Fic: Encounter
Encounter (or, another retelling of the Narada story)
Spock has heard many rumours about this Cadet Kirk. Given the proper opportunity, he would really like to meet him.
Spock has seen this cadet file before. The photo included was a grainy, little thing, taken from an old instant photo booth. In it, Kirk was brooding; lips fixed in a smirk of disdain. Dried blood trailed under his nose. His face, while handsome, was twisted into an expression that screamed he has something to prove.
This photo of Kirk was three years old.
Since then, Kirk has become the most talked about person on campus.
He was the man with the famous father. He was also the genius who passed Professor Vassbinder's Temporal Mechanics class despite being absent half the time. If the rumours were to be believed, Kirk has slept with more than half of the student population, only three-quarters of which were female and a portion of it non-human species. Other popular stories included Kirk outdrinking a Klingon and fathering a child with a married woman.
Spock closed the file. It amazed Spock a little that although Kirk was undoubtedly a hard man to miss, he has yet to have a proper encounter with him. Kirk did not take any of his classes. Neither was he involved in any of the extra-curricular activities Spock supervised.
To be sure, Spock must have crossed paths with Kirk before. Starfleet Academy's campus grounds were not so large that two individuals could completely miss one another for three years.
But Spock has not looked this cadet in the face before. He has not stood before James Kirk and held a proper conversation. Not to Spock's memory anyway. And his memory was eidetic.
In spite of this, Spock has amassed a lot of information regarding Kirk thanks to his students' idle chatter. He now possessed the information that Kirk has a delectable backside, a charming personality, a flirtatious personality, an arrogant personality, a blatant disregard for personal safety, a stepfather, a Starfleet mother, a criminal record, a friend called MCoy and an aptitude for every subject except Interspecies Protocol (which Spock taught) because he found it 'ridiculous'.
Spock refrained from showing signs of weariness when he heard another cadet offer another factoid about Kirk in the middle of class. He looked at her - Cadet Michaels. "If Cadet Kirk has made any significant progress in relation to interspecies ethics, by all means, you may speak of him in the class. In the meantime, please refrain from offering frivolous information, cadet."
The cadet nearly burst into tears.
Strangely enough, this incident only served to increase Kirk's notoriety. Spock's reprimand of the female cadet started wild rumours that Spock himself has unpleasant relations with Kirk. These stories ranged from Spock banning the mention of Kirk's name in his class to Spock being upset due to a messy breakup after a torrid love affair with Kirk, whose lovemaking skills were, by now, legendary.
(Spock became mildly curious about how rumours developed because of this.)
It was intriguing how one individual consumed the attention of so many. Spock wondered if Kirk knew of this phenomenon himself.
Nyota Uhura, the brightest student in Spock's advanced phonology class, assured him that yes Kirk was aware, and when Spock expressed concern that he had helped, however accidentally, slander Kirk's good name, Uhura smiled and said that Kirk has no more good name to speak of and that don't worry, Kirk was a 'dick' anyhow.
Spock was so confused by the colloquialism that the next few times someone brought up Kirk's name, he envisioned a human penis.
X
In spite of himself, Spock was looking forward to the next Kobayashi Maru testing. His interest with the Kobayashi Maru had begun and ended with the programming. He has not sat in on any of the actual testing because he knew all the Command track cadets, who have to take the test at least once as part of a course requirement, would fail.
And they have. Spectacularly. Less than half returned for a second attempt at what has been known as the 'impossible test'. James Kirk was the first to apply for a third.
This was in itself a curious event. That it was Kirk perpetrating it made it even more interesting. It made Kirk an even more curious individual to his eyes.
Spock already has a very good grasp on Kirk the concept. He would very much like his chance to experience Kirk the human. Watching him sit the Kobayashi Maru would be an excellent opportunity to do so. He would be able to see how to famous indomitable Kirk-ian will dealt with a no-win scenario, now that the test has already defeated him twice.
As it were, Spock would never get to see Kirk sit for the test.
A day before it was slotted to take place, Starfleet received a distress call from Vulcan. Something about a 'lightning storm' in space.
X
The USS Enterprise was the largest ship Spock has ever seen of its kind. At 2500 feet long and 625 feet high, it drew stares of awe even from those who were assigned elsewhere. Even in stationary setting, the Enterprise's Bussard collectors emitted a dull blue glow, as if hinting at the power and potential resting underneath its smooth, sloping exterior.
Spock could understand why Nyota petitioned to serve on this ship.
Aside from the fact that it was officially the newest and flashiest Federation flagship, of course.
Inside the Enterprise however, there was chaos. Greenhorn cadets shoved into their new assignments were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, looking dreadfully lost. Being the first of its kind, the Enterprise's floor plans and room allocations were slightly different from other existing ships and Spock could tell this was confusing a great deal of them.
Not having the patience to deal with this sort of madness today, Spock sidestepped the panicked cadets into the turbolift. Before the doors closed, however, Spock saw a fair-haired young man climb onto an elevated fixture and called loudly for order. He quickly assumed a role of that not unlike a traffic policeman.
"Orwell, Kasinski, Lee; the three of you are in engineering, aren't you? That's Deck 6. The turbolift is at the end to your left. Water, you're under Dr. Puri. Sickbay is on Deck 6. Bones, take her with you. Watanabe, D'hor - auxiliary machinery's on Deck 9. Jeffery, stop gawking and get your ass to the transporter room!"
Spock lifted an eyebrow at the unusual spectacle but thought nothing more of it as he arrived on the bridge. He nodded stiffly at every greeting directed his way, went to stand at his station, and waited for the captain to make his appearance.
Minutes passed and still there was no sign of Captain Pike approaching the bridge. His absence became more and more pronounced as, one by one, the other starships warped away from the station, sprinting into war, and all the Enterprise could do was wait.
Spock invariably found the officers on the bridge turning to him for orders. Spock was a bit unnerved himself. Captain Pike was not the type of person to be late for anything. Spock considered opening a channel to Starfleet to enquire about their missing captain when the turbolift doors suddenly opened and Christopher Pike stormed in.
No one dared to ask about his tardiness because of the storm that was raging on his face. At Pike's heels was Uhura, who gave Spock a quick, worried glance as Pike sank heavily into his chair. He snapped his fingers at the navigator.
"Russian whiz kid, your name? Cherpov? Chenkov?"
The young boy jumped in his seat. "Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andrevich, sir," he squeaked.
"Ensign, have you performed the ship-wide mission broadcast?"
Chekov faltered even more under Pike's hard glare, obviously wondering what he had done wrong in the few seconds since Pike arrived. "No, sir. I was vaiting for-"
"Good. I want you to issue it right now based on the information I'm about to give you," said Pike. Chekov sat up straighter in attention. "The distress call from Vulcan isn't due to unnatural seismic activity as we have been led to believe. It's caused by an attack by a rogue Romulan ship."
Spock stood up in surprise. "Captain?"
"Try to pass this information to the other ships as well." When he was met with shocked silence, Pike frowned. "Are you waiting for an invitation? I know the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance but right now, we can afford neither cheer nor time. Helmsman McKenna-"
"-has lungworm, sir," said the Japanese man in the pilot seat. "I am Hikaru Sulu."
"Fine, Mr. Sulu, thrusters on full. Maximum warp. Let's hope we can make it in time."
"Captain, I do not understand. What has prompted your decision in changing the premises of this mission?" said Spock.
"An inference has been brought to my attention. That strange seismic activity - that 'lightning storm' in space - has happened before 25 years ago right before the USS Kelvin was destroyed by a Romulan ship with advanced weapon. That ship was never seen or heard from again. Until the Klingon transmission yesterday."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "What Klingon transmission?"
"The one I intercepted, sir," said Uhura, speaking for the first time at Pike's side. "The transmission was sent from a warbird that was destroyed by an unidentified Romulan ship on the edge of Vulcan space."
Spock froze. "Captain."
Pike nodded. "Yes. Kirk's probably right. We're flying right into a trap."
"Unable to pass along the new information, sir," said the communications officer. "The other ships are not responding."
The feeling of dread which had settled low in Spock's stomach upon the current revelation now climbed up to his throat. The calm, quiet voice in his head was beginning to sound like a roar in his ears.
Chekov turned in his seat. "Ten seconds to Vulcan."
X
The bridge went silent after Nero ended his transmission. When Pike stood from his seat, Spock immediately stepped up to block his path. "Sir, if you comply with his wishes, it is unlikely that you will return."
"Noted," said Pike before addressing the bridge. "Who here has combat training."
Sulu raised his hand. "I have training, sir."
"Kirk too," said Uhura, who has taken the place of communications officer on the bridge. After hearing her complain about Kirk's faults only days ago in, Spock didn't expect her to champion him now. She shrugged and reasoned, "He spent three years picking bar fights. He must know how to defend himself."
Spock frowned. This was something he hasn't heard about Kirk before. He realised that people talked plenty about Kirk's present achievements, but hardly mentioned anything of his past. It was intriguing.
"Okay. Sulu, Olson, walk with me. Lieutenant Uhura, summon Kirk to the hangar. Spock, you come with me too."
Spock pushed his apprehension to the back of his mind and followed Pike off the bridge. Pike walked at such a brisk pace that Sulu and Olson struggled to keep up. He came to an abrupt stop in front of the service turbolift connecting the deck to the shuttlecraft hangar. Punching in a code to open a channel, Pike said, "Kirk, you there?"
"Yes, sir," said Kirk through the intercom. He sounded bewildered and a little out of breath, as if he'd sprinted from wherever he was posted to the hangar as fast as he could. "Where are you, sir?"
Spock recognised that voice. Was that not the cadet who stopped to direct his fellow officers to their stations earlier? Spock frowned. That had been Kirk?
"Deck 3. But stay where you are, son. I'll brief you gentlemen on what is going to happen here on out. If we don't destroy the Romulan drill, we can't beam down to Vulcan, and we can't do our job. Kirk, Sulu, Olson - you three are to space jump from a shuttle down to the drill and disable it. I'll be piloting the shuttle. After you jump, I will meet Nero to negotiate terms for a ceasefire."
