005. Hard Habit to Break
[[ PRIVATE]]
Me and my big mouth. I shouldn't have said it. But, would I be happier if I didn't? I don't think so. At least I know now that he still doesn't like me - or maybe the shock couldn't make him decide. Maybe since he had two relationships already, maybe he's too wary. Too cautious. Maybe his heart is broken into many pieces.
As for me, I am hurt of course. But there is no excuse for this. I wasn't a wimp at the very least. I told him that I love him. And I do, I still do. However if loving choutaro is all that means to me, then I really just want him to be happy. So loving him must mean, I really have to set him free.
I guess I have to let go. It's going to be tough. He's been on my mind 24/7. He's my comfort. Though, I guess he doesn't know it. I am just too stupid to admit that I still need him.
But I will be alright. Is it hard to believe I'm ok? After all it's been awhile since I reallly last saw him.
I'm way past crying but I am not over him. I can't find someone else.
I have to be stronger. Perhaps when I am, he will love me back. Though, I do not want to risk losing him completely. This is fine. Completely fine.
Me and my big mouth. I shouldn't have said it. But, would I be happier if I didn't? I don't think so. At least I know now that he still doesn't like me - or maybe the shock couldn't make him decide. Maybe since he had two relationships already, maybe he's too wary. Too cautious. Maybe his heart is broken into many pieces.
As for me, I am hurt of course. But there is no excuse for this. I wasn't a wimp at the very least. I told him that I love him. And I do, I still do. However if loving choutaro is all that means to me, then I really just want him to be happy. So loving him must mean, I really have to set him free.
I guess I have to let go. It's going to be tough. He's been on my mind 24/7. He's my comfort. Though, I guess he doesn't know it. I am just too stupid to admit that I still need him.
But I will be alright. Is it hard to believe I'm ok? After all it's been awhile since I reallly last saw him.
I'm way past crying but I am not over him. I can't find someone else.
I have to be stronger. Perhaps when I am, he will love me back. Though, I do not want to risk losing him completely. This is fine. Completely fine.