Secrets ~1~ [MC] [SakuMoto]
Sashiburi.. long time no see. I was quite.. busy the past months but now I'm back with a new story. This time's multi-chapter but I hope you like it. Again it's somehow.. sad, but I hope you will read it and comment on it.
„...the rates keep decreasing since this... incident with Matsumoto Jun. The broadcaster and lots of sponsors are thinking about dropping the Drama for the sake of the station but Matsumoto-kun stands that he wants it to go on. The mysterious affair of the Hana Yori Dango-Star with a girl from Kyoto was confirmed yesterday...” A sign popped up and I looked at it, felt like my heart would stop right at the moment. I had screwed up while I was doing News ZERO. Unfortunately at a very delicate topic. You could say I just blabbed out MatsuJun's relationship. And I stared at the sign but couldn't say a word. It was true. He had a girlfriend and we just found out yesterday. She had called him and I picked up the phone since Jun wasn't around. I could feel my aching mustache again and shook my head. “I'm sorry. I just screwed up. Actually I wanted to say he declined the story of him dating a girl.”
After I finished my work I headed back to my dressing room. I couldn't believe how much it hurt me that he had a girlfriend. But I couldn't even say something about it since he had the right to have one. My mobile phone rang and signalized the incoming mail I got. Slowly I took it and looked at it, opened it and read my message which seemed to come from Aiba. He invited me over to have a BBQ. Of course I said yes and smiled softly. At least this evening would become less stressful as yesterday's. Or so I thought.
After I had changed I took my few belongings and went over to Aiba's place. He let me in but somehow.... I couldn't read his face but it wasn't.. Aiba when we did BBQ.
“Are you insane?? Blabbing out my relationship to Aya at the news?” I was shocked when Jun's voice reached me - actually just a few seconds before his fist met my face and right after I had entered the living room. That was the contact which awakened me and I looked up to the younger man when I found myself at the ground. Just at this moment I recognized her. She was sitting beside Ohno and looked at me with a sad face.
“It wasn't on purpo-” I started but Jun cut my words.
“I don't want to listen to your words! I'm full of it. You know that this story will affect Arashi too?”, he asked me and I nodded slowly. Of course would Arashi be affected but I had said that I screwed up, didn't I?
“I'm sorry...”
“It isn't just I'm sorry! This could mean the end for my relationship!”
“I'm sorry....” What else should I say? Slowly I got up and bowed in front of my bandmember. “I'm truly sorry!”
“Get lost, Sakurai!” The words hit me and I looked at him with a hurt expression. I turned around and nearly ran out of the living room to slip into my shoes.
“Oi! The BBQ!”, Masaki shouted and I looked back to him.
“Somehow I'm not hungry anymore. But thanks for inviting me.” I said and left. I didn't even try to smile because I was aware it would never work out to be a smile.
“Please let me stay just for a little longer, Johnny-sama. At this rate I'd like to go with a good feeling. I know it's something that would be impossible but since..” My voice broke and I couldn't talk on. I couldn't say it.
“It's okay, Sho-kun. You're the one who decides when it's best to leave Johnny's Jimousho. At this rate I would say the sooner the better but I'm aware of your feelings. Please enjoy your time and I hope you had fun the past 16 years. I thank you for telling me and that you talked about this matter openly with me. Are you sure there's nothing that could be done?”, my boss asked and I shook my head.
“They said it's impossible.” Johnny nodded and I went home. A few days later I dropped out of News ZERO and tried to concentrate on Arashi. It wasn't that easy since Jun was pretty mad and the others also kept silent because of this awkward atmosphere. I absolutely couldn't feel comfortable with this and made more and more mistakes. I forgot my lines, screwed up while I was talking at VS Arashi and I think about the activities at this show I didn't need to talk. It was as always. Or.. it was even worse.
“Hello and welcome to a new episode of VS Arashi. Last time we lost... like the last two times too.. So we decided on a small change in strategies.” I grinned and the boys applauded.
“Yeah.. at least we should make a great episode out of this, since it's the last one for Sho-kun.”
“Eh?”
“As you might know from the newspapers this morning Sho-kun will leave Arashi and Johnny's Jimousho.”
“That's a pretty bad joke, MatsuJun.” I laughed but met an absolutely serious gaze from my friend. “You know.. the camera is rolling... that has to be a joke.”
“Actually.... we thought Johnny had talked about this matter with you, Sho-kun.” Now it was Nino who was talking and I looked at him.
“Break!!” I looked to the staff while I shouted this word and turned to my band members after the bell was ringing. “What's this about? Don't give me this shit! You can't kick me out of the band.”
“You're right. We can't do this but Johnny-sama can. I've talked with him about you and the past few weeks. You're good for nothing! You can't sing, you can't dance, you can't talk properly.. I wonder how you entered the jimousho. How much did you pay? But at least it doesn't matter since you're out of Johnny's.”
Every word he said hurt me. It truly hurt me and my eyes teared up. Johnny had told me it would be my choice when to drop out of Johnny's. I wanted to make some nice mementos with my friends but at least they all went against me.
