advent calendar 2016 - december 4
title december 4
pairing yunho/jaejoong
genre romance, angst
rating pg
summary Sometimes, love chooses to destroy you instead.
submitted words/plot yunjae; age different ; adult x teen ; romance with angst
Being in love hurts.
Jaejoong is convinced that love has only been invented to fuck up the human race even more. There is nothing romantic about chasing after someone who continuously either ignores or rejects every single one of your advances. No, it's just tiring and painful.
The more he recalls the past month during which he had tried his best to make Yunho see him as something else other than his friend's annoying little brother, the more he thinks that maybe, he should just let go and move on.
Obviously, there is nothing going to happen between them and while Jaejoong can see himself accepting that fact easily, he couldn't see himself stopping to hurt over it any time soon. It's silly and unreasonable to have fallen so deeply for someone who wouldn't give him the time of the day even if he were to be the last remaining human beside him, but once love decides to take over, you don't have much of a choice beside letting it control you like you are its marionette.
And now that it's done toying with him, it's going to let him shatter.
The soft knocking sound at his door causes Jaejoong to look up in slight surprise, effectively pulling him out of the ocean of unpleasant thoughts he was starting to lose himself in.
“Yes?”
“Jaejoong, Yunho is here.” Jaejoong flinches at the mention of the other's name. “Come and say hello.”
“I'm not feeling well, hyung.” The student says before burying his face into the soft surface of his pillow in an attempt to shut out everything around him.
He barely manages to hold in a sigh when he hears his door being opened before footsteps echo within his room and make him aware of his brother's presence as the other approaches him. The additional weight of his brother causes the mattress to give in some more and soon enough, Jaejoong can feel his brother's fingers caressing his hair gently.
“Has something happened or are you feeling sick?”
Gosh, Jaejoong hates it when his brother talks to him so sweetly. It always makes him want to spill the whole truth about everything because really, he hates lying to him when he is being so fucking gentle and loving.
“Can I tell you later?” Jaejoong mumbles against his pillow.
“Sure.” There is a pause and shortly after, Jaejoong feels himself being pulled into semi-hug. “Just know that you can talk to me about anything.”
Jaejoong nods in response, the tears he had tried to stop from escaping now wetting his pillow.
He can hear his brother sigh in sympathy before the other gets off the bed and leaves the room without saying anything else, knowing that Jaejoong prefers to be alone when he is upset about something.
And the moment he hears the door being shut from the outside, Jaejoong allows himself to simply let go and sob into his pillow. All the pain he has felt but pushed aside for the sake of trying harder to get Yunho's affection is now punching its way through his heart and he feels like he can't even breathe properly anymore.
It feels like hours have passed by the time he hears the door of his room being opened once again and Jaejoong automatically looks up to see whether his brother has come back to check on him.
But it's not his brother he ends up facing.
It's Yunho.
“No.” Is the first thing Jaejoong manages to say before he gets up from his bed and heads right towards the door where he attempts to push Yunho out of the room. “Not you. No.”
But Yunho manages to fight his way further into the room and closes the door behind him, not saying anything against the insults Jaejoong throws his way as he tells him to leave. He merely holds onto the teen's arms to prevent him from trying to push him away once again and stares.
He simply stares and it pisses Jaejoong off so bad that the other male is so fucking calm when he feels like he is about to lose his mind.
“Is it because of me?” Yunho finally asks, the sudden question managing to stun Jaejoong enough to make him stop moving. “Are you crying because of me?”
“Why would I cry over someone like you?”
Yunho's gaze softens and so does his voice as he speaks. “Are you like this because of me?”
Jaejoong shakes his head at first and his sobs are uncontrollable by now. But he is so tired. He is so tired of fighting and trying to deny his feelings. And so he ends up nodding in response, his gaze now lowered as he fears to see Yunho looking at him mockingly.
He then vaguely registers some movements and suddenly, Yunho is kneeling in front of him on the ground, the chaebol's hands now holding onto his.
“I'm sorry.”
Just who is the person talking to him right now?
This soft, broken whisper does not match the image of the distant and crude business man he has gotten to know.
“I'm so sorry.” There it is once again, that broken whisper of apologies and regrets. “Just why would you like me so much? You could pick anyone from your school and have them worship you the way you deserve and yet you picked someone nearing his thirties and is as egoistic as he is cruel.”
Jaejoong remains silent and as he watches the prideful man break into pieces at his feet, he realizes that the fate of Yunho's heart lies just as much in hiss hands as does the fate of his heart in Yunho's.
“Look at how egoistic I am.” Yunho chuckles through sobs. “I tried everything to push you away so you would love someone better, telling myself that hurting you is for your best. But the moment I see how much I have really hurt you and how close I am to having you hate me, I cave in and throw every good intention I had out the window out of selfishness because I wouldn't be able to bear seeing you hate me for the rest of your life.”
Jaejoong let out another sob and shakes his head, partly in disbelief about what is happening and partly in disagreement to Yunho's words.
“You don't get to decide who is good for me and who isn't.” The student speaks brokenly. “Not even I can decide who to fall in love with, so who are you to think that you can decide it on my behalf?”
Yunho has so many more words of apology to say, but he finds it impossible to speak at the moment. So he chooses to press his lips against Jaejoong's left hand instead, silently asking for forgiveness as sobs shake his whole body. He almost panics when he feels Jaejoong freeing his right hand out of his grip, but Jaejoong does not leave.
He merely steps closer and runs his fingers through Yunho's hair soothingly.
