs up before he can get any more emotional. Steeling himself, he tells Melody, “We better get going then.”
She looks up at him expectantly, awaiting his instructions.
Jonghyun grins at her. “Let’s kick this in the ass, alright?”
She barks enthusiastically and follows him into the elevator. Together, they ascend.
~*~
Jonghyun has little problem finding room 305. There are already three other people there, competition whom he scopes out as he enters.
Two of his rivals are boys, all of who look bigger and older than Jonghyun. He’s dismayed to find that Melody is by far the most inconspicuous daemon in the room. However, she is also the least jittery which gives him hope. The immense golden eagle sitting on a stand in the corner is clearly agitated. Her human strokes her feathers, trying to stop her from puffing up. The other boy paces the room, shadowed at the heels by a sleek Doberman Pinscher.
Jonghyun finds a seat next to the only girl in the room. She looks to be around his age. When he settles next to her, she looks up from the book she's reading and gives him a shy smile. Jonghyun smiles back. She’s cute, her bangs cut and styled to frame a sweet heart-shaped face.
Sure she’s his competition, but he’s always been weak to a pretty smile.
“Hi,” he says. He blinks at her, sensing something amiss. He searches around her and finds no trace of a daemon. "Um, not to be nosy or anything, but where's your demon?"
He expects her to pull something out of her purse or pocket, but instead she grins, dimpling, and turns her head. Resting on the side of her headband is a brilliant blue morpho butterfly.
Jonghyun had mistaken it for a piece of her accessory, but as it folds up its wings, the illusion is shattered.
"He suits you," he remarks as the butterfly floats down to her shoulder.
She blushes a fetching shade of pink. "Thank you." She looks down at Melody. "Your daemon is quite lovely as well."
Melody turns her head and winks. The girl laughs delightedly. Jonghyun pats his daemon on the head, grinning. A person with a cute daemon has no need for a wingman.
As they wait to be called, Jonghyun and the girl, her name is Minji discus about their hopes for the future. Like him, Minji is in middle school and hopes to be a singer. He learns that her daemon’s name is Rainbow and she’s worried because there aren’t a lot of insect daemons in the music industry.
Jonghyun is in the middle of reassuring her when without warning, the golden eagle daemon cocks her head and lets out a loud, piercing screech, startling the others in the room.
The back door opens. A young woman enters, her fox daemon slinking in as well. She adjusts her glasses and examines the clipboard in her hand. “Kang Jaebum?”
The boy with the Doberman Pinscher stops pacing. “That’s me.”
“Kim Jonghyun?”
Jonghyun straightens. “Here.”
The woman checks their names off the list, collects their signed waivers, and motions for them to follow her. Jonghyun waves goodbye to Minji and wishes her luck. Then the door shuts behind them.
They’re taken to a large, empty conference room. In the center of the room, two parallel lanes are marked off with masking tape. On one side, the lanes have been marked to measure distance, 30 meters in total. At around the halfway mark, there’s a table with four people. Jonghyun recognizes one of them as the scout who convinced him to audition.
A young man clad in a polo shirt and jeans stands up when Jonghyun and Jaebum enter. He smiles brightly when he sees their glum faces.
“There’s no need to look like that. You guys will be fine! I’m Park Dongwon. I’m the head coordinator for SM’s distance trials.” He indicates two of the other people sitting at the table. “Maybe you know one of them. These two here also work for SM. They’ll be helping with the judging today. Also, this is Nurse Jung.” He points to the matronly-looking woman at the far end. “If you aren’t feeling well, she’ll be here to take care of you.”
He claps his hands together. “Now, the reason we do these trials because we can’t very well have our entertainers performing while their daemon runs around on stage. It detracts from the quality of the show, which is why we keep daemons backstage during performances. Today, we’re going to be testing you and your daemon’s attachment to see if it’s flexible enough. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you before we start, it’s know your limits. Don’t push yourself too hard and make yourself sick. Just do your best and don’t worry about the person in the other lane. In my view, you guys are all winners for making it this far!”
The lie makes Jonghyun and his competitor shift uncomfortably. They both know the real winner would be determined shortly.
As per instruction, the two boys lead their daemons to separate lanes, positioning themselves at the 0 meter mark. The judges settle at their table and after a beat of paper shuffling, Mr. Park shouts, “Alright, whenever you two are ready, feel free to start.”
The other boy steps forward confidently, his daemon making no move to follow him at all. Jonghyun takes a deep breath and does the same. Melody, knowing her part, stays put at the starting line.
