Hate You 1/1
title: Hate You
part: 1/1
pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
rating: PG-13
genre: angst, drama, romance
warnings: post-lawsuit!fic
summary: Yunho and Jaejoong meet after a long two years of separation; Yunho is terribly awkward and Jaejoong is ridiculously nervous. Things never seem to work out for them...
yunho knows he should be focusing on practising for kiss & cry, but he can't help the annoying and somewhat painful feeling pooling in his lower abdomen. he hisses and presses a hand against the area, willing the feeling away for a few peaceful moments. he turns to the director beside him and asks, “can we go for a break?”
the man purses his lips and gazes around at the skating rink before nodding. “bathroom break, everybody! be back here in ten and don't be late!” he calls and yunho lets out a sigh of relief, following the crowd of staff members to the bathroom. he walks slow, the palm of his hand still covering his abdomen as he waits outside the doors of the stall for his turn.
he rocks back and forth on his heels impatiently as he waits, closing his eyes and sighing. practically all the staff members were at this washroom - he'd never get his turn if he stayed here. he reluctantly turns around and walks down the hallway, far, far away from where their studio is. there's only one other bathroom on the floor, but he doubted anybody else thought of going there.
he kicks open the door and notices a man standing at the sink. he pays no attention though, immensely grateful to be given the chance to release his...bodily fluids. he flushes his toilet and unlocks the stall door, the man still standing over the sink, a makeup bag's contents scattered over the granite counter top.
he blinks and turns on the sink, looking over to the other man. he looks eerily familiar from this angle, but he can't see much with the way he's staring down. “staff don't need to do their makeup, you know,” he remarks.
“i know,” the other man says quietly. his voice cracks at the end. “i'm not ... i'm not a staff member.”
this catches yunho's attention. as far as he knew, the only other recording going on in the building was for a new drama, meaning the other male had to be some sort of an actor. “ah, then it's best not to do your own. they have professionals for that stuff. are you new?” he asks, because he can't imagine any veteran actor would be so unwise as to do their own makeup.
the man pauses and continues to absently brush his chin with a large concealer brush. “i'm not new,” he answers. there again with the voice cracking. “i just ... i like it better this way ... yunho.”
he blinks as he hears his name, interested in finding out who the other is. “oh? you know me?” he says, trying to come off smooth. if the other wasn't new, he might be yunho's sunbae.
his breath hitches and suddenly the annoying feel in his abdomen is back as the man looks up. “j-jaejoong?” he stutters, not trusting his own voice.
he looks different then when yunho last saw him in person. his hair is pushed up, revealing his forehead in a very yoochun-like hairstyle. he looks older, wiser, possibly because of the large bags underneath his eyes and the way his lips are twisting into a frown. long lashes covered in mascara and eyes outlined in light, almost invisible kohl are the other things he notices.
“uhm,” jaejoong mutters, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head. his strong, long hand that yunho hadn't touched in years. he's almost mesmerised by the way jaejoong looks and moves. “i should explain - i, well, i'm here filming for a drama, and ... i don't know. uhm. yeah. hi.”
he can tell jaejoong is nervous by the way he's scratching his thigh with his nails. an odd habit, one of the many that yunho has observed in jaejoong's presence. he looks down, then up, then down again, not knowing if he should be looking at jaejoong or what. “yeah ... hi. long time no see. how have you been?” he asks, sticking with the normal conversation procedures.
jaejoong seems taken aback at yunho's friendliness. the other man probably thought yunho would be hostile, and he definitely ran over the scenario of meeting jaejoong again in his head more than once, and he doubted there would be any good coming out of being rude. “good, i suppose. be ... better than before.” he gives a wry smile that makes yunho feel quite melancholic all of the sudden.
“that's ... that's good. i'm glad.” yunho smiles back and jaejoong lets out a small, almost silent laugh. it's airy, lovable and everything that yunho remembers. “i ... we really miss you guys. you should drop by one day. we could catch up. and stuff.” he doesn't know why he's talking in such short, awkward sentences, but the way jaejoong looks up at him makes him feel even worse.
jaejoong gives a sad smile. “we're really busy now, yunho,” he says, his tone high and kind but yunho knows rejection when he hears it. “and you know we're not allowed.”
he lets out a forced laugh, because he knows that's what jaejoong wants. reassurance that he made the right choice. “i suppose,” he finds it much too easy to say the words. “just think about it, though? maybe ... yeah. just think about it. for me. for changmin. both of us. he'd love to see you, you know.” he doesn't want to put words in changmin's mouth but it's no secret that he misses the other three, anyhow.
jaejoong doesn't answer and a pregnant silence commences. yunho takes this time to get a good look at the other, who's blankly staring over yunho's shoulder and to the wall, gaze not wavering for a moment. jaejoong looks different and he himself doesn't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. he wonders if jaejoong has moved on from them. if he thinks about him and changmin as often as yunho thinks about him, junsu and yoochun. he's thrust out of his thoughts as jaejoong moves to gather his things, his eyes now fixed on the floor.
a few seconds pass and yunho realizes that jaejoong means to leave. a weight feels like it's on yunho's chest and he stays rooted to his spot, watching jaejoong pack up his paraphernalia. he turns to move away and yunho reaches out, grasping jaejoong's arm tightly. his skin is soft and milky white, everything that yunho remembers ...
