Over and Over
So, here is my KiritoxAiji one-sided fic, Over and Over. I had this completed a while ago, sorry it took so long to finish. ><;;; It's not the greatest thing in the world, but... I hope you still enjoy it! ^^
Hands. Fingers delicately interlocked. Two faces. Faces of men who loved eachother with their entire being.The slightly taller man laughed, pure happiness glowing on his face. This was more emotion than he showed at photo shoots. He didn't give this dazzling smile for the fans, or any of the other band members. This gaze was reserved Kirito. It beloned to him... And only him--
Kirito lunged out of bed, grasping at the fading grin of Aiji. He sat up, and tried to collect his breathing, pushing a hand through his light brown hair. His forehead was clammy. Kirito punched the mattress. Why couldn't he forget that damn idiot?! Aiji hadn't been his for years. Kirito remembered the day when Aiji had stomped on his heart and his pride.
"I'm leaving," he had said, very cool and collected. Kirito remembered the fear bubbling inside his stomach.
"Me or the band?" Kirito prayed neither, but his pride allowed him to wish one over the other. Aiji laughed, and grinned a bit. Kirito had never seen that smile before. It was full of hate and contempt. What on earth had he done to get that gaze?
"Both." Aiji's eyes were dead; no color or light sparkled in them.
"But why--" Kirito's mouth was as dry as straw. "Why would you leave the band?" Aiji's dead stare was then replaced by flames of anger in his eyes.
"Not one word about me leaving you, Kirito?" Kirito had no reply to that, and stared down at the linoleum floor of his kitchen, just so he wouldn't have to see Aiji's hatred for him.
"That, Kirito, that... Is why I'm leaving both you and the band. I was never your number one. It was always fucking 'Pierrot this' and 'Pierrot that'. Well you can stuff Pierrot up your ass for all I care, because I quit. I quit you."
Within a few minutes of Kirito's reverie, he realized the hand he was using to rest his forehead on was was.
"Fuck..." Kirito sighed. Now he was crying over Aiji. But what else was new?
***
Kohta made his way from the elevator to his older brother's apartment front door. He ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted his clothes. He sighed. He was not used to random booty calls, but he really wanted to make Kirito smile. For some reason, Kirito had been quiet lately. If Kirito was remembering Aiji... Kohta shook his head. He couldn't think about that bastard. Kirito was his now, and Aiji was never coming back... So what did he have to worry about?
He took a final deep breath and fished the door key out of his jean pocket. Kirito had given him the spare, saying if he ever needed anything, as a brother or as a lover, to let himself in. Kohta felt the clank of his rings against the metallic key. Before he could chicken out, he yanked the key out and stuck it in the hole. Closing the door behind him, he shouted into the dark interiors of the apartment to let his presence be known.
"Onii!" Kohta could've sworn he'd heard a loud whimper, but it was over within a nano-second.
"You're just imagining things, Kohta," the blond told himself.
"I-I'm back in the bedroom, Kohta." Kirito's voice drifted from the rear bedroom. Kohta was surprised by this. It was noon already. Had Kirito been expecting his booty call? When Kohta hadn't seen him in the front room, he just assumed his big brother was on the toliet.
"Ah, coming, Onii," Kohta responded finally. He made his way back to his brother's room, only to find the lights were shut off.
"Onii, why--" As he reached for the light switch, Kirito made a strangled yelp.
"Don't! Just... Please, I don't want you to see me like this."
"You idiot, if you didn't want me to see you, you shouldn't have told me you were back here," Kohta said, scolding his brother as he went for the switch again. "So what's-- ... Oh god, Shinya...."
Kirito's eyes were puffy and surrounded by dark circles, thanks to the short, stressful amount of sleep he had gotten. His eyes were red from crying, but that wasn't what was shocking. Kohta dived toward Kirito, grabbing his brother's head in his hands.
"Shinya, why? Why?! Why did you shave off your beautiful hair?" Kohta ran his fingers over Kirito's stubby hair. Kirito began crying again, which caused Kohta to start bawling.
"Do you really hate me that much, Onii? Is our relationship that disgusting to you that it would drive you to this level of depression? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry!" This caused Kirito to cry harder, clinging to his younger brother's chest. Kohta was so amazing, as a brother and as a boyfriend. How could Kirito break his heart and tell him that he was crying over Aiji?
"Yes... I only love you as a brother, Kohta..." Kirito felt his heart being ripped in two
"No! No... You liar. You wouldn't be embracing me so tightly... as a lover. Shinya, I love you, please don't do this!" Kirito gave a soft whimper.
"Kohta, I...I don't know what to do! You are so good to me. I do, I do love you! But I just can't... I can't..." Kirito stuttered, starting to hyperventilate.
"You can't forget Aiji, can you?" Kohta said, praying those weren't the correct words as he rubbed Kirito's back. He felt Kirito nod against his shoulder.
"Why, Onii? He broke your heart."
"It was his new PV. His and that... partner of his. I saw it playing on TV the other day, and I thought, 'Wow, Aiji looks so happy, and more handsome than ever... I fell for him all over again. Even though... Goddammit, I'm so stupid!"
"No, you're not stupid, Onii..." Kohta said soothingly, petting Kirito's shaven head. "He was a big part of your life, and he was your first love. It's not easy getting over that." Kirito gulped, his breathing finally slowing down.
"What do I have to do to finally rid him from my heart?"
"Only time will help. I know, I know, it's cliche and stupid, but it's true. It's okay that you still love him."
"It is?"
