ficlet; void, tonks/lupin(/sirius)
title: Void
author: shornt
pairing: Tonks/Lupin(/Sirius)
rating: PG
words: 480
notes: Lupin didn't expect her. Tonks went looking for him.
Lupin yearned for those who left before him. His friends, his ghosts, his reasons. He remembers Lily's steady gaze, James's wide grin, Sirius's playful bark. He loved them all, he grasps at their memories, he revels in his dreams. He hates himself.
Tonks looked up to those who came before her. She saw the pictures, read the articles, listened to the stories. She was proud, proud to call herself a member of the same, proud to be given the chance to fight for the same cause as her fallen heroes and to stand beside those still living.
Lupin was jealous. To choose to be part animal was one thing, to have it thrust upon you was another. A friendly dog is not a fierce wolf. Neither is a pig snout and bright pink hair. Those are decisions, reversible and yielding. He has his claws to manage, his cross to bear.
Tonks was eager. She needed to prove herself. When she met him, she changed her hair to a dark brown, her eyes to a steady blue. She needed to be taken seriously. She needed him to look for her, to find her, to see her.
Lupin closed himself off. Misplaced blame, unfair anger, selfish cowardice. He wasn't looking for love. He wasn't ready to open up again, he wasn't ready to lose. He had enough loss. He wouldn't let himself feel the sting again.
Tonks spread herself around. She was an auror, she was trained, she could protect. She watched her friends fall, watched her cousin fade, watched her Order fail. She would not let the same happen to him. This time, she would be ready.
Lupin didn't expect her. Bright, determined, loose limbed and battle ready. The same glint in her eye, a similar scorch on their family tree. He could let himself pretend, let himself believe. But the playing only went so far; she was her own, she was vivacious and open and searching.
Tonks went looking for him. He fascinated her, confused her. She craved to learn more, to touch him, to know the man her cousin so dearly cared for. When she felt the pain, felt the loss, she found the comfort in his eyes. The same eyes her cousin looked to. She could feel him there.
He searched for Sirius. He found her.
She reached toward Sirius. She kept him.
Lupin will never live to know his child, but he will die for the memory of everyone he loved. He will die so his child will know peace. He will die before his child knows him.
Tonks will never live to know Lupin, but she will die by his side instead of giving in. She will die so he can follow her there. She will die so one day, their child will know his parents as heroes.
author: shornt
pairing: Tonks/Lupin(/Sirius)
rating: PG
words: 480
notes: Lupin didn't expect her. Tonks went looking for him.
Lupin yearned for those who left before him. His friends, his ghosts, his reasons. He remembers Lily's steady gaze, James's wide grin, Sirius's playful bark. He loved them all, he grasps at their memories, he revels in his dreams. He hates himself.
Tonks looked up to those who came before her. She saw the pictures, read the articles, listened to the stories. She was proud, proud to call herself a member of the same, proud to be given the chance to fight for the same cause as her fallen heroes and to stand beside those still living.
Lupin was jealous. To choose to be part animal was one thing, to have it thrust upon you was another. A friendly dog is not a fierce wolf. Neither is a pig snout and bright pink hair. Those are decisions, reversible and yielding. He has his claws to manage, his cross to bear.
Tonks was eager. She needed to prove herself. When she met him, she changed her hair to a dark brown, her eyes to a steady blue. She needed to be taken seriously. She needed him to look for her, to find her, to see her.
Lupin closed himself off. Misplaced blame, unfair anger, selfish cowardice. He wasn't looking for love. He wasn't ready to open up again, he wasn't ready to lose. He had enough loss. He wouldn't let himself feel the sting again.
Tonks spread herself around. She was an auror, she was trained, she could protect. She watched her friends fall, watched her cousin fade, watched her Order fail. She would not let the same happen to him. This time, she would be ready.
Lupin didn't expect her. Bright, determined, loose limbed and battle ready. The same glint in her eye, a similar scorch on their family tree. He could let himself pretend, let himself believe. But the playing only went so far; she was her own, she was vivacious and open and searching.
Tonks went looking for him. He fascinated her, confused her. She craved to learn more, to touch him, to know the man her cousin so dearly cared for. When she felt the pain, felt the loss, she found the comfort in his eyes. The same eyes her cousin looked to. She could feel him there.
He searched for Sirius. He found her.
She reached toward Sirius. She kept him.
Lupin will never live to know his child, but he will die for the memory of everyone he loved. He will die so his child will know peace. He will die before his child knows him.
Tonks will never live to know Lupin, but she will die by his side instead of giving in. She will die so he can follow her there. She will die so one day, their child will know his parents as heroes.