“w-wait,” he stutters, not knowing what else he can say. jaejoong looks over at him, curious but a little frightened at the same time. “i ... jaejoong,” he whispers. he takes a step forward and leans down, finally in a position where he's comfortable. he's done this before. he brushes his lips against jaejoong's and he feels the shorter man shaking, bag clutched to his chest as yunho cups his chin gently.
jaejoong doesn't kiss back at first, and yunho feels his confidence level drop. he feels awkward again and pushes himself closer to jaejoong, reaching deeper, deeper into the other until their tongues are mingling and yunho's spit is dribbling down jaejoong's chin, his strong hands gripping messy hair.
“y-yunho ...” jaejoong mumbles, pulling away and taking a step back. yunho surveys his work and can't help but feel proud at the way jaejoong's lips are swollen and his hair is mussed. the other wipes his chin with the back of his hand. “i'm sorry i ... we can't visit you. it's not allowed. i'm really sorry, yunho,” he says, gripping his bag tightly and rushing out of the bathroom before yunho can make another move to stop him.
he brings a finger to his lips and traces the outer lining, closing his eyes and leaning against the counter top. so jaejoong moved on. he didn't love yunho anymore like yunho loved him. he turns to the mirror and studies his own face. he looks like he just got thoroughly fucked. but that's okay, because he did - jaejoong fucked over his heart. he runs a hand through his hair and runs his fingers across the sharp edge of the counter top, turning away and out the bathroom, back down the hallway and back the recording studio.
breakup shouldn't be as easy as this. the way he felt when jaejoong walked away ... he knows he should've felt more. it's stupid to think about but it's true. he can't help but feel that jaejoong will visit him again, and he prays for the next time he sees jaejoong to be better.
because he still loves jaejoong, no matter how much the other man tries to push him away. he loves jaejoong and he knows that jaejoong will always love him. he just has to try harder. he just has to win jaejoong's heart.
a/n: unbeta-ed, written in a span of 10 minutes in which half an hour before i was sobbing my heart out because of tvxq. excuse the fail. first fanfiction written for this account and the first in ... well, around five months.
part: 1/1
pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
rating: PG-13
genre: angst, drama, romance
warnings: post-lawsuit!fic
summary: Yunho and Jaejoong meet after a long two years of separation; Yunho is terribly awkward and Jaejoong is ridiculously nervous. Things never seem to work out for them...
yunho knows he should be focusing on practising for kiss & cry, but he can't help the annoying and somewhat painful feeling pooling in his lower abdomen. he hisses and presses a hand against the area, willing the feeling away for a few peaceful moments. he turns to the director beside him and asks, “can we go for a break?”
the man purses his lips and gazes around at the skating rink before nodding. “bathroom break, everybody! be back here in ten and don't be late!” he calls and yunho lets out a sigh of relief, following the crowd of staff members to the bathroom. he walks slow, the palm of his hand still covering his abdomen as he waits outside the doors of the stall for his turn.
he rocks back and forth on his heels impatiently as he waits, closing his eyes and sighing. practically all the staff members were at this washroom - he'd never get his turn if he stayed here. he reluctantly turns around and walks down the hallway, far, far away from where their studio is. there's only one other bathroom on the floor, but he doubted anybody else thought of going there.
he kicks open the door and notices a man standing at the sink. he pays no attention though, immensely grateful to be given the chance to release his...bodily fluids. he flushes his toilet and unlocks the stall door, the man still standing over the sink, a makeup bag's contents scattered over the granite counter top.
he blinks and turns on the sink, looking over to the other man. he looks eerily familiar from this angle, but he can't see much with the way he's staring down. “staff don't need to do their makeup, you know,” he remarks.
“i know,” the other man says quietly. his voice cracks at the end. “i'm not ... i'm not a staff member.”
this catches yunho's attention. as far as he knew, the only other recording going on in the building was for a new drama, meaning the other male had to be some sort of an actor. “ah, then it's best not to do your own. they have professionals for that stuff. are you new?” he asks, because he can't imagine any veteran actor would be so unwise as to do their own makeup.
the man pauses and continues to absently brush his chin with a large concealer brush. “i'm not new,” he answers. there again with the voice cracking. “i just ... i like it better this way ... yunho.”
he blinks as he hears his name, interested in finding out who the other is. “oh? you know me?” he says, trying to come off smooth. if the other wasn't new, he might be yunho's sunbae.
his breath hitches and suddenly the annoying feel in his abdomen is back as the man looks up. “j-jaejoong?” he stutters, not trusting his own voice.
he looks different then when yunho last saw him in person. his hair is pushed up, revealing his forehead in a very yoochun-like hairstyle. he looks older, wiser, possibly because of the large bags underneath his eyes and the way his lips are twisting into a frown. long lashes covered in mascara and eyes outlined in light, almost invisible kohl are the other things he notices.
