It's four am. And I can't sleep. Again. Only this time I'm posting.

[shmippy]

Sometimes I want to just start completely over and never, ever see anyone I know now again.

...

This place is too big for me. None of this means anything and won't make sense so I'll just stick to song lyrics.

A new song... only half the lyrics are relevant to this feeling.
Build a fire a thousand miles away

Comments

[aizjanika]

Sometimes I want to just start completely over and never, ever see anyone I know now again.

I know this feeling! When I was a teenager, all I wanted was just to move away. I fantasized about going to live in the streets of New York or someplace like that. LOL Yeah, I would have made a great street person--not. hehe (It always appears a much cooler thing in books than it does in real life.) Anyway, it's been cool to be able to move around every few years for all these years, but right now I don't know if we'll be here for a long time or forever. It's a weird feeling. I don't know if the moving around has been a good thing or a bad thing for me or for the kids. Too much of an escape so we don't have to face anything long-term? Or a lesson in adaptibility?

What song is that?

[shmippy]

Heart of Steel by Manowar.

I've had the same kind of dreams from the time I was.. well as far back as I can remember.. probably something to do with my dad being in the Marines and going off to Japan when I was a toddler.. and all the stories of all the places he'd gone.. all the moving around.. for kids.. I think in the long run.. it teaches you adaptability and tough skin and how to start over quickly.. and how to make friends.. or get along just fine alone..

You've got really neat icons.

[aizjanika]

Ah, that's good to hear from another military brat. :-) I think it was hard for my kids to make friends because they were both somewhat shy and introverted and homeschooled. That combination with the moving every couple of years was difficult to overcome at times. Sometimes they got so they resented homeschool group stuff that was intended for them to socialize with other kids. (It seemed too forced to them.) My son (15) is more open to that now, though

[caesarsghost]

Hey... take it from a guy who had several chances to start from scratch:
It sucks.

But it's not like you never did it before... what do you think College was? You knew nobody, and then you had to start from scratch... and you know what? You made friends and stuff...

You CHOSE to hold onto the life that is what you left in Tampa. You could've left that behind 100% with the exception of your family! You decided you didn't want to... that something/body/peoples here wasn't something you wanted out of your life. We all do... we cling to the familiar...

So you could've started things over fresh. Just thought I'd mention that.

a long comment with little relevance

[shmippy]

But it's not like you never did it before... what do you think College was?
Yes, yes I did. College was just a chance to try and fail at fitting in all over again. Been there, done that, four times over, give or take a few. College was just a step up, and I had really no intentions of doing anything but learning.

You made friends and stuff...
Yes, yes I did. It's those friends and the community I was finding that I miss. Why? Because coming back here is like regressing. There I felt like I was growing up. Here I feel like I'm growing down, back into high school. I'm working at a movie theater for chrissakes.

You CHOSE to hold onto the life that is what you left in Tampa. You could've left that behind 100% with the exception of your family! I disagree with you here. Because I think there were somethings I did not specifically CHOOSE to hold onto, as you so aptly point out. Sure, there were some I chose to hold on to, some I chose to let go off, and then there were a lot more things that chose to hold on to me. Who

Re: a long comment with little relevance

[caesarsghost]

Hugs.

I can relate... I came back after 4 years...

[scimminni]

have i told you lately that i love you, man. that clip was beautiful, it makes my little grinch heart start wanting to love and shit. i miss you, my little amiginha. one more month or so! (if there arent any strikes)and you´re not going to believe it, but this year im gonna be able to teach your little chicken legs how to slip across water.

[shmippy]

Do you have any idea how much sunlight you've brought to my utterly dismal day by saying that the clip brought you some beauty?
little chicken legs how to slip accross water?
Water ski? Didn't I fall on my face and ass a lot a while back trying that??
hehe.
Miss you something fierce. Even those times where just sat around doing nothing cause we couldn't think of anything but at least we weren't totally alone, ya know?
*hugs your little grinch heart*

[blueleopard]

I would be sad if I never saw you again because you are family. We adopted you and we're not giving you up.

in case you didn't get the IM - portfolio, on it's way asap.

[shmippy]

Got the IM. Yay for asap of ups ness.

I'm adopted!! *counts pennies* maybe at some point there might be enough of those to fund a trip to visit...

[rivingmass]

Sometimes I want to just start completely over and never, ever see anyone I know now again.

Yep. I'm pretty sure I can empathize with that.

[shmippy]

EMPATHIZE???

Well you damn well better seeing as I took it right from a comment you left as a reply to someone else's comment in your journal. Rather than hit reply to that comment and go off on what I thought about all of it in every sense of the statement, I chose to just post it in my own journal with no explanation because any explanation read by anyone but my brain could so easily be just construed as whining and rambling about old things.

It's nothing.

It was just really weird and random and really really bad timing to find it when I did.
So I posted it to remind myself of how karma kicks ass, and not always the good kind of ass, from time to time.
That's all. Even this comment has to do with that and nothing to do with badgering you for picking the simpliest comment to make out of all that there has been and offer what little you did. Thank you.

[rivingmass]

I knew that. It was especially fresh since I only wrote it a day or two ago.

Karma? Burnt offerings? You're welcome.

[shmippy]

Do you really just not get it like at all?

Because none of what you said makes any sense.