"With all due respect, sir, that is a stupid plan," said Kirk.
"I agree, captain," said Spock, jumping at an opportunity to debate the wisdom of Pike's decision again.
"Who's that?" asked Kirk.
"This is Commander Spock," said Spock.
"Not anymore," said Pike. "You're captain now, Spock. I'm leaving this ship in your care. Sulu, I'm promoting you to First Officer." Sulu did a little surprised jerk with his head and attempted a smile. The outcome was a pained grimace. He stepped into the turbolift after PIke and Olson, looking more nervous about his new position than the dangerous task he was about to perform.
"Be careful with her, Spock. She's brand new," jested Pike. The doors closed before Spock could object to Pike's orders. Spock refrained from sighing.
There was a crackle over the speakers as Kirk himself sighed openly. "Hey, at least we tried, Comman - er - Captain Spock. Kirk out." The connection cut off.
Spock turned and retreated to the bridge.
X
The next time Spock encountered Kirk, his world was crumbling around his ears. He barely registered the Russian ensign, who should have been on the bridge, staring at him in dumb surprise from behind the transporter console as he stepped onto the pad just as Kirk and Sulu stumbled off it.
"Beam me down at once," said Spock.
"Commander Spock, you can't beam down there! The landscape is already collapsing," said Sulu.
Spock ignored him and crouched down to the proper beaming position. "Energise!"
"He's what?" said Kirk loudly. "Spock!" He turned.
Spock caught a shock of blue eyes before his particles were disassembled.
The katric ark was already breaking under the strong gravitational pull of the black hole by the time Spock found his parents. He first heard his mother gasp his name, eyes wide and round with surprise. This reaction was understandable, considering his manner of departure from Vulcan to join Starfleet three years ago.
In those years, Spock has not once returned to his home planet. It was cruel now that he has finally returned, Vulcan was about to be no more.
He held his hand out for his mother to grasp. Upon the moment of contact, Spock felt all of her joy at seeing him. Even as panic edged every thought and movement as they thwarted death again and again by dodging the falling debris of Vulcan's history, Spock could feel his mother mentally beaming at him. My darling boy, how you've grown!
Spock tightened his hand around hers as he flipped open his communicator. "This is Acting Captain Spock. Five to beam up."
He heard the Russian ensign reply, "I haf lock on your positions. Don't move!"
The lights of the transporter beam began to swirl around them. Spock allowed a sliver of relief to seep through. He squeezed his mother's hand and released her. Amanda looked away from him to the collapsing landscape of Vulcan with heartbreak in her eyes. The ground shook beneath their feet and Amanda teetered a little.
Spock reached out a hand to steady her but before he could, the ground shook again and the world fell quickly beneath Amanda's feet. She screamed.
Spock could hear blood in his ears. Was that him screaming? Was it him the Vulcan elders were looking at with fear in their eyes? Spock blinked and when he opened his eyes again, he was staring at the interior of the transporter pad.
His hand stretched out to empty space where his mother should be. In his head, he felt her presence wrench away from him. From the corner of his eye, Spock saw his father take a small shuddering breath. It was the most emotion he has seen on Sarek's face and with gut-clenching despair, he realised that his mother was truly no more.
Why did he let go of her hand?
The thought alone filled him with such grief it wracked the entire landscape of his being. His inner voice, always calm, now howled like a wounded beast. Mental hands scrabbled fruitlessly to find the psionic bond he's had with his mother all his life. It felt like he'd been robbed of a limb.
Spock wondered what he must look like now. Was his misery written clear across his face? Could Ensign Chekov take one look at him and know right away how much he suffered?
A hand touched his arm.
Spock shuddered. His shields were all but gone. Every thought and emotion from this person flowed into his head as smoothly as water filling up a river. Are you okay? Look horrible. Sorry. So sorry. Pull yourself together. You will get through this. You are captain. Spock. Is there anyone out there? Need help? Spock? Don't be like this right now. Get a hold of yourself! And then it was gone. The hand and the soothing presence in his head.
Spock blinked. Who was that?
Spock stepped off the transporter pad, still unpleasantly dazed.
He saw Sulu and Kirk walking out of the transporter room to give the Vulcans some privacy. Spock moved to follow them. There was no time for grief right now. He has a ship to captain.
X
After the Enterprise successfully maneuvered away from the black hole, Spock made his first log as acting captain. It was hard not to just break into sobs. His psionic control was in tatters. So many bonds were forcefully cut from his today. He felt like a leaf cut loose and left to buffet helplessly amidst the wind.
His father and the elders, who have knows these bonds longer and more intimately, no doubt felt the grief more keenly. But Spock was young and the wild thing in the back of his head was getting closer to swallowing him whole.
Spock stood up and strode towards the turbolift with the intention to seek some privacy and find, with luck, a peace of mind. Unfortunately, Uhura squeezed into the lift before it departed from the bridge and pressed the button to halt the descent of the mechanism.
Spock could feel himself vibrating as Uhura stepped closer. In the past, he has looked forward to her company. She was one of the few individuals who were not overtly intimidated by his Vulcan differences and her own bright mind delighted Spock. But now, he wanted to brush her away. He did not think he could deal with human pleasantries at the moment.
He opened his mouth to say so. But then, she curled a hand around the back of his neck and pressed a warm kiss to his lips. Her touch sent a surge of reassuring thoughts and emotions through him. They felt so warm in his head. The new emptiness rejoiced at the presence of another. Spock couldn't help himself. He clung on greedily.
"What do you need?" she whispered against his skin.
Spock's skin tingled where her lips touched him. She kissed again and again. It was intoxicating. Spock wanted more. He nervously returned one kiss, revelling in Uhura's emotions, before pulling away and making the turbolift move again. There would be another time for this.
"I need everyone to continue perfoming admirably." Including myself, he didn't say.
She acquiesed and gave him one final, sweet kiss.
X
Spock's departure from the bridge was a short one. Ten point two minutes to be exact. However, by the time he returned, a new development has taken place.
"Kirk is gone, captain," said Sulu.
Spock frowned. Not two hours he has taken command of this ship and already one of his crew has committed insubordination. "Where, dare I ask?" he asked in the soft voice most of his students have come to fear.
"Delta Wega, Keptin. He sed he received as S.O.S. signal from ze planet and took one of ze shuttles," said Chekov.
"Why did he not report this and wait for my orders?"
"He said you were not in the right emotional state to issue orders at the moment," said Sulu rather timidly, which was understandable given the way Spock was glaring at him.
Spock seethed. Who was this human to decided whether ot not he was in a fit emotional state? Brilliant as Kirk might be, he was still a cadet! A greenhorn, at that. Fuming, Spock said, "We will proceed without Mr. Kirk. By failing to obtain my permission, Mr. Kirk has committed mutiny."
The rest of the bridge stared openly at him.
"He did ask for my permission, captain," said Sulu.
"I am the acting captain of this vessel. It is my permission he required to commandeer that shuttle. Pray tell, what persuaded you to allow Mr. Kirk the use of one of our shuttles when we are on the brink of war with the Romulans, Mr. Sulu?" said Spock.
"The emergency transmission, sir," said Uhura. "It was in Vulcan."
Spock reeled from the revelation. A Vulcan on Delta Vega? How was that possible? "How did Kirk manage to receive this transmission when his place is on the Engineering Deck?"
Uhura's eyes softened. "He was picking up signals with me, captain. He wanted to search for surviving Vulcans who would have required our assistance."
Is there anyone out there? Need help?
Spock fisted his hand. He should turn back. The shuttle that took Kirk to Delta Vega has no warp capabilities. Even if he found the mystery Vulcan, Kirk would have no way of returning to the Enterprise.
"Keptin?"
Spock shoved those thoughts away. There were more important things at stake right now. "Head for the Laurentian system. We will join up with the rest of the fleet to plan a counterattack."
"Yes, sir."
The bridge crew turned back to their stations, enveloped by a stony silence.
X
Spock raised his head in surprise when he heard the intercom channel open in the science lab. His surprise grew into disbelief when he heard the same voice he has thus far connected to a grainy instant booth photo (and sometimes, during lapses of concentration, a human penis) because Kirk was supposed to be on Delta Vega.
"Captain," said Kirk, "it's against regulations to lock the ion study lab when there is no ongoing experiment warranting a closed door."
Spock was torn between opening the door to demand how Kirk managed to return to the Enterprise when it was traveling at warp speed, and staying where he was because he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He chose the latter.
"I have relinquished captaincy to Mr. Sulu, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised by the mission."
"Yeah, I heard from Bones."
Spock remembered all 164 names serving aboard the Enterprise; about a quarter of whom have already died due to Nero's attacks. None of them has the name 'Bones'.
"How did you get back on this ship, Mr. Kirk?"
"Why have you locked the door, Mr. Spock?"
Spock didn't answer because from Kirk's inflection, he gathered that Kirk already understood why. Spock wondered how Kirk had known he was here. He's denied the computer mainframe access to his location and had chosen to rest here for the express reason of not being found. Yet, Kirk still managed to locate him. What an infuriating individual.
"It's a pretty cool things you did, by the way: giving up the captain's seat like that. Not everyone would have been able to do that," said Kirk.
"It was the logical decision to make. I lost my neutrality regarding this mission-"
"How could you not? You lost your mother, your friends, your entire planet-"
"Vulcans do not have friends."
"Liar."
"I beg your pardon?" said Spock in surprise.
Kirk cleared his throat. "I mean, wanna make one?" He then fell silent, presumably to let Spock answer. But Spock didn't know what to say. "You know, I lost a father to Nero. I'm not trying to compare our situations or anything but I just thought you should know. When Nero attacked the Kelvin, he changed my life before I even knew it. That's 24 years, and counting, striving to live up to the memory of a dead person and trying not to be the little fuck-up everyone thinks I am. So - there's that. If that - if that makes you feel better at all. Because misery loves company and all..."