As Jonghyun walks away, he tries to act as casual as possible. The first few meters barely phase him. When he gets to the sixth, though, he feels that familiar, tightening inside his chest. He’s seized with the desire to look back. Usually, when they practiced, Jonghyun walked backwards facing Melody so that he could shout words of encouragement at her, telling her to stand her ground as the resistance between them grew more taught and more painful. Now, he fixes his gaze on a point on the far wall and wills himself to move, trusting Melody not to budge from her spot.
He starts to slow down at fifteen meters. By then, he has to concentrate on breathing to stave off the crushing feeling of constriction building up inside his chest.
Jaebum has slowed down as well. He and Jonghyun are about level now, both of them taking careful, measured steps forward.
Nineteen meters. Jonghyun can feel his heart hammering inside his rib cage like it’s struggling to break free. Sweat trickles down his temple and the nape of his neck in steady rivulets. The distance between him and his demon digs into him like a giant splinter embedded into the base of his skull, one he hammers in with every move forward. He needs to remember to breathe, but his lungs feel crushed by the hollow ache yawning at the center of his being.
He has to keep moving. Everything depends on this.
He takes another shaky step.
Twenty meters. He made it.
Panting, Jonghyun looks back, the surge of success giving him temporary relief from the pain. He smiles triumphantly at the judges, but they stare back at him cooly, continuing to observe.
Confused, Jonghyun looks over at Jaebum. He’s reached the twenty meter mark as well. The other boy’s face is flushed with exertion, his breathing shallow and ragged. They wait for instructions to turn back but receive none.
Slowly, realization dawns upon them. Jonghyun looks in the other boy’s eyes and sees his own dread mirrored back at him.
Together, they take another step.
Twenty-one meters.
Jonghyun tells himself it’s just another meter, but at this distance, he has to strain again every centimeter fighting against him. His vision begins to blur at the edges. The ground doesn’t seem steady anymore. He blink, ring to clear the disorientation. He has to fight to stay standing.
Twenty-two meters.
Beside Jonghyun, Jaebum is still walking but he’s in poor condition. His face is pale and he drinks in big gulps of air as he struggles to fight the pull of his daemon. Jonghyun is breathing more evenly, but the back of his shirt is drenched with sweat. He supposes he doesn’t look very flattering either.
Twenty-three meters.
Jaebum vomits. Jonghyun looks away, but the acrid smell still hits him and makes him gag. He hears the sound of a chair moving and hushed angry dialogue. Nurse Jung has gotten out of her seat but she’s being asked to stay still. Miraculously, Jaebum doesn’t collapse then and there. He just wipes his mouth with his hand, wipes his hand on his jeans, and inches forward.
Twenty-four meters.
Jonghyun feels like his entire body is going to split open. In the distance, he can hears Melody start whining for him to return. Each step feels like opening a new tear inside of him.
“Don’t move!” he shouts. They can’t throw in the towel like this. Not when they’ve come this far.
He thinks about becoming a singer, about performing on a massive stage to roar of thousands. He has a dream. Dreams don’t come cheap he has to suck it up and keep moving.
Twenty-four and a half meters.
Jaebum falls to his knees. With a high whine of distress, his daemon caves and bolts across the room.
“No!” Nurse Jung stands up, her chair squeaking across the tile floor.
Her warning comes too late. The mental recoil from being rejoined with his daemon so quickly after a prolonged period of separation leaves both Jaebum and his daemon reeling. Jaebum keels over and his daemon staggers, weaving in a drunken path towards him.
Nurse Jung rushes to check his status. Jonghyun can’t pay them any mind, doesn’t pay them any mind, as he crosses the twenty-five meter threshold alone.
He sinks to his knees in relief, turns around and gestures weakly towards his daemon. “Melody. Come.”
She gets to her feet and begins the long journey over. She trots slowly enough that the awful tension built inside Jonghyun doesn’t unravel too quickly and overwhelm him. The pain dulls to a still considerable but thankfully tolerable throb by the time she arrives.
Jonghyun throws his arms around her and buries his face in her neck.
“You were fantastic,” he says.
“Jonghyun.” The sad and distressed note in her voice breaks his heart. “Jonghyun, that was too far. I almost couldn’t feel you. Don’t leave me like that. Don’t you ever leave me like that again, okay? Don’t ever go that far again.”
He can’t catch his breath quickly enough to promise her anything.
~*~
Jaebum ends up being fine but Nurse Jung takes him aside for continued observation. Now that the trial is over, Jonghyun is free to go. The first place he wants to go the most after the trial is the bathroom.
He pushes the door open and freezes with he hears a voice, a distinctly female voice talking. For a moment, he wonders if he's stumbled into the ladies room but a glance and the sign on the door proves that's he's in the right place.