"Yeah. I might not like it, but what can I do? I can only try to make you love me more and forget him faster. As long as you still want to be with me." Kirito buried his face into Kohta's chest.
"Never leave me."
-END-
Hands. Fingers delicately interlocked. Two faces. Faces of men who loved eachother with their entire being.The slightly taller man laughed, pure happiness glowing on his face. This was more emotion than he showed at photo shoots. He didn't give this dazzling smile for the fans, or any of the other band members. This gaze was reserved Kirito. It beloned to him... And only him--
Kirito lunged out of bed, grasping at the fading grin of Aiji. He sat up, and tried to collect his breathing, pushing a hand through his light brown hair. His forehead was clammy. Kirito punched the mattress. Why couldn't he forget that damn idiot?! Aiji hadn't been his for years. Kirito remembered the day when Aiji had stomped on his heart and his pride.
"I'm leaving," he had said, very cool and collected. Kirito remembered the fear bubbling inside his stomach.
"Me or the band?" Kirito prayed neither, but his pride allowed him to wish one over the other. Aiji laughed, and grinned a bit. Kirito had never seen that smile before. It was full of hate and contempt. What on earth had he done to get that gaze?
"Both." Aiji's eyes were dead; no color or light sparkled in them.
"But why--" Kirito's mouth was as dry as straw. "Why would you leave the band?" Aiji's dead stare was then replaced by flames of anger in his eyes.
"Not one word about me leaving you, Kirito?" Kirito had no reply to that, and stared down at the linoleum floor of his kitchen, just so he wouldn't have to see Aiji's hatred for him.
"That, Kirito, that... Is why I'm leaving both you and the band. I was never your number one. It was always fucking 'Pierrot this' and 'Pierrot that'. Well you can stuff Pierrot up your ass for all I care, because I quit. I quit you."
Within a few minutes of Kirito's reverie, he realized the hand he was using to rest his forehead on was was.
"Fuck..." Kirito sighed. Now he was crying over Aiji. But what else was new?
***
Kohta made his way from the elevator to his older brother's apartment front door. He ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted his clothes. He sighed. He was not used to random booty calls, but he really wanted to make Kirito smile. For some reason, Kirito had been quiet lately. If Kirito was remembering Aiji... Kohta shook his head. He couldn't think about that bastard. Kirito was his now, and Aiji was never coming back... So what did he have to worry about?
He took a final deep breath and fished the door key out of his jean pocket. Kirito had given him the spare, saying if he ever needed anything, as a brother or as a lover, to let himself in. Kohta felt the clank of his rings against the metallic key. Before he could chicken out, he yanked the key out and stuck it in the hole. Closing the door behind him, he shouted into the dark interiors of the apartment to let his presence be known.
"Onii!" Kohta could've sworn he'd heard a loud whimper, but it was over within a nano-second.
"You're just imagining things, Kohta," the blond told himself.
"I-I'm back in the bedroom, Kohta." Kirito's voice drifted from the rear bedroom. Kohta was surprised by this. It was noon already. Had Kirito been expecting his booty call? When Kohta hadn't seen him in the front room, he just assumed his big brother was on the toliet.
"Ah, coming, Onii," Kohta responded finally. He made his way back to his brother's room, only to find the lights were shut off.
"Onii, why--" As he reached for the light switch, Kirito made a strangled yelp.
"Don't! Just... Please, I don't want you to see me like this."
"You idiot, if you didn't want me to see you, you shouldn't have told me you were back here," Kohta said, scolding his brother as he went for the switch again. "So what's-- ... Oh god, Shinya...."
Kirito's eyes were puffy and surrounded by dark circles, thanks to the short, stressful amount of sleep he had gotten. His eyes were red from crying, but that wasn't what was shocking. Kohta dived toward Kirito, grabbing his brother's head in his hands.
"Shinya, why? Why?! Why did you shave off your beautiful hair?" Kohta ran his fingers over Kirito's stubby hair. Kirito began crying again, which caused Kohta to start bawling.
"Do you really hate me that much, Onii? Is our relationship that disgusting to you that it would drive you to this level of depression? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry!" This caused Kirito to cry harder, clinging to his younger brother's chest. Kohta was so amazing, as a brother and as a boyfriend. How could Kirito break his heart and tell him that he was crying over Aiji?
"Yes... I only love you as a brother, Kohta..." Kirito felt his heart being ripped in two
"No! No... You liar. You wouldn't be embracing me so tightly... as a lover. Shinya, I love you, please don't do this!" Kirito gave a soft whimper.
"Kohta, I...I don't know what to do! You are so good to me. I do, I do love you! But I just can't... I can't..." Kirito stuttered, starting to hyperventilate.
"You can't forget Aiji, can you?" Kohta said, praying those weren't the correct words as he rubbed Kirito's back. He felt Kirito nod against his shoulder.
"Why, Onii? He broke your heart."
"It was his new PV. His and that... partner of his. I saw it playing on TV the other day, and I thought, 'Wow, Aiji looks so happy, and more handsome than ever... I fell for him all over again. Even though... Goddammit, I'm so stupid!"
"No, you're not stupid, Onii..." Kohta said soothingly, petting Kirito's shaven head. "He was a big part of your life, and he was your first love. It's not easy getting over that." Kirito gulped, his breathing finally slowing down.
"What do I have to do to finally rid him from my heart?"
"Only time will help. I know, I know, it's cliche and stupid, but it's true. It's okay that you still love him."
"It is?"
"Yeah. I might not like it, but what can I do? I can only try to make you love me more and forget him faster. As long as you still want to be with me." Kirito buried his face into Kohta's chest.
"Never leave me."
-END-