"Summer Assessment"
Title: Summer Assessment
Fandom: KHR
Characters: Colonello, Reborn, hints of Colonello/Lal Mirch and Reborn/Luce
Written for naniaru for the khr_exchange09
The mission was simple. Go in, get the data, frighten the people, and get out. Neither of them expected to encounter the Calcassa guarding the research labs because since when did the Calcassa alliance themselves with anyone?
Reborn ducked another whizzing bullet past his head and clipped his shooter with a 99 millimeter without even breaking stride. Even Colonello had to admit that was impressive, considering Reborn was injured. Reborn aimed his next shot at the gasoline tank of a nearby truck. "Duck," he ordered. The tank exploded in the faces of their pursuers.
"Duck, goose, hey," Colonello continued, chuckling to himself.
Reborn rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Military dog."
"Hey, if you don't approve of me, say it to my face!"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
Colonello's finger twitched on the hand grenade at his side. He could make it look like an accident. Throw the grenade in Reborn's path. No one at home would be the wiser. Men like him and Reborn didn't have family who would enquire about their deaths.
Colonello drew his finger away. Who was he kidding? He couldn't kill Reborn. Lal would throw a hissy fit. Reborn might be an annoying sonofabitch, but he was Vongola's best.
In terms of cold-blooded killing, Reborn was in a class of his own. Colonello had never seen anyone do it so elegantly before, as if it were an art form. It was something Colonello both admired and detested because right now, Reborn was making him look like a clumsy idiot.
Colonello cursed loudly when he accidentally set off a land mine and was propelled into the air from the blast. He managed to land safely on both feet and continued running. Merda, he was a lucky sonofagun.
"You better not drop that thumb drive, or I swear to whatever god you believe in, I will neuter you and throw your dirty bits to the cats," Reborn said loudly, evading three bullets with one sidestep.
"I'm a friggin atheist!" Colonello yelled, ducking behind a car and firing shots from his rifle. He smirked when all five shots connected but Reborn didn't even notice, the arrogant bastard.
The two of them managed to lose their Calcassa pursuers amidst the long winding roads of the small town. The civilians had retreated indoors to avoid getting injured in the crossfire. Reborn, at the lead, barged his way into a third-floor apartment, which had a window that overlooked the town.
He looked down, searching for signs of their attackers. When he determined that the coast was clear, he sat down and threw a withering glare at Colonello, who was doing a bad job of calming down the tenant.
"Signora, we mean no harm. We just need to hide-"
But the woman wasn't listening. She prayed at the top of her voice, eyes darting frantically between Colonello and his large rifle. Reborn sighed and cocked his gun, effectively creating silence in the two-bedroom apartment. "I need a drink and some bandages. Sbrigarsi!"
The woman scrambled off. Colonello scowled at his partner. "Couldn't you cut her some slack? She's scared, hey."
"Terrified, I'm sure, but that doesn't help us very much, does it?" Reborn replied coldly.
The woman returned with a bottle of vodka and some clean bandages, which Reborn took with a cursory nod of thanks.
When Colonello first met Reborn, he had deep misgivings about the man who had been all black suit and Italian loafers. Didn't think that a man dressed that well would've been willing to get dirty. Sure as hell was mistaken.
The tailored black coat and pristine white shirt was completely splotched in red. Ruined. Reborn shrugged them off carelessly, paying more attention to his right side where there was a bullet lodged between his ribs. He wiped up the excess blood dribbling down his side with his shirt and calmly waved aside the woman's worried exclamations that he should see a doctor.
Reborn hissed as he poured the drink onto his wound. "Here, let me," Colonello began, but the woman beat him to it and helped Reborn with the bandages. Colonello felt a pang of annoyance that was both curious and confusing.
Reborn threw the blond lieutenant his mobile. "Try not to be completely useless and call for the heli. Give them our exact coordinates and-"
"I know what to do, hey!" Colonello snapped. He flicked the device open and paused. "Which number do I dial, hey?"
"Useless military dog," Reborn sighed. "Speed dial 2."
Once the woman was done, Colonello chased her out of the room without the bottle. He needed that. He took a look swig and leaned against the wall next to the solemn hitman. "You know, they never bothered to tell me why I was assigned this mission with Vongola."
"Probably thought your brain was too small to comprehend."
"You know what, hey? You wanna be hostile, fine by me, hey! I probably ain't never gonna see your stupid face again, so, HEY!" Reborn had snatched the bottle from Colonello and was drinking from it himself.
He sneered at the bottle. "Barely enough to get me tipsy."
