Secrets ~2~ [MC] [SakuMoto]
Soooo.. I'm back again with chapter two of secrets. I'm totally unsatisfied with this chapter since I truly was out of words and this english sounds totally strange to me.. moooohh I want to be English native speaker Q___Q
I couldn't believe I was kicked out of Johnny's Jimousho. Hadn't I talked to my boss about this matter? Nobody would believe how angry I was. I didn't even feel my tears running down my cheeks. What had I done wrong? There were too many things which made my life terrible these days.
The next day I went to the company I was awaited by lots of reporters and tv-teams. They asked me questions but I didn't even listen to them. I just wanted to pack my things and leave this place as soon as possible. Of course this wasn't as easy as I thought since all the other boys knew what happened the day before.
I entered the dressing room and went straight to my locker which I opened. I began to throw my things into a small bag I had brought with me when I heard a noise behind me. I turned around and looked into the eyes of Jun.
“We had lots of trouble after you left yesterday. I don't think it was necessary.”, he told me and I only shrugged.
“I think you could have talked to me before the show started. I didn't even know what was going on. And I had another agreement with Johnny-sama. At least... yeah.. at least I think I had to go because you had a problem with me since I blabbed out your relationship with Aya. And even now you're mad.” I told him and crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“As we told you yesterday we thought Johnny-sama had talked to you about it. I don't have a problem with you. At least I don't have any more problems with you as all the others too. Have you noticed how much mistakes you made the last few weeks? We couldn't keep you with Arashi!” He glared at me and I looked away.
“You don't know a thing, Matsumoto-kun! The only thing you can do is talk big but you don't have any idea what I've been through the last few weeks. At this rate I just wanted to stay a little longer to make beautiful mementos with you and the boys.”
“You're talking as if you would die within the next months. Don't exaggerate.”
“That's nothing you should joke about, Matsumoto Jun!” I snapped. Then I threw my last things into my bag and closed my locker.
“I wasn't joking but I was talking honestly to you! You have your father. He can help you with a lot of things.”
“But he can't do anything for me right now. Shut the fuck up if you don't have to say something important!” Now I shouted at Jun and I could see that he was shocked. I tossed him aside and left the companybuilding. He had no idea. He would never understand me.
The days passed by and my former band gave one interview after another because of my expulsion from Johnny's and Arashi. At least I had the chance to do some other things like a dorama. I wanted to do something since I had worked for a lot of years without much days off. I couldn't sit at home and do nothing. But I also noticed that everything was getting worse. It was hard standing in front of a camera the whole day since I couldn't concentrate on things very long. But I tried my best and managed it.
At the last day I got praised by our producer and I couldn't tell how proud I felt. These were the things I needed. Not someone who told me that I was good for nothing. I shook my head. There was no time to think about MatsuJun. He had showed me what he thought about our friendship just because of a mistake I made. At least he could stay with his girlfriend. I felt pain in my chest and sighed deeply. I never wanted to be jealous of someone but I knew I was. She got the person I ever wanted but to be honest - and now I was absolutely sure - he never wanted me.
Because of promotion I was guest in a lot of different shows again. Everything so far was alright and it couldn't have been better. But I should have known it better. The day came when I should go to a studio I knew the best. That meant.. the cast should go.
I was the last one who entered the studio and looked around. Everything looked exactly the same as when I left exactly this studio.
“Welcome to VS Arashi.” I looked at the person who was talking to me and my heart began to beat a lot faster. So.. now was MatsuJun the new MC of Arashi. That was interesting but it didn't surprise me.
“Yoroshiku onegaishimasu..” I just mumbled and bowed a little bit, then crossed my arms and looked away.
“He's pouting!” Nino laughed and I glared at him.
“I don't think this is funny.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because Manager-sama told me to promote my new drama here. Oh.. to be honest I didn't even know it was VS Arashi I should go to.” I snapped again and Arashi laughed but I knew the boys so that I could tell it wasn't honest. They also felt uncomfortable with me.
The show started and we managed somehow to win the first game. But there wasn't any good feeling. Nobody could feel at ease and there wasn't much talking while playing Falling Pipe.
The next game was Cliff Climber but we had to go in teams of two. I didn't know why but they selected me. Of all of our participants I had to go at Cliff Climber - as Climber.
“If we have to go in teams of two I will go after Kikuchi-kun. I'm pretty bad at this game so you have to clear most of them.” I told my teammember.
“To be honest you're bad at nearly every game..” Nino mentioned and everyone laughed. I looked at him and sighed. No.. I couldn't think about any word as it was funny since the betrayal of the boys.
The game started and Kikuchi-kun did a great job so I had something you could tell 'Easy-going'. We cleared all buttons and I had just to go up to the 100 Points button when I felt pain all over my body. I couldn't tell where it came from but it was there and it was cruel. I climbed up the wall and pulled myself over the rail but fell hard on the ground. I totally cramped. It hurt like hell. I even felt how my eyes teared up. I felt sick and dizzy. It was hot and cold. Truly.. I thought I had to die at this moment. I didn't even think a bit about the game I just wanted to survive.
The pain became less and I got back on my feet by pulling me up at the small tower. I leaned at it and pressed the button by chance. There still was time left since this feeling had overcome me just for a few seconds, although it felt like it was minutes.
“That makes a perfect score for the cast. If Sakurai-kun may come down to us.. hell you are pale. What happened up there?” I jumped off the roof and fell on my knees since I hadn't the strength to stand. It was Jun who jumped to me and laid his arms around me. He looked at me with a sorrowful face. “Are you okay, Sho? Don't you feel well??” The others gathered around me and I closed my eyes while leaning against Jun. Gently he stroke my back. I couldn't answer. And I didn't want to either since this was the thing I ever wanted.