Spock heard Kirk derail into soft swears. Shit, I'm so bad at this.
Perhaps this was why Spock hasn't heard much about Kirk's past. Because like Spock's, it wasn't one to be shared lightly.
This was not what Spock expected from Kirk at all. Confident, arrogant James Kirk with his off-the-chart scores and practically the entire student body in awe of him. The same Kirk was now attempting to make Spock feel better and Spock was a little surprised to discover that he was heartened by the attempt.
"Your assumptions are superfluous, Mr. Kirk," said Spock. He heard Kirk stir a little, as if he had not been expecting a response. "Not everyone thinks that you are - as you put it - a 'little fuck-up'."
There was silence on the other side.
"...Thanks."
Spock could almost hear the sincere smile in Kirk's voice, which was ridiculous. One could not hear smiles. But whatever warm emotion he felt for Kirk was quickly stamped down when the man followed his thanks with, "By the way, we're changing course to chase the Narada instead. Kirk out."
He was gone before Spock could even voice a noise of protest.
X
Spock was very angry with Acting Captain Sulu. The Japanese man was a top-notch pilot and an excellent officer. As a captain, however, he lacked the necessary backbone this particular mission required.
"Not only did you make the unwise decision of chasing the Narada but you allowed Mr. Kirk to beam aboard the enemy ship alone?" fumed Spock. "Why have you been taking orders from a cadet, Captain Sulu?"
"Because he's right! We have to stop Nero before he does to Earth what he did to Vulcan."
"By thinking so, you have risked the lives of everyone on this ship. Joining up with the primary fleet is the logical choice of action to increase our chances of subjugating the Romulans."
"I'm not letting Earth get destroyed," said Sulu.
"By sacrificing Mr. Kirk's life?" At any other point in time, Spock would have been affronted at his own emotional outburst. Even Uhura looked worried.
"This is a stealth operation, Mr. Spock. Would you prefer I send the entire security team to expose Kirk's presence on the Narada?"
"Send me."
The bridge fell silent in shock. Sulu goggled at him. "Excuse me?"
"Vulcans and Romulans share a common ancestry. I will be able to decipher their ship's computer system and aid Kirk in his endeavour." Spock punctuated his suggestion with a hard glare. He found that humans tended to falter in their resolve whenever he did this.
Sulu frowned. "Are you sure?"
"I too do not wish for Earth to suffer the same fate as Vulcan. My mother was human, which makes Earth the only home I have left."
Sulu relented with a sigh. "Report to the transporter room. I'll tell Engineer Scott to expect you."
Spock raised an eyebrow. There was no Engineer Scott on the Enterprise. The man slotted to replace Engineer Olson should anything befall him (which it did) was called Langley. Spock chose not to correct Sulu.
"Captain Sulu, if I may venture a question," he said.
"What is it?"
"You have known Kirk for less than six point nine hours, and in that period, could not have spent much time building a rapport with him. Why do you so readily trust his judgement?"
Sulu stiffened in his seat. He didn't look comfortable in the captain's chair. In fact, it appeared too large for him in some inexplicable way. Illogical, considering Sulu shared the same build as Captain Pike, but there it was.
"Well, for one, the man definitely knows what he's doing. Those top marks weren't just for show. And, he saved my life."
Spock pursed his lips. "Illogical."
He saw Sulu scowl and was most likely preparing for a caustic comeback when Spock turned on his heels and left the bridge.
X
The man sitting behind the control panels in the transporter room looked very surprised when Spock came striding in and stepped onto the platform. "Ye look somewhat familiar. Haf we met somewhere before?" the man asked in a thick Scottish accent.
Spock stared at the unfamiliar man. "Engineer Scott, I presume. I am going after Mr. Kirk. Beam me onto the Narada."
"Yea, the captain told me." Engineer Scott snapped his fingers just as the doors of the turbolift slid open, revealing Uhura who looked rather displeased. No doubt she was upset by his decision to board the Narada, but the look in her dark eyes was not one of distress. It was resignation. However, Spock was distracted from Uhura's emotional status by Engineer Scott's next words. "I know who ye remind me off! Tha' Vulcan on Delta Vega!"
"You were on Delta Vega?" said Spock with disbelief.
The redshirt engineer nodded. "Kirk saved me from tha' ice planet. Dunno why tha' Vulcan chose ta stay, tho'."
So there was a Vulcan on Delta Vega. How curious.
Uhura stepped up onto the platform. She looked like she wanted to hug him or kiss him, or something. Spock would've allowed it. He felt affection for Uhura, who in all her beauty, elegance, and logic, would've made quite the Vulcan. Instead, she touched his cheek affectionately.
"Be careful, Spock," she said and moved away. "I'll be monitoring your frequency."
"Thank you."
"Alrigh', got the coordinates punched in. Energising," said Engineer Scott. As the light of the transporter swirled around him, Spock saw the engineer turn to Uhura with high eyebrows and ask, "Didja just call him Spock?"
Spock materialised in what appeared to be the engineering deck of the Narada. There were unconscious Romulans scattered across the black floor. Kirk's doing, Spock assumed. He unholstered his phaser and flipped open his communicator. "Kirk, report your status and location."
He heard Kirk's communicator bleat to life with so much feedback Spock had to strain his ears to hear Kirk above the crackling. "Spock, is that you?" There were sounds of phaser fire. "I'm in the process of retrieving Captain Pike."
"And the black hole device?"
"I'm hoping Pike will be able to tell me how to find and destroy it. The two of us are due to beam back onboard the Enterprise in 30 minutes whether or not I succeed."
"30 minutes in insufficient for you to accomplish the aforementioned tasks. I will find the black hole device. You will focus on finding Captain Pike and aiding in his escape."
Kirk made a funny noise that sounded suspiciously like a shriek. "Spock, are you on the Narada?!"
"Affirmative."
"Are you crazy? It's not safe for you here! In case you haven't noticed, there's a mad Romulan who wants you dead!"
"Kirk, the chances of stopping Nero are better if I assist you here. As it is you are in a similarly dangerous position of getting killed." As if to assert his point, he was interrupted by another exchange of phaser fire on Kirk's end. When the scurry ended, Spock continued. "But should my life be terminated prematurely here, could you tell Lieutenant Uhura-"
"Oh no, we are not playing this game. I hate this game. You are coming back with me, Spock," said Spock.
"Kirk, I do not-"
"Jim. My name is Jim. Now that we're officially in a life-or-death situation together, you might as well know my name."
I already know your name, Spock refrained from saying. And up till four point two hours ago, I thought I knew the person you were. "My name is Schn T'gai Spock."
"I have no idea what you just said. I'll see you back on the ship. Kirk out." Once again, Kirk was gone before Spock could squeeze in a word edgewise. This was starting to get on his nerves.
X
Spock felt something akin to trepidation when he saw the ship that housed the black hole device, or as the Romulans called it, 'red matter'. The ship's controls were unexpectedly advanced and Spock questioned his own ability to man it successfully. More alarmingly, the ship's computer knew him "Voice and facial recognition complete. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock."
Welcome back. What odd words.
And then there was that title. Spock has, at no point in time, been an ambassador. Spock couldn't help but wonder if a certain mystery Vulcan on Delta Vega has something to do with this.
Spock flipped open his communicator. "Kirk, there has been some complication -"
He paused when he heard his own voice being parroted back at him from outside the ship. Cautiously, Spock stepped down from the shuttle and saw Kirk's communicator lying in two pieces on the floor right next to an unconscious Romulan.
Dread was mixed in with the suspicion that crept up the back of his mind as he tried to process what had probably happened. Kirk was captured. Kirk had most likely lost in a physical battle with the Romulans. It was possible that he was, by now, dead.
Spock blinked. He needed to focus on the mission. With Kirk gone, he was responsible for rescuing Captain Pike as well. But the lump in his throat refused to dislodge. No, his mind screamed. He was jumping to conclusions. Kirk could not be dead. Kirk, who was one of the best fighters in his year, could not have gone down so easily. Kirk must be alive. He must be. Spock didn't know what to do if he wasn't.
Why do you care?
"Spock, are you there?"
Spock jumped when he heard Kirk's voice come through his communicator. He nearly dropped the device in his haste to retrieve it from his side. "Kirk?"
"I've located Captain Pike!" said Kirk triumphantly.
"I've located your communicator," said Spock slowly. "It's in two."
"Oh that. The transmitter got banged up during the fight so I left it. But I've rewired one of the Romulan communicators so it's all good."
"You reprogrammed a communicator that was written in Romulan?"
"Jimmy here is a genius. Didn't you know that, Spock?" said Captain Pike, who sounded worse for wear but very much alive, and that was what's important right now.
"It is good to hear from you, Captain. However, there are complications with the black hole device.The ship that houses it has controls far more advanced than -"
"You can do it," said Kirk.
"Kirk?" said Pike.
"That ship is yours, isn't it?"
Spock swallowed. "How do you know this?"
"I met you."
Spock reeled from the implications of Kirk's words. There were so many questions he wanted to ask Kirk. About the ship. About the Vulcan on Delta Vega. But all he managed to say was, "I see."
"Listen, I have a plan."
Spock heard Pike groan.
"What? It's a good one, I swear," said Kirk defensively. "Here is what we do."
X
By the end of the mission, the chain of command in the Enterprise was in shambles. Captain Pile was in Sickbay, as was Spock, who managed to slice open his side while crashing the ambassador's ship into the Narada. Sulu was the acting captain, but for some reason it was Kirk in the captain's chair, ordering Engineer Scott to eject the dilithium cores in a last, desperate attempt to escape the black hole.
No one knew who was in charge.
To avoid more confusion, Sulu appointed Kirk as his First Officer. If one were to follow the general order, Sulu should have appointed the chief engineer as his second-in-command instead. However, considering the fact that Engineer Scott was not supposed to be on the Enterprise in the first place, perhaps Sulu's decision was not so strange.
