Shine
Hyoyeon remembers the first time she met Taemin. Hello noona, he had whispered shyly. She had taken an immediate liking to him. She finds out later that he’s the lead dancer, just like her. The only difference being that Taemin was loved, and she was not. But Hyoyeon tried (so, so hard) not to think about that. Soon, meeting at the dance studio after schedule seemed to become a regular routine for Hyoyeon and Taemin. No one knew of their little rendezvous. It isn’t long before Taemin starts warming up to her, greeting her with a, hey Hyo, when she walks in. Hyoyeon remembers laughing and reaching up to pinch his cheeks. No more noona? She still asks playfully every night, and always, she receives the same answer. You’re my Hyo. She loved these meetings with the younger boy. They took her mind off problems. (She wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough.) But with Taemin, she could pretend that she was a beautiful princess, and nothing else would matter. Hyoyeon doesn’t notice it, but she becomes more and more quiet; sickly thin. She barely registers it when Taemin grabs her by the shoulders one night. All she does is wince. Stop doing this to yourself, he says, and tears seep from his (pretty, oh-so-pretty) eyes. Hyoyeon cries as well. You’re a great dancer, you really are. Hyoyeon sighs. I am; but I’m not good enough
She starts to see less of Taemin after that. She sees him and Kibum in the dance studio (their dance studio). Kibum’s crying. Taemin’s holding him. Hyoyeon looks away, but she hears a faint, it’s not your fault. Taemin comes to meet her the next day. He looks tired, worn out. Still, he smiles when he sees her. You’ll be alright, won’t you, he asks. Both of them know that she doesn’t have an answer. He grabs her by the shoulders again, and Hyoyeon marvels at how strong he’s become. Promise me you’ll be alright. Promise me, he says. Hyoyeon doesn’t answer. You’ve grown up, she says instead. Taemin lets her go and heads for the exit. He gives her one last glance as he leaves. Yes I have; and you should too.
Hyoyeon finds out the next day when Lee Soo-Man himself comes to talk to them. SHINee had been disbanded. No more SHINee. No more Taemin. She swallows the lump in her throat. Why, she asks. The CEO looks at her and shakes his head. We can’t have homosexuals in the company, Hyoyeon. And it clicks. The way Kibum’s fingers lingered in between Jinki’s. The way he whispered into Jinki’s ears and they’d both smile, as if they knew something she didn’t. The way Kibum had been crying. It’s not your fault; it’s not your fault. And Hyoyeon feels sickened by herself when she realizes that really, she didn’t care. (She didn’t care about Kibum and Jinki’s problems.) She just wanted Taemin back, just Taemin. Because he is her life, and taking him away from her made her nothing, nothing.
But Hyoyeon keeps quiet (as always) and bears the pain (as always). She believes in Taemin. She believes in the words he had once whispered so lovingly into her ear. (You’ll be a star one day Hyo, but for now, you’re my star.) She will be a star. She will shine.
Hyoyeon grew up.
(Yes I have; and you should too.)
A/N: I'm just a little tired of Hyoyeon being underrated. She deserves so much more love than she's receiving right now.