"Those bastards," the voice hisses angrily. It's coming from one of the stalls in the back. "I should go back there and claw their faces off. See how they like feeling torn apart."
Whomever the voice is talking to doesn't reply. There's a brief moment of silence followed by the sound of someone retching. Jonghyun grimaces and heads over to one of the urinals.
"Forget about it," another voice, this one male, rasps. Someone talking to their daemon, Jonghyun realizes.
Since his mother taught his it’s impolite to eavesdrops on private daemon conversations, Jonghyun goes about his own business, shutting out the sounds of the two voices in the stall. As he finishes relieving himself, he hears a flush and then the stall door at the room unlocks. A small, spotted cat strolls out, trailed behind by a familiar face-the boy whom Jonghyun had met in the lobby.
Upon seeing Jonghyun, the other boy groans. “You again? Haven’t I suffered enough already?”
Jonghyun wants to snap back with an appropriate comeback about not being anymore happy to see the daemon molester. But he's still positioned in front of a urinal with his dick in his hand, so there’s a high chance that the effect of any witty rejoinder he can conjure up will be lost in the context of the situation.
The other boy also looks he’s been through hell. Jonghyun can sympathize.
“They made you go over twenty too, didn’t they?” he says.
The boy’s fierce expression softens. The haunted look in his eyes gives all the answers Jonghyun he needs.
“When did you stop?” Jonghyun prods. “I got to twenty-five.”
The boy picks up his daemon, cradling her with her arms.
“Thirty,” he mumbles.
“Thirty?” Jonghyun mouth goes slack. “What are you? Some kind of shaman?”
That gets the other boy to crack a smile. He presses a kiss to top of his purring daemon’s head. “One of the judges asked the same thing.”
"Say, where are you from?" Jonghyun asks. The boy has an accent he's trying desperately to hide, but the longer he talks Jonghyun, the more he can hear the distinction between their words.
"Daegu," the boy replies.
“Woah, that’s pretty far,” Jonghyun says, impressed.
“I took the train here this morning. By myself.” Jonghyun finds the note of pride in the other boy’s voice endearing.
“You don’t have relatives here, do you?” he asks.
“I do. My aunt lives near Sinchon. She and her family are on vacation though. She’s still letting me stay in her apartment while she’s gone.” He strokes his daemon’s head. “I had trouble finding the place. There are so many apartments here. It’s my first time in Seoul by myself.
There’s something about the way the other boy’s voice goes small and just a tiny bit fearful for moment that makes Jonghyun say, “Well, if you don’t have anything to do, why don’t you join me and my family for dinner?”
The other boy’s eyes go wide. “Really?”
“My mom said she would be taking me and my sister to eat kalbi tonight to celebrate. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you tagged along.”
The other boy is still hesitant. “Are you sure?”
“Of course,” Jonghyun insists. “After all we’ve been through today, don’t we deserve a little barbeque?” he says.
Something nudges Jonghyun’s hand. It’s Melody. She’s practically vibrating with excitement at the sight of the other boy.
“Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce us. My name is Kim Jonghyun.” He gestures at the dog wagging in front of him. “And you’ve already met Melody.”
Melody barks happily. She seems barely able to hold in her desire to jump on and lick the other boy.
“Hi, Melody,” the boy says, smiling. "This is my daemon Jin.” He sets his daemon down on the ground. Melody comes over to sniff the ocelot but Jin makes a terrible rumbling growl that causes Jonghyun’s daemon to backpedal.
“She’s not really friendly,” the other boy confesses, scooping her up again. “Oh, I’m Kim Kibum by the way. But there were so many Kibums on the list when I auditioned that I wrote in my name as ‘Key.’”
“It’s nice to meet you, Key.” Jonghyun grins. A wild idea latches onto him. “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if we’re in the same group? That would be crazy, right?”
Key rolls his eyes. “Don’t get to ahead of yourself.”
~*~
Author: dubu_dubu
Pairing: pre-Jonghyun/Key
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word Count: 4,800
Twenty Five Meters
A wet nose nudging at his hand snaps Jonghyun from his reverie. He takes off his headphones and gives his daemon a questioning look. “What is it?”
Melody sets her head on his knee and gazes up at him. “Nothing,” she sighs, but her drooping tail and ears belie her anxiety.
Jonghyun glances at the clock hanging above the reception desk. Only fifteen more minutes to go.
He reaches down and gives his daemon a reassuring scratch behind the ears. “We’ll be fine, girl. We made it to twenty meters before.”
“I know,” she huffs, settling back onto the ground and resting her head on her front paws. “I just hate this.”