Pike laughed when Spock voiced his concerns regarding the matter. "Nothing in this mission is as it should be."
"You are correct, sir."
Sarek visited Spock in Sickbay once to ascertain his health. Nyota came to see him every day and thought it cold of Sarek to not see his son more often now that most of his relations were gone. Spock admonished her kindly. "It is because most of his bonds are now gone that he has to heal his mind. As do I. As I will, once I recover my strength."
The cut in his side was not very serious. But Spock wanted a little more time to mourn; to feel the depth of the wound caused by his mother's death before he attempted to cauterise it. It was an illogical decision. It was very human of him.
Ten hours before the Enterprise was slotted to arrive at Earth, Spock received a private transmission from Kirk. PIke was asleep in the next biobed so Spock turned down the volume and opened the call.
"How are you feeling?" Kirk's voice filtered through the speakers.
"I am well, Mr. Kirk," said Spock.
"Sorry about the audio call, by the way. I've just been working overtime on reports and I kinda look like hell right now. I'd go down to Sickbay and visit you personally but Sulu threatened to flambe my ass if I don't get these done before we arrive on Earth."
Actually Spock was rather grateful for the audio call. He did not want Kirk to see him in such a weak and sorry state either. "I am certain that Captain Sulu will do no such thing." Kirk snorted. Spock chose to ignore it. "Why have you called me?"
"Right. I didn't mean to ramble. It's just ... when we arrive on Earth, all hell is going to break loose."
Spock blinked. "I don't understand."
"The media. They're going to want to know everything. And Bones says that you should have been out of Sickbay along time ago. So what are you still doing there?"
"I wish to mourn."
"Okay, I get that. But - I'm not sure if you know this but Sulu isn't really fit to be captain. Not right now, anyway," said Kirk. Spock raised an eyebrow. So Kirk has noticed this too. "He's a great guy and all but he sucks at giving orders and motivating the crew. When we get back, the media are going to be targeting whoever is the captain and Sulu isn't well-equipped to handle that kind of pressure. The Enterprise needs a strong leader right now, and seeing as Pike is out of commission for a few months, it has to be you."
"I have just lost my home. What makes you think I am suited for this at this moment?"
"Because you're Spock. You can do anything," said Kirk. It was a childish boost of confidence. It should not have been able to lift Spock's spirits. "Besides, I'm not asking you to lead us into battle or anything. Just help us withstand the media onslaught. Plus, you're Vulcan and all, so you can bully them into being nice to you."
When Spock gave no immediate response, Kirk sighed. "Give me a break here. I'm not used to persuading someone else to take the limelight. I'm usually the one hogging it."
"I am aware."
"You've heard the rumours."
"They are hard to avoid."
Kirk made a noncommittal sound. "Whatever. You've got three hours to decide whether or not to take captaincy. If you don't, then I will."
The transmission was abruptly cut off.
Spock stared at the communication device, speechless. He then turned and saw that Pike was awake. "Captain Pike," said Spock, "did Mr. Kirk just threaten mutiny?"
To his surprise, Pike laughed. "Yes, I suppose he did."
Spock quickly opened a call to Sulu. If he warned him now, perhaps Sulu could demote Kirk and -
"Yes, Mr. Spock?" said Sulu.
"Captain, I believe that Mr. Kirk will attempt mutiny before we are arrived at Earth. According to Starfleet regulation 23.2, this-"
"I don't understand what you're saying, Mr. Spock. Kirk is already captain of this ship."
Spock stared at the communicator with disbelief. Was he too late? Didn't Kirk give him a three-hour grace period? "How is that possible?" he asked.
Sulu made a confused sound. "I made him captain, Mr. Spock."
"Why?"
"Because he asked for it."
"And...you did not stop him?"
Sulu laughed. "Why would I? I didn't want to be captain, and Kirk was the one who made all the big contributions for this mission. Best let him handle the press. Why are you asking, Mr. Spock?"
"A few minutes prior, Mr. Kirk requested that I resume captaincy of this ship."
"Did he really? How generous of him," said Sulu in a humouring tone. "Is that all, Mr. Spock?"
"Yes. That is all." Spock ended the transmission to Pike's uproarious laughter.
X
There were many news vans surrounding the Academy entrance when Spock arrived. He bypassed them easily by taking the side entrance and ignored their hollers when they spotted him across the quad. He has only one reason for being here today: to resign his Starfleet commission.
He has thought it over carefully while rebuilding his emotional controls since his return to Earth two days ago. Much as he was curious of the new experiences being in Starfleet would give him, the needs of his species now outweighed his own selfish desires. However, it would be untruthful to say that that was the only reason he was resigning.
His older counterpart has already assured him upon their first meeting that he was enough to help relocate and repopulate their kind. Spock could, if he wished, stayed on with Starfleet with a clean conscience. But there was the fear that should he stay with Starfleet, with the Enterprise, with James Kirk whom his older counterpart guaranteed would serve together with him, Spock would have to face more of those buried emotions he detested. They were buried for a good reason; the same reason his emotional controls have again and again, in the past, been praised as unduly strict.
However, should anyone ask him, Spock would deny that Kirk has anything to do with his decision. It would not do for a Vulcan to be linked with Earth's current 'Most Eligible Bachelor'.
Upon entering the building, Spock was informed that his meeting with the Admiralty was pushed back an hour. Apparently, Admiral Komack's meeting with the newly-minted Admiral Pike has not yet ended. Spock conceded to wait and went to indulge in a little bit of nostalgia in one of the halls he used to teach.
He swiped his key card against the sensor pad, unlocking the automatic sliding door, and stopped in his tracks when he saw a fair-haired young man sleeping in one of the rows of seats. The man pillowed his head on crossed arms. His face was completely buried in the crook of his elbow.
Spock was perplexed. How did this young man get in? The lecture hall was locked when he entered.
The young man shifted in his sleep and Spock managed to see a little bit more of his face.
It was Kirk.
This was a - what's the word? - coincidence. That the object of his attention should be napping in the room he had, by chance, chosen to enter during his first visit to the Academy since the end of the mission. Spock craned his neck and frowned.
Kirk looked exhausted. This was not surprising.
While Spock had been relatively left alone, Kirk was hounded by the media like fresh meat thrown to carnivores. Every news telecast on every television station always has something new to reveal about James Kirk, son of the late George Kirk - yes, that George Kirk - and Earth's very own human saviour.
Spock did not regret leaving captainship of the Enterprise to Kirk. Kirk was the best spokesperson Starfleet could every ask for to handle the wrap-up of the Nero crisis. But no matter how many times Kirk deflected the oulandish praises to the talents and skills of the Enterprise crew and Pike's leadership, the media anchored on to him, determined to put him on the highest pedestal they could build.
Spock had watched the BBC interview on the small holoscreen he kept in his personal quarters. At the time, he thought that surely he wasn't the only one who noticed the grimace that followed every diplomatic smile Kirk gave the camera. But now that he's seen and heard the general tittering of adoration that followed Kirk's name, Spock supposed that Kirk was a better actor than he gave him credit for.
Before Spock could turn and leave Kirk to his much-deserved repose, the other man groaned and stirred. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms high above his head. He paused when he saw Spock. A slow smile spread across his face.
Spock swallowed. Till now, he has not fully appreciated how a smile could transform a person's face. He was sure he has not met a man so handsome as Kirk when he was smiling.
To his dismay, Spock felt a huge swell of emotion rise within him and brutally stamped down on it. Where was the shield he has so carefully constructed? Were his walls so weak that the mere sight of Kirk could crumble them? Spock made a mental note to increase his meditation time once his business was done here.
"Commander Spock, I've been looking for you." Kirk stood up, groaning a bit more as he did so, and descended from the elevated seats in long strides. "I need to talk to you. I wanted to find you earlier but the media - they're unbelievable. I put one foot outside these grounds and I'm a goner." He laughed. Spock vaguely remembered hearing that laugh before. In the Academy's medical department. Illogical, seeing as Kirk has no medical modules in his curriculum. "But anyways, here you are."
"Here I am," confirmed Spock, eyes never leaving Kirk as he stepped closer.
Kirk cocked his head to one side. "Do you realise that this is the first time we are actually speaking face-to-face? It's kinda funny since we've saved the world together and everything."
"I am aware."
Kirk smiled. "Why do I get the feeling that you already know everything that I want to tell you?"
"If you are referring to my counterpart who helped you escape from Delta Vega - then yes. I am already aware of him."
Kirk laughed. "Yeah. Meeting him was ... unusual."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone be so happy to see me before," said Kirk, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "He greeted me like an old friend, which I suppose he thought I was. And he saved me from this ugly creature like you wouldn't believe! It was large and red, and its mouth looked like a sphincter! Can you imagine that?"
Spock stiffened. Kirk's vibrancy was doing more damage to his emotional controls. It felt as if someone had taken a knife and made a large tear in his shield and Kirk was somehow trying to tunnel through that tear. It reminded Spock of that moment Kirk touched him on the Enterprise right after Spock lost his mother. Spock could recall the warm feeling that accompanied Kirk's words. It scared him how much he wanted it. Not even Nyota had been able to replicate it. It didn't make sense to him. So Spock grabbed the edges of the tear with his hands and pulled it shut.
Spock held up one hand. "Is there anything else you wish to convey to me?"
Kirk's shoulders drooped. "No. I guess I shouldn't be taking up your time. I just -" He stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Never mind." He gave Spock his diplomatic smile. "It's great to finally be able to talk to you, Commander Spock. Have a nice day." Kirk sidestepped him out of the lecture hall.
Spock closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Kirk's footsteps as they carried him further and further away, and as if by some supernatural force, he took the warmth in the air with him. Spock released his breath slowly, breathing out through his nose, and when he finally opened his eyes, there was no sign of Kirk having been in the hall. Spock turned around and closed the door, ignoring the stabs of want.
