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[shoewhore]

Today was the first time in YEARS that I looked at a picture of Jeff. I was actually looking for something else when I came across it and of course, it just so happened to be my favorite picture of him EVER... And well, I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't immediately go pitter-pat, when I saw it

Comments

[mudlove]

I know people that have been in similar situations. It's hard for an outsider like me to understand why people love people that are so obviously toxic to them. I'm not saying Jeff was toxic to you, I just mean it's hard to see the good in someone who inflicts pain on a person that loves him. But only you saw something good in him and as outsiders we can't judge.

Bah, sorry to babble. I was trying to go somewhere with this. LOL!

[shoewhore]

Oh, I totally understand that. The thing about Jeff is, he wasn't so much toxic to me as he was toxic to himself. Of course, to the outsiders of our relationship, it was always wondered what the heck I was doing. But, as is usually the case in these kinds of situations, I was the only one who really knew Jeff and who really understood him

[villagefool]

Ugh, Adelle... I guess we all have one of those, eh? Just seems like you go along fine then *poof* out of the clear blue, due to whatever thought pattern you were previously on, up pops a memory of that someone and everything comes flooding back. Sucks, don't it? Glad to know I'm not the only one, but still sorry for ya. I got on that memory kick the other day and I'm still fighting off the urge to throw on fleece pjs and sit in front of a "Gilmore Girls" marathon to see how sweet 'Dean' is. Hahaha.

[shoewhore]

I know! It's crazy how many little things remind me of him. Like, any time I see someone smoking Winston cigarettes I IMMEDIATELY think of Jeff because Jeff didn't call them "cigarettes" he called them "Winstons". He would say things to me like, "Here... Have a drag of my Winston". LOL

Or, if anyone mentions disc golf, or Rusted Root, or even if I hear that FUCKING "It's Been A While" song from Staind! Grrrrrrrrr!!!

New Year's Eve reminds me of him, air matresses remind me of him, Nissan Pathfinders remind me of him, U of Hawaii Men's basketball reminds me of him... I mean, it is just RIDICULOUS the amout of random things that will trigger something.

Ugh... You got room on your couch? I'm packing my PJs, and I'll bring the popcorn! Bring on the Dean, Lane and her crazy ass mother! ;)

[villagefool]

Whoa! Pathfinders are a Brian thing for me, too! Yet I can't help myself and look into every black one I pass to see if its him...And possibly his wife. Ugh. Oh, and Dave Matthews Band. Oy. I used to love DMB... Now the intro of a song just kills me.

Ugh.

Yes, the couch is big enough. I'll stop at Hollywood Video on my way home and pick up whatever they have. Let me know when you get close ;)