Crossing The Line
Jinki and Kibum sat in the corner of the room, hands gripped tightly together. Names were called out one by one, and Kibum could almost hear Jinki’s heartbeat. Kim Kibum. Kibum tightened his hold on Jinki’s hand, praying that the older boy’s name would be called out as well. Soft words of encouragement hung loosely on Jinki’s lips, all to ready to convince Kibum to join the company, even if Jinki wasn’t accepted.
Lee Jinki.
The said boy let out the breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding in, and turned to look at the boy beside him who had turned white with shock. But as soon as Jinki blinked, he was enveloped in a crushing hug, pulling him into Kibum’s arms. We made it, we made it, Kibum whispered harshly into Jinki’s hair. And suddenly, Jinki realized that all his late night dance sessions with Kibum would become a thing of the past. Kibum’s lips travelled to Jinki’s face, kissing away every tear. We’ll still be together, he said as he rocked Jinki gently, you just have to share me with a few more people.
And with that, Kibum and Jinki officially joined SM Academy.
Jinki had never been good at dancing. He took a little longer than everyone else to learn the steps, to do everything right. It had never bothered him much - after all, Kibum was always there to take him by the hand and lead the way. But after a month or two, he found the dance courses challenging. Kibum would have the whole dance memorized as soon as their instructor finished demonstrating, and the others would be quick to learn as well. Jinki, however, stumbled constantly on his feet. Glares were constantly shot at him as he caused the instructor to bark at them to perform the dance from the top for the umpteenth time that day.
They brought home their first dance assignment that night. Jinki stayed up till three in the morning, meticulously planning, choreographing, the dance moves that they were to perform the next week. Jinki and Kibum were to choreograph half the dance, while the other five members in the group were to choreograph the other half. Looking over Jinki’s choreography, Kibum couldn’t help the swell of pride, knowing that his quiet, shy Jinki had come up with the most intricate and powerful combination of dance moves. Kibum and Jinki both fell asleep on the kitchen table. Their bodies ached in the morning, but they smiled down at their joined hands under the table.
It’s not good enough, was the first thing the duo heard as their group mates looked through their choreography. Kibum could almost feel the quaking of Jinki’s heart, and the small quiver of Jinki’s lips. He thought of the amount of effort Jinki had put into the assignment, and now that his best friend’s hard work was being dismissed without a second look, Kibum felt a burst of anger without him.
Do it yourself then, Kibum hissed as he pulled Jinki out of the room. His fingers wrapped around Jinki’s wrist. I’m sorry, Jinki whispered, I’m only holding you back. Kibum smiled, and laced their fingers together. No, he replied, my life wouldn’t be complete without you. Jinki snorted softly, something he only did with Kibum. You’re so corny, really, Jinki laughed, but Kibum couldn't help the dread that grew within him.
Kibum tried to ignore how quiet Jinki had become, or how his cheerful eyes turned lifeless. But he couldn’t ignore the missing touches - the simple kiss on the cheek Jinki would give him every night before going to sleep. He couldn’t ignore how distant they had become.
The day of their performance came, and they were to perform the dance they had choreographed for the assignment. The other five members had bailed on them, leaving Jinki to do all the work. (Kibum wished he could have helped, but something held him back.) Jinki executed every move perfectly, flawlessly. A smile played on Kibum’s lips, seeing how free Jinki looked. But their instructor stopped them eventually, seeing the number of mistakes their group mates were making. They were quick to point fingers, blaming Jinki for the unclear choreography. The room was silent, and Kibum could imagine Jinki’s eyes brimming with tears. His heart sank when a choked sob made its way to his ears. Jinki was on the floor, sobbing. (Kibum swore his heart broke at the sight.)
He knelt down beside the older boy, grabbing him by the shoulders and whispered words of comfort onto his cheeks. And Kibum found himself crying as well when Jinki’s lanky arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to Jinki. His touch was fiery, almost desperate for love and the warmth of a person. I’m sorry, Kibum found himself apologizing, I’m sorry. Jinki looked up at Kibum, and wordlessly pulled him out of the studio. No one bothered to call them back.
Jinki kissed Kibum’s temple, smiling softly.
It’s fine Kibum, he assured, I’m fine.
(Kibum didn’t want to ask about the scars on his wrists.)
My life wouldn’t be complete without you, Jinki spoke slowly, mirroring Kibum’s words.
I promise I’ll be here, Kibum played with a lock of Jinki’s hair, they were jerks.
They’re not the reason why I’ve been down the past week, Jinki said softly, I’ve been thinking about the way I feel towards you, and yeah;
I think I’m in love with you.
The younger boy smiled, and captured Jinki’s lips with his own.
Yesterday, they were best friends on the verge of falling out.
Today, they were two young boys in love.
Kibum had crossed the line between friends and lovers; and he didn’t regret it one bit.