Colonello blinked, dumfounded. "That...that is like the nicest thing you said to me all day, hey." Given, Reborn didn't direct that sentence at him but it was the only thing that had come out of Reborn's mouth that wasn't incendiary.
Reborn lifted an eyebrow and snorted. "Lal was right. You're an idiot, so it takes some time to get used to you. But you're tolerable."
"Lal? As is Lal Mirch, hey?" said Colonello with disbelief.
"She was the one who recommended you for this mission. Said you were ready."
"That can't be - she hates me, hey!"
Reborn took another swig. "She does not."
"How would you know, hey?" Colonello paused. "Don't tell me you know too, hey!"
"That woman cannot keep a secret once you get her drunk," smirked Reborn.
"Tell me about it, hey," Colonello snickered. "She's terrible at parties. Come to think about it, I think I've heard her mention you once or twice before, hey."
Reborn stiffened. "Is that so?"
"Yea. Something about you being a tight ass and that there was no way you were 'okay' with Luce getting married, hey," Colonello murmured. He cringed when the nearly empty bottle of vodka met the opposite wall with a loud crash. Colonello considered Reborn, whose lips were white and quivering. His eyes had once again hardened into glass. The blond lieutenant sighed, "If you didn't like it, you could've just given me the bottle, hey. I still wanted a drink."
"Shut up, military dog."
Colonello knew there was no feeling behind those words and so chose to say nothing. He was saved from the growing discomfort when he heard helicopter blades chopping the air and poked his head out the window. When he confirmed that the helicopter was indeed their ride (the large Vongola crest was a huge giveaway), he looked at Reborn, "Think you can manage going up a rope ladder?"
"No, I need you to carry me up like a princess," sneered Reborn. He scanned the apartment. "Where's the woman?"
As if on cue, the door of the apartment burst open and the men they had been trying to escape poured in, firing with no quarter. Colonello caught a bullet in his calf and lower back while Reborn managed to duck and flip a table onto its side to use as a shield. Reborn pulled Colonello behind the table with him. Somehow, the blond lieutenant had managed to retain consciousness.
"Reborn, do you trust me, hey?" he groaned.
"What? Are we fucking roleplaying Titanic now?" the hitman snarled.
"Seriously, hey."
"If you expected me to say yes, you must be more delirious than I thought," Reborn retorted, firing back at the Calcassa from over the top of the table.
"That's still better than a no, right?" Colonello grabbed the Vongola hitman with strength he should not have after being shot twice and jumped out the window.
Reborn was still stunned from the sudden transition of dodging enemy bullets to seeing endless sky to actually do anything as he free-falled with the COMSUBIN lieutenant. He wondered if it was too late to hate the blond idiot when Colonello tightened his arms around his midsection and released a sharp whistle.
Suddenly, they were no longer falling. Reborn looked upwards and was dumfounded at the sight of a large falcon flapping its wings with its talons digging into Colonello's shoulders. Technically, a falcon shouldn't be able to support the weight of two grown men, but Reborn chose not to question this error in reality as the bird of prey successfully delivered them to the helicopter.
The two of them tumbled roughly into the back seat of the helicopter, Reborn wincing as the side of the seat jammed into his wound. The pilot wasted no time in flying them away from harm. This high up, the Calcassa would have to find a bazooka to reach them.
Colonello grinned at his pet and stroked its head fondly. "Good boy, Falco. You never let me down."
Reborn could've sworn that the falcon actually puffed up its chest and preened in front of his master, but he later attributed it to weird hallucinations caused by the pain. Beside him, Colonello was sprawled half on his seat and half on the floor with his eyes closed. Reborn kicked him in the ribs. "Hey, are you dying?"
"Probably," Colonello groaned, inching away from Reborn. "Why? You worried, hey?"
"Nope. If you're dying, it means you're still alive. Try to stay that way until we get some proper medical help."
"A bottle of vodka would be reeeally nice about now, hey," Colonello singsonged.
Reborn kicked him again. "Shut up before you kill yourself, military dog."
"I'd most likely die from your kicks than from speaking, hey."
Colonello continued to chatter endlessly but Reborn didn't stop it. It was annoying as anything but this way Reborn could make sure Colonello didn't lose consciousness and die in his sleep. Sometimes the blond talked sense and other times, he rambled about flying puppies who bullied his falcon. He talked about dreams to bungee jump from the top of a ferris wheel and giving his kid his first gun. ("I even picked out the model.")The more Colonello talked, the softer his voice got until his words were no more than a rasp and wheeze.
Reborn kicked the back of the pilot's chair, asking him to step on it.
Colonello coughed weakly. "You know," he rasped, "if I was the man in charge, things would go differently, hey."
"Yea?" Reborn humoured him, while trying to assess how much longer it would take for them to reach the hospital.
