Midnight Train
Jinki remembers when he first met Kibum. He had been on his way to hand his cousin his old shirt for an art project she was doing. She had been talking to Kibum when Jinki had stopped to stare. Jinki distinctly remembers blushing when Kibum had shot him a sly look and whispered (quite loudly) to his cousin. Sunny noona, he stage-whispered, there’s this guy who keeps looking at us. Sunny had looked over to where Kibum was looking and laughed at Jinki’s sheepish expression. Jinki finds himself smiling when Kibum gives him a smile.
They have been quite inseparable since then.
It all begins when Jinki receives the news that his brother is dead - gone in the entanglement of burning metal. (Taemin,Taemin; oh god, anyone but Taemin.) It is Kibum whose hands are in Jinki’s hair, holding their bodies close together, telling Jinki over and over again that everything would be alright. It is Kibum who helps Jinki up when he falls instead of joining in the crowd that was laughing at him. It is Kibum who climbs into his room through his window at night and sleeps in his bed, cuddled against his side. It is Kibum who taught him love.
But Jinki finds himself burdened with the hopes of the family. His father’s - Lee Soo Man - company was to become his after his father was gone. Jinki cannot help but feel that it is impossible. After all, it Taemin was always the artistic one, the bubbly one, the one with stage presence, the one everyone loved. Jinki was nobody. But everything changed when Kibum taught him how to believe in himself. Because Kibum believed in him.
Jinki wants to break down when his father tells him to stop seeing Kibum, because the boy is a bad influence. (No, father, he taught me how to be confident. He’s a good friend.) He doesn’t realize that Kibum has heard their argument, and like all clichéd stories, he leaves. Jinki’s world crumbles down before him. His life has lost colour without Kibum; Kibum the boy with a whole spectrum of colour in his hair, eyes as bright as strobe lights and a heart as big as can be. Jinki’s cousin, Sunny, inherits the company instead, but Jinki doesn’t care. His father tells him that a young man of his status should marry a fine young maiden, and Jinki’s marriage is arranged. He is lifeless, and agrees.
He learns that the girl’s name is Choi Min Hyo. The name is too similar to Minho’s, Kibum’s friend, name for Jinki’s liking. He winces inwardly. She was pretty, and she seemed to be sincere towards him. How can he tell her that he was in love with someone else? He tells her explicitly during their first meeting that they would be a married couple only by status, and they’d sleep in separate rooms. Min Hyo’s eyes are hesitant, but she agrees quietly. Jinki almost feels guilty. Almost.
Jinki eventually grows to love Min Hyo like a sibling. He buys her gifts every day. Pink flowers, pink bears, everything that a girl could ever dream of in pink. Min Hyo’s eyes are sad. I like blue, she whispers softly one day. Jinki’s eyes sparkle with tears, and he can feel his non-existent heart breaking just slightly. I know.
(Kibum had always loved pink.)
Jinki starts to buy Min Hyo blue presents instead, and soon Min Hyo’s room is filled with blue. She smiles a little easier. (Jinki’s room is decorated in pink.)
Jinki attempts to fall in love with Min Hyo. There are a couple after all, and Min Hyo is the best wife anyone could ask for. She never made Jinki do anything he didn’t want to, and she cared for him. It is after dinner; Jinki corners Min Hyo and their lips are tangled in a kiss. Key, Jinki whispers. Min Hyo pulls away, looking confused. Key?
Let’s pick nicknames for each other! I’ll call you Onew; what are you going to call me?
Key; I’ll call you Key.
Jinki shakes his head, smiling softly before capturing Min Hyo’s lips once more. It’s nothing, he whispers into her lips, you’re the key to my heart. Min Hyo cannot help but feel that Jinki isn’t talking to her.
Min Hyo eventually figures out who Kibum is, but selfishly, she continued loving Jinki, pretending that it was her he loved and not Kibum. (She doesn’t tell Jinki that Kibum has been dead for two years already.)
But Jinki finds out anyway. Kibum lost his life in a car accident, just like Taemin did. And Jinki feels a sickening sense of déjà vu. His world spins and it’s the same, it’s all the same. (Just like when Taemin died.) But Kibum wasn’t there. Because it was Kibum this time. Kibum is gone, and foolishly, naively, Jinki somehow feels that it is all his fault. Because he should have held on tighter; he should never have let Kibum leave. He feels warm arms wrap around him as he cries, and he can tell that it is Min Hyo. He shrugs her away. Call Sunny noona, he says, I want Sunny noona. Min Hyo excuses herself quietly.
Sunny reaches their house within minutes. She cries when she hears about her best friend. But still she holds Jinki and rocks him gently, telling him to stay strong. Jinki eventually falls asleep in Sunny’s arms. Min Hyo just watches from the door, wishing it was her and not Sunny.
(Jinki never wakes up.)