“uhm,” jaejoong mutters, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head. his strong, long hand that yunho hadn't touched in years. he's almost mesmerised by the way jaejoong looks and moves. “i should explain - i, well, i'm here filming for a drama, and ... i don't know. uhm. yeah. hi.”
he can tell jaejoong is nervous by the way he's scratching his thigh with his nails. an odd habit, one of the many that yunho has observed in jaejoong's presence. he looks down, then up, then down again, not knowing if he should be looking at jaejoong or what. “yeah ... hi. long time no see. how have you been?” he asks, sticking with the normal conversation procedures.
jaejoong seems taken aback at yunho's friendliness. the other man probably thought yunho would be hostile, and he definitely ran over the scenario of meeting jaejoong again in his head more than once, and he doubted there would be any good coming out of being rude. “good, i suppose. be ... better than before.” he gives a wry smile that makes yunho feel quite melancholic all of the sudden.
“that's ... that's good. i'm glad.” yunho smiles back and jaejoong lets out a small, almost silent laugh. it's airy, lovable and everything that yunho remembers. “i ... we really miss you guys. you should drop by one day. we could catch up. and stuff.” he doesn't know why he's talking in such short, awkward sentences, but the way jaejoong looks up at him makes him feel even worse.
jaejoong gives a sad smile. “we're really busy now, yunho,” he says, his tone high and kind but yunho knows rejection when he hears it. “and you know we're not allowed.”
he lets out a forced laugh, because he knows that's what jaejoong wants. reassurance that he made the right choice. “i suppose,” he finds it much too easy to say the words. “just think about it, though? maybe ... yeah. just think about it. for me. for changmin. both of us. he'd love to see you, you know.” he doesn't want to put words in changmin's mouth but it's no secret that he misses the other three, anyhow.
jaejoong doesn't answer and a pregnant silence commences. yunho takes this time to get a good look at the other, who's blankly staring over yunho's shoulder and to the wall, gaze not wavering for a moment. jaejoong looks different and he himself doesn't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. he wonders if jaejoong has moved on from them. if he thinks about him and changmin as often as yunho thinks about him, junsu and yoochun. he's thrust out of his thoughts as jaejoong moves to gather his things, his eyes now fixed on the floor.
a few seconds pass and yunho realizes that jaejoong means to leave. a weight feels like it's on yunho's chest and he stays rooted to his spot, watching jaejoong pack up his paraphernalia. he turns to move away and yunho reaches out, grasping jaejoong's arm tightly. his skin is soft and milky white, everything that yunho remembers ...
“w-wait,” he stutters, not knowing what else he can say. jaejoong looks over at him, curious but a little frightened at the same time. “i ... jaejoong,” he whispers. he takes a step forward and leans down, finally in a position where he's comfortable. he's done this before. he brushes his lips against jaejoong's and he feels the shorter man shaking, bag clutched to his chest as yunho cups his chin gently.
jaejoong doesn't kiss back at first, and yunho feels his confidence level drop. he feels awkward again and pushes himself closer to jaejoong, reaching deeper, deeper into the other until their tongues are mingling and yunho's spit is dribbling down jaejoong's chin, his strong hands gripping messy hair.
“y-yunho ...” jaejoong mumbles, pulling away and taking a step back. yunho surveys his work and can't help but feel proud at the way jaejoong's lips are swollen and his hair is mussed. the other wipes his chin with the back of his hand. “i'm sorry i ... we can't visit you. it's not allowed. i'm really sorry, yunho,” he says, gripping his bag tightly and rushing out of the bathroom before yunho can make another move to stop him.
he brings a finger to his lips and traces the outer lining, closing his eyes and leaning against the counter top. so jaejoong moved on. he didn't love yunho anymore like yunho loved him. he turns to the mirror and studies his own face. he looks like he just got thoroughly fucked. but that's okay, because he did - jaejoong fucked over his heart. he runs a hand through his hair and runs his fingers across the sharp edge of the counter top, turning away and out the bathroom, back down the hallway and back the recording studio.
breakup shouldn't be as easy as this. the way he felt when jaejoong walked away ... he knows he should've felt more. it's stupid to think about but it's true. he can't help but feel that jaejoong will visit him again, and he prays for the next time he sees jaejoong to be better.
because he still loves jaejoong, no matter how much the other man tries to push him away. he loves jaejoong and he knows that jaejoong will always love him. he just has to try harder. he just has to win jaejoong's heart.
a/n: unbeta-ed, written in a span of 10 minutes in which half an hour before i was sobbing my heart out because of tvxq. excuse the fail. first fanfiction written for this account and the first in ... well, around five months.