Spock has heard many rumours about this Cadet Kirk. Given the proper opportunity, he would really like to meet him.
Spock has seen this cadet file before. The photo included was a grainy, little thing, taken from an old instant photo booth. In it, Kirk was brooding; lips fixed in a smirk of disdain. Dried blood trailed under his nose. His face, while handsome, was twisted into an expression that screamed he has something to prove.
This photo of Kirk was three years old.
Since then, Kirk has become the most talked about person on campus.
He was the man with the famous father. He was also the genius who passed Professor Vassbinder's Temporal Mechanics class despite being absent half the time. If the rumours were to be believed, Kirk has slept with more than half of the student population, only three-quarters of which were female and a portion of it non-human species. Other popular stories included Kirk outdrinking a Klingon and fathering a child with a married woman.
Spock closed the file. It amazed Spock a little that although Kirk was undoubtedly a hard man to miss, he has yet to have a proper encounter with him. Kirk did not take any of his classes. Neither was he involved in any of the extra-curricular activities Spock supervised.
To be sure, Spock must have crossed paths with Kirk before. Starfleet Academy's campus grounds were not so large that two individuals could completely miss one another for three years.
But Spock has not looked this cadet in the face before. He has not stood before James Kirk and held a proper conversation. Not to Spock's memory anyway. And his memory was eidetic.
In spite of this, Spock has amassed a lot of information regarding Kirk thanks to his students' idle chatter. He now possessed the information that Kirk has a delectable backside, a charming personality, a flirtatious personality, an arrogant personality, a blatant disregard for personal safety, a stepfather, a Starfleet mother, a criminal record, a friend called MCoy and an aptitude for every subject except Interspecies Protocol (which Spock taught) because he found it 'ridiculous'.
Spock refrained from showing signs of weariness when he heard another cadet offer another factoid about Kirk in the middle of class. He looked at her - Cadet Michaels. "If Cadet Kirk has made any significant progress in relation to interspecies ethics, by all means, you may speak of him in the class. In the meantime, please refrain from offering frivolous information, cadet."
The cadet nearly burst into tears.
Strangely enough, this incident only served to increase Kirk's notoriety. Spock's reprimand of the female cadet started wild rumours that Spock himself has unpleasant relations with Kirk. These stories ranged from Spock banning the mention of Kirk's name in his class to Spock being upset due to a messy breakup after a torrid love affair with Kirk, whose lovemaking skills were, by now, legendary.
(Spock became mildly curious about how rumours developed because of this.)
It was intriguing how one individual consumed the attention of so many. Spock wondered if Kirk knew of this phenomenon himself.
Nyota Uhura, the brightest student in Spock's advanced phonology class, assured him that yes Kirk was aware, and when Spock expressed concern that he had helped, however accidentally, slander Kirk's good name, Uhura smiled and said that Kirk has no more good name to speak of and that don't worry, Kirk was a 'dick' anyhow.
Spock was so confused by the colloquialism that the next few times someone brought up Kirk's name, he envisioned a human penis.
X
In spite of himself, Spock was looking forward to the next Kobayashi Maru testing. His interest with the Kobayashi Maru had begun and ended with the programming. He has not sat in on any of the actual testing because he knew all the Command track cadets, who have to take the test at least once as part of a course requirement, would fail.
And they have. Spectacularly. Less than half returned for a second attempt at what has been known as the 'impossible test'. James Kirk was the first to apply for a third.
This was in itself a curious event. That it was Kirk perpetrating it made it even more interesting. It made Kirk an even more curious individual to his eyes.
Spock already has a very good grasp on Kirk the concept. He would very much like his chance to experience Kirk the human. Watching him sit the Kobayashi Maru would be an excellent opportunity to do so. He would be able to see how to famous indomitable Kirk-ian will dealt with a no-win scenario, now that the test has already defeated him twice.
As it were, Spock would never get to see Kirk sit for the test.
A day before it was slotted to take place, Starfleet received a distress call from Vulcan. Something about a 'lightning storm' in space.
X
The USS Enterprise was the largest ship Spock has ever seen of its kind. At 2500 feet long and 625 feet high, it drew stares of awe even from those who were assigned elsewhere. Even in stationary setting, the Enterprise's Bussard collectors emitted a dull blue glow, as if hinting at the power and potential resting underneath its smooth, sloping exterior.
Spock could understand why Nyota petitioned to serve on this ship.
Aside from the fact that it was officially the newest and flashiest Federation flagship, of course.
Inside the Enterprise however, there was chaos. Greenhorn cadets shoved into their new assignments were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, looking dreadfully lost. Being the first of its kind, the Enterprise's floor plans and room allocations were slightly different from other existing ships and Spock could tell this was confusing a great deal of them.
Not having the patience to deal with this sort of madness today, Spock sidestepped the panicked cadets into the turbolift. Before the doors closed, however, Spock saw a fair-haired young man climb onto an elevated fixture and called loudly for order. He quickly assumed a role of that not unlike a traffic policeman.
"Orwell, Kasinski, Lee; the three of you are in engineering, aren't you? That's Deck 6. The turbolift is at the end to your left. Water, you're under Dr. Puri. Sickbay is on Deck 6. Bones, take her with you. Watanabe, D'hor - auxiliary machinery's on Deck 9. Jeffery, stop gawking and get your ass to the transporter room!"
Spock lifted an eyebrow at the unusual spectacle but thought nothing more of it as he arrived on the bridge. He nodded stiffly at every greeting directed his way, went to stand at his station, and waited for the captain to make his appearance.
Minutes passed and still there was no sign of Captain Pike approaching the bridge. His absence became more and more pronounced as, one by one, the other starships warped away from the station, sprinting into war, and all the Enterprise could do was wait.
Spock invariably found the officers on the bridge turning to him for orders. Spock was a bit unnerved himself. Captain Pike was not the type of person to be late for anything. Spock considered opening a channel to Starfleet to enquire about their missing captain when the turbolift doors suddenly opened and Christopher Pike stormed in.
No one dared to ask about his tardiness because of the storm that was raging on his face. At Pike's heels was Uhura, who gave Spock a quick, worried glance as Pike sank heavily into his chair. He snapped his fingers at the navigator.
"Russian whiz kid, your name? Cherpov? Chenkov?"
The young boy jumped in his seat. "Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andrevich, sir," he squeaked.
"Ensign, have you performed the ship-wide mission broadcast?"
Chekov faltered even more under Pike's hard glare, obviously wondering what he had done wrong in the few seconds since Pike arrived. "No, sir. I was vaiting for-"
"Good. I want you to issue it right now based on the information I'm about to give you," said Pike. Chekov sat up straighter in attention. "The distress call from Vulcan isn't due to unnatural seismic activity as we have been led to believe. It's caused by an attack by a rogue Romulan ship."
Spock stood up in surprise. "Captain?"
"Try to pass this information to the other ships as well." When he was met with shocked silence, Pike frowned. "Are you waiting for an invitation? I know the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance but right now, we can afford neither cheer nor time. Helmsman McKenna-"
"-has lungworm, sir," said the Japanese man in the pilot seat. "I am Hikaru Sulu."
"Fine, Mr. Sulu, thrusters on full. Maximum warp. Let's hope we can make it in time."
"Captain, I do not understand. What has prompted your decision in changing the premises of this mission?" said Spock.
"An inference has been brought to my attention. That strange seismic activity - that 'lightning storm' in space - has happened before 25 years ago right before the USS Kelvin was destroyed by a Romulan ship with advanced weapon. That ship was never seen or heard from again. Until the Klingon transmission yesterday."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "What Klingon transmission?"
"The one I intercepted, sir," said Uhura, speaking for the first time at Pike's side. "The transmission was sent from a warbird that was destroyed by an unidentified Romulan ship on the edge of Vulcan space."
Spock froze. "Captain."
Pike nodded. "Yes. Kirk's probably right. We're flying right into a trap."
"Unable to pass along the new information, sir," said the communications officer. "The other ships are not responding."
The feeling of dread which had settled low in Spock's stomach upon the current revelation now climbed up to his throat. The calm, quiet voice in his head was beginning to sound like a roar in his ears.
Chekov turned in his seat. "Ten seconds to Vulcan."
X
The bridge went silent after Nero ended his transmission. When Pike stood from his seat, Spock immediately stepped up to block his path. "Sir, if you comply with his wishes, it is unlikely that you will return."
"Noted," said Pike before addressing the bridge. "Who here has combat training."
Sulu raised his hand. "I have training, sir."
"Kirk too," said Uhura, who has taken the place of communications officer on the bridge. After hearing her complain about Kirk's faults only days ago in, Spock didn't expect her to champion him now. She shrugged and reasoned, "He spent three years picking bar fights. He must know how to defend himself."
Spock frowned. This was something he hasn't heard about Kirk before. He realised that people talked plenty about Kirk's present achievements, but hardly mentioned anything of his past. It was intriguing.
"Okay. Sulu, Olson, walk with me. Lieutenant Uhura, summon Kirk to the hangar. Spock, you come with me too."
Spock pushed his apprehension to the back of his mind and followed Pike off the bridge. Pike walked at such a brisk pace that Sulu and Olson struggled to keep up. He came to an abrupt stop in front of the service turbolift connecting the deck to the shuttlecraft hangar. Punching in a code to open a channel, Pike said, "Kirk, you there?"
"Yes, sir," said Kirk through the intercom. He sounded bewildered and a little out of breath, as if he'd sprinted from wherever he was posted to the hangar as fast as he could. "Where are you, sir?"
Spock recognised that voice. Was that not the cadet who stopped to direct his fellow officers to their stations earlier? Spock frowned. That had been Kirk?
"Deck 3. But stay where you are, son. I'll brief you gentlemen on what is going to happen here on out. If we don't destroy the Romulan drill, we can't beam down to Vulcan, and we can't do our job. Kirk, Sulu, Olson - you three are to space jump from a shuttle down to the drill and disable it. I'll be piloting the shuttle. After you jump, I will meet Nero to negotiate terms for a ceasefire."