"Yea," Colonello confirmed. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't just threaten those guys back there, hey. We would totally trash the place; really make sure they can't do any of that illegal stuff there any more. Aaaand, I'd totally order Lal Mirch to like me because chattermouth or not, she is a babe, hey." Colonello chuckled deliriously.
Reborn rolled his eyes. If Colonello died on this helicopter, then his would the longest and most mundane dying speech Reborn ever had to hear.
"You know what else, hey?" Colonello continued, coughing.
"Yea, what?"
Colonello sighed, eyes drooping tiredly, his voice dropping to a murmur. "I would make sure that you get the girl, hey."
Reborn snorted to himself. "I'm sure you would."
By the time the helicopter landed on the nearest medical center, Colonello had been out for six minutes. Reborn refused to let the emergency medical team touch him. The head of the team wrung his hands, saying that they had specific orders from Vongola.
Reborn cocked a gun to the man's temple. "How's this for specific? You don't get to treat me until you save this idiot from dying. Vattene!"
"He's only doing his job."
Lal Mirch arrived ten minutes after they landed. She stood in the waiting area together with Reborn, who shot continual glares at the nurses hovering worriedly around him but were too afraid to get close. "You very well know that your life is more precious than Colonello's. Let someone treat you."
"I am fine for the time being."
Lal Mirch shook her head. "That idiot actually managed to impress you? I have to say I'm surprised."
"Did you send him in expecting him to fail?"
"No, but when I heard he got assigned with you, I had my doubts," the woman admitted. "So, what's your verdict?"
"Complete failure," said Reborn. He waved away the falcon that, for the fifth time, was trying to perch on his shoulder. "He's way too green to be even considered. But..." Reborn frowned when the falcon chose to perch on his fedora instead. He wondered if there was any law against cooking a falcon. "Give him a few years. He'll get there." Reborn took out his gun again. Falco got the message and flew away.
Lal Mirch whistled lowly. "Coming from you, that's amazing."
The light above the surgery room went off. The chief surgeon emerged through the double doors, a small smile showing through his surgical mask. Reborn nodded in satisfaction and finally allowed the nurses to undo the wrapping around his torso to assess the damage.
"Oh and Lal," Reborn said, before they could escort him to a sterile room, "when he wakes up, tell him that I died. His reaction should be amusing."
Fandom: KHR
Characters: Colonello, Reborn, hints of Colonello/Lal Mirch and Reborn/Luce
Written for naniaru for the khr_exchange09
The mission was simple. Go in, get the data, frighten the people, and get out. Neither of them expected to encounter the Calcassa guarding the research labs because since when did the Calcassa alliance themselves with anyone?
Reborn ducked another whizzing bullet past his head and clipped his shooter with a 99 millimeter without even breaking stride. Even Colonello had to admit that was impressive, considering Reborn was injured. Reborn aimed his next shot at the gasoline tank of a nearby truck. "Duck," he ordered. The tank exploded in the faces of their pursuers.
"Duck, goose, hey," Colonello continued, chuckling to himself.
Reborn rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Military dog."
"Hey, if you don't approve of me, say it to my face!"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
Colonello's finger twitched on the hand grenade at his side. He could make it look like an accident. Throw the grenade in Reborn's path. No one at home would be the wiser. Men like him and Reborn didn't have family who would enquire about their deaths.
Colonello drew his finger away. Who was he kidding? He couldn't kill Reborn. Lal would throw a hissy fit. Reborn might be an annoying sonofabitch, but he was Vongola's best.
In terms of cold-blooded killing, Reborn was in a class of his own. Colonello had never seen anyone do it so elegantly before, as if it were an art form. It was something Colonello both admired and detested because right now, Reborn was making him look like a clumsy idiot.
Colonello cursed loudly when he accidentally set off a land mine and was propelled into the air from the blast. He managed to land safely on both feet and continued running. Merda, he was a lucky sonofagun.
"You better not drop that thumb drive, or I swear to whatever god you believe in, I will neuter you and throw your dirty bits to the cats," Reborn said loudly, evading three bullets with one sidestep.
"I'm a friggin atheist!" Colonello yelled, ducking behind a car and firing shots from his rifle. He smirked when all five shots connected but Reborn didn't even notice, the arrogant bastard.
The two of them managed to lose their Calcassa pursuers amidst the long winding roads of the small town. The civilians had retreated indoors to avoid getting injured in the crossfire. Reborn, at the lead, barged his way into a third-floor apartment, which had a window that overlooked the town.
He looked down, searching for signs of their attackers. When he determined that the coast was clear, he sat down and threw a withering glare at Colonello, who was doing a bad job of calming down the tenant.