I couldn't believe I was kicked out of Johnny's Jimousho. Hadn't I talked to my boss about this matter? Nobody would believe how angry I was. I didn't even feel my tears running down my cheeks. What had I done wrong? There were too many things which made my life terrible these days.
The next day I went to the company I was awaited by lots of reporters and tv-teams. They asked me questions but I didn't even listen to them. I just wanted to pack my things and leave this place as soon as possible. Of course this wasn't as easy as I thought since all the other boys knew what happened the day before.
I entered the dressing room and went straight to my locker which I opened. I began to throw my things into a small bag I had brought with me when I heard a noise behind me. I turned around and looked into the eyes of Jun.
“We had lots of trouble after you left yesterday. I don't think it was necessary.”, he told me and I only shrugged.
“I think you could have talked to me before the show started. I didn't even know what was going on. And I had another agreement with Johnny-sama. At least... yeah.. at least I think I had to go because you had a problem with me since I blabbed out your relationship with Aya. And even now you're mad.” I told him and crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“As we told you yesterday we thought Johnny-sama had talked to you about it. I don't have a problem with you. At least I don't have any more problems with you as all the others too. Have you noticed how much mistakes you made the last few weeks? We couldn't keep you with Arashi!” He glared at me and I looked away.
“You don't know a thing, Matsumoto-kun! The only thing you can do is talk big but you don't have any idea what I've been through the last few weeks. At this rate I just wanted to stay a little longer to make beautiful mementos with you and the boys.”
“You're talking as if you would die within the next months. Don't exaggerate.”
“That's nothing you should joke about, Matsumoto Jun!” I snapped. Then I threw my last things into my bag and closed my locker.
“I wasn't joking but I was talking honestly to you! You have your father. He can help you with a lot of things.”
“But he can't do anything for me right now. Shut the fuck up if you don't have to say something important!” Now I shouted at Jun and I could see that he was shocked. I tossed him aside and left the companybuilding. He had no idea. He would never understand me.
The days passed by and my former band gave one interview after another because of my expulsion from Johnny's and Arashi. At least I had the chance to do some other things like a dorama. I wanted to do something since I had worked for a lot of years without much days off. I couldn't sit at home and do nothing. But I also noticed that everything was getting worse. It was hard standing in front of a camera the whole day since I couldn't concentrate on things very long. But I tried my best and managed it.
At the last day I got praised by our producer and I couldn't tell how proud I felt. These were the things I needed. Not someone who told me that I was good for nothing. I shook my head. There was no time to think about MatsuJun. He had showed me what he thought about our friendship just because of a mistake I made. At least he could stay with his girlfriend. I felt pain in my chest and sighed deeply. I never wanted to be jealous of someone but I knew I was. She got the person I ever wanted but to be honest - and now I was absolutely sure - he never wanted me.
Because of promotion I was guest in a lot of different shows again. Everything so far was alright and it couldn't have been better. But I should have known it better. The day came when I should go to a studio I knew the best. That meant.. the cast should go.
I was the last one who entered the studio and looked around. Everything looked exactly the same as when I left exactly this studio.
“Welcome to VS Arashi.” I looked at the person who was talking to me and my heart began to beat a lot faster. So.. now was MatsuJun the new MC of Arashi. That was interesting but it didn't surprise me.
“Yoroshiku onegaishimasu..” I just mumbled and bowed a little bit, then crossed my arms and looked away.
“He's pouting!” Nino laughed and I glared at him.
“I don't think this is funny.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because Manager-sama told me to promote my new drama here. Oh.. to be honest I didn't even know it was VS Arashi I should go to.” I snapped again and Arashi laughed but I knew the boys so that I could tell it wasn't honest. They also felt uncomfortable with me.
The show started and we managed somehow to win the first game. But there wasn't any good feeling. Nobody could feel at ease and there wasn't much talking while playing Falling Pipe.
The next game was Cliff Climber but we had to go in teams of two. I didn't know why but they selected me. Of all of our participants I had to go at Cliff Climber - as Climber.
“If we have to go in teams of two I will go after Kikuchi-kun. I'm pretty bad at this game so you have to clear most of them.” I told my teammember.
“To be honest you're bad at nearly every game..” Nino mentioned and everyone laughed. I looked at him and sighed. No.. I couldn't think about any word as it was funny since the betrayal of the boys.
The game started and Kikuchi-kun did a great job so I had something you could tell 'Easy-going'. We cleared all buttons and I had just to go up to the 100 Points button when I felt pain all over my body. I couldn't tell where it came from but it was there and it was cruel. I climbed up the wall and pulled myself over the rail but fell hard on the ground. I totally cramped. It hurt like hell. I even felt how my eyes teared up. I felt sick and dizzy. It was hot and cold. Truly.. I thought I had to die at this moment. I didn't even think a bit about the game I just wanted to survive.
The pain became less and I got back on my feet by pulling me up at the small tower. I leaned at it and pressed the button by chance. There still was time left since this feeling had overcome me just for a few seconds, although it felt like it was minutes.
“That makes a perfect score for the cast. If Sakurai-kun may come down to us.. hell you are pale. What happened up there?” I jumped off the roof and fell on my knees since I hadn't the strength to stand. It was Jun who jumped to me and laid his arms around me. He looked at me with a sorrowful face. “Are you okay, Sho? Don't you feel well??” The others gathered around me and I closed my eyes while leaning against Jun. Gently he stroke my back. I couldn't answer. And I didn't want to either since this was the thing I ever wanted.