"With all due respect, sir, that is a stupid plan," said Kirk.
"I agree, captain," said Spock, jumping at an opportunity to debate the wisdom of Pike's decision again.
"Who's that?" asked Kirk.
"This is Commander Spock," said Spock.
"Not anymore," said Pike. "You're captain now, Spock. I'm leaving this ship in your care. Sulu, I'm promoting you to First Officer." Sulu did a little surprised jerk with his head and attempted a smile. The outcome was a pained grimace. He stepped into the turbolift after PIke and Olson, looking more nervous about his new position than the dangerous task he was about to perform.
"Be careful with her, Spock. She's brand new," jested Pike. The doors closed before Spock could object to Pike's orders. Spock refrained from sighing.
There was a crackle over the speakers as Kirk himself sighed openly. "Hey, at least we tried, Comman - er - Captain Spock. Kirk out." The connection cut off.
Spock turned and retreated to the bridge.
X
The next time Spock encountered Kirk, his world was crumbling around his ears. He barely registered the Russian ensign, who should have been on the bridge, staring at him in dumb surprise from behind the transporter console as he stepped onto the pad just as Kirk and Sulu stumbled off it.
"Beam me down at once," said Spock.
"Commander Spock, you can't beam down there! The landscape is already collapsing," said Sulu.
Spock ignored him and crouched down to the proper beaming position. "Energise!"
"He's what?" said Kirk loudly. "Spock!" He turned.
Spock caught a shock of blue eyes before his particles were disassembled.
The katric ark was already breaking under the strong gravitational pull of the black hole by the time Spock found his parents. He first heard his mother gasp his name, eyes wide and round with surprise. This reaction was understandable, considering his manner of departure from Vulcan to join Starfleet three years ago.
In those years, Spock has not once returned to his home planet. It was cruel now that he has finally returned, Vulcan was about to be no more.
He held his hand out for his mother to grasp. Upon the moment of contact, Spock felt all of her joy at seeing him. Even as panic edged every thought and movement as they thwarted death again and again by dodging the falling debris of Vulcan's history, Spock could feel his mother mentally beaming at him. My darling boy, how you've grown!
Spock tightened his hand around hers as he flipped open his communicator. "This is Acting Captain Spock. Five to beam up."
He heard the Russian ensign reply, "I haf lock on your positions. Don't move!"
The lights of the transporter beam began to swirl around them. Spock allowed a sliver of relief to seep through. He squeezed his mother's hand and released her. Amanda looked away from him to the collapsing landscape of Vulcan with heartbreak in her eyes. The ground shook beneath their feet and Amanda teetered a little.
Spock reached out a hand to steady her but before he could, the ground shook again and the world fell quickly beneath Amanda's feet. She screamed.
Spock could hear blood in his ears. Was that him screaming? Was it him the Vulcan elders were looking at with fear in their eyes? Spock blinked and when he opened his eyes again, he was staring at the interior of the transporter pad.
His hand stretched out to empty space where his mother should be. In his head, he felt her presence wrench away from him. From the corner of his eye, Spock saw his father take a small shuddering breath. It was the most emotion he has seen on Sarek's face and with gut-clenching despair, he realised that his mother was truly no more.
Why did he let go of her hand?
The thought alone filled him with such grief it wracked the entire landscape of his being. His inner voice, always calm, now howled like a wounded beast. Mental hands scrabbled fruitlessly to find the psionic bond he's had with his mother all his life. It felt like he'd been robbed of a limb.
Spock wondered what he must look like now. Was his misery written clear across his face? Could Ensign Chekov take one look at him and know right away how much he suffered?
A hand touched his arm.
Spock shuddered. His shields were all but gone. Every thought and emotion from this person flowed into his head as smoothly as water filling up a river. Are you okay? Look horrible. Sorry. So sorry. Pull yourself together. You will get through this. You are captain. Spock. Is there anyone out there? Need help? Spock? Don't be like this right now. Get a hold of yourself! And then it was gone. The hand and the soothing presence in his head.
Spock blinked. Who was that?
Spock stepped off the transporter pad, still unpleasantly dazed.
He saw Sulu and Kirk walking out of the transporter room to give the Vulcans some privacy. Spock moved to follow them. There was no time for grief right now. He has a ship to captain.
X
After the Enterprise successfully maneuvered away from the black hole, Spock made his first log as acting captain. It was hard not to just break into sobs. His psionic control was in tatters. So many bonds were forcefully cut from his today. He felt like a leaf cut loose and left to buffet helplessly amidst the wind.
His father and the elders, who have knows these bonds longer and more intimately, no doubt felt the grief more keenly. But Spock was young and the wild thing in the back of his head was getting closer to swallowing him whole.
Spock stood up and strode towards the turbolift with the intention to seek some privacy and find, with luck, a peace of mind. Unfortunately, Uhura squeezed into the lift before it departed from the bridge and pressed the button to halt the descent of the mechanism.
Spock could feel himself vibrating as Uhura stepped closer. In the past, he has looked forward to her company. She was one of the few individuals who were not overtly intimidated by his Vulcan differences and her own bright mind delighted Spock. But now, he wanted to brush her away. He did not think he could deal with human pleasantries at the moment.
He opened his mouth to say so. But then, she curled a hand around the back of his neck and pressed a warm kiss to his lips. Her touch sent a surge of reassuring thoughts and emotions through him. They felt so warm in his head. The new emptiness rejoiced at the presence of another. Spock couldn't help himself. He clung on greedily.
"What do you need?" she whispered against his skin.
Spock's skin tingled where her lips touched him. She kissed again and again. It was intoxicating. Spock wanted more. He nervously returned one kiss, revelling in Uhura's emotions, before pulling away and making the turbolift move again. There would be another time for this.
"I need everyone to continue perfoming admirably." Including myself, he didn't say.
She acquiesed and gave him one final, sweet kiss.
X
Spock's departure from the bridge was a short one. Ten point two minutes to be exact. However, by the time he returned, a new development has taken place.
"Kirk is gone, captain," said Sulu.
Spock frowned. Not two hours he has taken command of this ship and already one of his crew has committed insubordination. "Where, dare I ask?" he asked in the soft voice most of his students have come to fear.
"Delta Wega, Keptin. He sed he received as S.O.S. signal from ze planet and took one of ze shuttles," said Chekov.
"Why did he not report this and wait for my orders?"
"He said you were not in the right emotional state to issue orders at the moment," said Sulu rather timidly, which was understandable given the way Spock was glaring at him.
Spock seethed. Who was this human to decided whether ot not he was in a fit emotional state? Brilliant as Kirk might be, he was still a cadet! A greenhorn, at that. Fuming, Spock said, "We will proceed without Mr. Kirk. By failing to obtain my permission, Mr. Kirk has committed mutiny."
The rest of the bridge stared openly at him.
"He did ask for my permission, captain," said Sulu.
"I am the acting captain of this vessel. It is my permission he required to commandeer that shuttle. Pray tell, what persuaded you to allow Mr. Kirk the use of one of our shuttles when we are on the brink of war with the Romulans, Mr. Sulu?" said Spock.
"The emergency transmission, sir," said Uhura. "It was in Vulcan."
Spock reeled from the revelation. A Vulcan on Delta Vega? How was that possible? "How did Kirk manage to receive this transmission when his place is on the Engineering Deck?"
Uhura's eyes softened. "He was picking up signals with me, captain. He wanted to search for surviving Vulcans who would have required our assistance."
Is there anyone out there? Need help?
Spock fisted his hand. He should turn back. The shuttle that took Kirk to Delta Vega has no warp capabilities. Even if he found the mystery Vulcan, Kirk would have no way of returning to the Enterprise.
"Keptin?"
Spock shoved those thoughts away. There were more important things at stake right now. "Head for the Laurentian system. We will join up with the rest of the fleet to plan a counterattack."
"Yes, sir."
The bridge crew turned back to their stations, enveloped by a stony silence.
X
Spock raised his head in surprise when he heard the intercom channel open in the science lab. His surprise grew into disbelief when he heard the same voice he has thus far connected to a grainy instant booth photo (and sometimes, during lapses of concentration, a human penis) because Kirk was supposed to be on Delta Vega.
"Captain," said Kirk, "it's against regulations to lock the ion study lab when there is no ongoing experiment warranting a closed door."
Spock was torn between opening the door to demand how Kirk managed to return to the Enterprise when it was traveling at warp speed, and staying where he was because he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He chose the latter.
"I have relinquished captaincy to Mr. Sulu, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised by the mission."
"Yeah, I heard from Bones."
Spock remembered all 164 names serving aboard the Enterprise; about a quarter of whom have already died due to Nero's attacks. None of them has the name 'Bones'.
"How did you get back on this ship, Mr. Kirk?"
"Why have you locked the door, Mr. Spock?"
Spock didn't answer because from Kirk's inflection, he gathered that Kirk already understood why. Spock wondered how Kirk had known he was here. He's denied the computer mainframe access to his location and had chosen to rest here for the express reason of not being found. Yet, Kirk still managed to locate him. What an infuriating individual.
"It's a pretty cool things you did, by the way: giving up the captain's seat like that. Not everyone would have been able to do that," said Kirk.
"It was the logical decision to make. I lost my neutrality regarding this mission-"
"How could you not? You lost your mother, your friends, your entire planet-"
"Vulcans do not have friends."
"Liar."
"I beg your pardon?" said Spock in surprise.
Kirk cleared his throat. "I mean, wanna make one?" He then fell silent, presumably to let Spock answer. But Spock didn't know what to say. "You know, I lost a father to Nero. I'm not trying to compare our situations or anything but I just thought you should know. When Nero attacked the Kelvin, he changed my life before I even knew it. That's 24 years, and counting, striving to live up to the memory of a dead person and trying not to be the little fuck-up everyone thinks I am. So - there's that. If that - if that makes you feel better at all. Because misery loves company and all..."