Neither of them knows what the future has prepared for them, but for now, they are going to try surviving this together somehow and figure things out step by step along the way.
pairing yunho/jaejoong
genre romance, angst
rating pg
summary Sometimes, love chooses to destroy you instead.
submitted words/plot yunjae; age different ; adult x teen ; romance with angst
Being in love hurts.
Jaejoong is convinced that love has only been invented to fuck up the human race even more. There is nothing romantic about chasing after someone who continuously either ignores or rejects every single one of your advances. No, it's just tiring and painful.
The more he recalls the past month during which he had tried his best to make Yunho see him as something else other than his friend's annoying little brother, the more he thinks that maybe, he should just let go and move on.
Obviously, there is nothing going to happen between them and while Jaejoong can see himself accepting that fact easily, he couldn't see himself stopping to hurt over it any time soon. It's silly and unreasonable to have fallen so deeply for someone who wouldn't give him the time of the day even if he were to be the last remaining human beside him, but once love decides to take over, you don't have much of a choice beside letting it control you like you are its marionette.
And now that it's done toying with him, it's going to let him shatter.
The soft knocking sound at his door causes Jaejoong to look up in slight surprise, effectively pulling him out of the ocean of unpleasant thoughts he was starting to lose himself in.
“Yes?”
“Jaejoong, Yunho is here.” Jaejoong flinches at the mention of the other's name. “Come and say hello.”
“I'm not feeling well, hyung.” The student says before burying his face into the soft surface of his pillow in an attempt to shut out everything around him.
He barely manages to hold in a sigh when he hears his door being opened before footsteps echo within his room and make him aware of his brother's presence as the other approaches him. The additional weight of his brother causes the mattress to give in some more and soon enough, Jaejoong can feel his brother's fingers caressing his hair gently.
“Has something happened or are you feeling sick?”
Gosh, Jaejoong hates it when his brother talks to him so sweetly. It always makes him want to spill the whole truth about everything because really, he hates lying to him when he is being so fucking gentle and loving.
“Can I tell you later?” Jaejoong mumbles against his pillow.
“Sure.” There is a pause and shortly after, Jaejoong feels himself being pulled into semi-hug. “Just know that you can talk to me about anything.”
Jaejoong nods in response, the tears he had tried to stop from escaping now wetting his pillow.
He can hear his brother sigh in sympathy before the other gets off the bed and leaves the room without saying anything else, knowing that Jaejoong prefers to be alone when he is upset about something.
And the moment he hears the door being shut from the outside, Jaejoong allows himself to simply let go and sob into his pillow. All the pain he has felt but pushed aside for the sake of trying harder to get Yunho's affection is now punching its way through his heart and he feels like he can't even breathe properly anymore.
It feels like hours have passed by the time he hears the door of his room being opened once again and Jaejoong automatically looks up to see whether his brother has come back to check on him.
But it's not his brother he ends up facing.
It's Yunho.
“No.” Is the first thing Jaejoong manages to say before he gets up from his bed and heads right towards the door where he attempts to push Yunho out of the room. “Not you. No.”
But Yunho manages to fight his way further into the room and closes the door behind him, not saying anything against the insults Jaejoong throws his way as he tells him to leave. He merely holds onto the teen's arms to prevent him from trying to push him away once again and stares.
He simply stares and it pisses Jaejoong off so bad that the other male is so fucking calm when he feels like he is about to lose his mind.
“Is it because of me?” Yunho finally asks, the sudden question managing to stun Jaejoong enough to make him stop moving. “Are you crying because of me?”
“Why would I cry over someone like you?”
Yunho's gaze softens and so does his voice as he speaks. “Are you like this because of me?”
Jaejoong shakes his head at first and his sobs are uncontrollable by now. But he is so tired. He is so tired of fighting and trying to deny his feelings. And so he ends up nodding in response, his gaze now lowered as he fears to see Yunho looking at him mockingly.
He then vaguely registers some movements and suddenly, Yunho is kneeling in front of him on the ground, the chaebol's hands now holding onto his.
“I'm sorry.”
Just who is the person talking to him right now?
This soft, broken whisper does not match the image of the distant and crude business man he has gotten to know.
“I'm so sorry.” There it is once again, that broken whisper of apologies and regrets. “Just why would you like me so much? You could pick anyone from your school and have them worship you the way you deserve and yet you picked someone nearing his thirties and is as egoistic as he is cruel.”
Jaejoong remains silent and as he watches the prideful man break into pieces at his feet, he realizes that the fate of Yunho's heart lies just as much in hiss hands as does the fate of his heart in Yunho's.
“Look at how egoistic I am.” Yunho chuckles through sobs. “I tried everything to push you away so you would love someone better, telling myself that hurting you is for your best. But the moment I see how much I have really hurt you and how close I am to having you hate me, I cave in and throw every good intention I had out the window out of selfishness because I wouldn't be able to bear seeing you hate me for the rest of your life.”
Jaejoong let out another sob and shakes his head, partly in disbelief about what is happening and partly in disagreement to Yunho's words.
“You don't get to decide who is good for me and who isn't.” The student speaks brokenly. “Not even I can decide who to fall in love with, so who are you to think that you can decide it on my behalf?”
Yunho has so many more words of apology to say, but he finds it impossible to speak at the moment. So he chooses to press his lips against Jaejoong's left hand instead, silently asking for forgiveness as sobs shake his whole body. He almost panics when he feels Jaejoong freeing his right hand out of his grip, but Jaejoong does not leave.
He merely steps closer and runs his fingers through Yunho's hair soothingly.
Neither of them knows what the future has prepared for them, but for now, they are going to try surviving this together somehow and figure things out step by step along the way.