“Fine.. I'm out.” With these words I got rid of my microphone and went out of the studio, right at the moment when the cameras began to roll again.
„...the rates keep decreasing since this... incident with Matsumoto Jun. The broadcaster and lots of sponsors are thinking about dropping the Drama for the sake of the station but Matsumoto-kun stands that he wants it to go on. The mysterious affair of the Hana Yori Dango-Star with a girl from Kyoto was confirmed yesterday...” A sign popped up and I looked at it, felt like my heart would stop right at the moment. I had screwed up while I was doing News ZERO. Unfortunately at a very delicate topic. You could say I just blabbed out MatsuJun's relationship. And I stared at the sign but couldn't say a word. It was true. He had a girlfriend and we just found out yesterday. She had called him and I picked up the phone since Jun wasn't around. I could feel my aching mustache again and shook my head. “I'm sorry. I just screwed up. Actually I wanted to say he declined the story of him dating a girl.”
After I finished my work I headed back to my dressing room. I couldn't believe how much it hurt me that he had a girlfriend. But I couldn't even say something about it since he had the right to have one. My mobile phone rang and signalized the incoming mail I got. Slowly I took it and looked at it, opened it and read my message which seemed to come from Aiba. He invited me over to have a BBQ. Of course I said yes and smiled softly. At least this evening would become less stressful as yesterday's. Or so I thought.
After I had changed I took my few belongings and went over to Aiba's place. He let me in but somehow.... I couldn't read his face but it wasn't.. Aiba when we did BBQ.
“Are you insane?? Blabbing out my relationship to Aya at the news?” I was shocked when Jun's voice reached me - actually just a few seconds before his fist met my face and right after I had entered the living room. That was the contact which awakened me and I looked up to the younger man when I found myself at the ground. Just at this moment I recognized her. She was sitting beside Ohno and looked at me with a sad face.
“It wasn't on purpo-” I started but Jun cut my words.
“I don't want to listen to your words! I'm full of it. You know that this story will affect Arashi too?”, he asked me and I nodded slowly. Of course would Arashi be affected but I had said that I screwed up, didn't I?
“I'm sorry...”
“It isn't just I'm sorry! This could mean the end for my relationship!”
“I'm sorry....” What else should I say? Slowly I got up and bowed in front of my bandmember. “I'm truly sorry!”
“Get lost, Sakurai!” The words hit me and I looked at him with a hurt expression. I turned around and nearly ran out of the living room to slip into my shoes.
“Oi! The BBQ!”, Masaki shouted and I looked back to him.
“Somehow I'm not hungry anymore. But thanks for inviting me.” I said and left. I didn't even try to smile because I was aware it would never work out to be a smile.
“Please let me stay just for a little longer, Johnny-sama. At this rate I'd like to go with a good feeling. I know it's something that would be impossible but since..” My voice broke and I couldn't talk on. I couldn't say it.
“It's okay, Sho-kun. You're the one who decides when it's best to leave Johnny's Jimousho. At this rate I would say the sooner the better but I'm aware of your feelings. Please enjoy your time and I hope you had fun the past 16 years. I thank you for telling me and that you talked about this matter openly with me. Are you sure there's nothing that could be done?”, my boss asked and I shook my head.
“They said it's impossible.” Johnny nodded and I went home. A few days later I dropped out of News ZERO and tried to concentrate on Arashi. It wasn't that easy since Jun was pretty mad and the others also kept silent because of this awkward atmosphere. I absolutely couldn't feel comfortable with this and made more and more mistakes. I forgot my lines, screwed up while I was talking at VS Arashi and I think about the activities at this show I didn't need to talk. It was as always. Or.. it was even worse.
“Hello and welcome to a new episode of VS Arashi. Last time we lost... like the last two times too.. So we decided on a small change in strategies.” I grinned and the boys applauded.
“Yeah.. at least we should make a great episode out of this, since it's the last one for Sho-kun.”
“Eh?”
“As you might know from the newspapers this morning Sho-kun will leave Arashi and Johnny's Jimousho.”
“That's a pretty bad joke, MatsuJun.” I laughed but met an absolutely serious gaze from my friend. “You know.. the camera is rolling... that has to be a joke.”
“Actually.... we thought Johnny had talked about this matter with you, Sho-kun.” Now it was Nino who was talking and I looked at him.
“Break!!” I looked to the staff while I shouted this word and turned to my band members after the bell was ringing. “What's this about? Don't give me this shit! You can't kick me out of the band.”
“You're right. We can't do this but Johnny-sama can. I've talked with him about you and the past few weeks. You're good for nothing! You can't sing, you can't dance, you can't talk properly.. I wonder how you entered the jimousho. How much did you pay? But at least it doesn't matter since you're out of Johnny's.”
Every word he said hurt me. It truly hurt me and my eyes teared up. Johnny had told me it would be my choice when to drop out of Johnny's. I wanted to make some nice mementos with my friends but at least they all went against me.
“Fine.. I'm out.” With these words I got rid of my microphone and went out of the studio, right at the moment when the cameras began to roll again.