Spock heard Kirk derail into soft swears. Shit, I'm so bad at this.
Perhaps this was why Spock hasn't heard much about Kirk's past. Because like Spock's, it wasn't one to be shared lightly.
This was not what Spock expected from Kirk at all. Confident, arrogant James Kirk with his off-the-chart scores and practically the entire student body in awe of him. The same Kirk was now attempting to make Spock feel better and Spock was a little surprised to discover that he was heartened by the attempt.
"Your assumptions are superfluous, Mr. Kirk," said Spock. He heard Kirk stir a little, as if he had not been expecting a response. "Not everyone thinks that you are - as you put it - a 'little fuck-up'."
There was silence on the other side.
"...Thanks."
Spock could almost hear the sincere smile in Kirk's voice, which was ridiculous. One could not hear smiles. But whatever warm emotion he felt for Kirk was quickly stamped down when the man followed his thanks with, "By the way, we're changing course to chase the Narada instead. Kirk out."
He was gone before Spock could even voice a noise of protest.
X
Spock was very angry with Acting Captain Sulu. The Japanese man was a top-notch pilot and an excellent officer. As a captain, however, he lacked the necessary backbone this particular mission required.
"Not only did you make the unwise decision of chasing the Narada but you allowed Mr. Kirk to beam aboard the enemy ship alone?" fumed Spock. "Why have you been taking orders from a cadet, Captain Sulu?"
"Because he's right! We have to stop Nero before he does to Earth what he did to Vulcan."
"By thinking so, you have risked the lives of everyone on this ship. Joining up with the primary fleet is the logical choice of action to increase our chances of subjugating the Romulans."
"I'm not letting Earth get destroyed," said Sulu.
"By sacrificing Mr. Kirk's life?" At any other point in time, Spock would have been affronted at his own emotional outburst. Even Uhura looked worried.
"This is a stealth operation, Mr. Spock. Would you prefer I send the entire security team to expose Kirk's presence on the Narada?"
"Send me."
The bridge fell silent in shock. Sulu goggled at him. "Excuse me?"
"Vulcans and Romulans share a common ancestry. I will be able to decipher their ship's computer system and aid Kirk in his endeavour." Spock punctuated his suggestion with a hard glare. He found that humans tended to falter in their resolve whenever he did this.
Sulu frowned. "Are you sure?"
"I too do not wish for Earth to suffer the same fate as Vulcan. My mother was human, which makes Earth the only home I have left."
Sulu relented with a sigh. "Report to the transporter room. I'll tell Engineer Scott to expect you."
Spock raised an eyebrow. There was no Engineer Scott on the Enterprise. The man slotted to replace Engineer Olson should anything befall him (which it did) was called Langley. Spock chose not to correct Sulu.
"Captain Sulu, if I may venture a question," he said.
"What is it?"
"You have known Kirk for less than six point nine hours, and in that period, could not have spent much time building a rapport with him. Why do you so readily trust his judgement?"
Sulu stiffened in his seat. He didn't look comfortable in the captain's chair. In fact, it appeared too large for him in some inexplicable way. Illogical, considering Sulu shared the same build as Captain Pike, but there it was.
"Well, for one, the man definitely knows what he's doing. Those top marks weren't just for show. And, he saved my life."
Spock pursed his lips. "Illogical."
He saw Sulu scowl and was most likely preparing for a caustic comeback when Spock turned on his heels and left the bridge.
X
The man sitting behind the control panels in the transporter room looked very surprised when Spock came striding in and stepped onto the platform. "Ye look somewhat familiar. Haf we met somewhere before?" the man asked in a thick Scottish accent.
Spock stared at the unfamiliar man. "Engineer Scott, I presume. I am going after Mr. Kirk. Beam me onto the Narada."
"Yea, the captain told me." Engineer Scott snapped his fingers just as the doors of the turbolift slid open, revealing Uhura who looked rather displeased. No doubt she was upset by his decision to board the Narada, but the look in her dark eyes was not one of distress. It was resignation. However, Spock was distracted from Uhura's emotional status by Engineer Scott's next words. "I know who ye remind me off! Tha' Vulcan on Delta Vega!"
"You were on Delta Vega?" said Spock with disbelief.
The redshirt engineer nodded. "Kirk saved me from tha' ice planet. Dunno why tha' Vulcan chose ta stay, tho'."
So there was a Vulcan on Delta Vega. How curious.
Uhura stepped up onto the platform. She looked like she wanted to hug him or kiss him, or something. Spock would've allowed it. He felt affection for Uhura, who in all her beauty, elegance, and logic, would've made quite the Vulcan. Instead, she touched his cheek affectionately.
"Be careful, Spock," she said and moved away. "I'll be monitoring your frequency."
"Thank you."
"Alrigh', got the coordinates punched in. Energising," said Engineer Scott. As the light of the transporter swirled around him, Spock saw the engineer turn to Uhura with high eyebrows and ask, "Didja just call him Spock?"
Spock materialised in what appeared to be the engineering deck of the Narada. There were unconscious Romulans scattered across the black floor. Kirk's doing, Spock assumed. He unholstered his phaser and flipped open his communicator. "Kirk, report your status and location."
He heard Kirk's communicator bleat to life with so much feedback Spock had to strain his ears to hear Kirk above the crackling. "Spock, is that you?" There were sounds of phaser fire. "I'm in the process of retrieving Captain Pike."
"And the black hole device?"
"I'm hoping Pike will be able to tell me how to find and destroy it. The two of us are due to beam back onboard the Enterprise in 30 minutes whether or not I succeed."
"30 minutes in insufficient for you to accomplish the aforementioned tasks. I will find the black hole device. You will focus on finding Captain Pike and aiding in his escape."
Kirk made a funny noise that sounded suspiciously like a shriek. "Spock, are you on the Narada?!"
"Affirmative."
"Are you crazy? It's not safe for you here! In case you haven't noticed, there's a mad Romulan who wants you dead!"
"Kirk, the chances of stopping Nero are better if I assist you here. As it is you are in a similarly dangerous position of getting killed." As if to assert his point, he was interrupted by another exchange of phaser fire on Kirk's end. When the scurry ended, Spock continued. "But should my life be terminated prematurely here, could you tell Lieutenant Uhura-"
"Oh no, we are not playing this game. I hate this game. You are coming back with me, Spock," said Spock.
"Kirk, I do not-"
"Jim. My name is Jim. Now that we're officially in a life-or-death situation together, you might as well know my name."
I already know your name, Spock refrained from saying. And up till four point two hours ago, I thought I knew the person you were. "My name is Schn T'gai Spock."
"I have no idea what you just said. I'll see you back on the ship. Kirk out." Once again, Kirk was gone before Spock could squeeze in a word edgewise. This was starting to get on his nerves.
X
Spock felt something akin to trepidation when he saw the ship that housed the black hole device, or as the Romulans called it, 'red matter'. The ship's controls were unexpectedly advanced and Spock questioned his own ability to man it successfully. More alarmingly, the ship's computer knew him "Voice and facial recognition complete. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock."
Welcome back. What odd words.
And then there was that title. Spock has, at no point in time, been an ambassador. Spock couldn't help but wonder if a certain mystery Vulcan on Delta Vega has something to do with this.
Spock flipped open his communicator. "Kirk, there has been some complication -"
He paused when he heard his own voice being parroted back at him from outside the ship. Cautiously, Spock stepped down from the shuttle and saw Kirk's communicator lying in two pieces on the floor right next to an unconscious Romulan.
Dread was mixed in with the suspicion that crept up the back of his mind as he tried to process what had probably happened. Kirk was captured. Kirk had most likely lost in a physical battle with the Romulans. It was possible that he was, by now, dead.
Spock blinked. He needed to focus on the mission. With Kirk gone, he was responsible for rescuing Captain Pike as well. But the lump in his throat refused to dislodge. No, his mind screamed. He was jumping to conclusions. Kirk could not be dead. Kirk, who was one of the best fighters in his year, could not have gone down so easily. Kirk must be alive. He must be. Spock didn't know what to do if he wasn't.
Why do you care?
"Spock, are you there?"
Spock jumped when he heard Kirk's voice come through his communicator. He nearly dropped the device in his haste to retrieve it from his side. "Kirk?"
"I've located Captain Pike!" said Kirk triumphantly.
"I've located your communicator," said Spock slowly. "It's in two."
"Oh that. The transmitter got banged up during the fight so I left it. But I've rewired one of the Romulan communicators so it's all good."
"You reprogrammed a communicator that was written in Romulan?"
"Jimmy here is a genius. Didn't you know that, Spock?" said Captain Pike, who sounded worse for wear but very much alive, and that was what's important right now.
"It is good to hear from you, Captain. However, there are complications with the black hole device.The ship that houses it has controls far more advanced than -"
"You can do it," said Kirk.
"Kirk?" said Pike.
"That ship is yours, isn't it?"
Spock swallowed. "How do you know this?"
"I met you."
Spock reeled from the implications of Kirk's words. There were so many questions he wanted to ask Kirk. About the ship. About the Vulcan on Delta Vega. But all he managed to say was, "I see."
"Listen, I have a plan."
Spock heard Pike groan.
"What? It's a good one, I swear," said Kirk defensively. "Here is what we do."
X
By the end of the mission, the chain of command in the Enterprise was in shambles. Captain Pile was in Sickbay, as was Spock, who managed to slice open his side while crashing the ambassador's ship into the Narada. Sulu was the acting captain, but for some reason it was Kirk in the captain's chair, ordering Engineer Scott to eject the dilithium cores in a last, desperate attempt to escape the black hole.
No one knew who was in charge.
To avoid more confusion, Sulu appointed Kirk as his First Officer. If one were to follow the general order, Sulu should have appointed the chief engineer as his second-in-command instead. However, considering the fact that Engineer Scott was not supposed to be on the Enterprise in the first place, perhaps Sulu's decision was not so strange.