Jonghyun agrees. It took them three months to get to twenty meters, three months of agonizing practice at the public park near their home. They only ever went late in the night when there was less of a chance of nosy neighbors prying into their business. The quiet had also helped him concentrate, letting him focus all his energy on overcoming the excruciating pain of separation.
Now, here they are, sitting in the lobby of SM Entertainment's headquarters. He's the only person present at the moment besides the receptionist, an immaculately dressed woman who has her hair pulled back in a tight bun, her little terrier daemon snoozing under her chair.
Jonghyun slides his headphones back on. The sound of SG Wannabe’s crooning fills his head, but his thoughts stray to the daemon at his feet.
With her silky, patchwork coat and bright, cornflower blue eyes, Melody is by no means an unattractive daemon. She had settled the day of his thirteenth birthday. He had been unsurprised to wake up to the sight of an Australian shepherd lying at the foot of his bed-Melody had always favored dog forms-but as he reached for her, he knew in his heart with inexplicable certainty that she would never change form again.
"Is this okay?" she had asked, hungry for his approval. She was a worrier. His mother often said his daemon did all his worrying for him.
Jonghyun had stroked her pointed face and smiled. "It's perfect.”
He had said it because it was true. Melody was his other half, closer to him than his own shadow, his own skin. He would have loved her no matter what form she had taken.
However, as he sits in SM’s lobby looking at her sweet but rather unastonishing appearance, Jonghyun feels a twinge of worry.
He knows that despite vehemently denying accusations of prejudice, entertainment companies have a habit of recruiting singers and dancers with exotic and impressive-looking daemons. He thinks of Yunho's wolf daemon and the leopard daemon that always trails behind his band member, Changmin. He's heard there's even a YG trainee with a white tiger daemon. Visuals are a big part of the industry and it would be foolish to think his daemon's appearance will not be a factor when he’s judged. In preparation for today, Jonghyun had brushed Melody's coat to a gleaming shine, but no amount of grooming would hide the fact that she's just a dog daemon.
Still, the SM talent scout had been the one to approach Jonghyun and offer him the chance to become a singer. The company must see something in him to let him this far. He had used his strongest asset, his voice, to power through the first two rounds of auditions. But everyone knows that's it's the third round, the distance trial, that could change everything.
Jonghyun slumps back in his seat and rubs his eyes. He's exhausted from school and the seemingly endless subway ride it took to get to here. He also managed to fit in two practice runs with Melody before he got on the train, and as always, they were draining.
There's really no point in worrying now he tells himself as he scrolls through his playlist. There's nothing he can do until it’s his turn.
Melody raises her head, perked ears swiveling toward the entrance of the building.
Jonghyun takes off his headphones again. “What is it now?”
She doesn’t answer him. Her attention is fixed on the doors, where another boy is passing through.
Jonghyun's eyebrows climb upward as he takes in the newcomer's appearance. The boy has his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his baggy, white pants. Matching suspenders dangle from his hips. The zipper of his black hoodie is drawn low, revealing a white tank underneath. Draped around his neck is what Jonghyun first assumes to be a lumpy scarf, but upon looking more closely, he realizes that it's actually the boy's daemon, some sort of wild cat.
“Jonghyun,” Melody says, sounding rapturous. “Oh, Jonghyun, look at him. He’s lovely.”
“I’m looking,” Jonghyun mutters, watching furtively as the boy walks past them. He’s not exactly sure what has gotten his daemon so worked up. The boy has a sharp, haughty face, with thick brows and a small, dainty stub of a nose. Jonghyun thinks the most remarkable thing about him is his daemon, which upon closer examination, reveals itself to be a young ocelot.
Both the boy and his daemon ignore Jonghyun and Melody as they make their way towards the reception desk. He must also be a candidate for the trial because the receptionist hands him the same waivers that she gave Jonghyun. Rather than sitting down to fill out his papers, he heads right for the elevators. He must have an earlier appointment than Jonghyun.
“He’s leaving,” Melody whines, rising. She looks up at Jonghyun, distraught. “Do something!”
Jonghyun shrugs, pulls his baseball cap down over his eyes, and settles back into his seat. He’s been waiting for almost an hour and he’s too tired to chase after random strangers whom his daemon happens to take an interest in.
“Oh, you,” Melody huffs, exasperated. “Fine. But I’m not letting him go so easily.”
Jonghyun jerks upright as he feels a sudden tug inside his chest. He lifts his cap and sees his daemon trotting off towards the other boy.
“Melody!” he hisses. The pulling sensation grows stronger as his daemon moves further away. “Melody, get back here!”
His daemon, however, chooses to ignore him and intercepts the boy before he reaches the elevators. She places herself directly in the boy's path and sits. As she gazes up at him, her tail whips back and forth so furiously across the floor that Jonghyun is surprised it doesn't polish the marble.
