LONG ASS ENTRY!!!!
Um, a LOT has happened in the past couple days. But as for right now, this 3 year old boy that Nanette is watching has labeled me his girlfriend. ^o^
*cough* Anyways, Er I'm back with Jay. Gah, I know, I know!!! He did me wrong, and I was so set on not getting back with him... but okay... here's the deal on Monday morning, when I dropped off the registration, I asked if he would go home (he hadn't been home since I broke up with him) so I could talk to him. He was being a dick to me though, and so I left all pissed off. Then, that night, he called back apologizing, and asking if we could talk. I was too tired to go over, so I said I would pick him up after work, but I wasn't able to, so I told him to go home after work and I would talk to him that night.
So, Wednesday night, I come over. We talked... well, I talked, he sat there with that puppy dog look, and watery eyes... *melts* so he said that he loves me, not her. So I told him that I was willing to get back together, but that he needed to make sure that this Serena chick knows that they aren't in a relationship.
He was all like "She's eh about the whole thing." which instantly made me think "She's a slut..." what kind of girl sleeps with a guy knowing he has a girlfriend... and with the girlfriends NAME tattooed on him... UNLESS, this girl thought something like "Oh, he loves me, he's going to leave his girlfriend for me..." or "Its just sex." but Jay continued to tell me that she was nice... yet she didn't think they were dating (which confused me).
Sooooo, I leave and go back to Nani's, only to come back over in the morning to hang out. Well, I tell him that (1) He has to find a new job and (2) He has to call her in front of me so that I can see there's no longer something between them.
Well, he calls her, and lets me listen to the convo... He said "I'm back with my girlfriend" then she said "But what about all that stuff you told me..."
Well, I grab the phone. "Hello?" and she "Omg! *hangs up*" so I call her back, leaving a message on her answering machine like "Look, Jay made it sound like you guys just had a fling... and he told me that ya'll dont love each other. If he's been telling you otherwise, that your in a relationship or something, then he's an asshole." well she picks up the phone "He's an asshole!!!"
So we talk and whatnot, and she apologizes for breaking me and him up and saying something like "I've never done that before... I thought he was nice..." and blah blah. She's a gorgeous girl, so I'm thinking that she thought she finally found a guy who seemed nice and wanted to snatch him up. I can't blame her really...
I'm over here glaring at Jay while talking to her... saying "Your an asshole!" to him, while he sat there and grinded his teeth. Then I give him the phone, where Serena then chewed him out and whatnot... and I dunno, she was crying. >< How sad is it that I felt horrible for her???
Then he says something like "I told you I still loved her." or something "I said I wasn't sure what I was gonna do..." and blah blah blah. Well, she decides she's going to quit the Hilton so that there's no more drama. She said the only reason she was there was because of him anyways. X_x; She put in her two week notice and everything already.
I dunno... then, I told Jay that I still want to be with him (I know, I know) but that its going to take me awhile to trust him...
He says that it made him realize how much he loves me, and that he was stupid for cheating, and that he will never do it again, cause he has everything he ever wanted with me. >< And that, a lot of things about Serena reminded him of me, and that he kept thinking of me the whole time, and that it hurt twice as much to hurt me than her... and that we have history together, and all this other stuff.
Then he kept looking at me with googly eyes. O_o; He hasn't looked at me that way since our anniversary in October. And yeah... kept saying how much he loves me, and smiling at me, and just gazing at me. It was strange... lol, it felt like we had just started dating or something. ><
I dunno, its like hes JUST starting to experience what I've felt this whole time. I actually think he's growing up. Ya know?
He's actually talking to me now!!! Like, about his feelings and shit. Its sooooooooo nice, and sooooo weird at the same time.
Everything feels so... different. I dont know how to explain it.
Its still hard to touch him without thinking of her. X_x; He understands though. Its gonna be awhile.
I can't believe I actually forgave him. *shakes head* I promised myself that I wouldn't let it happen to me again, and now that it has... I'm not so mad about it. I actually feel like he learned something from this... or maybe I'm stupid. Its still hard to trust him.
Here he has this new girl, who's beautiful, fun, has one of them "fast and the furious" cars, has a good job, and a nice house... yet he wanted me back? wtf?
I mean, that kinda shit doesn't really mean much to me, but to him, that stuff used to be important. He was so materialistic...
I dunno. All I know is that he's different. He hasn't been an ass to me since Monday. I guess everyone just figures I'm setting myself up for another heartbreak... and maybe I am... but relationships are about trying to work things out, and thats what we're gonna try and do.
I know he's gonna eventually read this. Ahh, oh well, he knows its all true.
Other than that, I'm living with Nani until we get an apartment, or I wear out my welcome. ><
OH! And I got a new car. =) Its a 95' Mazda MX6... with about 85,000 miles. Its coolness... leather interior and a spoiler thingie, and a sunroof.... I dunno, I like it! lol Only cost me $3,000 so yeah, I'm excited. ^^;
haha, this lil boy Nani is watching is funny...
Fatman (his nickname): *shows me a picture of Gale Harold* Is that your boyfriend?
Me: I wish!
Fatman: Why you wish dat?
Me: Cause he's hott!!
Fatman: Well then I'm gon beat him up! Your my girl!
lmao, ahhh, 3 year olds... ><
I feel a lot better. Like, a LOT better. Once the car thing is done (insurance, registration, tags) then I can get a job... then save up for an apartment!! I'm excited. ^_^
TO ALL MY LJ FRIENDS!!!!