"Signora, we mean no harm. We just need to hide-"
But the woman wasn't listening. She prayed at the top of her voice, eyes darting frantically between Colonello and his large rifle. Reborn sighed and cocked his gun, effectively creating silence in the two-bedroom apartment. "I need a drink and some bandages. Sbrigarsi!"
The woman scrambled off. Colonello scowled at his partner. "Couldn't you cut her some slack? She's scared, hey."
"Terrified, I'm sure, but that doesn't help us very much, does it?" Reborn replied coldly.
The woman returned with a bottle of vodka and some clean bandages, which Reborn took with a cursory nod of thanks.
When Colonello first met Reborn, he had deep misgivings about the man who had been all black suit and Italian loafers. Didn't think that a man dressed that well would've been willing to get dirty. Sure as hell was mistaken.
The tailored black coat and pristine white shirt was completely splotched in red. Ruined. Reborn shrugged them off carelessly, paying more attention to his right side where there was a bullet lodged between his ribs. He wiped up the excess blood dribbling down his side with his shirt and calmly waved aside the woman's worried exclamations that he should see a doctor.
Reborn hissed as he poured the drink onto his wound. "Here, let me," Colonello began, but the woman beat him to it and helped Reborn with the bandages. Colonello felt a pang of annoyance that was both curious and confusing.
Reborn threw the blond lieutenant his mobile. "Try not to be completely useless and call for the heli. Give them our exact coordinates and-"
"I know what to do, hey!" Colonello snapped. He flicked the device open and paused. "Which number do I dial, hey?"
"Useless military dog," Reborn sighed. "Speed dial 2."
Once the woman was done, Colonello chased her out of the room without the bottle. He needed that. He took a look swig and leaned against the wall next to the solemn hitman. "You know, they never bothered to tell me why I was assigned this mission with Vongola."
"Probably thought your brain was too small to comprehend."
"You know what, hey? You wanna be hostile, fine by me, hey! I probably ain't never gonna see your stupid face again, so, HEY!" Reborn had snatched the bottle from Colonello and was drinking from it himself.
He sneered at the bottle. "Barely enough to get me tipsy."
Colonello blinked, dumfounded. "That...that is like the nicest thing you said to me all day, hey." Given, Reborn didn't direct that sentence at him but it was the only thing that had come out of Reborn's mouth that wasn't incendiary.
Reborn lifted an eyebrow and snorted. "Lal was right. You're an idiot, so it takes some time to get used to you. But you're tolerable."
"Lal? As is Lal Mirch, hey?" said Colonello with disbelief.
"She was the one who recommended you for this mission. Said you were ready."
"That can't be - she hates me, hey!"
Reborn took another swig. "She does not."
"How would you know, hey?" Colonello paused. "Don't tell me you know too, hey!"
"That woman cannot keep a secret once you get her drunk," smirked Reborn.
"Tell me about it, hey," Colonello snickered. "She's terrible at parties. Come to think about it, I think I've heard her mention you once or twice before, hey."
Reborn stiffened. "Is that so?"
"Yea. Something about you being a tight ass and that there was no way you were 'okay' with Luce getting married, hey," Colonello murmured. He cringed when the nearly empty bottle of vodka met the opposite wall with a loud crash. Colonello considered Reborn, whose lips were white and quivering. His eyes had once again hardened into glass. The blond lieutenant sighed, "If you didn't like it, you could've just given me the bottle, hey. I still wanted a drink."
"Shut up, military dog."
Colonello knew there was no feeling behind those words and so chose to say nothing. He was saved from the growing discomfort when he heard helicopter blades chopping the air and poked his head out the window. When he confirmed that the helicopter was indeed their ride (the large Vongola crest was a huge giveaway), he looked at Reborn, "Think you can manage going up a rope ladder?"
"No, I need you to carry me up like a princess," sneered Reborn. He scanned the apartment. "Where's the woman?"
As if on cue, the door of the apartment burst open and the men they had been trying to escape poured in, firing with no quarter. Colonello caught a bullet in his calf and lower back while Reborn managed to duck and flip a table onto its side to use as a shield. Reborn pulled Colonello behind the table with him. Somehow, the blond lieutenant had managed to retain consciousness.
"Reborn, do you trust me, hey?" he groaned.
"What? Are we fucking roleplaying Titanic now?" the hitman snarled.
"Seriously, hey."
"If you expected me to say yes, you must be more delirious than I thought," Reborn retorted, firing back at the Calcassa from over the top of the table.
"That's still better than a no, right?" Colonello grabbed the Vongola hitman with strength he should not have after being shot twice and jumped out the window.