The boy stops, obviously bewildered by the daemon’s sudden appearance. The ocelot stretched across his shoulders unwinds, her back arching, wary.
Melody crouches into a play bow, front limbs extended as she raises her rump high in the air. She barks, tail still wagging.
The boy relaxes, smiling, and oh-Jonghyun sees it now, why his daemon likes him.
“Hello, there,” the boy says, stooping down. Jonghyun gets to his feet, about to head over and apologize for Melody's strange behavior. But then, the boy does the unthinkable.
He reaches out a hand and touches Jonghyun’s daemon.
Barring his family, no one ever touches his daemon. Like most parents, his mother and father had taught him at an early age that other people's daemons were never to be handled. Jonghyun hadn't had any problems following this rule. Touching someone's else daemon's just felt wrong, though for a while he couldn't exactly pinpoint why.
He found out one day in elementary school when he got cornered by the class bully on the way home from school. In an attempt to prevent him from escaping, the bigger boy had grabbed Melody-a rabbit at the time-roughly by the ears. The loud shriek that she had let out and Jonghyun's echoing scream caused him to drop her. Later that day, Jonghyun’s mother had found him cowering in his closet, Melody clutched tightly to his chest. When she had found out what happened, she had driven him back to school and stormed the principal's office. He couldn't remember her ever being so furious.
It took some time for the intense sense of violation that Jonghyun had felt that day to fade, but he never forgot the incident. He always takes special care not to accidentally make contact with another person’s daemon. For the most part, other people do the same.
As the boy reaches out towards Melody, Jonghyun opens his mouth, about to shout out a warning. However, his protest dies in his throat the moment the boy lays his hands on his daemon.
Jonghyun is completely unprepared for the sensation that hits him. It starts as a spark of warmth that tingles up his spine and blooms throughout his chest. He stumbles, suddenly short of breath. His daemon closes her eyes and lets the boy massage her ears.
Whenever his mother, his sister, or-on rare occasion-his father have ever touched his daemon, it had been always been brief. Their touches were light and affectionate, and they had brought a sense of comfort and calm, soothing him when he felt sick or distressed.
The feeling that hits him now is anything but soothing. But it’s not bad feeling. In fact, it’s almost obscene in how pleasurable it is. On the outside, it looks like a boy is just petting a friendly dog. On the inside, Jonghyun’s blood is roiling in his veins. His face becomes flushed and his palms clammy. He licks his lips, not sure when his mouth had gotten so dry.
The boy continues running his unfamiliar, magical hands all over Melody, completely unaware that he is liquefying Jonghyun in the most excruciatingly exquisite way possible. Every nerve ending on Jonghyun skin feels alive, to the point where he’s acutely aware of the way the tag on his undershirt is digging into his side.
He realizes-with a sudden burst of humiliation-that he's getting hard.
To his ever increasing mortification, Melody flops on to the ground and rolls over on her back, paws in the air, inviting the boy to rub her belly.
A flood of horror spurs Jonghyun into action. He storms up to them and shouts, "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The boy's eyes snap up as Jonghyun approaches. For a moment, his gaze ping pongs back and forth between Jonghyun and the dog lying on the ground before he makes the connection. His mouth drops open in a small surprised "O" and he snatches his hand away as if burned.
"Sorry," he mumbles, flustered. "I didn't know."
"You make it a habit of groping every stray animal that comes up to you?" Jonghyun asks, his embarrassment making him snide. He has his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his hoodie, pulling down the front to hide any incriminating evidence.
Melody makes a displeased sound in her throat. The ocelot on the boy's shoulder growls, ears flattening against her small skull as the boy's eyes grow cold and his entire body tenses.
“I didn't grope her," he snaps. "And I wouldn't have touched her in the first place if I had known she was yours. Maybe you should consider keeping your daemon on a leash."
Before Jonghyun can formulate a properly scathing comeback, the elevator dings and the door slides open. The boy turns on his heels and walks in, punching the button of his floor with much more force than necessary. As the doors shut, he and his daemon shoot Jonghyun a double set of glares.
The moment they’re gone, Jonghyun turns to Melody.
"What was that all about?" he asks, frowning. It's not like his daemon hasn't ever disobeyed him before--she is his daemon after all--but she's also never gone out of her way to initiate an encounter with a stranger.
Melody, however, doesn't seem at all apologetic. Tongue lolling out of her mouth, eyes unfocused, she's grins up at him dreamily.
"That was amazing," she says, sounding dazed.
"What's the hell. Are you high?" Jonghyun asks, incredulous
Before Jonghyun can properly reprimand her, the phone in his back pocket begins to buzz and ring. It’s his mother.