Pike laughed when Spock voiced his concerns regarding the matter. "Nothing in this mission is as it should be."
"You are correct, sir."
Sarek visited Spock in Sickbay once to ascertain his health. Nyota came to see him every day and thought it cold of Sarek to not see his son more often now that most of his relations were gone. Spock admonished her kindly. "It is because most of his bonds are now gone that he has to heal his mind. As do I. As I will, once I recover my strength."
The cut in his side was not very serious. But Spock wanted a little more time to mourn; to feel the depth of the wound caused by his mother's death before he attempted to cauterise it. It was an illogical decision. It was very human of him.
Ten hours before the Enterprise was slotted to arrive at Earth, Spock received a private transmission from Kirk. PIke was asleep in the next biobed so Spock turned down the volume and opened the call.
"How are you feeling?" Kirk's voice filtered through the speakers.
"I am well, Mr. Kirk," said Spock.
"Sorry about the audio call, by the way. I've just been working overtime on reports and I kinda look like hell right now. I'd go down to Sickbay and visit you personally but Sulu threatened to flambe my ass if I don't get these done before we arrive on Earth."
Actually Spock was rather grateful for the audio call. He did not want Kirk to see him in such a weak and sorry state either. "I am certain that Captain Sulu will do no such thing." Kirk snorted. Spock chose to ignore it. "Why have you called me?"
"Right. I didn't mean to ramble. It's just ... when we arrive on Earth, all hell is going to break loose."
Spock blinked. "I don't understand."
"The media. They're going to want to know everything. And Bones says that you should have been out of Sickbay along time ago. So what are you still doing there?"
"I wish to mourn."
"Okay, I get that. But - I'm not sure if you know this but Sulu isn't really fit to be captain. Not right now, anyway," said Kirk. Spock raised an eyebrow. So Kirk has noticed this too. "He's a great guy and all but he sucks at giving orders and motivating the crew. When we get back, the media are going to be targeting whoever is the captain and Sulu isn't well-equipped to handle that kind of pressure. The Enterprise needs a strong leader right now, and seeing as Pike is out of commission for a few months, it has to be you."
"I have just lost my home. What makes you think I am suited for this at this moment?"
"Because you're Spock. You can do anything," said Kirk. It was a childish boost of confidence. It should not have been able to lift Spock's spirits. "Besides, I'm not asking you to lead us into battle or anything. Just help us withstand the media onslaught. Plus, you're Vulcan and all, so you can bully them into being nice to you."
When Spock gave no immediate response, Kirk sighed. "Give me a break here. I'm not used to persuading someone else to take the limelight. I'm usually the one hogging it."
"I am aware."
"You've heard the rumours."
"They are hard to avoid."
Kirk made a noncommittal sound. "Whatever. You've got three hours to decide whether or not to take captaincy. If you don't, then I will."
The transmission was abruptly cut off.
Spock stared at the communication device, speechless. He then turned and saw that Pike was awake. "Captain Pike," said Spock, "did Mr. Kirk just threaten mutiny?"
To his surprise, Pike laughed. "Yes, I suppose he did."
Spock quickly opened a call to Sulu. If he warned him now, perhaps Sulu could demote Kirk and -
"Yes, Mr. Spock?" said Sulu.
"Captain, I believe that Mr. Kirk will attempt mutiny before we are arrived at Earth. According to Starfleet regulation 23.2, this-"
"I don't understand what you're saying, Mr. Spock. Kirk is already captain of this ship."
Spock stared at the communicator with disbelief. Was he too late? Didn't Kirk give him a three-hour grace period? "How is that possible?" he asked.
Sulu made a confused sound. "I made him captain, Mr. Spock."
"Why?"
"Because he asked for it."
"And...you did not stop him?"
Sulu laughed. "Why would I? I didn't want to be captain, and Kirk was the one who made all the big contributions for this mission. Best let him handle the press. Why are you asking, Mr. Spock?"
"A few minutes prior, Mr. Kirk requested that I resume captaincy of this ship."
"Did he really? How generous of him," said Sulu in a humouring tone. "Is that all, Mr. Spock?"
"Yes. That is all." Spock ended the transmission to Pike's uproarious laughter.
X
There were many news vans surrounding the Academy entrance when Spock arrived. He bypassed them easily by taking the side entrance and ignored their hollers when they spotted him across the quad. He has only one reason for being here today: to resign his Starfleet commission.
He has thought it over carefully while rebuilding his emotional controls since his return to Earth two days ago. Much as he was curious of the new experiences being in Starfleet would give him, the needs of his species now outweighed his own selfish desires. However, it would be untruthful to say that that was the only reason he was resigning.
His older counterpart has already assured him upon their first meeting that he was enough to help relocate and repopulate their kind. Spock could, if he wished, stayed on with Starfleet with a clean conscience. But there was the fear that should he stay with Starfleet, with the Enterprise, with James Kirk whom his older counterpart guaranteed would serve together with him, Spock would have to face more of those buried emotions he detested. They were buried for a good reason; the same reason his emotional controls have again and again, in the past, been praised as unduly strict.
However, should anyone ask him, Spock would deny that Kirk has anything to do with his decision. It would not do for a Vulcan to be linked with Earth's current 'Most Eligible Bachelor'.
Upon entering the building, Spock was informed that his meeting with the Admiralty was pushed back an hour. Apparently, Admiral Komack's meeting with the newly-minted Admiral Pike has not yet ended. Spock conceded to wait and went to indulge in a little bit of nostalgia in one of the halls he used to teach.
He swiped his key card against the sensor pad, unlocking the automatic sliding door, and stopped in his tracks when he saw a fair-haired young man sleeping in one of the rows of seats. The man pillowed his head on crossed arms. His face was completely buried in the crook of his elbow.
Spock was perplexed. How did this young man get in? The lecture hall was locked when he entered.
The young man shifted in his sleep and Spock managed to see a little bit more of his face.
It was Kirk.
This was a - what's the word? - coincidence. That the object of his attention should be napping in the room he had, by chance, chosen to enter during his first visit to the Academy since the end of the mission. Spock craned his neck and frowned.
Kirk looked exhausted. This was not surprising.
While Spock had been relatively left alone, Kirk was hounded by the media like fresh meat thrown to carnivores. Every news telecast on every television station always has something new to reveal about James Kirk, son of the late George Kirk - yes, that George Kirk - and Earth's very own human saviour.
Spock did not regret leaving captainship of the Enterprise to Kirk. Kirk was the best spokesperson Starfleet could every ask for to handle the wrap-up of the Nero crisis. But no matter how many times Kirk deflected the oulandish praises to the talents and skills of the Enterprise crew and Pike's leadership, the media anchored on to him, determined to put him on the highest pedestal they could build.
Spock had watched the BBC interview on the small holoscreen he kept in his personal quarters. At the time, he thought that surely he wasn't the only one who noticed the grimace that followed every diplomatic smile Kirk gave the camera. But now that he's seen and heard the general tittering of adoration that followed Kirk's name, Spock supposed that Kirk was a better actor than he gave him credit for.
Before Spock could turn and leave Kirk to his much-deserved repose, the other man groaned and stirred. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms high above his head. He paused when he saw Spock. A slow smile spread across his face.
Spock swallowed. Till now, he has not fully appreciated how a smile could transform a person's face. He was sure he has not met a man so handsome as Kirk when he was smiling.
To his dismay, Spock felt a huge swell of emotion rise within him and brutally stamped down on it. Where was the shield he has so carefully constructed? Were his walls so weak that the mere sight of Kirk could crumble them? Spock made a mental note to increase his meditation time once his business was done here.
"Commander Spock, I've been looking for you." Kirk stood up, groaning a bit more as he did so, and descended from the elevated seats in long strides. "I need to talk to you. I wanted to find you earlier but the media - they're unbelievable. I put one foot outside these grounds and I'm a goner." He laughed. Spock vaguely remembered hearing that laugh before. In the Academy's medical department. Illogical, seeing as Kirk has no medical modules in his curriculum. "But anyways, here you are."
"Here I am," confirmed Spock, eyes never leaving Kirk as he stepped closer.
Kirk cocked his head to one side. "Do you realise that this is the first time we are actually speaking face-to-face? It's kinda funny since we've saved the world together and everything."
"I am aware."
Kirk smiled. "Why do I get the feeling that you already know everything that I want to tell you?"
"If you are referring to my counterpart who helped you escape from Delta Vega - then yes. I am already aware of him."
Kirk laughed. "Yeah. Meeting him was ... unusual."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone be so happy to see me before," said Kirk, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "He greeted me like an old friend, which I suppose he thought I was. And he saved me from this ugly creature like you wouldn't believe! It was large and red, and its mouth looked like a sphincter! Can you imagine that?"
Spock stiffened. Kirk's vibrancy was doing more damage to his emotional controls. It felt as if someone had taken a knife and made a large tear in his shield and Kirk was somehow trying to tunnel through that tear. It reminded Spock of that moment Kirk touched him on the Enterprise right after Spock lost his mother. Spock could recall the warm feeling that accompanied Kirk's words. It scared him how much he wanted it. Not even Nyota had been able to replicate it. It didn't make sense to him. So Spock grabbed the edges of the tear with his hands and pulled it shut.
Spock held up one hand. "Is there anything else you wish to convey to me?"
Kirk's shoulders drooped. "No. I guess I shouldn't be taking up your time. I just -" He stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Never mind." He gave Spock his diplomatic smile. "It's great to finally be able to talk to you, Commander Spock. Have a nice day." Kirk sidestepped him out of the lecture hall.
Spock closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Kirk's footsteps as they carried him further and further away, and as if by some supernatural force, he took the warmth in the air with him. Spock released his breath slowly, breathing out through his nose, and when he finally opened his eyes, there was no sign of Kirk having been in the hall. Spock turned around and closed the door, ignoring the stabs of want.