Reborn was still stunned from the sudden transition of dodging enemy bullets to seeing endless sky to actually do anything as he free-falled with the COMSUBIN lieutenant. He wondered if it was too late to hate the blond idiot when Colonello tightened his arms around his midsection and released a sharp whistle.
Suddenly, they were no longer falling. Reborn looked upwards and was dumfounded at the sight of a large falcon flapping its wings with its talons digging into Colonello's shoulders. Technically, a falcon shouldn't be able to support the weight of two grown men, but Reborn chose not to question this error in reality as the bird of prey successfully delivered them to the helicopter.
The two of them tumbled roughly into the back seat of the helicopter, Reborn wincing as the side of the seat jammed into his wound. The pilot wasted no time in flying them away from harm. This high up, the Calcassa would have to find a bazooka to reach them.
Colonello grinned at his pet and stroked its head fondly. "Good boy, Falco. You never let me down."
Reborn could've sworn that the falcon actually puffed up its chest and preened in front of his master, but he later attributed it to weird hallucinations caused by the pain. Beside him, Colonello was sprawled half on his seat and half on the floor with his eyes closed. Reborn kicked him in the ribs. "Hey, are you dying?"
"Probably," Colonello groaned, inching away from Reborn. "Why? You worried, hey?"
"Nope. If you're dying, it means you're still alive. Try to stay that way until we get some proper medical help."
"A bottle of vodka would be reeeally nice about now, hey," Colonello singsonged.
Reborn kicked him again. "Shut up before you kill yourself, military dog."
"I'd most likely die from your kicks than from speaking, hey."
Colonello continued to chatter endlessly but Reborn didn't stop it. It was annoying as anything but this way Reborn could make sure Colonello didn't lose consciousness and die in his sleep. Sometimes the blond talked sense and other times, he rambled about flying puppies who bullied his falcon. He talked about dreams to bungee jump from the top of a ferris wheel and giving his kid his first gun. ("I even picked out the model.")The more Colonello talked, the softer his voice got until his words were no more than a rasp and wheeze.
Reborn kicked the back of the pilot's chair, asking him to step on it.
Colonello coughed weakly. "You know," he rasped, "if I was the man in charge, things would go differently, hey."
"Yea?" Reborn humoured him, while trying to assess how much longer it would take for them to reach the hospital.
"Yea," Colonello confirmed. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't just threaten those guys back there, hey. We would totally trash the place; really make sure they can't do any of that illegal stuff there any more. Aaaand, I'd totally order Lal Mirch to like me because chattermouth or not, she is a babe, hey." Colonello chuckled deliriously.
Reborn rolled his eyes. If Colonello died on this helicopter, then his would the longest and most mundane dying speech Reborn ever had to hear.
"You know what else, hey?" Colonello continued, coughing.
"Yea, what?"
Colonello sighed, eyes drooping tiredly, his voice dropping to a murmur. "I would make sure that you get the girl, hey."
Reborn snorted to himself. "I'm sure you would."
By the time the helicopter landed on the nearest medical center, Colonello had been out for six minutes. Reborn refused to let the emergency medical team touch him. The head of the team wrung his hands, saying that they had specific orders from Vongola.
Reborn cocked a gun to the man's temple. "How's this for specific? You don't get to treat me until you save this idiot from dying. Vattene!"
"He's only doing his job."
Lal Mirch arrived ten minutes after they landed. She stood in the waiting area together with Reborn, who shot continual glares at the nurses hovering worriedly around him but were too afraid to get close. "You very well know that your life is more precious than Colonello's. Let someone treat you."
"I am fine for the time being."
Lal Mirch shook her head. "That idiot actually managed to impress you? I have to say I'm surprised."
"Did you send him in expecting him to fail?"
"No, but when I heard he got assigned with you, I had my doubts," the woman admitted. "So, what's your verdict?"
"Complete failure," said Reborn. He waved away the falcon that, for the fifth time, was trying to perch on his shoulder. "He's way too green to be even considered. But..." Reborn frowned when the falcon chose to perch on his fedora instead. He wondered if there was any law against cooking a falcon. "Give him a few years. He'll get there." Reborn took out his gun again. Falco got the message and flew away.
Lal Mirch whistled lowly. "Coming from you, that's amazing."
The light above the surgery room went off. The chief surgeon emerged through the double doors, a small smile showing through his surgical mask. Reborn nodded in satisfaction and finally allowed the nurses to undo the wrapping around his torso to assess the damage.
"Oh and Lal," Reborn said, before they could escort him to a sterile room, "when he wakes up, tell him that I died. His reaction should be amusing."