“Mom, where are you?” he says.
"Darling, I’m so sorry!" His mother sounds frustrated and frantic. “There was an accident or something on the road and now I’m stuck in traffic. I don’t think I’ll make it in time.”
Jonghyun’s heart sinks. His mother had been his rock and foundation these past few months. Without her, he feels suddenly adrift.
He swallows and says, “Don’t worry about it. Just drive safely. Parents are allowed in the trial room anyway.”
“I know but-“ she cuts off, pausing to yell at another driver. Jonghyun hears her pygmy owl daemon screeching in annoyance nearby. “I wanted to at least see you off.” Her tone gentles. “Even if I can’t be there, I want you to do your best, sweetie. And remember that no matter what happens, I will always love you and believe in you.”
“Thanks, mom,” Jonghyun says thickly. He hangs up before he can get any more emotional. Steeling himself, he tells Melody, “We better get going then.”
She looks up at him expectantly, awaiting his instructions.
Jonghyun grins at her. “Let’s kick this in the ass, alright?”
She barks enthusiastically and follows him into the elevator. Together, they ascend.
~*~
Jonghyun has little problem finding room 305. There are already three other people there, competition whom he scopes out as he enters.
Two of his rivals are boys, all of who look bigger and older than Jonghyun. He’s dismayed to find that Melody is by far the most inconspicuous daemon in the room. However, she is also the least jittery which gives him hope. The immense golden eagle sitting on a stand in the corner is clearly agitated. Her human strokes her feathers, trying to stop her from puffing up. The other boy paces the room, shadowed at the heels by a sleek Doberman Pinscher.
Jonghyun finds a seat next to the only girl in the room. She looks to be around his age. When he settles next to her, she looks up from the book she's reading and gives him a shy smile. Jonghyun smiles back. She’s cute, her bangs cut and styled to frame a sweet heart-shaped face.
Sure she’s his competition, but he’s always been weak to a pretty smile.
“Hi,” he says. He blinks at her, sensing something amiss. He searches around her and finds no trace of a daemon. "Um, not to be nosy or anything, but where's your demon?"
He expects her to pull something out of her purse or pocket, but instead she grins, dimpling, and turns her head. Resting on the side of her headband is a brilliant blue morpho butterfly.
Jonghyun had mistaken it for a piece of her accessory, but as it folds up its wings, the illusion is shattered.
"He suits you," he remarks as the butterfly floats down to her shoulder.
She blushes a fetching shade of pink. "Thank you." She looks down at Melody. "Your daemon is quite lovely as well."
Melody turns her head and winks. The girl laughs delightedly. Jonghyun pats his daemon on the head, grinning. A person with a cute daemon has no need for a wingman.
As they wait to be called, Jonghyun and the girl, her name is Minji discus about their hopes for the future. Like him, Minji is in middle school and hopes to be a singer. He learns that her daemon’s name is Rainbow and she’s worried because there aren’t a lot of insect daemons in the music industry.
Jonghyun is in the middle of reassuring her when without warning, the golden eagle daemon cocks her head and lets out a loud, piercing screech, startling the others in the room.
The back door opens. A young woman enters, her fox daemon slinking in as well. She adjusts her glasses and examines the clipboard in her hand. “Kang Jaebum?”
The boy with the Doberman Pinscher stops pacing. “That’s me.”
“Kim Jonghyun?”
Jonghyun straightens. “Here.”
The woman checks their names off the list, collects their signed waivers, and motions for them to follow her. Jonghyun waves goodbye to Minji and wishes her luck. Then the door shuts behind them.
They’re taken to a large, empty conference room. In the center of the room, two parallel lanes are marked off with masking tape. On one side, the lanes have been marked to measure distance, 30 meters in total. At around the halfway mark, there’s a table with four people. Jonghyun recognizes one of them as the scout who convinced him to audition.
A young man clad in a polo shirt and jeans stands up when Jonghyun and Jaebum enter. He smiles brightly when he sees their glum faces.
“There’s no need to look like that. You guys will be fine! I’m Park Dongwon. I’m the head coordinator for SM’s distance trials.” He indicates two of the other people sitting at the table. “Maybe you know one of them. These two here also work for SM. They’ll be helping with the judging today. Also, this is Nurse Jung.” He points to the matronly-looking woman at the far end. “If you aren’t feeling well, she’ll be here to take care of you.”
He claps his hands together. “Now, the reason we do these trials because we can’t very well have our entertainers performing while their daemon runs around on stage. It detracts from the quality of the show, which is why we keep daemons backstage during performances. Today, we’re going to be testing you and your daemon’s attachment to see if it’s flexible enough. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you before we start, it’s know your limits. Don’t push yourself too hard and make yourself sick. Just do your best and don’t worry about the person in the other lane. In my view, you guys are all winners for making it this far!”