Thank you so much for helping me through that rough time. Without any of you guys giving me advice, and telling me it was gonna be okay, I probably would have done something I would have regreted. At the time, the whole deal was devastating, and you all helped me to gain some confidence back and get back out in the world. I love you all stax!! I wish I could give you all a million hugs! >< Er... and um, hot fries. ^^;
*cough* Anyways, Er I'm back with Jay. Gah, I know, I know!!! He did me wrong, and I was so set on not getting back with him... but okay... here's the deal on Monday morning, when I dropped off the registration, I asked if he would go home (he hadn't been home since I broke up with him) so I could talk to him. He was being a dick to me though, and so I left all pissed off. Then, that night, he called back apologizing, and asking if we could talk. I was too tired to go over, so I said I would pick him up after work, but I wasn't able to, so I told him to go home after work and I would talk to him that night.
So, Wednesday night, I come over. We talked... well, I talked, he sat there with that puppy dog look, and watery eyes... *melts* so he said that he loves me, not her. So I told him that I was willing to get back together, but that he needed to make sure that this Serena chick knows that they aren't in a relationship.
He was all like "She's eh about the whole thing." which instantly made me think "She's a slut..." what kind of girl sleeps with a guy knowing he has a girlfriend... and with the girlfriends NAME tattooed on him... UNLESS, this girl thought something like "Oh, he loves me, he's going to leave his girlfriend for me..." or "Its just sex." but Jay continued to tell me that she was nice... yet she didn't think they were dating (which confused me).
Sooooo, I leave and go back to Nani's, only to come back over in the morning to hang out. Well, I tell him that (1) He has to find a new job and (2) He has to call her in front of me so that I can see there's no longer something between them.
Well, he calls her, and lets me listen to the convo... He said "I'm back with my girlfriend" then she said "But what about all that stuff you told me..."
Well, I grab the phone. "Hello?" and she "Omg! *hangs up*" so I call her back, leaving a message on her answering machine like "Look, Jay made it sound like you guys just had a fling... and he told me that ya'll dont love each other. If he's been telling you otherwise, that your in a relationship or something, then he's an asshole." well she picks up the phone "He's an asshole!!!"
So we talk and whatnot, and she apologizes for breaking me and him up and saying something like "I've never done that before... I thought he was nice..." and blah blah. She's a gorgeous girl, so I'm thinking that she thought she finally found a guy who seemed nice and wanted to snatch him up. I can't blame her really...
I'm over here glaring at Jay while talking to her... saying "Your an asshole!" to him, while he sat there and grinded his teeth. Then I give him the phone, where Serena then chewed him out and whatnot... and I dunno, she was crying. >< How sad is it that I felt horrible for her???
Then he says something like "I told you I still loved her." or something "I said I wasn't sure what I was gonna do..." and blah blah blah. Well, she decides she's going to quit the Hilton so that there's no more drama. She said the only reason she was there was because of him anyways. X_x; She put in her two week notice and everything already.
I dunno... then, I told Jay that I still want to be with him (I know, I know) but that its going to take me awhile to trust him...
He says that it made him realize how much he loves me, and that he was stupid for cheating, and that he will never do it again, cause he has everything he ever wanted with me. >< And that, a lot of things about Serena reminded him of me, and that he kept thinking of me the whole time, and that it hurt twice as much to hurt me than her... and that we have history together, and all this other stuff.
Then he kept looking at me with googly eyes. O_o; He hasn't looked at me that way since our anniversary in October. And yeah... kept saying how much he loves me, and smiling at me, and just gazing at me. It was strange... lol, it felt like we had just started dating or something. ><
I dunno, its like hes JUST starting to experience what I've felt this whole time. I actually think he's growing up. Ya know?
He's actually talking to me now!!! Like, about his feelings and shit. Its sooooooooo nice, and sooooo weird at the same time.
Everything feels so... different. I dont know how to explain it.
Its still hard to touch him without thinking of her. X_x; He understands though. Its gonna be awhile.
I can't believe I actually forgave him. *shakes head* I promised myself that I wouldn't let it happen to me again, and now that it has... I'm not so mad about it. I actually feel like he learned something from this... or maybe I'm stupid. Its still hard to trust him.
Here he has this new girl, who's beautiful, fun, has one of them "fast and the furious" cars, has a good job, and a nice house... yet he wanted me back? wtf?
I mean, that kinda shit doesn't really mean much to me, but to him, that stuff used to be important. He was so materialistic...
I dunno. All I know is that he's different. He hasn't been an ass to me since Monday. I guess everyone just figures I'm setting myself up for another heartbreak... and maybe I am... but relationships are about trying to work things out, and thats what we're gonna try and do.
I know he's gonna eventually read this. Ahh, oh well, he knows its all true.
Other than that, I'm living with Nani until we get an apartment, or I wear out my welcome. ><
OH! And I got a new car. =) Its a 95' Mazda MX6... with about 85,000 miles. Its coolness... leather interior and a spoiler thingie, and a sunroof.... I dunno, I like it! lol Only cost me $3,000 so yeah, I'm excited. ^^;
haha, this lil boy Nani is watching is funny...
Fatman (his nickname): *shows me a picture of Gale Harold* Is that your boyfriend?
Me: I wish!
Fatman: Why you wish dat?
Me: Cause he's hott!!
Fatman: Well then I'm gon beat him up! Your my girl!
lmao, ahhh, 3 year olds... ><
I feel a lot better. Like, a LOT better. Once the car thing is done (insurance, registration, tags) then I can get a job... then save up for an apartment!! I'm excited. ^_^
TO ALL MY LJ FRIENDS!!!!
Thank you so much for helping me through that rough time. Without any of you guys giving me advice, and telling me it was gonna be okay, I probably would have done something I would have regreted. At the time, the whole deal was devastating, and you all helped me to gain some confidence back and get back out in the world. I love you all stax!! I wish I could give you all a million hugs! >< Er... and um, hot fries. ^^;