The lie makes Jonghyun and his competitor shift uncomfortably. They both know the real winner would be determined shortly.
As per instruction, the two boys lead their daemons to separate lanes, positioning themselves at the 0 meter mark. The judges settle at their table and after a beat of paper shuffling, Mr. Park shouts, “Alright, whenever you two are ready, feel free to start.”
The other boy steps forward confidently, his daemon making no move to follow him at all. Jonghyun takes a deep breath and does the same. Melody, knowing her part, stays put at the starting line.
As Jonghyun walks away, he tries to act as casual as possible. The first few meters barely phase him. When he gets to the sixth, though, he feels that familiar, tightening inside his chest. He’s seized with the desire to look back. Usually, when they practiced, Jonghyun walked backwards facing Melody so that he could shout words of encouragement at her, telling her to stand her ground as the resistance between them grew more taught and more painful. Now, he fixes his gaze on a point on the far wall and wills himself to move, trusting Melody not to budge from her spot.
He starts to slow down at fifteen meters. By then, he has to concentrate on breathing to stave off the crushing feeling of constriction building up inside his chest.
Jaebum has slowed down as well. He and Jonghyun are about level now, both of them taking careful, measured steps forward.
Nineteen meters. Jonghyun can feel his heart hammering inside his rib cage like it’s struggling to break free. Sweat trickles down his temple and the nape of his neck in steady rivulets. The distance between him and his demon digs into him like a giant splinter embedded into the base of his skull, one he hammers in with every move forward. He needs to remember to breathe, but his lungs feel crushed by the hollow ache yawning at the center of his being.
He has to keep moving. Everything depends on this.
He takes another shaky step.
Twenty meters. He made it.
Panting, Jonghyun looks back, the surge of success giving him temporary relief from the pain. He smiles triumphantly at the judges, but they stare back at him cooly, continuing to observe.
Confused, Jonghyun looks over at Jaebum. He’s reached the twenty meter mark as well. The other boy’s face is flushed with exertion, his breathing shallow and ragged. They wait for instructions to turn back but receive none.
Slowly, realization dawns upon them. Jonghyun looks in the other boy’s eyes and sees his own dread mirrored back at him.
Together, they take another step.
Twenty-one meters.
Jonghyun tells himself it’s just another meter, but at this distance, he has to strain again every centimeter fighting against him. His vision begins to blur at the edges. The ground doesn’t seem steady anymore. He blink, ring to clear the disorientation. He has to fight to stay standing.
Twenty-two meters.
Beside Jonghyun, Jaebum is still walking but he’s in poor condition. His face is pale and he drinks in big gulps of air as he struggles to fight the pull of his daemon. Jonghyun is breathing more evenly, but the back of his shirt is drenched with sweat. He supposes he doesn’t look very flattering either.
Twenty-three meters.
Jaebum vomits. Jonghyun looks away, but the acrid smell still hits him and makes him gag. He hears the sound of a chair moving and hushed angry dialogue. Nurse Jung has gotten out of her seat but she’s being asked to stay still. Miraculously, Jaebum doesn’t collapse then and there. He just wipes his mouth with his hand, wipes his hand on his jeans, and inches forward.
Twenty-four meters.
Jonghyun feels like his entire body is going to split open. In the distance, he can hears Melody start whining for him to return. Each step feels like opening a new tear inside of him.
“Don’t move!” he shouts. They can’t throw in the towel like this. Not when they’ve come this far.
He thinks about becoming a singer, about performing on a massive stage to roar of thousands. He has a dream. Dreams don’t come cheap he has to suck it up and keep moving.
Twenty-four and a half meters.
Jaebum falls to his knees. With a high whine of distress, his daemon caves and bolts across the room.
“No!” Nurse Jung stands up, her chair squeaking across the tile floor.
Her warning comes too late. The mental recoil from being rejoined with his daemon so quickly after a prolonged period of separation leaves both Jaebum and his daemon reeling. Jaebum keels over and his daemon staggers, weaving in a drunken path towards him.
Nurse Jung rushes to check his status. Jonghyun can’t pay them any mind, doesn’t pay them any mind, as he crosses the twenty-five meter threshold alone.
He sinks to his knees in relief, turns around and gestures weakly towards his daemon. “Melody. Come.”
She gets to her feet and begins the long journey over. She trots slowly enough that the awful tension built inside Jonghyun doesn’t unravel too quickly and overwhelm him. The pain dulls to a still considerable but thankfully tolerable throb by the time she arrives.
Jonghyun throws his arms around her and buries his face in her neck.
“You were fantastic,” he says.
“Jonghyun.” The sad and distressed note in her voice breaks his heart. “Jonghyun, that was too far. I almost couldn’t feel you. Don’t leave me like that. Don’t you ever leave me like that again, okay? Don’t ever go that far again.”
He can’t catch his breath quickly enough to promise her anything.
~*~
Jaebum ends up being fine but Nurse Jung takes him aside for continued observation. Now that the trial is over, Jonghyun is free to go. The first place he wants to go the most after the trial is the bathroom.
He pushes the door open and freezes with he hears a voice, a distinctly female voice talking. For a moment, he wonders if he's stumbled into the ladies room but a glance and the sign on the door proves that's he's in the right place.
"Those bastards," the voice hisses angrily. It's coming from one of the stalls in the back. "I should go back there and claw their faces off. See how they like feeling torn apart."
Whomever the voice is talking to doesn't reply. There's a brief moment of silence followed by the sound of someone retching. Jonghyun grimaces and heads over to one of the urinals.
"Forget about it," another voice, this one male, rasps. Someone talking to their daemon, Jonghyun realizes.
Since his mother taught his it’s impolite to eavesdrops on private daemon conversations, Jonghyun goes about his own business, shutting out the sounds of the two voices in the stall. As he finishes relieving himself, he hears a flush and then the stall door at the room unlocks. A small, spotted cat strolls out, trailed behind by a familiar face-the boy whom Jonghyun had met in the lobby.
Upon seeing Jonghyun, the other boy groans. “You again? Haven’t I suffered enough already?”
Jonghyun wants to snap back with an appropriate comeback about not being anymore happy to see the daemon molester. But he's still positioned in front of a urinal with his dick in his hand, so there’s a high chance that the effect of any witty rejoinder he can conjure up will be lost in the context of the situation.
The other boy also looks he’s been through hell. Jonghyun can sympathize.
“They made you go over twenty too, didn’t they?” he says.
The boy’s fierce expression softens. The haunted look in his eyes gives all the answers Jonghyun he needs.
“When did you stop?” Jonghyun prods. “I got to twenty-five.”
The boy picks up his daemon, cradling her with her arms.
“Thirty,” he mumbles.
“Thirty?” Jonghyun mouth goes slack. “What are you? Some kind of shaman?”
That gets the other boy to crack a smile. He presses a kiss to top of his purring daemon’s head. “One of the judges asked the same thing.”
"Say, where are you from?" Jonghyun asks. The boy has an accent he's trying desperately to hide, but the longer he talks Jonghyun, the more he can hear the distinction between their words.
"Daegu," the boy replies.
“Woah, that’s pretty far,” Jonghyun says, impressed.
“I took the train here this morning. By myself.” Jonghyun finds the note of pride in the other boy’s voice endearing.
“You don’t have relatives here, do you?” he asks.
“I do. My aunt lives near Sinchon. She and her family are on vacation though. She’s still letting me stay in her apartment while she’s gone.” He strokes his daemon’s head. “I had trouble finding the place. There are so many apartments here. It’s my first time in Seoul by myself.
There’s something about the way the other boy’s voice goes small and just a tiny bit fearful for moment that makes Jonghyun say, “Well, if you don’t have anything to do, why don’t you join me and my family for dinner?”
The other boy’s eyes go wide. “Really?”
“My mom said she would be taking me and my sister to eat kalbi tonight to celebrate. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you tagged along.”
The other boy is still hesitant. “Are you sure?”
“Of course,” Jonghyun insists. “After all we’ve been through today, don’t we deserve a little barbeque?” he says.
Something nudges Jonghyun’s hand. It’s Melody. She’s practically vibrating with excitement at the sight of the other boy.
“Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce us. My name is Kim Jonghyun.” He gestures at the dog wagging in front of him. “And you’ve already met Melody.”
Melody barks happily. She seems barely able to hold in her desire to jump on and lick the other boy.
“Hi, Melody,” the boy says, smiling. "This is my daemon Jin.” He sets his daemon down on the ground. Melody comes over to sniff the ocelot but Jin makes a terrible rumbling growl that causes Jonghyun’s daemon to backpedal.
“She’s not really friendly,” the other boy confesses, scooping her up again. “Oh, I’m Kim Kibum by the way. But there were so many Kibums on the list when I auditioned that I wrote in my name as ‘Key.’”
“It’s nice to meet you, Key.” Jonghyun grins. A wild idea latches onto him. “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if we’re in the same group? That would be crazy, right?”
Key rolls his eyes. “Don’t get to ahead of yourself.”
~*~